Our 11 month old (our first) is largely happy playing independently. He will play with his toys, bang the remote, reach fort he lamps, rock his rocking moose, cruise along. He will move from room to room, and will look for Mom or Dad if we move away from where he last saw us.
He's a very active, sweet, determined boy, and gets sillies, enjoys giggling, is enchanted by singing, hand games, and looks to show off his accomplishments.
The thing is, he doesn't care to interact with us much. He is happy to play by himself. He will only seek us out if he's tired, wet or hungry.
Should we leave good enough alone, and champion the fact that he is self sufficient? Is his behaviour so called parallel play? Should we try to point out that the train he is pushing is blue? or open up the shape sorter and play with him, or near him for 5 minutes every half an hour or so?
More about us-
I work full time, hubs is in grad school. DS is in the care of my parents and our wonderful Manny. They report that he's largely content to play by himself with them too.
The ped thinks that this is just part of his developing personality. She thinks its great that he can play independently, and that when needed he seeks us out and can show affection. She recommends that we let him carry on as he is, and carry on making "observing" comments to help with speach and vocabulary, but not to overstimulate him. Let him emerge as his own being.
Have any of you had infants who are independent souls? How did you handle this? Did they continue to have this personality?
I imagine I might get some count your blessings remarks from mamma's who have babies who are stuck to them like glue. I am all ears. Helps to have perspective.
Thanks for all your advice.
He sounds very secure and confident, He's only 11 mos old tho and this could change as he gets a little more mature and will want bigger challenges, that's when he'll be looking to you to help entertain him. Enjoy the calm while it lasts.
It's wonderful he's so independent, sounds like a very bright child with healthy and trusting attachments. Yes, you should be talking to him about his blue train and how the track is shaped like a circle, and one car is bigger and the other is smaller. How it feels smooth and hard, but another is rough and jagged. Take him outside, point out the warm sun, the breeze on his face is from the wind, the sky is blue and the grass is green, the trees have leaves that will fall off soon in the cold, the ants are small and tiny but strong. Teach him about his hands, fingers, nose, ears, bellybutton...
A lot of it is parallel play, but you need to be there playing with him. Children learn through play and communication with parents. That is how they learn to operate objects, talk, define theories and ideas, learn how things work, cause and effect, how they learn to socialize and act with peers and family... you can be the voice of reason to help him conceptualize what his discoveries actually mean and how to interact with others aside from simply having his physical needs met. You guys should be reading books to him daily and playing with him, singing songs to him and nursery ryhmes, doing action games. It's wonderful he is independent and curious, mine were too, (and still are), but they need that interaction... more than just 5 minutes every half hour.
He sounds perfectly normal. Even if other children were around him, they would not play "together". instead they would just be playing.
When you do activities with him, he will learn to play with others.
I agree he is only 11 months old. He could stay this way, but he will eventually also enjoy playing with parents, Manny, Grandparents and other children, but it will still be a while.
Our 2nd child (now almost 2) is like this - it's very nice. I think it is nothing to worry about and is just part of your child's more independent and confident personality. It's a very good thing. Our first was the opposite when he was little. He had to be attached to me. CONSTANTLY. It was very very exhausting. I do have to watch our daughter (our independent sole) carefully though bc even at 1 yr old she would run off at playgrounds and other places and would climb up on things or go up giant slides with no help. She quickly gets herself into trouble! :)
Sounds like my little guy! I think it's a sign of very healthy attachment that he feels safe and secure to explore the world on his own. He knows mom and dad (or grandparents, whoever) are there when needed. Shows he feels safe and secure :) This is great! My son was/is the same way. He comes to us occasionally to show a toy or get a snack, whatever he needs. He has never been super cuddly or snuggly though - very independent. For the record, he is 16 months old now, and I think for the past maybe 3 months or so, he seems to be a bit more affectionate. We started to teach him how to give kisses and hugs and now if you beg him for one he'll oblige, which is WONDERFUL for a mommy who typically has Mr. Independent. Also, he's learned when he gets an "owie" to run to mom for an "all better" kiss, which is also nice. Now, he also understand if I say "lay your head down on mommy" when he's sleepy, so now he'll do this too, which is nice. So, I believe he will probably continue to be very independent, but this is a great thing. As he learns more skills and such, you may get more attention. I agree with his pedi's advice. We also used the times that he was less engrossed in his activities to work on things. For example, when he is strapped in his high chair or his car seat (ie any place he can't run off - he's an on the go guy!) we used these chances to work on and teach him things like "where's your nose!?" etc.
