Over Frustrated Between My Two Boys

I really can feel the NUTSO feelings... because I and all Moms feel that at times.
Its okay. But still it drives us nuts.

I have 2 kids. My oldest is 7. What I do with her is, I always explain to her... about baby/kid development. In ways she can understand. I say, "your brother is just a baby, he cannot talk yet...but he loves you. Look, he smiles at you..." etc. I explain to her... that she was a baby once, and she was that way too. When my youngest is "irritating" to her... I explain, again, about child development to her. She UNDERstands. Then it makes her little brother's actions more palatable. I tell her, "he's at the stage where he does not know how to share.... its not easy for him....", or "He's at the stage/age where he is understanding jokes & doing it... so bear with him..."
All along... I explain to her... about her little brother.
It makes it TONS better for her.
My 2 kids are close and enjoy each others company.
But it takes explaining to them, both... they don't know it, automatically.

Ditto S H. That's the way I handle things between my two boys, ages 2 and 8. I always relate things back to what my 8yo was doing at that age and tell him again how proud I was of him when he learned these new things as a baby and how much his example is helping his brother grow and learn. So essentially, my oldest is watching his babyhood/toddlerhood again through his little brother and it's fascinating for him. And this time he gets to see it from the sidelines and be a cheerleader for his brother. My little one is now old enough to start understanding a little more about his big brother too, so I make sure to do the same thing, just in reverse and of course in a little different way. My older son models understanding for my younger son and they're both getting better at relating to each other every day.

Maybe instead of trying to talk to your 9 year old so he can understand, try validating his feelings. " oh, it makes you sad that your brother can't say bub bub, I guess you want him to talk to you" etc, etc. Maybe then your 9 year old can talk through what is bothering a bit and, with some sympathy , possibly move through his emotions. Then after he gets a chance to talk, you could give examples of how you can tell the baby loves him (he smiles at him, etc). or maybe tell him you had to wait for him to say "ma ma" and it made you sad, and one day he did say "ma ma". If he has to talk about it a lot, maybe it is just because his 9 year old brain is havings trouble figuring thing out.

Hey Dee,

I would suggest that you speak to your pediatrian about a referal to an occupational therapist or a speech therapist that deals with feeding issues. You can work on the gag reflex and help him to learn ot tolerate solids. Don't let it go on too long without help, by eating and moving chewed food from the front of his moth to the back with his tounge, he is buiding the mucles he needs for clear speech.

M.

I don't have experience with this, but I wonder if there are books at the library that deal with this kind of thing... (the brother age difference frustration). Re. the foods, I would ask your pediatrician for recommendations. The little guy might still need the mushy stuff. Good luck!

My kids are 3 yo and 6 yo and my 6 yo has been doing this for the past month. If I say anything positive to the 3 yo, she gets upset and takes it to mean I think negatively about her. It is very frustrating. I haven't found the solution yet, just know that you are not alone.

Put him in the high chair with finger foods, they go through this phase where they don't want to be feed, as for the 9 year old get him in some kind of sports or hobby. And know all moms get frustrated with their kids. J.

Updated

Put him in the high chair with finger foods, they go through this phase where they don't want to be feed, as for the 9 year old get him in some kind of sports or hobby. And know all moms get frustrated with their kids. J.