Our Granddaughter

It is a phase. She'll outgrow it but there is no way of knowing how long it will take.

Both my daughters went through a stage where they disliked women. Grandma in particular. She wasn't thrilled with it but she knew it would pass. Now they love going to grandma's house.

Does he have a beard?

Weird question I know... but as a baby. I had an irrational fear of men with beards and mustaches, including grandpa, santa clause, my uncles... if you had a beard I didn't like you... shave it off and I was fine... I grew out of it.

Also... try to have him speak softly... especially if he has a gruff or low voice. To most people it might sound friendly, but to a baby he could sound angry or scary when he doesn't mean to.

Lastly... is he mindful of his facial expressions... To a baby if you are smiling you are happy, frowning is sad, scowling is angry. She might not be developed enough yet to see a twinkle in his eye if his face doesn't LOOK calm and happy. I have a "grumpy" grandpa, he always is sarcastic and seems ticked off at something all the time... he is hilarious! I love hime... but when I was little I always thought he was grumpy... and he is still called "grumpa" by all the kids in the family.

good luck!
-M.

He has to get over having his feelings hurt by a baby. If he doesn't see her often, then this is to be expected. She does not know what a grandfather is, he is not familiar to her and it's normal for toddlers to have a fear of strangers. Maybe it would help if he saw her sometimes on the weekend with her parents, so that she'll be more familiar with him. It might help if while she's at your house, you show her his picture and remind her that grandpa is coming home soon. Also, let her approach him, rather than him coming in to greet her, even if he just wants to play with her. She does not understand what the relationship is and while babies are called "good" for letting others hold them without crying, the fact is we DON'T want kids to be friendly to people they don't know well, that's not safe.

I think it is somewhat normal. When DD was that age she had a STRONG preference for me and wouldn't give her DAD the time of day so to speak, breaking out in tears and tantrums if he tried to engage her... even though he lives with us and she saw him every day... she just didn't get a lot of quality one on one time with him because of his work schedule and well, because I was always around.

My husband was very hurt by this as well and I explained that he needed to spend more QUALITY time alone with her. So he did. She came around fast and now at almost 5 years of age is a real daddy's girl.

It could be the tone in his voice. I would suggest having him come home and just go about his business. Don't talk, don't approach her immediately, definitely don't "get in her face"... like the others have said, it's a phase (albeit a hurtful one) and forcing it will only make it go on longer. She's more likely to approach him if he just hangs back and lets her warm up to the "new voice" in the house.

He should not, take it personally.
She is 18 months. Developmentally, they go through a TON of things, and they do not know everything yet.
She is a child.
At this age, they go through all kinds of phases.

My son, when he was about that age, was SCARED of an Uncle, whom he knows and has been around a lot before. My Uncle didn't take it personally. Why should he? My son was just a young Toddler. My son, was "scared" of Uncle, because of the way he looked. He has wild bushy gray and white hair. And when he doesn't shave, he looks like a cave-man. And his voice, really carries, even if he is not talking loud. So all of that, just scared, my son. Oh well. Then one day, my son just grew out of it. And my son doesn't even remember being afraid of Uncle. He really likes, his Uncle.

AND.... kids can really feel the vibes of others. So, if your Husband is stressed and tense when he comes home, and it is because... your Granddaughter cries when he is around, then, your granddaughter is probably... just feeling your Husband's vibes. And it makes her upset.

Your Husband should not get all hurt and mad that his granddaughter is going through a phase. He is an adult. She is the child.
Perhaps, read a book about child development. "What To Expect The Toddler Years" or just Google search "18 month old development."
Kids this age... do not even have, fully developed emotions or communication, nor do they even have full understanding of abstract feelings and they don't even know why they feel a certain way or not. They don't even know the "names" for feelings etc.
So perhaps, if your Husband knows this, he won't be just mad at your granddaughter and take it all so personally.

That is not unusal for kids to go through stages and like only the caregiver aand sometimes the dad or mom is the one that makes them cry and carry on. She will outgrow it and I would just say this is grandpa and he loves you and let it go and don't exclude him but ask him to not force himself on her for a bit. It will soon be over and gone and she'll love grandpa if he is able to stick it out and ignore her cries. Don't give in to her but don't force the issue either.

Aww! poor Grandpa....he just wants some loving from the baby and she is too scared of strangers at this age........What if Grandpa comes home as usual and has his dinner, comes in the living room...settles down in his recliner without saying anything and then starts doing something fun like tickling the dogt (if you have one) or making funny noises....or even suggests an activity that the baby enjoys like going for a walk/stroller ride......maybe after some warming up some activities can be reserved just for Grandpa!

What happens if he holds her and doesn't say anything, or whispers? Maybe the tone of his voice is what bothers her.

as long as he doesnt get resentful and still tries but doesnt push himself on her it will pass with time and she'll probably go through a phase where shes pop pops girl and wants nothing to do with you.
thats how my daughter is. she is 5 now and she switches back and forth with her grandparents as to which she prefers (not in a hurtful way. J. one gets extra hugs and kisses) when she was a baby she was afraid of my ex's parents and they forced themselves on her and it lasted tons longer..now she is the one out of all of the grandkids who is closest to them

It could be anything or nothing and just a phase, or some combination somewhere in between.

My son would have nothing to do with my brother at that age. Nothing. He wasn't scared around anyone else. My brother had a beard and a deep voice----no one else did. Husband didn't. Papa didn't. Other uncles and friends of ours didn't. Just my one brother. It took a while (months, not hours), but he eventually got over it.

Is there anything about your husband that is outside of the "normal" range for your granddaughter? Does he wear glasses and no one else does? Have a mustache or other facial hair different from what she is accustomed to? Have a very deep or high pitched voice? Wear a uniform of some sort? (just a few ideas...)

Lots of babies go through this phase.
Just keep him speaking kindly doing fun things (let her see).

He shouldn't get his feelings hurt, it is a phase. Not him.

My daughter went through a phase like that when she was that age of all of a sudden "not liking" my mother - and this was her grandmother that we had lived with for a short period of time, who had taken care of her when we were working, and then when we moved into our new home, suddenly caused DD to become distressed, cry, etc. just by being around. DD would get all shy and not even want my mom to look at or talk to her. She wasn't trying to hurt anyone's feelings, she just couldn't help it. By the time she turned 2, she was over it. She still didn't like other elderly women though, and now that she is 5, she's much better about not acting all weird at first.

My mother would get her feelings all bent out of shape but eventually had to realize that it had nothing to do with her personally - and that is what your husband must realize too. He needs to stop thinking something is wrong, and just know that toddlers do this, and it is normal. Maybe if he read up on toddler development, it would help. And/or have him read the responses you are getting on here. Having her more often, maybe on a day when you guys can spend more time together, or take her out some place fun, like the park or the zoo, might help. That, and just giving it time and being more patient.

For what it's worth, my youngest granddaughter wanted nothing to do with her own daddy for several months, and she eyed her grandfather (Papa) with great suspicion. She was a mama's girl for a long time. Now that she's three, she approves highly of Daddy. Papa? Still not so sure. :^)

Around 18 months my daughter pretty much did not like ANY man except for her Dad. She would cry if any male would try and talk to her let alone get anywhere close to her.
She is 2 now and seems to be pretty much over that. It is probably just a phase, I can understand why that would hurt his feelings but hopefully he can try and not take it too personal.

I think it's a phase. There was a time when my own DD didn't want Daddy at all, and they got through it. What you might try is leaving him with her alone and then go do something else. Like run an errand. Remind him that it's not HIM, it's that she's in a common toddler phase. When she cries, does he leave? He should stick around. Maybe try getting on the floor and interacting with her. I also wonder if she knows that when he comes home, her parents will soon be there, too.

She's just going through a phase. I hope this will turn arouond soon for him and you and for her.

Has your husband changed anything about his appearance? Like a different hat or clothing? Has he done anything differently?

Are there any unresloved issues, even small ones, between the two of you? Babies and children pick up on these kinds of things quite easily. Does he have tension he's holding from driving in traffic or from work or anything like that? You have to look closely at this picture. What is he carrying with him that upsets the child? He should not take it personally, although I can see how it would not be comfortable and would cause hurt feelings. But she is a BABY and she sure does not have intentions to hurt as she knows nothing of it.

Maybe if he simply is very peaceful and after he's in the house a little while he can sing a very soft sweet baby type song from another room. You can hold her and say to her something like, "whats that I hear, who's that singing. My goodness what a sweet tune, who's singing?" etc. And then you go to look while holding her for who is singing that sweet little song. etc. Maybe this or something similar will re-introduce grandpa to her. Keep it very sweet and very simple. Protect her senses.

The best to you all

This takes me right back to when my daughter was a baby. From about 4 mos until 24 mos, she was afraid of any man other than her daddy. She saw my dad every day since my mom took care of her M-F while I worked. At that time, my Dad was not working and was around the house all day, but she would cry if he tried to look at her or talk to her. This hurts his feelings terribly. Eventually she grew out of it. It was a bit easier for him when my boys also went through this phase. He remembered that it's temporary. He still had hurt feelings, but not nearly as bad as with my daughter.