Opening Birthday Presents

Updated on October 18, 2011
S.B. asks from Encino, CA
13 answers

Hi Moms -
My son's third birthday party was yesterday. By the time it ended, we were all to worn out to open presents. My son doesn't even really get the concept of presents yet - he seems unaware that he has a pile to open. So my question is this - for your three year old, did you open all the presents at once? Or did you space it out over time (i.e., a couple of presents a week)?
Thanks!

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So What Happened?

Thanks, all! I think there was some misunderstanding, however - the question is not about whether or not to open presents at the party (the party is over, and we didn't open them during the party - none of the three year old's whose parties we've been to in our community open the presents at the party, so we weren't out of the norm in not doing it at our party). The question more is about do you lay all the gifts on him at once, or over time? Other than the late thank you notes - which I agree can be an issue - is there a reason not to space them out? Thanks!

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K.S.

answers from Miami on

I do not open presents at parties. Some kids cannot bring as nice as others. So its best to wait to afterword and make a list of what you get. The party is about celebrating a birthday not a who's who of gifts. As for a three year old I'd let him open one and play withit till he was bored then let him open another

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

You'll need to open everyone's gifts that came to the party. Because he didn't open the gifts in front of them and say thank you face to face they'll need some sort of notice of the gift they brought. If I went to a party and they did not open gifts I would wonder if he opened it, if he liked it, what he did with it, did he play with it...? Until I heard from someone he did. That tiny bit if acknowledgement is important. Had he opened the gifts not from you at the party and they were oohed and ahhed over then he could wait until Christmas to open yours.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Unless I got her something that I am super excited about I have her open the gifts from other family members and friends first and now. We have family that will ask and so I don't want to tell them that she hasn't gotten the present yet. Leave my gifts for last. If its clothes or shoes, they will just magically appear in the dresser. If its something else, it will either just magically appear one day, or I save it for Christmas.

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M.J.

answers from Minneapolis on

I am from a inter-cultural marriage. In my husband and his family and friends firmly believe that you do NOT open presents in front of guests. To them its rude because you would be comparing gifts, and no one wants to feel they gave less than the other. Also kids are, well kids. They dont mind saying things like "OH COOL" or "THIS IS DUMB" so its better to do it at home in privacy. I like this idea as well, however my family is typical American family and they love to watch my kids open gifts in front of them. So at parties I generally tell my family to come the next day if they dont mind, for present opening, and if that doesnt work I take them off to a different room and let my kids open that gift only for them. Seems to work just fine. If you have normal party goers they generally give a card with their names, and you are able to then open the gift and send a thank you. In my case with my Indian family they will NOT like a thank you card, and they very rarely put there names on there gifts. Which is ok too but still I like to know where its coming from!! I let mine open the majority, until they seem bored, then I dont want them missing something or just throwing them around. So then I hold off till later that day, or the next.

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K.F.

answers from Cleveland on

My 3 year old wouldn't let me get away with that! He is big on opening presents, so we definitely open them at the party. I wish we didn't have to, but I think most people think it's rude not to and the last thing I want to do is offend my guests. I have never been to a party where they haven't opened presents there, but personally I could care less when I'm at a birthday party.

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R.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

We opened birthday presents a few a night when we were all home and in good moods, and then wrote the thank yous as we opened them with the kids drawing a picture or coloring in a picture or writing their name. A few times we took pictures of the birthday child with each present and printed the pictures for the card and had the child sign the picture as a card. Spacing it out made the celebration last a little longer, and kept the overwhelm to a minimum.

Enjoy the process. Good luck finding places for the new stuff.

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M.K.

answers from Dallas on

I personally feel like it's important to open gifts at the party. I think the present givers like to see the child open the present so they can see their reaction (which is almost always joyful). To put a bunch of unopened gifts in a big bag to take home just seems rude to me.

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B.B.

answers from San Antonio on

We have never opened the gifts at the party itself. Usually the kids are too busy playing and running around. Just more fun to let them play. We usually have the parties between 11-2 and then open the gifts up that afternoon after the kids have napped (my son is 3 1/2, my daughter will be 2 in 2 weeks :)). That way I can still get thank-you's out in a timely manner. I am sure as they get older, it will change, but it has worked for us. Mine also tend to get overwhelmed with too many toys, so usually the night of the party (or Christmas night, whenever the kids have a lot of gifts) I will take some and put them up in a bin out in the garage. Then as they get bored with things I will take some out.

ETA: We have tried opening the gifts up at the party, but it was more for the parents than the kids. The other kids were running around and playing on the playscape and bounce house, my son (at his 3rd birthday party) just wanted to be playing with his friends, so getting him to open them was a nightmare.

L.A.

answers from Austin on

I do special events and I tell parents to let the party lead the way on the gift opening. If the kids are having a blast.. let them play.. If things seem like they are slowing down do the gifts.. This is the only time this group of kids will probably all be together, so why stop the fun, to have to sit down and watch presents being opened for a long time.

The reason you child may need to open the gifts now is so that you all can send out the Thank you Notes this week.

C.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

I open them for her while she is sleeping off the party... weed out the ones I want to return or donate to the local Upward Bound house. Then do a little mild re-wrap on the ones we're keeping and let her open those. We have a small place and I am very picky about the types of toys and materials I want in my home. It works out better that way & she is turning 4 this year and still doesn't totally get the whole present thing. We don't emphasize it. We focus on the fun of having all your friends at your party and never mention the presents they will bring.

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S.D.

answers from Dallas on

I always open gifts at the party and I include the children. I let the gift giver come sit up front with my child and help open the present and I have a couple of "present putter-together-ers" to open up and put the gifts together so all of the children can play them. I also take a picture of the gift giver, my son and the gift to send in the thank you card. This system works really well and flows really nicely!

T.K.

answers from Dallas on

Over a period of time. I put most in the trunk and only brought a few in the house. Then, every once in a while when he was really good or really bored, I'd pull out another one.

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K.L.

answers from Savannah on

I don't think I have ever went to a birthday party for that age where the presents weren't opened in front of the guests. I would recommend opening them all in the next few days (since you are wanting to spread them out). You will still need to write your thank you notes, and if you spread the gifts out over weeks, the notes will be very late. Since your son doesn't care for opening the gifts, ypou can always open all of the gifts yourself and then give him the gifts a few at a time over whatever time period you want to. That seems like the best of both worlds!

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