Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) - Springfield,IL

I remember when my son was younger his doctor would mention ODD but not in a he has this kind of way but, he may, we will see. The problem he saw was autism spectrum can come with a temper and defiance just because he isn't understanding what you are asking of him. He is 16 now and it is quite clear he does not have ODD.

Since my son never had it I can't say much about it but in the off chance it works, very clearly explaining transitions, why he needs to _____, if he understands the why, perhaps he won't push back so much.

First, join the ODD support group on Facebook. It's very active and full of first-hand insights.

We've been dealing with ODD for many years. The only words I can think to describe it would likely get me banned here for profanity. Let's just say it's awful. We have had some success, though, with medications like Risperdal and Abilify. Our son went on Risperdal for an eating disorder and it eliminated the ODD. He had a bad reaction to it, though, and had to switch to Abilify. Currently, the dosage isn't quite right and the ODD is back. Hoping to get that fixed when we get in with the psychiatrist next month.

Basically, your child just wants to irritate you, teachers or anyone else targeted. People with it will deliberately cause chaos and are stubborn to the 1,000,000th degree. Our son has ADHD-combined type, too, and I can say this combination makes life very, very difficult. It can be hard to tell where one condition ends and the other begins. I've had to deal with him refusing to go to school (and being 100 lbs., too heavy for me to haul to the car), objects thrown at my head for crazy requests like "Hey, it's time to do homework," having to lock myself, daughter and dog in our master bedroom to escape him.

I wish I had words of hope for you, but instead I just send hugs. You're not alone.

It sounds like a hard thing to digest and figure out. I wish you well - it's a lot as a parent, I'm sure.

I don't have a child with ODD but when we went through training as parents for a child with Autism (misdiagnosed in the end) we attended seminars where we actively participated in role play etc. on weekends. Kind of training in what Julie mentions below - how to transition kids, how to figure out what sets them off, etc. I have no idea if that's similar to ODD - but I felt like I had some tools to work with. I also was part of a group of parents who met once a week for an afternoon. it was helpful to hear what was working for them and ecounraging.

We learned to anticipate problems before they happened. I have found it really useful in parenting my other kids too. When times got hard, it was that little group that got me through. So if you can find support - online, or in a group - you may find it helpful :)

My middle son, 11, is in the process of a complete evaluation. Although the testing isn't complete, his Conner's ratings indicated ADHD and ODD. FWIW, his intelligence testing is coming back significantly above average as well so he's bored in school, has trouble focusing, and feels no need to fall in line and comply with expectations that he sit still and do school work, do homework, or study. It's great (not)! On the plus side, he is very charming and engaging, has high self-esteem, works hard in sports and music, has lots of friends, is very funny and manages to have a good time for himself wherever he is.

When the eval is complete, we'll be taking the results to a doctor in his pediatrician's office who is well versed on ADHD medication and to school to figure out a game plan for the rest of the year (despite his high aptitude, he's getting Cs and Ds due to not doing the work). Another step will be family therapy so that my (estranged) husband and I learn to use the ODD tendencies to help our son do what he needs to do...there apparently are some "mind game" types of tricks and approaches to use that can exploit their need to be contrary to actually get them to do what they need to do, and ways to disengage and not get locked into a battle of wills. It will be interesting to see this play out because I'm pretty sure my husband has a bit of an ODD streak as well so I don't know if he'll be able to overcome his own tendency to reject "expert" help enough to buy in a try these new approaches.

I haven't dived too deeply into the ODD pool yet but I did find it encouraging that there can be positive outcomes when diagnosed in childhood and treated with behavioral therapy. I'm hopeful that with time and help, he'll be able to overcome his "need" to fight everyone on everything and can find other ways to scratch that itch in his brain that finds a fight so satisfying.

Hello, I don't have a child with ODD or ADHD, so I can't speak directly to the healing aspect, I did however recently watch a program by Dr, Amen, who is known for brain scans.. What he mentioned in the program is that therapists/doctors constantly will group symptoms (he calls it cluster symptoms) together and then treat everyone with the same meds or protocol..when in fact, two people can suffer from a specific issue and yet, their brains are wired VERY differently and thus, while will person might benefit from the standard prescribed regime, someone whose brain is different will not.. (I may not be explaining this as well as Dr., Amen) but you if you look on the net, there is a ton of info by him on there which speaks to the issue of ADHD and ODD.. check him out, and while a brain scan may not be where it's at, he still discusses treatments.. Dr. Amen suggests that in this day and age, how can we effectively treat someone with an emotional/mental dilemmas without looking at the makeup of that individuals brain..
anyway, that sounded interested to me, especially as a person whose mother was depressed and anxious.. looking back now, I realize that the protocol they gave to her, of which, one item was valium... I realize now that that may have worsened her problems..
anyway, check him out, see if it's of any use...
I wish you all the best

one of my friends has a son with this, and the ADHD too. he's a handful. he's also charming and wonderful and i adore him.
homeschooling him was a big challenge. he also has some learning disorders (can't remember the letters) and now at 18 still struggles with reading, only doing so when it's super-important to him (like how-to manuals.)
you're right about the consistency and calmness. i know my friend had days of despair, and still feels like a failure because he doesn't and can't get a GED (but that's not related to the ODD, don't mean to scare you!)
he IS a mechanical prodigy. and that's the tack his life has taken- an apprentice to a great mechanic, and working on putting together a career working on monster trucks and competitive tractors and so forth. he'll probably do it too. one of the great characteristics of an ODD kid (although not so much for his parents) is persistence and dedication.
counseling would be a great idea.
my guess is that it'll be an extreme version of what most parents SHOULD be doing ie finding his strengths and supporting them, while helping him use tools to overcome his deficiencies. the defiance, of course, will make it tougher on everyone, but YOU should be acquiring the tools as you go to make it happen.
again, this isn't personal experience. i hope you get the help and support you need to make this a good journey with your young fellow. i'm betting there will be big and surprising compensatory joys.
khairete
S.

I've often suspected my sister is ODD.
She's been this way since long before they had a name for it.
I could look out on a nice sunny day and say "The sky is a lovely shade of blue today" and she'll say "No, it's not".
No matter what you say, she'll pull in an opposite direction - and it was very hard on my Mom raising her and for me growing up with her.
There are support groups now - and that should be a great resource for you.
Family counseling is a great idea.

I love JB's answer, very well-rounded advice. I definitely think finding support somewhere is crucial. And I think you're awesome for considering counseling and striving toward consistency. Your interest in learning and advocating for your son will no doubt be the key in helping him, he's a lucky little guy.

My advice is to listen to what everyone says, but listen most to your gut. The more information you gather, the more you'll begin to discern what makes sense to you- and then having a doctor you trust to help you sort through options will feel more beneficial, not like you're just throwing everything against the wall to see what sticks.

And not knocking people like Dr. Amen at all, I'm sure he has a great and interesting perspective. I do know that for things like ADHD, ODD, conduct disorder, learning disorders, etc., brain scanning is in its infancy at best. There is very little evidence or research done that supports the findings there. It may turn out to be a major key and huge help, it's just early. So listen to those things if you like, but give all of the other info out there just as much weight. Again, listen to your gut.

Good luck and let us know how it goes!!

I agree with NewName 2013. It is very difficult on the family. I was resistant to seeking support...not sure why, guess I thought I could manage it. You need a large support group. I'm not on Facebook but in one of the responses someone mentioned that there was a big support group on there. Gather support!! You definitely need the family counseling and a great psychologist. You need respite breaks when you are emotionally drained. Grace and blessings....

In my opinion, it' REALLY HELPS when the parents can come together and be a force of one. When the parents can't agree on how to handle situations, the smart little guy will take over. It's gonna get tough, but you will tackle it.

And if you have other siblings, address the dynamic there as well. Might need more counseling.

I don't have much experience with ODD.

But I want to second the idea of researching Dr. Amen.
He really breaks down the info so well.

My husband has ODD and was diagnosed when he was young, (he is 31 now). If you aren't well educated on it, then it can be very frustrating to deal with. I advise to educate yourself on ODD and ways to deal/cope with it. Counseling is a fantastic idea, though I've found, some with ODD find counseling very annoying, and useless leaving it to the person's loved ones to know how to deal with it. So just be cautious of every possible outcome.

Unfortunately my husbands parents gave up on him because they did not want to learn how to help their son and understand how to work with him... he was put into a foster home for big time periods of his life due to this.. When times get hard, please just walk away for a minute take a deep breath and re-group yourself before approaching any situation. People with ODD find it almost pleasurable to annoy others around them, they like to continuously do things that they aren't supposed to, to almost get a rise or reaction out of surrounding people.

I care for people with developmental disabilities for a living ranging from BiPolar disorder, cerebral palsy, down syndrome, to ADHD, ODD, Blind, Mute, and Autism.

Remember, patience is key!!!