Outings Guilt

Do you mean 5 months or 5 years. A 5 month old baby doesn't throw tanatrums. When they cry they have a need that isn't being met. And....a 5 month old may not enjoy outings . At that age staying home is a good idea. You'll have plenty of opportunity to take her places when she's older and enjoys it.

Yep, Marda is right -- five month olds do not have tantrums yet; they have needs that are not being met (they're hungry, they're tired, they hate the way something in the car seat is poking them, they are startled by being iin the stroller and in unfamilar surroundings). Please don't imagine she's intentionally being naughty and resisting to misbehave because at five months she simply is not developmentally capable of that kind of thinkiing and manipulation. (Someone posted that you musn't let her think she's the boss. She's not capable of that kind of thinking yet!) And of course she wants to be carried. She's an infant and feels safest when physically close to you. Try not to expect more than she is capable of handling at this age.

At five months she needs some stimulation and yes, you should try short runs -- the nearest park and some time on a blanket on the ground, then home again, as someone noted. That's enough at her age.

Be sure too that when she's in the stroller she knows you are there -- Does her stroller have her facing away from you or toward you? If she's facing away from you in the stroller, you have vanished in her mind; get a stroller where she faces you and you might see a difference. To infants this young, when you are out of sight, you have disappeared permanently; they have zero idea that you actually exist when you're not with them, so her stroller distress after more than a short around-the-yard run may come from the fact that the stroller means mom is gone for good.

Also reassess: Are you thinking in terms of "let's go for long walks, go to the mall play area" etc? What did you have in mind by exploriing? She can get overstimulated too, remember. Make only short runs, have her where she can see you, time things so she is well fed and not close to a nap-- and naps are a lot of the time at this age. You have tons of time later for lots of great exploring. Right now, take it easier and try not to be frustrated with her because she's not capable yet of handling the outings you had in mind.

Get a sling! (or a mobi wrap, or whatever carrier works best for you) I LOVED my sling-- it was just a plain old ring sling -- 2 rings and fabric. He loved being carried upright in it so he could look over my shoulder. AND with the baby in the sling strangers can't put their grubby hands all over your clean baby!

Babies don't like change. She is used to being home most of the time. Take her out, she needs to learn to be social and to be outside. She will get used to it. Put her in the stroller and go for a walk, even if it's only around the block. A lot of kids cry when they are put in the carseat and stroller, part of it is the tight straps needed for their safety. She will get used to it.

My daughter prefers to be "worn" instead of in a stroller, so I put her in my Ergo/sling/mei tai and we just walk wherever, be it the grocery or the mall or hiking a trail. She likes to be close and feel the movement of my body, and she'll either just look around peacefully or fall asleep. She doesn't like being restrained in her car seat, but usually once we get going, she calms down. Unfortunately the car seat is non-negotiable, so do check it out and make sure that there is nothing poking into her back and the straps are properly adjusted.

At 5 months, your baby isn't throwing a tantrum. She might not be comfortable in her stroller or car seat. My youngest hated riding in the car until she got a bit older. With that said, I still ran errands and got out of the house for my sanity. However, I kept driving to a minimum and held her as often as possible. So don't beat yourself up! There will be plenty of time for taking your daughter on outings. For now, just do short outings for your sanity. I think a sling/wrap/carrier is a great idea too! Good luck!

Both of my daughters lived in my Baby Bjorn at that age. Can't recommend them highly enough. Even a leisurely 20 minute walk would do you both good.

And btw, a 5 month old is incapable of throwing a tantrum. She only has one way of communicating right now and that's crying. If she's crying, she's trying to tell you something - I'm hot, I'm uncomfortable, I'm hungry, I'm bored, etc.

Best of luck to you and your precious girl!!

She's throwing tantrums at 5 months old and you're giving in?!

What you do is steel yourself to be the one in charge, and put her in her stroller and go. Same with her car seat. If she cries you let her, babies cry. As long as they're not in harm's way or hungry or needing a diaper change you let them, because you have to do what you need to do. Talk to her about everything around her, play music in the car, distract her and if it doesn't work then she cries. Don't stay home, it leads to depression and resentment.

I'm a single parent of a headstrong almost 2.5 little guy, and yes, it can be frustrating at times to deal with crying and screaming but when you show them it doesn't get them their way they stop and enjoy the world around them and move on. There will be times throughout her life she will try to get her way, you can count on it. It takes lots of love to do what's best for a child, and the sooner you start the easier it will be. Consistency in how you deal with her is the key, it will show her that you're in control, not her.

God bless.

I agree with TARI S.

Put her in a carrier- be sure to get a good one so you don't strain you back.

Take her out & show her everything. In time she will like the stroller.
:p

She's 5 months. She is not having a tantrum and you shouldn't just plop her in the stroller and let her cry as someone suggested. Invest in a good carrier (I love my Beco Gemini) and cuddle your sweet babe on your outings. With a good carrier, you can go anywhere! Neither of my kids liked the stroller that much and, truthfully, I enjoy snuggling with them as much as possible and enjoy the carrier and sling. People are amazed at all the places we take our kids (and the stroller rarely leaves our house!).

As for the car seat, you might want to switch her from her infant seat to the larger convertible car seat (like the Britax Marathon) so that she can see out the window. She'd still be facing backwards, but I found with them higher, they were a bit happier, although they still don't love the car.

Good luck and cherish this little cuddly baby time!

Hit the park, take a blanket and some toys for her to play with, put her on the swing. She'll meet other kids and play together. Have a helthy snack for her always.
Something is bothering her. You've got to do it though, or else she'll do what she wants with you. Don't give in. You're the mama.

Be well.

You get to be the parent and just ignore the tantrums and go about your business. She will get the idea she's not the boss and will eventually stop them. She is young and will obviously not be able to be totally ignored but if you are going somewhere then she has to sit in the car seat, there is no choice. She just gets to cry until you get where you are going. As for the stroller, take it everywhere, Walmart, the grocery store, to the track, to the Y, everywhere, plop her in it and keep going. Talking to her, singing, paying her attention in a positive manner will help distract her. She has to get used to it. You can't be tied to your house for the rest of her childhood...lol.

Good luck momma!

I agree on the carrier, she gets to be carried (which is probably the best at that age anyway), and you don't have to truly carry her. I use an Ergo and it is wonderful. My 3 year old still uses it, and it is incredibly comfortable. We didn't use the stroller much ever because I loved carrying him like that.

Some kids just don't like the car. Maybe it is uncomfortable, or she just likes seeing you? Check the seat, feel for anything sharp or bumpy that wouldn't feel good to a baby. Also, if you don't have a little carseat mirror, try one, my son would actually look out the front window using his, and he would look at us. Maybe try test runs, just go to places really close by at first to get her used to riding in the car.

You also can walk places (practice with the stroller so she can get more used to that, or use a baby carrier). We have a park close by, and I spent so much time there when my son was a baby, he liked to swing, or just sit in my lap before he could crawl. Then he spent a lot of time crawling and learning to walk there, it was something different for both of us. You can also just walk around the block, show her the leaves/flowers/houses/etc. You will get out more when she is older, I think most first time parents are stuck at home for most of the first year.

Get a good carrier. Baby Bjorns are really bad for babies' spines. Get something that positions her so that her knees are elevated. We have the Beco Butterfly II, but the Ergo is also very good.

Our youngest hated the stroller at that age, too.

There isn't anything wrong with staying home, but do think about what you want her to be accustomed to later.

What about a Baby Bjorn? It's great for exercise and the baby loves being close to Mommy.