OK Ladies, This Is a Big question...all Advice Welcome!!

One thought comes to mind, and that's that plans change. 10 years ago, you had no idea of knowing what you'd be doing now, thus yor plans then, while maybe they made a good roadmap, are irrelevant now. As far as direction for prayer, maybe pray for discernment to see the path that will be most glorifying to God, and for a different choice to arise if neither of the two you've mentioned are the right one.

Does chiro school have to be NOW? Can it wait till all the kids are in school so you're freed up during the day to take a less draining job to supplement the family's income?

I want to mention the statement "I have also been getting sicker, mentally and physically..."

If being at home, alone for the most part while your DH is at school or work, is making you physically and mentally ill, how is it that you an affectively take care of your kids?

I applaud you for being a stay at home mom. I applaud your husband for trying to go to school and do what's best for his family. But what about YOU?

I know first hand how it is to be at home all day with munchkins and have your DH work all day and then come home and leave again for job #2 or to leave to "unwind" from working so many hours (anohter subject all together).

But being mentally and physically sick won't cure itself. And if the current living arrangement is what's making you ill, then I'd have to reevaluate what is best for EVERYONE...and that includes you.

I wish nothing but great things for you.

What if there were a middle ground? I am a stay at home mom of two kids. My husband works full time and is getting his MBA right now. We were very open in our discussion about if and when he should do this. I had a hunch that I was pregnant with my second when he brought school up. We discussed this and prayed about it. Our decision, which is the same criteria we use all things that take $, was that he could do it so long as there was no debt. We have never had debt. Even before we met neither of us had debt. I worked my way through school. His parents paid for his degree. No debt gives me a greater sense of security as a SAHM. Things may take longer to accomplish, but he can pursue his dreams while keeping us financially stable.

Whatever happens, make sure you calmly and lovingly express your feelings. Remember to be sure he understands that they are feelings. Sometimes our female feelings only represent the inside of our heads, not reality. Then remember to follow your husband's lead. He's the leader of your family. We are supposed to support them in their decisions. So long as he's not breaking a Biblical command, then you should follow his decision and no complaining or nagging in the future. Your job is to keep your home peaceful and half of that is in attitude. The kids will share your attitude towards dad. There are days I wish my husband were around more. I'm exhausted, I'd like to go to the store by myself, and I'd love to have my own car every day. However, these are my sacrifices for the peace of my home while my husband pursues his dream. I have to bite my toungue sometimes, but I remind myself that these feelings are fleeting. One day very soon we will be in a new season of life; God will give me the strength to endure the little things along the way.

one has to be flexible when raising a family. yes you might have to get a job outside of the home! it happens and your kids will be just fine! don't cross it off the list permanently and suffer as a result. you have to be open to all possible solutions. God answers prayers, but loves it when we are willing and flexible to do what He needs us to do.

I can't give you firt-hand advice, but I had a great friend who's husband went to Parker as well. He is finishing up this year and it has been a long, long haul for them. The program is unbelievably intense - even more then they warn you about. They are both very strong Christians, kids of pastors, both families were in town to help and support them, and they were friends for many years before they got married. They also have chosen to wait to have kids. So, basically, they were in a perfect place to do this and it almost cost them their marriage.

Be sure before you go into this that it is what you both want. You already know the downsides, so you have to be ready to accept them.

Open your hearts to God and he will speak to you and let you know what the right path is. For starters, Jesus is the right path and he will lead you in the right direction.

May God help you to work through this challenge. Best wishes,
C.

Glad you figured it out!! Sounds like you really did the best thing for your family! Good luck to you.

One sentence in your post got me thinking. Reread this first:

"BTW we are praying about it, but worry that we both want things so badly that we are unable to clearly decide what the answer to that prayer might be!"

Remember that you may WANT something and your husband may WANT something, but as soon as you started a family, your WANTS came second to your family's and your household NEEDS. You WANT to stay home, but if your family NEEDS food on the table and clothes on their backs (and a roof over their head that doesn't belong to someone else), you might not get what you WANT. The same thing goes for your husband. He may WANT to be a chiropractor, but his family NEEDS may not allow him to have that right now. And I'm not just talking about financial needs. His children need to have their father around to share their precious childhood moments. Once they are grown, you can't relive those moments.

There's no rule that says he has to do the program as quickly as possible or right away, right? Maybe he should take the classes slowly. This way, if he discovers that it's not what he thought it would be, you're family's not up to its eyeballs in debt for a career he's not going to have.

$150,000 is a LOT of student loan debt. I got out of college with about $20,000 in debt, which adds up to about $200 a month in repayments for the next 10 years. Imagine what your repayments would be if you had 7 times that much debt!! By the time you've repaid your husband's soon to accumulate student loan debt, you'll be ready to take on your own kids' college loan debt. He should consider paying as he goes rather than getting into that much debt. Yikes!

My husband is a Vet. and came our to school owing $88,000 he had his undergrad. paid for so that was just vet. school. Our payment are almost $600.00 a month which was
over $1,000, but we consolidated and went to a 30 year loan instead of 15. It is a lot of money and even if you make 150K a year with all other expenses it does add up. I think you need to very honest with him about how you feel. Maybe he can go to Parker part-time later when the kids are older. You have to make sacrifices when you have children and he needs to understand that as do you. Sounds like he has a great job with a great future. I have to friends that went to Parker and it is very intense. They have their own practice which they spend every waking moment at it because it is very hard starting your own business. The money if very unreliable at first so be prepared. They do not have children yet because she wants to stay at home and they are waiting for the practice to grow enought were he can run it alone. You hate to not support your husbands dreams so don't just squash the idea just explain to him that now is not the time to start all this maybe once all the kids are older then follow your dream for now help me out by being here. Keep praying just remember don't think about what you want let God lead you.