Online and Virtual Schools?

Online, or virtual, schools, saved my daughter's education, and our sanity. And her self-esteem.

Due to multiple medical conditions, public school was a complete failure. Her diagnoses are rare, and the school staff refused to cooperate with the doctors.

When she first started in the online school, the student population consisted mostly of kids with disabilities, kids who were recovering from surgery, kids who lived in remote areas, kids whose parents shared custody but who lived in different school districts, and elite athletes who traveled for competitions and who spent hours practicing their sport.

My daughter took only half-course loads, so high school took her almost 7 years. By her fifth year, we noticed that the student population had changed. There were more and more kids who were in the online school due to bullying, rejection, stress and other social and emotional problems. At the online school, they were met with encouragement, friendship and support. My daughter was given a 504 plan, and the chance to succeed.

I think there are several things you don't run away from, like your family, a job you've consciously committed to, or a team, and education. But I don't think that choosing an online school over public school, or private over public, or religious over secular, or the other way around, is quitting or running away. If your daughter wanted to drop out, that would not be acceptable. That would be running away. She's coming up with a valid plan to further her education in a very mature way. I don't think that's running away. I think that's making a better plan.

Make sure that both she and you understand that online schools require participation, involvement, and you don't just sit and watch videos. You'll have to be willing to check in with the school, as most good online schools want parent involvement.

I encourage you to let her pursue this. It sounds like she needs some comfort and security right now, and public schools can be anything but.

hm. i have two thoughts about this.
the first is about online and virtual schools in general. i do love that there are more options (more options tends to be a Very Good Thing most of the time) and online schooling fills a needed niche. that being said, i'm pretty wary of the surge in popularity of THIS particular solution. to me it's the worst of both worlds- the iron-fisted control (and often crappy syllabi) of public school in an isolated environment. while homeschoolers often use online support, there's a focus (at least among good homeschooling parents) on group activities, co-ops and making sure kids have lots of time with other kids. if a teenager is locked into a boxed curriculum and has to spend 6 hours a day at a computer screen, there's no freedom for innovative learning, and no time spent with other kids.
so the fact that your daughter wants to do online school in order to avoid making contacts and developing friendships is a bit worrisome. kids shouldn't be forced to beard the wolfpacks, but they DO need to learn how to navigate the waters of social interaction. so if you take this route, you'll have to be vigilant in ensuring that she does outside activities through church or volunteer organizations or some other brilliant outlet.
however, i'm very impressed with your daughter's take-charge attitude about it all. she's showing initiative and creativity in the face of a very disruptive period of her life, and i think that needs to be considered and applauded.
if this enterprising young woman were mine i think i'd go along with her thoughtful plan, but i'd discuss with her the necessity of not withdrawing from the outside world based on a bad experience at the school, and ask HER how she thinks you should both proceed as far as her human contact.
it may not be an option right now, but if you do go ahead with online school, keep your minds open to the possibility of simply homeschooling. the structure of an online academy is helpful at first, but if it starts to get stifling, don't feel as if you're stuck with it. a kid this motivated is a prime homeschooling candidate.
khairete
S.

You might want to check out K12 - they have public school options in just about every state (around here it's called CAVA, but where you are it's probably NYVA or something). Basically, it's a public school curriculum that she can do at home. It's quite rigorous, and they do have online classroom stuff where she can go and participate in lectures online - for instance, if she's taking Geometry, there will be an online lecture several times per week where she can log on and listen to the teacher, ask questions, see what the teacher is writing on the online blackboard, etc. That's in addition to the work she will be doing on her own (and the online lectures are optional, but my kids found them helpful). Anyhow, just throwing it out there as an option.

We homeschool using Oak Meadow (they also have a high school option, but I don't think it's online) and have been very happy with that. There are so many great options that I'm sure there is one that your daughter would enjoy. There's no need for school to be so miserable!

I don't know anything about those online schools; the only thing I want to offer is that if your daughter is researching these schools, has made a power point, and is planning to get a part-time job to pay for it, she is not "running away," but instead she is very competently managing her life in order to get something she wants. She is actually illustrating the skills and competency that we want our children to get from their education.

So in this case, if your daughter can make it work, I think you should let her give it a try. She sounds like a very resourceful young woman. But I think you should make sure she follows through with the job. They learn a lot from having a job.

Changing schools at her point in high school can be extremely difficult. I did it near the end of 10th grade. I felt very isolated. I eventually made some good friends, but I still felt a sense of isolation that I didn't have before we moved. I still felt like an outsider.

Given that your daughter changed schools even further along than I did, AND, more importantly, that she has endured your messy divorce (?) I would suggest counseling for her. Someone who is neutral and has no vested position in her feelings towards you or her her dad or the move/change of schools. She can vent about what she hates, how she feels, etc... with no fear of recrimination or concern that she is hurting you.

Maybe online school wouldn't be the worst thing for her. But it also isn't likely the best thing, either. She needs to feel connected.. and right now she doesn't. Online school won't give her that. I know. My kids did virtual online public school 2 years ago, and they both disliked it. My son (who was 13 at the time) hated it specifically because it took away daily interaction with live people. It truly is not the same online.

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Wanted to add... you may or may not have considered it, but she has no one to talk to. Truly. Whether you had a choice in the matter or not, it sounds as if she were effectively yanked from her confidants/friends (her support network outside of the family) at a time when she needs it most. She cannot be honest with you regarding her feelings b/c she has YOUR feelings to consider and having once been a teen, I can say with confidence that she is just going to bury her own feelings rather than tell you how much this hurt her. She's clinging to all she has left (family) and to be honest means hurting them... she isn't going to endanger that relationship. OR in the alternative, she is going to act out and cut you all off in anger. Doesn't sound like she went that way.... so you can probably bet she won't be honest with you to protect your feelings. She's seen what you've been through with your divorce already. She isn't going to add to that by airing her own hurt feelings.

We have just decided to pull my son out of traditional high school. He is gay and very bright. The bullying was never addressed or dealt with and in the last meeting with the principal, it was clear that the principal was part of the problem. In addition to the bullying, the school refused to let my son accelerate in classes or to take class concurrently at the community college. This was devastating to him as the worst bullying happens in the classes that are not honors/AP. They just did not care.
So, next year he is taking half of his course load at a community college and half at an online high school. After a year we will evaluate and see what happens next.
My advice to you is that you must research these schools very carefully. I have been teaching online for over 20 years. Ask questions about how much one-on-one teacher student interaction there is. Run as fast as you can from any program that relies on automated answers and minimal teaching interactions. Such programs are horrid and are simply money-makers for educational publishing companies. Also look into community college options. Your daughter should be old enough to begin taking classes there as well.
I wish you very good luck. I know this is a big change.

I think it's wonderful that your daughter is actually having a conversation with you about her issues. Some teens would just shut down and ditch school all together. Good luck!

She's not running away from a problem. She's solving the problem, and doing it very maturely. She researched it, considered the complications and addressed them with solutions, and she presented it in an organized and reasoned manner. My daughter is in public school and it's hard - she wants to keep going, but she has very few friends and describes how badly behaved a lot of the kids are. If she presented this to me, I would do it in a heartbeat. And our state has several tuition free on line schools. Don't keep her in a bad situation just because you think you should to teach a lesson. This decision was a fantastic lesson in and of itself.

Here in Northern California, there is an option called Independent Study. It's through the public school district. If you'd like to go and look at the web site for the one here in Auburn, Ca., the web address is http://www.maiduonline.org/
If your daughter seems interested in this option, you could call whatever school district you're in and see if they offer this. That way she could still have some interaction with other teens, but not have to deal with them every day. The field trips for Maidu sound fun, hopefully NY will have something like that. Here in California, it's free to attend. Good Luck!

Three cheers for Suz -- a cheer for the note of caution, a cheer for the applause for your daughter's resourcefulness, and a cheer for the solution she proposes.

Really, my big piece of advice is to do as she advises. That's your solution right there.

But, I think it's worth mentioning that IF you're still considering staying, public schools do have good resources, though they're never "advertised." A school counselor. A social worker. A guidance counselor. That one wonderful teacher who gets where she's coming from and helps her find her "tribe." Public high schools and jr. highs are these big, unwelcoming bureaucracies from hell, until you find that one wonderful person, who can unravel the whole mess. And that's really the message you want to impart. Not tough it out in a miserable situation and ignore your feelings, but, in the middle of a miserable situation, be resourceful, ask for help, make it better.

I still really like Suz's advice, though.

www.k12.com is a good one also.

She's not happy at public school. If you can't send her back to where she grew up, with her life long friends, then please consider doing home schooling so she won't have to deal with the people at this school. She's not happy.

Otherwise make ex part of this and send her back to her original school. If he's still living in the old neighborhood and will pay for it. I think she's old enough to make up her own mind. She's actually old enough to drop out too.

Find out if she can take some online college courses too. That will give her challenges and get them out of the way for her school in a year or two.

You got some great advice so far and all I can add is that before you pay for online schooling, check with the school district to see if they offer online courses. Our school district has something called VLACS and it's free to anyone in the public school system. All of the classes count toward high school credit and I've known a few kids who would have not graduated if not for this option. Having moved across the country as a sophomore myself, I can empathize with your daughter. Being so far from everything and everyone you know is SO hard and IMO I think she should try and stick it out and supplement with online courses to keep her grades up. But going to all online is a better option than her quitting altogether. Good luck, I hope things start looking up for all of you.

I agree very much with Rosebud and Suz T.

Letting my oldest son (who was a 10th grader at the time) homeschool for the rest of high school was the BEST decision I ever made regarding his schooling.

His first year (10th grade) he did all online classes (FLVS - Florida Virtual School).

For 11th and 12th grades we did a more eclectic approach and he racked up tons of performing arts hours at our local theater. I converted those hours to credits, put it on his transcript along with other subjects he studied and with his SAT scores his transcript was sufficient to get him entry into the college of his choice (state school though he did not end up going - long story).

So . . . like Suz T. I am glad for the virtual school option. It's especially nice for families transitioning into homeschooling. But it's not the end-all be-all.

I would join a local homeschool support group in your area and just let it soak in. Also, I think NY is a strict state when it comes to homeschooling so make sure to review the legal requirements.

Also, try to look into something called "dual enrollment." My younger son is doing it next year and it's a process where he will get college credits at our local community college which also count for high school credits.

I would seriously consider your daughter's request and help her round out all the details. I moved in high school and it was horrible. I would have thrived on homeschooling and dual enrollment.

Good luck.

Changing schools in your high school years is extremely difficult.
I know, I had to do it. I'm very outgoing, fairly confident & it was still difficult & often times isolating.
These kids had gone to school together their entire lives since grade school.
Who are my best friends that I still keep in touch with today? The kids from my previous high school.
So I would see if you can swing letting her go back to her old school & if that's not possible then let her take online courses.
Be sure they are accredited, viable & college accepted!