Over-structured?

R.,

My son is almost 2 1/2 and in the 2 y/o room at Kindercare. They have a "plan for learning" that they follow, which is great. They also have expectations of the kids to participate in certain activities as a group (and sit still)as well as being able to roam an play on their own.

My son, personally, thrives on structure and routine (a "gift" from me). He sleeps/naps/eats at the same time everyday and is thrown when things get mixed around. He puts his toys away where they belong and he knows where to find them. He likes to know what to expect and counts on it. That being said, he also is very independent and likes to explore and play on his own either in the room or outside. I've stopped by the center at various times during the day and have seen him playing alone and playing with others or sitting in a group for singing and story time. My son loves going to daycare and cheers when we pull in the parking lot.

I feel that there needs to be a good balance of structure and free time. If there is too much of either, then you run into issues. Ask a 2 (or 3) year old to sit still for too long and they will become cranky, restless and act out (at least mine will, lol). At the same time, if they don't learn to enjoy some down time in an organized way they'd run wild all the time doing whatever they wanted.

If you feel that the teacher is being too hard on your son and asking him to do too much with regard to sitting still, then I'd look into it further. Maybe the director has a different idea of structure than the teacher. Some times, teachers get a little too controlling. But, think about when you were in school - different teachers have different methods and personalities. I'd talk to the director; see what S/HE expects in the 3 year old room. If the daycare's program is more structured than you're comfortable with, then by all means...look elsewhere.

Good luck.

T.

I think kids at that age need to have most of the day available to explore on their own. They're too young to sit and listen for more than a few minutes at a time. So I guess it depends on how long the reading and singing periods are.

But it does sound like maybe this place isn't ideal for your child right now. I think you should tour some other programs and see if you can find something that is a better fit for his needs.

I've been really happy with the two (completely different) preschools my two sons have gone to. One was a montessori, and the current son is going to a play-based preschool that's NYAEC-accredited. I think the most important things are the warmth and acceptance of the teachers and the community, the freedom to explore, the availability of many wonderful materials (water table, clay, puzzles, all sorts of hands-on experience), and a positive experience every day.

Our montessori actually did the group circle time, so you may find that at other places. I don't think the current preschool has anything like that (although they do have reading.)

i have had my now four year old son in Montessori seens he was 2 years old and it has been the best thing for him i would tell any parent that they should put there kids in Montessori schooling it has helped so much with everything with my son if you need any help finding a Montessori school send me an email and i will help you out good luck

Is this a preschool or an actual daycare? That makes a difference.

Maybe try speaking with your daycare provider if you haven't already. They may be able to give you more feedback on what issues he's having and how often. Have you ever had a chance to observe a little of what goes on by stopping in unexpectedly? I would definitely want to find out exactly what's going on before changing his environment. Perhaps another environment will mask issues he may be having. Hope everything works out!

I think every child learns in their own way. If you feel your son is not thriving in his current environment, you may want to check out some options. Tour a couple of places, and see how they differ from your current school.

When I was looking at preschools, I found they all said "the right" things, but when I met with them, and toured the facility I really got a feel for the environment. I chose a place that "felt" right for my daughter - and she LOVES it.

Good luck!

Do you have a sense of what the daycare's general philosophy is? If they have this documented (like in their parent handbook) this should give you a sense of what they're trying to accomplish. Talk to the teacher and ask her/him what a typical day is like, or better yet, volunteer to help out for a day in another classroom (not the one where your son is - that's too distracting) so you can see for yourself.

I am always a little hesitant about the alternative learning environments, only because the quality of learning tends to be HIGHLY dependent on the teachers. (I don't think this is really an issue for preschool where cooperative play and learning to follow directions should really be the focus, but once you get to kindergarten and older it becomes more important). IMHO, Montessori is great when it's done well and completely useless if it's not. Waldorf I find odd all around and wouldn't personally send my kid there, but lots of parents disagree with me.

Ultimately, though, you should just decide which educational philosophy matches yours the most closely and go with that. It may be that his current spot is fine and you just need to talk to the teacher.