Okay Ladies......I Want to Hear on How the Bills Are Paid in Your Household....

My husband and I were talking. We starting talking about bills. I have a friend that is on the verge of divorce, and they now have have separate bank accounts. He pays all the bills and she pays him "x" a month. After mentioning this to my husband, he says many couples do this. I asked him if his "friends" do half of the housework and he says "yes", he hears about them cooking.

Here is my question....or problem. I had my first child at age 23, and that first marriage ended when the child was around 3 or 4. Before I had my first son, I didn't go to school ( my mistake) to make a career, I just worked to make a living. Then my ex, wanted me to stay home to raise our child, which was fine for me..........that is what I wanted and loved it. By the way, my "first baby" is a straight A student, helps babysit, cleans house, in his 12 years of school.. all of his teachers do nothing but brag about how wonderful he is......yes it's true...I do have a 17 year old angel. But I got divorced(because my ex thought it was more fun to smoke pot and drink than stay home with a wife and kid), and started working to support my son and myself when that happened. I didn't go to school, just took work were I would be most available to my son. A few years later, I met my now lovely husband.....I worked till I was 5 months pregnant........then started back to work again when that child was 2. But I worked nights and weekends ( full time hours),........so I could still be a full time wife and mother. Then a few years later I was pregnant with my third child which I worked up until I was 8 months pregnant.......and went back 3 months later as part time. By the way.....this work...is being a waitress. Still working nights and weekends............doing 90% of the cooking, cleaning, the whole 9 yards. Anyway, my husband....has had a few jobs.....trying to find one to support our family........has took many jobs.....moving up.....but to do this....includes overnight trips......several day trips.....many schools and classes.......putting forth 100%......not being available for any, I mean any doctors, dentists, school, anything like that for the kids.......had a wife to take care of everything....so he could advance in his work. Then you have me still taking care of the entire household......working nights avoiding daycare (and sleep)....if you add what I make...plus what we would have to pay for daycare if I worked days working full time, would be less than what I make part time nights...and I am still available to bring things forgotten by hubby or kids, appointments, sick kids, and being their for the baby which is now 3. Anyway......since I was 23.....now 40......I have been taking care of kids....household....etc........working nights part time....to avoid daycare and bring home decent money, but not near as much as hubby. I will be 55 when my "last baby" is 18. So between 23 and 55.....I will be have been taking care of kids. By the way, my hubby was 41 when he "we" had the first child. So, since I have only been trying to make a living....putting my kids and family first....my husband has been trying to advance to support his family..........................................................
Now we are talking about spliting up the bills..........
I can not afford half of the bills with what I make. I have always felt like what I do is worth something......much more than money can buy......... But he always makes me feel like I do nothing. Like everything that I do is not important. Our middle child is labeled "LD" and our 3 year old is having the same problems. I spend many hours with the middle child.....it would be so much less if I worked full time days and would break my heart.

So how do I go about spliting up the bills down the middle?? I take care of the full household.........and work part time nights. How can I compete with a man whose had no children until he was 41? Me, since I was 23. We have been together 11 years. Unless I hit the lotto.....I can't make as much as he does. He always talks about how important everything that he does is.....which it is,.......he makes me feel like everything I do is nothing.

Please any advice would so much be appreciated!!!!!!