One Stepmom in the Group Is Nasty to Her Stepson, Should I Say Something?

Sorry, you need to call CPS and let them handle it. Or stay out of it. You do NOT confront her. She is NOT the step mother, she's the girlfriend. If she is verbally abusing him in a public forum? Then the staff at the pool should call CPS and let them handle it.

If you believe he's better off where he is? Then you really aren't concerned.

If this child is her fiances son then he's not a step child and she's not a step mom.
If the kids dad is supportive of his girlfriend emotionally abusing his son then it's not looking good for the kid.
Where is the kids biological mom and why isn't she involved in protecting her kid from her exes girlfriend(s)?

Continue to shut tiger girlfriend mom up by saying nice things about the child only if you think she's not taking it out on the kid because you opened your mouth.
If you can say something to child protective services perhaps they can do some well child check ups for him.
If 'the other mothers' who want you to tell her to cool it want something said then maybe they should do the saying instead of doing nothing and wanting you to do it for them and they can talk to CPS too.
If CPS checks up and criticizes her often enough perhaps she'll retreat right out of this kids life.

Additional:
If you can't or won't get CPS involved, the kids father doesn't care what his girlfriend does and his biological mom (or other relatives) won't do anything for him then I guess you need to make your peace with this kid having a miserable childhood and hope he manages to thrive in spite of his upbringing.
He'll grow up thinking that this is normal and then most likely repeat with his kids what he is experiencing now.
He probably won't grow up to be a mass murderer.
On a side note - your user name is really hard to take seriously.

Since you have a track record of deleting your prior posts I'll just take care of that now.
You are welcome.

Original post:
"One stepmom in the group is nasty to her stepson, should I say something?"

"She comes to the pool a lot.Our kids are in sporting events together. She is a tiger mother and her fiancé supports her parenting stance , this is how he was raised too. She got banned from the library where I work and also from coming to little league games for exploding and swearing because of how her stepson was playing and is close to getting banned from the pool.

I try to say something positive to the kid each time I see him because he is hilarious and always helping with his little brother . She blames him for stuff her younger son does and is always berating him and has made him cry for being too nervous and other non issues like getting all A pluses and one A minuses. I always try and say something nice about him and she shuts up for the rest of the day.

Should I do more? The other mother's want me to tell her to cool it, because she ruins the vibe. She has a history of completely disappearing and cutting off all contact if you criticize her or if she perceives you did."

Original SWH:
"I don't want to deal with cps in my area. I get their are nice cps people out there, but they are the most incompetent bunch of people and he would be better off where he is. I hate kids getting yelled at for no reason."

What good do you think saying something would actually do? If what you say is true she simply won't come around anymore. I guess that would be nice for you but do nothing for this poor kid, except remove him from a group of adults that are actually kind to him.
Also why do the other mothers want YOU to say something, are you like their queen bee? Seems very odd to me. And really immature.

I think you're doing all you can, which is to say something nice to the kid.

If she's been banned from the library and the games, and the pool management is about to do the same, there's absolutely nothing you can say that will be different from what the management of various agencies and facilities has said. The only plus I see in your post is that she tends to disappear and cut off all contact - that would be delightful, it seems to me. However, if it were me, I'd be reluctant to be the messenger of the whole group's disdain. I'd be more likely to pack up my kid and move to another area if she started swearing at someone or berating him, saying something like "Mrs. Jones needs to talk privately to Johnny, so we're going to let them do that without an audience." If she questions you, you can say "My kids don't need to hear that kind of talk." You're not telling her not to do it, just saying you won't subject your kids to it. I have a friend who packs up her kids at a friend's house whenever the grandparents start their nasty ranting - a simple "We've got to be going" does it.

why are the other mothers making you the mouthpiece? tell them if they want the vibe changed to get off their duffs and do something themselves.

it's nice that you say something pleasant to the boy. i'd keep that up.

i gather the tiger stepmom hasn't asked you for your input. so why do you think foisting it upon her will help? if she decided your parenting needed some polish from her vast store of wisdom, would you be grateful and implement it?

the library and little league will take care of banning her if she's being overtly abusive. if you see her doing something illegal, by all means, report her.

but you butting into her parenting will almost certainly backfire and make things worse for the kid.

khairete
S.

ETA

Poor kid! And how sweet of you to make nice comments to him. He probably desperately needs them. Are your kids friends with him? If so, you can invite him over for lunch or something. I don't know, just a thought.

As others have said, I don't get why everyone wants you to say something. I would keep my mouth shut.

Where are the child's parents?
I would advise you to talk to the counselors at his school and arrange a meeting with the bio parents and express your concerns to them.

I agree you can’t really say anything but in addition to being really nice to the kid, I’d try to ask questions of the stepmom and father in conversation like “so, you were a straight A+ student, huh? I wasn’t so give the kids a break on their grades when I know they’re trying.”. Same with sports “so, you must have played college sports. Division 1?”. I’m thinking they likely weren’t perfect student athletes either so maybe highlighting their hypocrisy might ring a bell for them. Then I’d praise the boy to them too. Not much else I guess you can do.

She sounds like a terrible person. If you say something she will most likely blow up on you. Can you handle that? If so then yes, call her out. Praise her stepson. Correct her when she blames him for something the younger one did. Tell her to knock it off with the yelling and swearing. See if you can get the coaches or lifeguards or whoever to tell her to knock it off. She is unlikely to change. If you don't want to deal with her drama just stay far far away and don't interact. I feel bad for her step son. :( What a crappy person to have as a stepmom. Say something kind to him every chance you get.