Older Dog with 3Yr Old Son & Baby on the Way

One of my dogs who is 10 did growl when my son was younger and tried to hug him. He doesn't growl anymore and I have a 2 yr old as well. My son was involved as much as possible w/ the dogs walking them, helping with their food & water, giving them treats, playing ball with them etc. My dogs also have a space of their own (in my closet) where they go when my boys are going nuts.

S.,

I am a veterinarian. You have one of 2 issues going on. This MAY be true anxiety/aggression, but you also have an older dog so you need to rule out medical issues. I would talk to your vet sooner rather than later. She needs full bloodwork up including a thyroid profile, urinalysis & X-rays. dog will hypothyroidism can show signs of aggression, arthritis causing pain- can cause aggression, or any other condition that causes hormonal, metabolic changes and pain.

In some cases- drug therapy is necessary for the behavior this is important information to see what can safely be used on the patient.

You may also need to consult with a trainer. Talk to your vet which who they recommend.

Be aware- most general practitioners don't deal with behavior. There are only 3 boarded vet behaviorists in FL at this time.

you can go to www.AVSABonline.org for more information. Handouts, book recommendations & position statements. As well as a link to a list of boarded veterinary behaviorists.

IF you need more help- handouts, advice etc. I may be able to help you if you email me privately.

I happen to know Tiffany Rimar, DVM, CVA at Tarpon Springs Animal Hospital. She is a great vet. I just don't know how much she deals with behavior.

I personally do integrative medicine conventional western medicine, & holistic medicine (mainly Chinese Medicine).

Well here is my advice. I was a vet tech for about 11 years so I don't want you to think that this is based on feelings or personal experiences.
It's not good that your dog is showing any aggression towards your child. Growing usually turns into lunging and lunging turns into biting. I'm sad to say that I have seen it happen several times with bad outcomes for all involved. It can take days, weeks or even years but if left unchallenged it will only progress. What is happening is not jealousy issues, that is a human term. In the dog world your dog is showing dominance over your son. I'll be willing to say that she doesn't show this behavior towards every one in the family. Your dog needs to be put in her place so the pecking order with her on the bottom and all humans are above her. Keeping them apart is only a temporary solution. I wouldn't say that you need to get rid of her but it would be wise to seek training from someone that is very experience in this area of behavior. A good place to start is your vet or even animal control in you area could help direct you in the right direction.
Hoping for the best,
C.

Hey, S. - You definitely need to talk with someone and get the dog/yourselves help/intervention - a trainer of some sort may be able to help and give you the honest picture (too bad you don't have access to the dog whisperer!). At the end of the day, you are very wise to admit who the dog really is with you and your family. And you are responsible for her actions. Whether she reacts to your kids or someone else's. It's so great that you recognize her behavior. I have a dog like that, too, but she is not anxious around my own kids - if they act up, she simply leaves the room. However, she's very anxious around other kids. Shoes w/ lights on them...very fast moving feet...she even nipped at shoe laces...kids with loud voices screaming and running inside or out, and always interested in the dog and sometimes nervous themselves around the dog. We adopted her from an abusive home where she was often kicked, which made her particularly nervous around feet. Our rule of thumb when the kids were younger was that if any children were over, she was put away in a room and no one was to enter (and we had to watch - usually put her in the upstairs master bathroom so that no one accidentally let her out). We now let her out all the time as my youngest is 4 (the dog is now almost 15) and she is far more comfortable around kids. But if a child comes over who is afraid of dogs or expresses a minutia of discomfort, we immediately put her away - everyone is happier. As for the food thing, that's another issue, and it would make me very nervous for my own kids b/c there are far too many times you'll not be looking when a wandering child ends up near the food bowl. Oh, another rule for us was that there are NO bones/chew sticks allowed at all. We saw a wee bit of aggression and ended that immediately. No problems since.

Older dogs can develop poor vision and/or hearing, which can make them startle more easily. And many have arthritis and other aches and pains which can also make them less tolerant of rough handling. I would just talk with your veterinarian and see what they can recommend. You can also speak with a veterinary behavior specialist (your regular vet can probably recommend one) once physical and medical issues have been addressed.

I have to agree with CAT. I do not think it is anything you are doing or not doing. I think it is the fact you have a very old Senior Dog. 10 Years Old is VERY old for a big dog. The reason you have been blessed with her this long is because she is a mix breed dog. The old dogs just do not like to be touched anymore due to pain and many times start to loose sight and even become a little senile. As your preschooler gets bigger and more interactive and the dog gets older and in more pain, the aggression will continue. Can you imagine what it would feel like to have a heavy person (remember your preschooler is starting to weigh more and is quite large when considering pet to child ratio). Can you imagine all of that weight laying on you or touching you; if you were a 70 year old in pain. Grandpa would be grumpy too... When she goes over by your son when he is playing, it is because she too remembers and seeks his love, attention and interaction, but if he touches her not quite right or moves too fast, it is just a natural reaction for her to get "on guard". So I do not think it is a behavior that really can be changed. I think it is a behavior that we have to prevent the causing factor to stop. Just think if you brought a group of Toddlers to a retirement home with a lot of older, hard of hearing, sight impaired seniors & the toddlers started running by them and screaming, they too will say some unchoice things and flee. So she is just trying to 'protect herself. I think all of the books you ar reading are referencing Dogs who are not senior dogs and your case. They are referencing the 3-6 year old dog. A dog with personality behaviors. Yours is for another reason. So right now you have to think prevention. I actually do not think the new baby will be the problem. The new baby will not be on the move for at least 7-9 months after birth. Your dog is not behaing this way out of jealousy, but out of survial instinct. Also when our children are crawling babies, we tend to gate them off. I know this is hard to hear as it is hard for me to say, but I really do not think your dear 1st baby (Your 4 legged one) will be around to be a problem with the baby as a toddler. (SORRY to just say that out but probably true). I think you need to just take care of your dog right now. After talking to the vet, it may help to give her an asprin a day. Just take care of her in these final months. My heart goes out and so does a hug. We too have a senior dog and the thought of her age really makes me tearful... For now, just make sure the dog's food is seperate and that you have a safe spot for her to be able to retreat to where your son just can not get to. her. Make sure it is easy for your dog to get to this safe place. Remember stairs become hard for them and cold drafty places make them stiff.... Here is a (((HUG))). Good Luck!

Your dog sounds like she is in pain or not feeling good. She could be loosing part of her eye site and sudden moves scare her, I would take her to the vet ASAP to get checked. If all is well, Just keep a good eye on her when the children get next to her. I would never get ride of my doggie. It would be like getting ride of your child. Just have her checked and watch her close.

I agree with everyone about the whole exercise thing with the dog. Even if its just around the block it will help alot.Our dog was 16 when he passed last yr. He was nearly blind & totally deaf & the kids learned to move slowly around him. He was on arthritis meds because he could barely walk without them. Your dog needs a place that he can get away from everything & everyone when he wants to. Our kids knew early on that if Blaze went under the table or by me anytime that they were not to mess with him. It worked & everyone was happy. Teach your son this now so that by the time the baby comes he is used to it & the dog will have an easier time adjusting to the baby & dont be afraid to let the dog smell the baby & everything about the baby he needs to know the baby is part of the pack, as Cesaer would say. Good luck with this & congratulations on your newest addidtion.

I am NOT a vet, but the first thought that came to my mind was what S. said... you should check with your vet to rule out any medical issues. Especially since your dog is older.

From everything I know about dogs, they try NOT to show pain or discomfort. It is a sign of weakness. Before dogs were "domesticated", it could be a virtual death sentence for a dog to show weakness/illness to the other members of the pack. Your dog will attempt to hide/avoid letting you see her displaying pain if she can help it. This may manifest as suddenly getting "short tempered" with things that previously wouldn't have bothered her. At 10 years old, arthritis comes to mind, as something that might make her edgier and slightly more irritable.
So definitely consult your vet, before assuming that it is a personality or training issue. It might be, it might not be, or it might be a little of both. So find out.
Good luck, and congratulations on your pending addition to the family!

There is an amazing natural vet in Tarpon Springs-at Tarpan Spring Animal Hospital- Tiffany something- check her out forfeeding and natural means to make your dog as healthy as possible- no doubt she is achey, which makes her testy- doesn't it for all of us-
The stalker, as you call it, is her taking care of him, I think, watching out for him.
Your children are now going to learn from you what do you do with family members when they get old. Make sure you are teaching the lesson you mean to teach.
best, k

Updated

There is an amazing natural vet in Tarpon Springs-at Tarpan Spring Animal Hospital- Tiffany something- check her out forfeeding and natural means to make your dog as healthy as possible- no doubt she is achey, which makes her testy- doesn't it for all of us-
The stalker, as you call it, is her taking care of him, I think, watching out for him.
Your children are now going to learn from you what do you do with family members when they get old. Make sure you are teaching the lesson you mean to teach.
best, k

I had a dog just like this. The growling and nipping already is a real red flag that this dog could do some damage to a younger child. When you have two kids, it is MUCH harder to keep an eye on a dog that you can not trust to be alone with your kids.

Training is something you can try, and each dog is different, but after 2 years of us trying to train both the dog and my child (who was BEYOND gentle), having an animal nip at him which will lead to biting if the child does not immediately leave the area of the dog---well, let's just say I did not want to take that risk. And as a Mom, you do blink..and in that blink a lot can happen.

Keeping the age of the dog in mind, it is unlikely training will help...The above poster is right that with age, medical problems arise that can cause her to become more agitated, and I can tell you from experience--the majority of old dogs have an attitude or are moody. (Vet Tech before kids)

Well, you have to decide just how much of a risk you are willing to take. Dogs are not human--they still retain wild animal instincts when they feel threatened. With you being pregnant, and adding yet another "threat" to what your dog already sees (your son), things are more likely to get worse, and not better.

Keep in mind that Chow, as a breed, is unpredictable...Lab is loyal, Greyhound is fragile and tends to be cautious and anxious...and you have already stated your dog is already nervous....adding another child will only make that worse in most dogs....

We actually had to make the hard decision and we decided it was safer for the dog to find a new home. She now lives at the beach with a husky as a sister.

Bottom line is you have to listen to your head and try to hush your heart for a moment...go with your gut feeling...because it usually is right...I didn't listen and my son got bit...

I hate to be so blunt, but a dog just killed a three days old baby and want you to be more vigilant. It is a dog, and an animal. It seems dogs are more important than human beings, and I personally will not have a dog in my home. I do not have small kids, and perhaps GOD is giving you a warning. You should trust your maternal instinct, and get rid of it. I do not want to read an another horror story about dogs hurting, and even killing young children.

Def. keep a close eye on her around kids. She is an old dog and might be having artirtis problems. My grandma had a Rottweiler that had hip dyspleysia real bad so she would get kind of aggravated at us kids when we were being too loud or too rough with her. but she would NEVER growl or bite at anyone. also teaching your son to stay away from her while she is eating is a great idea. older dogs tend to want to be left alone while eating. And with another lil one on the way i would have ur vet maybe do a complete check - up / including checking for bone problems. on her. but other then that u shouldnt have any problems. Good luck.

My mother's 10 year old dog was the same way- and eventually bit my son in the face. My son didn't even touch him... he just fell down near the dog and it nipped him right on the forehead, leaving a nasty scar for a while. Just because you are watching doesn't mean something won't happen. I was literally 2 feet from my son and it all went down so fast, I couldn't do anything...
On the other hand, we adopted my grandmother's 10 year old dog after she passed two years ago. The dog was nervous, growling, nippy and had never been around kids...I fixed this by firm discipline. Telling the dog NO!, making him lay on this back with my son there rubbing his belly, etc. We had to be consistent with it, but I now trust our dog completely with my son. He also watches out for our two month old and let's us know when she makes even the slightest whimper. You CAN teach an old dog, it just takes some work. You have to nip it in the bud- pardon the pun. Hope this helps!

Does the dog get exercise at all? Not in a backyard, but walks? Dogs HAVE to get out and see the world. It's their instinct. If this dogs isn't getting it's energy out (even old dogs need this, and they still have energy) they will be more likely to be anxious. If the dog is not being exercised, it's need aren't being met. When humans needs aren't being met, think of all the problems they have. Could you imagine, never leaving your home and staring at the same fence and walls every day? You would go crazy! Get this dog outside!! I guaranteed, that you see will a change in the anxiety level. Un-exercised dogs are so much more likely to bite. The first step, is start meeting the dogs basic needs. Take the dog on daily walks, find out if it is in pain. Once you've taken the dog to the vet and you get it's health assessed, you can go from there. Teaching your son more boundaries, would help. Specifically with food. He needs to understand going near the dogs food is very dangerous, becuase the dog instinctively protects it's meal. Do not ever let your son lean on her, explain the danger factor.

These are serious issues you're describing, and I can understand why you'd be concerned. A child is so tender, and their little faces are right at many dog's face level, and one quick bite can create a horrendous amount of damage to a child's face (I've heard frightening reports from doctors and EMTs).

You might be able to train her out of the behavior, but only to the degree she can stay calm around child energy. If you want to try this route, I'd suggest hiring a professional trainer, with the understanding that there are no long-term guarantees of your children's safety. It would probably be better to place the dog in another home, as hard as that would be, if you want guarantees.

I had a little dog for 3yrs. When my son was born, the day i took him home my dog went to my bedroom window and howl or cry. When the dog would come in he would growl. I found him another home. I knew that my dog would hurt my son.It sounds like your dogs nerves can no longer tolerate your son. Could you find it a home with someone elderly. I bet he would make a good compaion.

Does she seem afraid or fearful of him? Does she shake or give off body language that warns you she is afraid? Most people think "mean" is the worst thing a dog can be... .but in truth it's afraid. A fearful dog will hurt people. If she's afraid you need to build her confidence and work on that issue before you can trust her not to hurt either one of your kids.

If she barks when he comes near her food it's called resource guarding. Its not aggression per se, it's her believing she is higher rank then your son and he has no right to touch her most valued stuff. She's not too old to get in obedience classes. Work with a trainer -- someone trained in animal behavior -- to identify what the root of her growling is. You need to establish that she is NOT permitted to be aggressive with any member of your household - regardless of size. She needs to understand that all humans come first but do this in a way that won't increase her fears, you don't have to be mean or aggressive with her to establish pecking order.

Does she have somewhere she can go to get away from the human child? A crate in a safe spot he can't get to? A doggy door that lets her go outside and be away from him? She should have a spot she can go when she wants to be left alone.

For now, I would figure out what her triggers are -- if it's her food, or a favorite toy.. practice taking them away from her and giving them back. Praise her, let her see that she will get it back. Have him do it next (STAY CLOSE). Also buy some high value treats and have him pet her and give her treats - with you right there. (dried liver, cooked chicken, etc.) You could also control the times she's fed to times when he isn't around. If you're up before him put her food down then and pull it up when he wakes up, do that again after he goes to bed. I feed my girls 8am and 8pm.

I'm just brain storming common causes and solutions.. but really it would be worth it to go to a 5-6 week training class and talk to a trainer on how to address the problems BEFORE it becomes a deal breaker for your family. Good dogs don't happen over night, you have to show them how to make their humans happy. That's your part as an owner - train her.

Good luck!