Oh Poop

Listen to S.H. it took my daughter almost a year to get over the constipation issues we had from holding and poop stress. Let it go. He will not go to college in diapers.

My daughter was exactly the same way. Stayed dry in her undies, used the potty to pee but asked for a diaper to poo in. (it was actually a pull-up not a diaper but we called it a diaper) I used to just give her a diaper and let her poo. Then I started to tell her she could have a diaper but only if she would sit on the potty while pooing in her diaper.

So after a few weeks of her pooing in a diaper while sitting on the potty, I secretly cut a hole in the diaper before I put it on her so the poo would fall in the potty. After the first time, I goofily pointed out that somehow the poo fell out of the diaper and into the potty and made a big exciting deal out of it. We said bye-bye to the poo and flushed it etc.

After that, all her diapers secretly had a hole in the bottom and eventually I was able to talk her into trying it without the diaper since the poo always fell into the potty somehow anyway. She would go back and forth, sometimes with the diaper with the hole and sometimes without any diaper at all but we always had the same exciting "yay! bye-bye poo poo" thing and it was fun. Also, whenever the poo ended up in the potty whether through the hole in the diaper or without a diaper, she always got her reward for going in the potty. It took her awhile to realize her diapers had a hole but by the time she did she was pretty comfortable with the idea of poo-in-the-potty so it didn't really phase her much to discover it.

From the time I started making her sit on the potty with her diaper to when we finally got rid of them was about a month. It was just a process to get her used to accepting the potty for pooing while still providing her whatever comfort or security the diaper gave her until she was ready to do without it.

Its better to have him poop.. even in in a diaper for now.... because if he gets constipated... then he will NOT poop at all in anything and it will cause pain internally and when it comes out... and then he will not poop at all. This is called "withholding"... when a child, HOLDS their poop. And this is then a MEDICAL problem... my daughter had that problem and we had to take her to a Specialist. A Pediatric Gastroenterologist.

Pooping... just causes stress and anxiety in some children.
The Specialist said, DO NOT FORCE them to poop in a toilet... because, once constipation develops, it can take MONTHS to remedy it. For my daughter, it took THREE months... and constipation is a medical issue and then an emotion based problem... because it actually HURTS... and then the child will avoid pooping. They then can develop "Encopresis" or bulging bowels or obstruction.

He WILL poop in a toilet... when ready.
Most kids, poop in a toilet... later. It being the later stage of toileting..

It seems to be fairly common. My daughter was the same. We offered a reward chart. After 10 stickers, one for each succesfull poo in potty, she could get something of her choosing at the Disney store. I think we went through 3 charts. There were times when she still insisted on the diaper but then no star on the chart. I wish I had thought about the idea with the diaper with a hole, though, that sounds like an excellent solution.

My son was like that. He is 3.5 and up untill about a month ago would poop in his pants but pee in the potty. I refused to put a diaper on him so we hadpoop messes a lot. Then he started preschool. I told him he is a big boy in school and has to poop on the potty. Ever since the day he started school he has not went in his pants once! Not in school or at home. I would take kitty b's advice though as i hear it works for some kids.

I was going to suggest what kitty said too.

Your approach sounds reasonable and encouraging, and your son will probably get there as soon as he's able. If he's used to pooping in a diaper while standing, the change in position is possibly uncomfortable for him, and that could definitely make him less eager to use the potty.

Do his stools seem dry and hard, or dry and "pebbly"? If so, he may have an easier time of it with more water and fruit in his diet, or with the addition of a stool softener for kids. My grandson will have difficult poops if he doesn't stay well hydrated. Does his pediatrician have any recommendations?

I haven't read it myself, but have hear the book It Hurts When I Poop recommended as a great help for many littles. Good luck.

He's still really young. Don't worry about it - this will sort itself out if you don't stress about it or harangue him.

We used the 3 day potty training method, and the author has some great suggestion on how to get your child to poop on the potty. If you like I can send you a copy of the ebook, just me email at ____@____.com.

If it hurts when he sits on the potty,
maybe the potty is the wrong height or shape or size for him.
Is he pooping normally in his diapers?
Is he constipated?
I wonder if he'd like climbing up on a stepstool
to sit on the big toilet w/a special attached seat.
If he knows ahead of time when he needs to poop,
I wonder if you can have a conversation with him about this.
Do any of your friends have the kind of seat attachment
that children can climb up to use?
Maybe you and DS could visit there some time soon
and see if he likes that better.
You would explain to him ahead of time why you're visiting there.

It just could be that he is just not ready but here are some suggestions;
Use the self contained potty seat, no rush
Read while on the potty to relax
Drink LOTS of water, if he is complaining it hurts
Read Elmo's Potty Time and view the DVD
Use a reward chart to see progress
Lot of Praise for success
A. T. Signshine.com

I teach potty training classes for my city and have come across a number of toddlers with this same challenge. First you have to check with the pediatrician to make sure he is not constipated. (medical issue) In my experience for most kids it is an emotional issue that becomes a physical issue. Some toddlers have a sense that the poop is a part of their body (because it is hard) and therefore have a hard time pushing it out. The longer they wait the more painful it will be if they are constipated. Other kids have "sensory issues" with the feeling of the poop in a diaper or pullup. They have a hard time with change. Other kids are afraid of the potty or the flushing. Others may have a hard time with the position of their body on the potty and prefer to "squat" with a diaper.

I suggest when your son goes in a diaper or pullup next time you take it off and show him where the poop goes (in the potty) make it a game and wave bye bye! Also make sure he is comfortable on the potty (those soft potty rings with handles are great so that they are comfy and have something to grip. I suggest you also have a step stool in front of the potty so they feel more stable and may be able to lean forward a little and push with their feet.
Just know that you are not alone and this is fairly common. If he doesn't go for days at a time I would definitely see a pediatrician for advice on diet and medications you can use to help.

My niece had this problem and my sister cut a hole in the diaper and called it the "magic diaper". When my niece had to go poop they put on the magic diaper and sat on the potty and had her say the magic words "abra cadabra" when she was going and the poop disappeared from the diaper and into the potty. They made it a game and a challenge and it worked for them.
My advice is not to stress out because then your son will be more stressed and it will make the situation worse. Give it time and he will get there. Good luck!
J.
http://www.pottytots.com

My son was the same way! Fully pee trained before 3 (turned 3 in May), but refused to go poop on the potty. We pretty much left it alone and didn't push the issue. I'd remind him that he should poop on the potty and he'd always say no. About 3 weeks ago he decided he was ready and has pooped on the potty everyday since!!! I recommend leaving it alone and letting him decide.

bribing with marshmellows worked for us... The babysitter started it, but it worked out well... When she went, she would get a marshmellow. I was really consistant for about a month, then she had to ask, then we ran out and I didn't buy any more for a while, which is how we weaned her off them... The little minis seem to work ok too, but the big ones were the best to start... especially since she doesn't get a lot of sweets...
Good luck!
R.