My family moved to my town in December. This is my 7 year olds first full school year here, he is in 2nd grade. It's very rural here so neighbors are far and few so I've been encouraging him to try to make friends. He is shy and very introverted. The problem is that the boys in his class that he's talking to all play violent video games. My son has no interest in that, thank God. He has racing games which he loves. So my question is, is this the norm for 7 and 8 year old boys? He told me today they were talking about a game where you shoot peoples heads off. Aren't these kids way too young for that?
Sorry, I should say he does not want to play these games. I mentioned inviting one of the boys over sometime and my son brought up the violent game thing.
The parents allow them to, play, boys uisually love the shoot em up blow em up games, my boys did and they are normal men. J.
Nope not normal. yeah they are too young. But this is what happens when kids see an ad on TV for a video game and they have parents that don't game so they don't know about games, They don't pay attention to ratings etc. Kid asked for it they buy it.
It also happens with grandparents as well. little timmy want's call of duty 3 , gramma doesn't know what that is, but she goes and gets it for him anyway cause he said he wanted it. Too many parents aren't educated about video games. and too many sales people are too invested in the sale to take the time to educate the parent or grandparent about the game.
Just a thought - are these boys really playing these games or are they just "talking big"? We don't have TV in our house, but my daughter can talk about most everything that's on TV because all the other kids talk about it. I would probe to see if your son is using these boys' talk as an excuse because he's not, so far, making friends and he's uncomfortable and coming up with reasons why he's not.
I don't know where I stand on it, to be honest. If you've taught your children good moral values and the game is the kind where you're going after the bad guy...it can be okay.
However, the problem is these kids are playing these games unsupervised with no moral compass already instilled to know when violence is appropriate (rarely, almost never) and when it isn't (almost always.)
My six year old girl is a very gentle, caring, well behaved child, who is not violent at all...but she's been exposed to games like Zelda (yes, you are slashing up mosters, bad guys, etc)...James Bond (yes, you are shooting the bad guys)...and I don't think it's an issue at all. LIke I said, the issue stems from what the parents are teaching they're children NEXT to the games.
However, I wouldn't want my child playing games described as "shooting people's heads off" unsupervised, if at all, and if YOU are against it, then by all means DO NOT GIVE IN!!!! If you have a standard, good for you, and stick to it. I am mega strict on a ton of stuff and I don't care who feels differently!
Not normal! We don't allow violent video games in our house! We do Wii Sports and Mario Kart and that's it for now.
I hope your son finds a good friend with common interests!
I agree they are too young. Mine is 8 and he has friends that play them. Don't get me wrong, my son LOVES video games, but he'll just decline or suggest something else if he's at someone's house & they ask him.
there too young. I have a grandson who is 11. His father died when he was 7. His other grandmother saved the video games for my grandson. She is letting him play them. The problem is he is 11 and these are games like grand theft auto etc. M games. I won't let him play that stuff at our house. we let him play a couple t games other than that its only E games.
Neither one of my boys played video games of any kind at that point. When they had friends over they were out in the backyard playing bball, kicking around in the dirt, climbing trees.....
However, if they went to another boy's house who DID have video games (violent or not) it didn't bother me that much. At 7, they still wanted to go 'do stuff'.
He'll find a match, don't worry!
:)
Most kids play these games b/c their dads play these games. It's very hard. We have to literally lock the games up and hide the controllers, otherwise my 5 year old will sneak, turn the volume off and play them. We only allow him to play cartoony type games. I teach boys that age 7-9 and the majority of them play rated M games.
We recently went to a family reunion where some of my DH's young cousins (around 7 and 8) instantly came up to talk to him (a little odd since we really didn't know them) because they heard he was a "gamer".
DH was disgusted by the fact that some of their favorite games were not at all what they should be playing.
He was at a loss for words as they told him how they just "loved killing people".
And DH is the more liberal parent in our house when it comes to that kind of stuff.
It may be the norm-but it certainly shouldn't be.
Just another area where parents have taken the hands off approach.
It is very sad, IMO.
Well, I don't know how normal it is, but in my opinion, it seems to be becoming the "norm".
I'm very surprised at the amount of time little kids are allowed to play video games and even more surprised that the violent ones don't phase them or their parents.
There are fun games for kids and I don't think video games are bad in and of themselves. But, I've known little kids that really do get addicted. Fortunately, my kids could take video games or leave them. I didn't have to get on them about playing too much.
My son, who just turned 16, babysits kids during the summer and even he is surprised at how the little ones will bug and nag and whine to play games. That's all they want to do all day. Stay inside in a dark house staring at a TV screen. My son doesn't let them. He takes them to the park, riding bikes, to the school to play basketball. A little boy had such a fit yesterday that my son told him if he didn't stop, he was going to throw his x-box so far out the window that he'd never find it.
My son told the dad when he got home from work exactly what he'd said. They don't want him doing it all day long during the week. He acts like he's going to die if he can't play video games.
His parents know it. They wish they'd never let him get that engrossed in the first place.
Moderation is hard to teach AFTER the fact.
I think you should invite the other boys over. Little kids who play too much video games or have been exposed to violent ones aren't necessarily bad kids. Or even violent.
Let them play on your turf and have fun doing other things.
Best wishes.
If it makes you feel any better, I do not allow my sons to play those violent video games and they are 13 and 17. I teach high school and I see the effect of those games on a daily basis. It's not pretty.
Invite those boys over. If they bring the violent games with them, politely take them away until the child leaves. A simple, "We don't play those games in this house. How about [fill in the blank]?" If they balk or get obnoxious, take them home and don't have them over any more. I'm sad to say, my youngest has several friends who won't play over because we're not violent enough. And, I only very rarely send my son to these boys' homes because of what they're allowed to play. You would think my boys would be upset--and maybe they are--but to my face they tell me they understand why I do what I do. Who knows? They never complain about it.
In the end, it doesn't matter what "the norm" is for 7-8 year old boys. If you're not ok with it, then stick to your guns and don't be ok with it. "Everybody does it" continues to be the worst reason under the sun to do something.
On a side note, this is a plug for letting your young introvert be an introvert. I've found that pushing the "friend" thing usually doesn't work so well. If you son is happy with his own company, I wouldn't stress it. My youngest is also very self-contained at home and I never heard of any particular friends. I had the privilege of going to his school a few times unexpectedly and the kid couldn't walk down the hall without someone stopping him to say hi and exchange a few words. I was that shy, introverted kid to my mother's very outgoing, "I must have lots of friends" and she never understood that I was much happier by myself. That's not to say I didn't have friends, I did. But, it was only a few. That was ok for me. I take a long time to make a friend, but when I do, it's for a very long time.
Good luck, dear mama, and welcome to your new town!
I guess it depends on how violent they are. My kids (daughter is 8, son is 6) have played Super Smash Brothers on the Wii and I had no problem with it. They also play Legend of Zelda on the GameCube and I also have no problem with that--it is swordfighting and going after the bad guys but I still consider it pretty innocent. But the type you are talking about, where they are shooting people's heads off--I would never let my kids play those games. There are some out there that are so graphically violent that they are rated Mature for a reason. It's sad that these parents don't seem to care; it would definitely bother me, though. Good for your son for not wanting to play them!
Are there other things they can do together? Go bike riding or scooter riding, throw a ball around together, play a game of baseball or something else that doesn't involve video games? It might be worth a try for your son to invite them over and try to get them doing something besides play video games; or maybe they could go to a park to play. Good luck; I hope your son is able to find friends soon!
Unfortunately, I think it probably is fairly common. Not at our house... but yes I see/hear about kids that young playing combat video games frequently. My son didn't play any of that stuff until he was 12. At 7? No way would he have been allowed. But do others? Well... I'm afraid so. :(
I also think there is probably a correlation between the age at which it is allowed by the parents and a) the age of the dad in the household and whether HE is "into" such games (some are, some have ZERO interest); and b) if there are older siblings in the house vs. the kid BEING the oldest child.
Sorry to say, but our friend has a son, just turned 6, who has played every violent game available on X-Box. We don't allow any video games in house (even for the 16 and 18 year olds) but they manage to find ways to play them anyway.
Good for you for not having it in your house! My philosophy is, yeah, they'll probably encounter (fill in the behavior/activity here) somewhere, but at least they'll have one environment without it!
Yes, the kids are too young for those games....however, the problem isn't with the kids - it's with their parents....they are either:
a - wanting to be the kids friends instead of their parents
b - keeping their kids busy with violent games so they can get on the computer and do their own thing...instead of being parents..
If the games are rated M or PG13 - then yeah - too young for those games...matter of whether or not you want to stand your ground!! :)
GO MAMA!!!
i think that is way to young to be playing violent games and the parents shouldnt be giving them to their kids.
