One of Those Days... - Las Vegas,NV

For me, no. It got worse. Well, it got better. Then worse. Then better. Then worse.

Hence the divorce.

So things WILL get better... or they'll stay the same (and you'll learn to live like that and be okay OR hate it and call quits)... or get worse.

Which may seem like a dumb statement, but:

Right now... you're at the HARDEST point. When you're in LIMBO. When you don't know which way things are going to go. When you don't know. That's harder than reconciling, and harder than divorcing. When hope is alive, but not being fed. When your world is upside down and has no direction.

It's crazy making.

So... NO. You will NOT stay in Limbo forever. Promise. And no matter which way things go (happily ever after or divorce) it WILL be better than it is in Limbo-Land not knowing which end is up. And you'll move forward. Either with your husband, or without him. But you WILL move forward. And you're going to be okay. No matter which way things shake out. All you can control is you. As long as you just keep moving forward, you'll be fine.

SAY what YOU need to say. It does not matter what he says back. You need to say your stuff just to get it out there. Never be afraid of rejection, be afraid of your inability to voice yourself.
Cry if you want to, maybe not in front of your child, but CRY when you CAN, it is SO CLEANSING!! That WHY we have the OPTION.

Hang in there sweetie. Marriages go through all kinds of stages over the
years.

Tell him Happy Anniversary and don't expect anything back.

If he doesn't say anything back (most men are men of few words), don't
give it a single thought.

You're saying it to say it.

Don't expect a response and you won't be let down.

Take a deep breath.

Go into a room (like the bathroom) & have a good cry by yourself away from your son's eyes. Don't lock the door. Come out soon.

It's okay to be upset. To cry. To feel sad or disappointed. It's what you do with that that matters.

Hang in there. Take each day as it comes. 24 hrs at a time. You don't have to look down the road at the big picture. You just need to keep your spirits high (church, friends, think positive).

Wishing you peace sweetie.

This was touched on at my church sermon last night. A married couple marriage was at the end. The husband gave up...but the wife found god, let Him work through her and she was nothing. It loving towards her husband. She did not let the relationship go. Not sure of exact details...but they ended up back together...both letting God lead them and things are better than they could imagine....not perfect of course..no one is.

It was like a real life fireproof movie. Ifyou haven't seen it....do. It's even on Netflix now.

The sermon is not online yet...but if you go to the website...I will post below...and wait for sermon 3 of the story with pastor mike....please watch it. It may just hit home for you.
http://hopeonline.tv/

Good luck!

I like Tiffany L's idea. Finding a way to be together on your anniversary may be a good thing for you both. Since it's a tough time, you don't need to say "happy anniversary", but if you can make it happen, you can tell him you want to be with him on your anniversary. I wish you the best!

ADD: re the crying - we ALL need to cry sometimes. If you don't want your son to see you, that's ok. Cry after he goes to sleep - into a pillow if you're loud. Or cry in the shower. I've done both.

Hugs to you

J., if he is working on your marriage too, then tell him anyway. If he won't say it back, then it sounds like he isn't really working on it.

I hope you are taking every precaution with your finances in case this separation is permanent. You can try to fix the marriage and still protect you and your children. I hope you will.

Hugs~
Dawn

Well from previous posts it sounds like you and your husband still love each other but have got caught up in the everyday living of life. yes I know he is working out of state but you still can get caught up in the knowing you have them so no need to try anymore monster. If it possiable I think you should let a trusted family member take your son for the weekend and you go see your husband so you can get down to the heart of your problems with out worrying about your son hearing you. I think as long as you both still love each other there is always hope. Good luck and just keep talking open and honestly.

It WILL be ok. Time goes by. Things settle down. Your point of view changes. And you'll be bigger and stronger and better.

And btw, crying is very cleansing and a very important step in healing girl. Can't laugh at yourself for being pathetic til you've cried your fill.

Thinkin' about you.

:)

tell him. if he is in this with you he will accept it. you guys are going through a rough time. but if you are both willing to work on it, you can make it. we did! hang in there dear ((hugs)).

You text and skype your husband? Does that mean you are separated?

Tell him Happy Anniversary. But if you are going through a rough patch, don't let that be the only thing you say, he could take it sarcastically.

Let him know the day is important to you because your relationship with him has contributed to the person you are. Remind him of how in love you were 7 years ago and of the good things that have happened in that time. Let him know this day gives you good and happy thoughts/feelings, not just the negative that has surrounded you more recently. If you want to reconcile then let him know that the door is open and you will willingly participate if he wishes to. Regardless of his response, or lack of one, you can feel good and strong that you opened your heart, but at the same time respected wherever he is and that he might not be ready to do the same.

I have no idea how old your son is, but it is fine for children to know that relationships are not easy. Reassure him that you both love him no matter how happy or sad or mad either of you may feel on any given day.

Go in the bathroom, turn on the shower and cry it out. Tears are cleansing and you will want to let out all of the stored up pain so that it doesn't come out when you don't want it to. Then dry off, and be the mom you need to be. This is a hard time you are going through.

I am so glad to hear that you still love your husband. Your marriage is worth fighting for because you have a son who will do better if both his parents raise him in one home.

Read the book, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger to see what you could have done differently in your marriage. Women have more power than they realize in making their husbands happy. Then admit to your husband where you went wrong and what you want to do differently. Don't bring up anything he has or hasn't done. That will work itself out once you start owing your own part. It will be best if he comes to that on his own and doesn't hear it from you. That's how walls go up.

It may take a lot of strength on your part (if you are like me) to only look in the mirror instead of the magnifying glass. But I am betting that your husband needs to see this side of you. No whining, no begging, just a very honest discussion about what you have learned about yourself.