Other Mom's Who Have FMS and Have a Toddler

Updated on March 08, 2008
K.S. asks from Riverside, CA
6 answers

I have an adorable 28 month old boy who is an only child. He seems to be a bit behind other children his age, I think in part because I am unable to do certain activities with him due to my Fibromyalgia. I was wondering if any other FMS mom's have suggestions on how to get him up to "speed" with other kids his age.

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D.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi Kathleen,

I do not have a toddler any more, but do have FMS. I am so sorry to hear your dilema. How much help are you getting for your disease? What have you tried to get help for your sleep? I have many friends with the same problems and every person is different, but it doesn't sound like you are quite in "control" of it yet. It can be a hard thing to get. The truth is that there is not really a substitue for exposing your child to experiences in life. Of course I don't say this to make you feel guilty. You are in no way at fault for what you are going through. Get as much help as you can from as many people as you can to take him out and about and spend that "teaching time" with him. It would be wonderful if you could be the one to do that, I know, but for now, make arrangements for him to get some "life tutoring". Talk to family, friends, etc. and see who can help you out. You have to look at things from a different perspective when you have limitations. The mountain won't go away totally, but you can look at imaginitive ways to get around the mountain. Listen to your gut. What it is telling you he needs, listen to it and figure out how you can give that to him, even if you are not the one personally doing it all the time. Doing that is what fulfills your job as a wonderful mother. Not just giving up, but making a way for him to still get what he needs despite the circumstances. Obviously you are a great mom, because you are asking questions and looking for answers. And keep looking for help to solve your sleep problem. Once you are able to do that, things will improve for you. If you have any questions I would love to tell you more about my experiences with FMS and kids and the treatments that have helped me, email me. I wish you the best!

2 moms found this helpful
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H.W.

answers from Reno on

Hi Kathleen,

I have a 21 month old and a 7 month old... neither sleep through the night. I get about 3 hrs a night... Although I am healthy, I am in rough shape:)

I have a wonderful contact for you. The Family to Family Center in Carson City is Free (behind Safeway on the North end of town). They have a Two year old play group that meets once a week 11-12 on Wednesdays. The woman who runs the program is Joe, a nurse and Mother of 4. I have met many Mothers there. Also you might meet a Mother close to you that come over once a week for a play date at your house!

This is easy because it is not a park and very clean so you can sit and let him play with the kids... then sing a few songs that you can also sing at home! They have a 1 year old group and many times that is my only outting all week. My daughter loves it.

Please call them! # Family to Family ###-###-####

1 mom found this helpful
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K.S.

answers from Visalia on

Hi I don't know at all what your going through and it must be really hard for you. I don't have FMS and I don't know your whole life situation.But I would like to suggest perhaps preschool or a church function. If transportation or finances ristrict you,Look into some kind of goverment assist.Have friends or family help you look in to this. I hope this is helpful.You sound like a caring mother and only want whats best for your boy. God Bless n take care
K.

1 mom found this helpful
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R.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have SLE Lupus and FMS, and while I have never had young children as I am a instant step mom (full time) I do know about the challenges. The sleep thing is an issue big issue so I can imagin you are tired, however, I would suggest that you find a play date or an activity of some sort that the both of you or at least your child can particpate in almost everyday for a few hours a day so maybe you can try to sneek a nap during the day, and have something to look forward to, and while this might sound kinda mean, you need to think of the positive things, and you need to tell yourself that nothing will hold you back from doing whatever you want to do in your life and push yourself to try and try and try harder a little more every day! Yoga teaches you this and it is great! They told me I would not see age 18 when I was 15 and I am about 10 years past my so called "expiration date" as I have believed that I can do anything and nothing is going to hold me back. You will have some limitations, but try not to focus on them, and focus on what you can do and what you want to do and just as Nike would say "just do it!" Its a lot easier to say than do but trust me in the long run it will pay off. FYI I am after being on meds for 5 years and almost kicking the bucket, I take nothing and other than my personal life being a mess I am happy and just fine!

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N.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi Kathleen,

I recently met someone (mother of 2) who also suffers from FMS, endometriosis, and a sleeping disorder. Unlike you, however, she can sleep for hours...up to 19+ hours. Anyway, almost a year ago, I was introduced to these wonderful, natural products that have been helping people with different ailments. She uses a combination four products that have really helped her. I know that you are seeking advice in regards to your son, but I think that if YOU are feeling better...less or no pain, better rested, and more energized...then you are in better to position to help him. Feel free to contact me if you are interested in at least getting more information. I would really like to try to help.

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T.A.

answers from Visalia on

Dear Kathleen,

My heart goes out to you. I also have been diagnosed with FMS, CFS and other health issues. My 2 children are no longer toddlers, but I do know what you are going through. My son is now 17 and so there are a whole new set of parental expectations. I have 2 grandchildren ages 4 yrs. old and 7 months old. They live in another state, but when I do get to see them, they wear me out!

I was first diagnosed with FMS in 2001 and then again in early 2004. Since 2004 the FMS has not gone away and it is much worse than the first time. I go to sleep and feel like I am sleeping, meaning I don't wake up at night, but I wake up feeling un-refreshed. Earlier on, I didn't trust myself driving, because I wouldn't remember how I got from one side of town to the next. Talk about scary!

I suffered through many doctors who wanted to give me anti-depressants for the FMS. But all they do is cover up the symptoms. I eventually started saying NO to taking them, after a Retinal Detachment, and found vitamins and supplements that have helped me more than any RX Drugs ever did. I finally found a company who's health products are exceptional. I use supplements for my joint pain, antioxidants for cellular health, a supplement for cognitive health and of course a vitamin and mineral complex that is better than any I have ever used.

Have you tried vitamins and supplements to see if they would help? A word of caution, many store brands DO NOT deliver what they claim.

I also found that the harsh chemicals and strong perfumes from my home and personal care products was causing my migraines and the nausea everytime I did any housework. Something else you may want to think about.

I still have limitations, but I can tell you, since I made these few simple changes my life has been much better. I can drive again without worry, I can do some gardening, and function fairly normally with other activities and tasks.

Getting some sunshine helps me alot too. The Vitamin D you get from the sun is the best and a great boost to your emotional health.

Best wishes to you and your family,

T. Avila

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