OMG !! My DD “Falls into Love” with Her Classmate

i wouldn't disregard it, but i would be careful not to play into it. you don't want her feeling that she must always look beautiful in order to make boys 'admire' her. a firm 'honey, you're going to play outside today so jeans and a sweatshirt are the appropriate clothing. if tom doesn't want to play with you, he doesn't have to. go play with candace instead.'
listen to her. offer her alternatives. don't feed the dragon.
khairete
S.

I know it's troublesome, but this is so normal. She might say she's "in love," but remember, she doesn't have a clue as to what she's saying. She's getting attention (from you, from classmates, who knows), and it's fun. Yes, it's important to help her understand that she is valuable and pretty regardless, but please don't take this so seriously. It's just a phase.

Talk to her about the other kids, what did you learn, what projects are you working on, what was your snack. Ask her about other aspects of school. Be positive, try not to engage in this topic and I think you'll find that she'll move on.

the best way to get someone's attention is to ignore them - Tom's been ignoring her and look at the way it has affected her. Problem is - she's only 4!!! So she needs to be redirected. Don't "give in"...explain to her that there are many more things more important than Tom or ANYONE admiring her "outer" beauty.....

You only have one chance to make a good first impression - so dress and MOST IMPORTANT BE nice every day - not just that ONE person can "admire" you - but EVERYONE can. It doesn't matter if it's a pair of jeans and a sweat shirt - you can still look NICE in that!! :)

What's more important than clothes? how you SINCERELY treat others and behave - the inner beauty is SOOOOO much more important than the external beauty. She has to like herself first - if she spends all of her time trying to impress ONE person - she's going to lose herself and at the ripe young age of 4 - that's a little young to be consumed by thoughts of one boy!!! YIKES!!! i hope this gets straightened out by the time she's in middle or high school!! :)

Any way - stress to her the importance of BEING HERSELF - not trying to be or do anything to impress someone...as then she'll be jumping through hoops the rest of her life trying to get others to like her. She has to like herself first - she has to the beauty in HER - not the outside beauty - but the inner beauty - what she brings to the table....

So have her start working on "herself" -
does she share?
does she say nice things to people?
is she treating them the way she wants to be treated?
does she greet people with a GENUINE smile?
does she LISTEN when others are talking or just she interrupt?
does she say please and thank you when people do things for her?
All of these things are things we take for granted and many times just plain forget to do. I've watched kids interact (we just had my son's 11th birthday party on Saturday and I was sooooooooo happy to see my son share his birthday cake - the blowing out of the candles with one of the other boys that was there - they share the same birthday - he said COME ON! It's your birthday too!! Blow out the candles!!) but things like that - thinking of others before you think of yourself. It goes a long way!!

GOOD LUCK!!

They pick up their values at home or at school. If you're ok with her acting like that, I can't help you, but if you, like me, find that incredibly inappropriate, then:

-Teach her that she is beautiful on the inside and that's what counts.
-Give her confidence that she doesn't need ANYONE'S admiration but God Almighty's and her parents'.
-This is one of the reasons we are not putting our kids in school, but again, that's a choice based on your own idea of what's appropriate.
-Teach her that she is a little girl. She is not an adult, nor does she need to worry about finding a husband right now. Tell her she will not be allowed to have a "special boy friend" and instruct her to play nicely with everyone, and not play favorites.
-Teach her modesty.
-Teach her to teach Tom about being good and doing good, growing in character, instead of worrying about little girls.

My 6 yr old son also "falls in love" easily. He just completely fell for a little 2 year old and that night went to sleep sobbing saying how much he loves her and wants her to live with us and he wants to marry her. I agree - it's kind of crazy! Maybe some kids just feel very intensely! I tell my son you are too young to fall in love...but you have a crush and like this person. If you are nice to them maybe they will like you back and will play with you. Remind your daughter that some boys do not wnat to play with girls and vice versa and she should not take it personally. Good luck.

I agree with the other two Mama's...don't buy into this...and help your daughter see that she is a worthwhile wonderful person regardless of whether a boy "admires" her or how she is dressed...what her hair looks like...etc.
Teach her than inner beauty is so much more important and more satisfying than outer beauty.
I would also be tempted to talk to the daycare provider..or preschool...whatever adult is in charge...to make sure that they aren't somehow encouraging this behavior. I can still remember when my daughter had a "boyfriend" that we did not approve of in elementary school...he was in a different class of hers and when the two classes would get together to watch a movie...or some other activity...the male teacher of that other class ( where the boy was) would save a seat for my daughter so that she could sit next to her "boyfriend'!!! Talk about innappropriate!!!
Children grow up so quickly today anyway...anything we as parents and grandparents can do to slow the process down is just a plus in my estimation!!

Suggest to her that Tom should "admire" her kindness to others, her willingness to share,her intelligence...etc....and if Tom is only interested in how she dresses...she needs to forget him and move on!!!

That sounds a little like my daughter although her problem is with 2 different classmates. She is "in love" with a boy in her class and I just tell her that she can be his friend but "you don't need to think about falling in love and getting married until you are a grown up" this works for her but she's still sometimes swoony when she talks about him.
She doesn't feel like she needs to impress him though and I think that's a big concern. There's a girl in her class that started the year as her best friend and my daughter thought she was great! Now, for the past 2-3 months she won't play with my daughter anymore because she doesn't have a green backpack! She also tells the other kids not to play with her! My daughter has asked if we can get her a green backpack so Ella will be her friend again and I of course said no. I told her that Ella isn't making a good decision by choosing her friends based on things like that and that she (my daughter) is a good and sweet little girl who has lots of friends and should just try to avoid Ella if she's going to act like that. It hurts my feelings a little when she comes home sad that Ella is mean to her but maybe this can be a good lesson for her.
We are homeschooling next year anyway. (Not because of this but for many reasons)