Old Dog...no New Tricks

Updated on May 02, 2014
S.J. asks from Georgetown, TX
25 answers

I have 150 lb Irish Wolfhound mutt that I rescued from the pound 10 years ago. They estimated his age at the time as 1 or 2. He used to be my baby but you know how it goes after you have kids. Now he is one of the most stressful aspects of my life. He wakes us up 5 times a night to go outside. He just likes to hang out outside and then bangs on the door to get back in. We can't ignore him. He used to be well disciplined but now he just does what he wants. He isn't aggressive at all but he isn't careful around the almost two year old the way he was with the 6 year old. He is constantly knocking her over and he stalks her and steals her food. We are in the process of selling our house and moving into our dream house. We are realizing how much damage he has caused in our house from carpeting to broken tiles when he jumped the baby gate and knocked it over. Scratches on the glass of the back door, you name it...he has destroyed it. I have always believed that when you choose an animal you are obligated for life...but I don't want to move him into our new house. He will scratch the floors and he won't be able to climb the stairs. He has always slept on the floor next to me and I know he will be super anxious if he can't get to me at night. What do I do with him? No one wants a 150 lb senile, arthritic dog. He isn't sick. We can't do a doggy door and its too hot to keep him outside all the time. Obedience training didn't work...I am sad and frustrated. Any ideas?

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So What Happened?

I am definitely not looking to euthanize him. I just need ideas for having him not destroy our new home or driving us crazy. We are sleep deprived and desperate. I like the idea of a blanket that smells like me. Those are the types of ideas I want. I also think its harder than most people think because of his size. He really is 150 lbs and comes to my waist...so this isn't just annoying it can be unsafe. Our new house is open concept so no places for gates...we do love him...we are just tired!!

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O.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

Are you thinking people are going to suggest you euthanize him?
Well, I'm not.
For me, it wouldn't be my "dream home" without my dog of 10 years.

You won't be able to do the stairs either O. day....
(Yes, and I've "walked the walk" with 2 senior dogs on my adult life.)

8 moms found this helpful

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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

When I get upset at someone's post, I usually write out my reply and then cancel it instead of posting it. But this time I won't, because I don't think you realize what you're really saying. So get ready to be offended.

Okay. The key, I think, is the phrase in your post, "He used to be my baby, but you know how it goes after you have kids."

You had a kid, so to speak - a GREAT BIG kid - and you have shoved him aside. You've quit on his training - and those dogs need consistent training - and dropped him out of your attention range. In essence, you've abandoned him, in order to focus on your children - and you expect him to behave himself on his own. Would your children do that? Yes, dogs are dogs, not people, but dogs are pack animals. You've stopped being his leader and now you're blaming him because he's leaderless and trying to fend for himself.

It's not just you - it's a whole lot of people whose pets turn out only to be stopgaps until something better comes along. That includes me, by the way - I had to learn better, but that sure didn't help my first dog. (End of vent.)

Take Mr. Irish to the vet and get him a very good checkup. Tell the vet about the five times per night - Mr. Irish might well have a UTI. Start giving him the care and attention he NEEDS, as directed by your veterinarian, and make it a permanent thing from now on. There's no reason you can't make it a family routine.

If you won't, contact Irish Wolfhound rescue and beg them find a foster home for him. And please don't get any more dogs. Ever.

10 moms found this helpful

T.R.

answers from Milwaukee on

" I have always believed that when you choose an animal you are obligated for life..."

Well, your post sure doesn't sound like that belief at all. Your dog needs your love & understanding. He may only be 10 years of your life, but you have been his entire life & world.

You are bringing a 6 & 2 year old into a new home, & are worried that your dog might scratch your pristine floors? He is 11 or 12, & you are worried that he is inconvenient to you?

My idea is - you do what needs to be done to make sure that he is loved and comforted & cared for during this time when he is living out his sunset years.

I am so sad thinking of your poor dog, who doesn't have anyone taking his head in their hands, kissing his nose & telling him how much they love him. Instead, he is being discarded in their minds, as they count down how much longer they need to be inconvenienced, & try to figure out ways to block him out of the "important" areas of their house.

Please, don't get another dog after he passes. Your children don't need to grow up seeing their mother debate which is more important, a living, loving dog, or a hardwood floor. T.

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E.B.

answers from Beaumont on

Just needs some love. Our dog got senile toward the end of her life. Odd behaviors she had never done before. Continue to love him, oddness and all. Your children are watching. They need to know that love is forever...

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K.F.

answers from New York on

It sounds like he needs more exercise. For his breed he is already 3 years beyond the average life expectancy.

Instead of just letting him out in the yard. He would be better served going out for a walk. Perhaps even a vigorous walk or jog. If he is arthritic, see if the vet could prescribe something to ease his pain. Give him a warm place to lay and he should be better.

You may also consider taking him to doggy day care. He may need the socialization if he is home alone all day. His breed is very attached to people and love the human contact. It probably stresses him out being home alone or being separated from his humans.

Please implement these suggested changes before considering getting rid of him, afterall he is in his golden years why not make the special for this valualbe addition to your family.

7 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Considering he's mostly Irish Wolfhound - they have an average lifespan of about 7 years.
That yours is about 12 might mean that he's just about done.
How senile and arthritic is he?
How much damage do you think he'll cause in the new house?
You might have to sleep downstairs with him (get a comfortable couch) and let him in/out as often as he needs until he passes away naturally.
Or if he's in a lot of pain then maybe it's time to have the vet put him down.
He's had a good long life - almost twice as long as his breeds average.
Big dogs just don't live as long as smaller breeds.
You're going to have to say goodbye to him sooner or later.
These things are never easy.

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K.F.

answers from Salinas on

Maybe you should drive out to the country and just leave him by the side of the road. I really don't understand what you're asking. Can you really not figure out a way to live happily with him anymore? It's your dog of 10 years and your post sounds like you want to get rid of him.

It's a really gorgeous, unusually warm night here and my husband and I just took our dog for a long walk under the stars. Honestly that dog could do almost anything (besides hurt a person) and not trigger a post like this from me. He gives our family stuff people can't, even if he's a pain in the A@# sometimes.

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K.S.

answers from Denver on

I can hear how frustrating this is for you, and exhausting. And it's easy for us to say you have to take him- we aren't waking up 5 times a night. I get that. But.... you do need to take the poor guy. It sounds like that is your plan, you are just worn out and unhappy at the thought of him destroying your new home.

I would talk with the vet, and perhaps an animal behavior expert- sort of like a trainer, just with the goal of getting more ideas to adapt to his new home. The blanket is a good idea and you need more like that, and a trainer/expert will be great at giving you those. They can even come to the new place and come up with specific ideas.

The upside is that since it will be a new house, any changes will be 'new' to him, he won't be unlearning established habits. You are starting fresh.

FYI, my dog was pretty destructive due to anxiety, and she is now on doggie Prozac (or maybe it's Paxil). It's made a big difference. And it makes her sleepy so she sleeps all night!!

I hope you find some helpful answers. I know it's work you didn't want, but you'll be proud of yourself for doing the right thing for him. Good luck.

6 moms found this helpful

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

Wow...he seems to be living a bit longer than I would expect such a big dog!
I understand your frustration...I do....
After he passes you are going to miss the dog, how he slept next to you and protected you.
I *think* you are going to have to stick it out with him until the end.
Maybe you could make a "pen" for him outside that he can stay in at night? Put a blanket that you have slept on outside for him?
L.

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

There is a huge red flag in your post but it gets buried among your concerns about floors and doors.

The red flag: "He isn't careful around" your toddler. And he is 150 pounds -- easily many times the weight of your toddler. He could injure your kid, or worse, just by sitting on or knocking over the toddler. Even the gentlest dog on the planet can harm a small child with that kind of difference in their sizes. That fact, not the scratched floors or his getting you up at night, is the real issue, isn't it?

I'm going to post going on the assumption that you are actually wanting an "out" and don't want him in your new house, because frankly that's how I read the post. I know others say you must take him, it's a lifetime deal, and that is how things should be, I completely agree; however, based on the post I think It's clear you don't want to do the extensive training, or specialist training, or possible "doggy Prozac" etc. that would be involved in keeping him with you in your new house.

So, if you don't or can't do the kind of training etc. this would require:

Have you tried searching online for the term "Irish wolfhound rescue"? There are many groups out there that rehome dogs--yes, even older adult dogs, even huge dogs. One, adoptapet.com, explicitly says that "no pooch is too old for puppy love" and has a page about why adult Irish wolfhounds/wolfhound mixes make great pets. Another organization, Irish Wolfhound Club of America, says it "assists owners who no longer are able to care for their Irish Wolfhound." (Yes, you are able to care for him, but again, based on the post, I feel you're really seeking an "out" here.) A search online for help like this could help you find someone else whose family, house and lifestyle give them room and time to deal with his needs.

Better to rehome him now, before you move, rather than taking him and then resenting him every day.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

So if you are living with your kids when you are old and they decide to move, should they take you or leave you? He needs your love now more than ever. He is elderly. Talk to your vet please.

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C.B.

answers from Reno on

Our dog Bodie was a lab/rot mix and he was about 105 pounds. he suffered from epilepsy. When we adopted him he was already about 7 years old. He was left at the pound by someone who just didn't want to "deal" with it anymore. We gave him his forever home until he passed almost 3 years ago. It sucked when he had a seizure because he peed and he did ruin our carpet, his head would shake and foam would fly everywhere. When we got him we were told he only had mild seizures but they were so wrong, even with proper medication from the vet and a special diet the older he got the worse he got. His last seizure he never came out of, he died with me by his side.
My point is that you took this dog in and gave him a home when his other owner did not want him. I had many nights of waking up to seizures and so forth but I commited to this dog and I was not going to be like his first owner who got "sick" of dealing with him. I can only imagine the pain Bodie felt when he was dumped off.
I get your frustration but please think it through, do you want your kids to see that when you get tired of a pet or they get to old you just get rid of them?
Many blessings

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

You made a commitment to him. You take him with you to your new house.
Obedience training only works if you reinforce it all his life. Taking him to class, then not continuing to practice daily with him once he knows the commands just means you wasted your money, your time, and the dog's time on classes.

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S.S.

answers from Atlanta on

this is so sad to me. I can't imagine my home without dogs. and it sounds like you don't want this dog anymore.

Please look into http://www.adoptapet.com/adoption_rescue/71711.html

your dog needs to be seen by a vet. It's not normal for a dog to want to go out 5 times a night.

I'd be concerned about how he's treating your daughter. That's a huge red flag. Others have brought this up and I agree, he's trying to find his place in the pack again.

Please find your love for your dog again. He needs you now more than ever.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

What do you do? You take him with you and you continued to love and care for him until his last day. He is part of your family, and honestly kids can damage a house just as quickly as a dog can. If you honestly can not take him with you no matter what then have him put down, but I know that is not a choice I would ever make about a healthy animal that was a part of my family.

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D.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

What do you do? You take him with you, and find a way to make it work. He's been with your family for 10 years, and yes, when you choose an animal, you are obligated.

I think you give him his part of the house, and babygate off the rooms where your kids play most often. If he can't go up and down stairs, he probably can't jump the gate anymore, or you can get a taller walk-through gate that you know he can't jump. For the floors to prevent scratching, buy some inexpensive area rugs from Ross or TJ Max for protection. If you tell your child that food stays in the kitchen, and keep the dog out of the kitchen, that will help with the food stalking. You could also get a large crate and crate him at mealtimes if he's disruptive (maybe at night too).

For sleeping, what if you sleep with a throw blanket for a week, and then use that to make his bed downstairs. Then he will feel like you are nearby even if you aren't, because your smell will be on the blanket.

I know it may seem like a lot, but a dog that size, at age 11 or 12, probably doesn't have a lot of time left, and I think you'll not forgive yourself it you do anything except take him with you, and try to make him at home in the new house.

ETA: Have you also had him checked out by a vet? The going out 5 times a night could be dementia (he's forgotten he's already gone out). But it also could be anxiety or diabetes, both of which can be treated. And since your new house is open concept, how about those big kid pens - they are for babies, but you basically hook multiple of them together to make a full enclosure instead of gating a doorway. And I do think you need a gate for the bottom of the steps, so he doesn't get hurt or stuck halfway up or down.

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M.P.

answers from Raleigh on

Having a geriatric dog myself (almost 14 years old), my opinion is you just have to stay the course at this point.
Also, have him seen by a vet for the urinating problem. This isn't normal and is sometimes a sign of early kidney disease, which is not uncommon in older dogs. Sometimes a diet change can help.
Also, why can't you do a doggy door at the new place? This sounds like it would alleviate some of the annoyances you describe.

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V.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

I'm not sure what ideas you are looking for. Alternatives to taking him with you? There aren't any, in my opinion. He's yours and you are his, and he is part of your family. Tiles can be repaired or replaced. Floors can be buffed. Etc. If you can afford to move into your "dream home" then you can afford to spiff it up when the day finally comes for him to go to the rainbow bridge.

And definitely talk with your vet. When was the last time he was in for a checkup? Dogs do get dementia with age, and sometimes stubborn or whatever... so do elderly people. Maybe there is a medication that can help with some of it. There may even be something you can give him to ease any stiffness so that the stairs aren't that big of an issue for awhile.
I think if he cannot manage the stairs, then he will let you know, and be content with something of yours to sleep with downstairs, (maybe right near the bottom of the stairs?), as someone else suggested.

My GSD just turned 10. I cannot imagine not taking her with us if we were to move---even into a home that isn't really suited to HER needs. I just can't imagine it. And yes... I know they do "little" things to the house that you don't notice until time goes by. But so do kids. Look around at the door facing in your house... I'd bet they are just as covered with grey hand marks as any other damage the dog might have done over time. Mine are. Just like my dining room window sill gets coated with that greasy "doggy" ick, because she lays with her chin on the window sill all the time. She doesn't do anything wrong, but it still leaves a mess. So I get it. But I would still take her with me. She's my girl. And we are the only family she has.
She would die of heartbreak and depression pretty quickly, I'd venture to guess, if we tried to find her another family to live with. That's awful to contemplate if it isn't truly a necessity (a single owner who passes away and leaves behind their companion pet type scenario).

It isn't a necessity to not take your dog. So take him. Your kids need to learn how to navigate around him (and dogs in general anyway). No food at his mouth level. It's that simple. Kids should be at the table with food anyway.. not walking around with it. And sure, he might accidentally knock your little one over sometimes, but she is growing quickly, and she WILL learn to watch out for that. Kids are amazing at what they learn in the name of self-preservation and natural cause and effect.
I suspect that some of his "obedience training" that didn't work, is simply a matter of you have gotten busier and more distracted with the children and your own lives and haven't put into enforcing the rules what you should have of late. Step up your game a little bit there, and you will see a difference. But, that means not just disciplining the dog and being a rule keeper for him, but for the kiddos as well (remember--food at the table, not walking around with it).

You'll be glad you put in all the work later on...because when the time finally does come... in a year, or three or 3 months from now... and you have to make that final vet visit, he will be your big baby all over again. And you will be in pieces. Don't rush going there. Let your kids have him for as long as they can. He is a part of the family for them more than for you, even... they don't know family without him, do they?

--
Oh.. and that is a good point, that once you move EVERYTHING will be new all over again. It will be a great time to (re)introduce rules and practices. I know that our GSD is accustomed to certain behaviors of mine (like staying up late at night). While she naps nearby... she also knows that I will take her out one more time before I retire for the night.. usually around 1:00 a.m. So, when I am trying to go to bed early for some reason, she doesn't quite "get" that THIS is her last chance at the potty for the night. So by morning, she is READY at 6:00 a.m, when normally, she doesn't seem in any rush to go out until after 9:00 a.m. sometimes.
It takes time for new routines to become the routine. So be mindful of that when you move. From the first day/night in the new place, be very proactive in your behaviors and expectations with him. So that he will learn the rules of the new place. And that includes night time potty breaks, and possibly taking up his water at bedtime (or reducing how much is available to him throughout the night). But certainly, please ask his vet about medical reasons behind his night time interests/needs, and possible medication to help with it.

I do get that he is very large. My former boss had a great dane.. so I understand the size thing. But they also tend to not move all that quickly--well, I never saw Rocky move fast at all. I don't know about your fellow, but at 11, maybe 12, he is probably only the slower side, no? So it doesn't seem likely that he is running your toddler over... more like turning around and not seeing her as she stands there and gets bumped over, right? The biggest concern with that, would of course be the stairs. Don't allow the dog up the stairs and that is fixed. New house, new rules.

I hope you get some sleep though. Any chance of going back to using his crate when you make the move? That might help with the nighttime issues, too.

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M.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

Elderly dogs get dementia and there is a medication to treat it. It doesn't eliminate the dementia, but it helps. I can't remember the name of it, but I think it starts with an "A." It was reasonably priced for my 20-lb dog, but I don't know how much it would cost for a large dog. It bought my 16-year-old terrier an extra 1 1/2 years plus a better quality of life. The going out a lot at night could be an aging/physical issue, but it is also a symptom of dementia. Wanting to go out a lot and then wanting to come back in could be a symptom too. They get disoriented. I would talk to your vet. At the new house can he have his own special area? A gated area in the kitchen or something where he can still be part of the family and not do too much damage to the house? I don't know what to tell you about the stairs. I was able to carry my 17-year-old senile and arthritic dog up and down the stairs until his final day because he was 20 lbs. I gave one of my elderly dogs melatonin before bed to calm her and help her sleep. Dogs metabolize melatonin differently than people do so once again you would have to ask the vet for the proper dosage. Good luck.

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

poor old fella and poor old YOU! getting up 5 times per night can't be much fun. and i'm worried about your toddler.
sounds like you'll need to do a basic re-training when you move. pick an area that's 'his' and have him stick to it, but with everyone making a genuine and consistent effort to make sure he's getting plenty of walks and attention. and a REALLY big crate for nighttime. has the vet checked him out for a UTI? and he may need some sort of anxiety medication to help him with the anxiety of the move and no longer being able to sleep next to you.
good luck, hon. it's a tough situation.
khairete
S.

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

I find this post very heartbreaking. Your dog is probably much larger than you anticipated he would be and now that he is older, he is more needy.

I can't imagine getting so irritated with my dog that I would be ready to re-home one of them. We have been through a dog with cancer, dealing with bladder issues, the poodle with a cataract that instantly blinded him and we spent a boat load of money to restore his sight when most people would ignore it or put him down.

You dog needs extra love and exercise. Going outside 5 times a night is not normal. This could very well be a habit that can be reversed. If he indeed does need to go potty that much, check with your vet because they shouldn't go that much at night. Limit water intake from about 7pm until morning.

If his behavior has changed with your children, he needs to see a vet. He could be losing his sight, hearing, etc and need help.

When we adopt pets, we accept the responsibility and the possible damages they do to our homes.

I really hope you are able to work with your dog and keep him. Find out what is going on.

I do know that my dogs will go outside every chance they get in the middle of the night because my hubby routinely gets up during the night and checks outside before he goes to his upstairs office. When he is out of town, I do NOT get up and let these dogs out at 2 or so in the morning. It is pure habit.

Best wishes to you.

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C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

When we moved here 4 years ago we put in a dog door. One of our dogs was elderly (he recently passed away) and having a dog door is WONDERFUL! He always wanted to go out a couple times a night and suddenly he could just let himself out and in. So, this is one thing I recommend. Can you keep him in just part of your house? Can you spend more time with him each day? A long walk? Can you hire some neighborhood teenagers to walk him daily? Put up a protector on the glass doors. Put down some kind of protective pad on the tiles if needed. It is true - you adopted him for life. He's getting old now. For a really big dog like that 10 is very old. PS - Before the dog door I would say NO, LIE DOWN when my older dog kept waking me up. It did help. If your dog is not going outside to use the bathroom, then he is just in the habit of getting up and is bored.

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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

My dog(s) have done a lot of damage to our home, along with my kids, husband and myself. For that matter, my older daughter did a lot of damage on the way out the door with her movers. So no worries about a broken tile and scratched glass and whatever else the dog may have damaged. It happens.

I agrees with the blanket. I suggest you sleep on the blanket. Put it in your part of the bed so that you sleep directly on the blanket. The dog will love it, sweat and all.

In the new home, try to make a den for the dog. My recently adopted rottie sleeps on a dog bed behind a chair, under a table. They like their dens as opposed to open space. One of our dogs slept in the guest half bathroom. The room is small enough that it felt like his little den.

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B.K.

answers from Chicago on

Without a doubt, try www.barkbusters.com. They come to your home to train, and it worked like a charm for my daughter and her two dogs. I don't think you can do this all on your own because it sounds like you've created the problems. You need someone to come to your home and train YOU how to train him.

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S.N.

answers from Chicago on

Does your dog have cognitive canine dysfunction? It is dog dementia and one of the symptoms is roaming at night. Read up on it and talk with the vet. There are some meds used for it that may help. There are things you can do to help him.

We had a 14 year old dog that changed gradually: roaming at night, not eating dog food, getting stuck in corners. He had this dementia. My husband and I took turns letting him out at night, helping him when he got turned around etc. He totally ruined our carpet with his accidents. We lost a lot of sleep. But after all was said and done, I can live with myself and know that I saw him through the good and the bad times, never giving up on him while he had decent quality of life. After a year, we put him down because he stopped eating, didn't respond to anything and would just walk in circles and had no quality of life.

Try to hang in there for your guy and so you can live with yourself later without regrets. Read up on dog dementia; I learned a lot by researching.

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