Offensive Answers??

I think some women are very passionate about how they feel. When you ask a question you get an answer from many different points of view and sometimes learn to see things from a whole new perspective.
I was recently called RUDE by someone who posted a question and didn't like my response. My response to her was in no way meant to be rude or disrespectful but that is how she took it. She sent me nasty emails and everything. I've been on this site for 5 years and that was the first time I'd ever been called rude. So my point is, maybe this particular person isn't trying to be rude, yet they ARE very opinionated (I know I am regarding certain subjects) and feel very strongly about what they choose to take their time and respond to. I certainly do. Otherwise, why would I even bother responding to a post unless I felt I had a good and helpful response. Know what I mean?
I don't think there is anything you need to do about it, if you don't like this/these persons responses, just don't read them!

I think if it is just a difference of opinion it can be left and ignored. But if what the person is saying is extremely critical, disrespectful and rude to a person and how they feel, it should be removed. It should be posters choice to a degree. Thank you!

What I love about this site is the diversity in answers. I really cant think of anyone that is rude 90% of the time and that would only be my personal perception of the answer anyway. If there is someone on here that you feel is rude 90% of the time that would be YOUR perception. Ive been here since it was mamasource and not one of the regulars here stands out as rude to me, again MY perception.
You have to remember how moody women are too. Each time we sit down here we either have something on our minds or we feel like reading and answering certain posts..... coming on here is an escape unlike reading a book. I would way rather be here reading some of this stuff and throwing my 2 cents in once in awhile than watching TMZ.
Right now I'm up with a hotflash and now waiting for Saturday Night Live to come on so I can hopefully laugh, be shocked or offended by what they have to offer as comedy. If I dont like it I will turn the channel :)
Some answers on here are awesome, some make me scratch my head, some make me laugh out loud and some make me sah OMG! It would be boring any other way.
You have to stay open minded thats for sure.
If someone is bothering you personally send them a note and maybe you can figure out where you clash with that particular person and get it settled or in your own mind you need to just tell yourself you agree to disagree with whatever that person says and definitely dont let it get to you.
I have never reported anyone's answer unless it was someone that was clearly abusing the site. There are NO wrong answers here and I dont think people should click the report button just because an answer rubbed you the wrong way, that is pretty childish if we have that going on.

If I felt that a particular person's responses usually push my buttons, I'd try to skip reading that person's responses. The way I see it, reading online responses is kinda like picking things at a buffet - you aren't obligated to take everything, so if you know a particular item usually doesn't agree with you, you don't have to put it on your plate ;-)

Sometimes one person's offense is another persons truth.

My biggest problem with moderated boards such as this is that there is in fact a moderator. I had a post pulled a long time ago, and all I did was be critical of Susy Orman. Critical thought was totally denied, all because someone was offended by it.

I've been on the internet since 1995. The first boards had no moderators. If you found someone to be a "tool," you just ignored them.

I prefer ignoring to reporting because like I said, who gets to be the God in determining what's offensive and what's not? Also, this board has a really wide range of woman, some really educated, some almost illiterate. Sometimes it's best to just give people the benefit of the doubt, and if they rub you wrong, then ignore them.

Our population here on Mamapedia is made up of a broad cross section of the United States and elsewhere...some are teen Moms...struggling to keep their heads above water...others are professional Moms with Nannies and Maids...others...like myself are Grandma's who are in the later stages of their lives. Not everyone is going to agree...if we did all agree...why on earth would anyone want to ask us a question...they would already KNOW what we are going to say!!! We have conservatives, liberals, Christians, Muslims, and athiests who are part of our little Mamapedia world...so of course our outlook is going to be different.
If you don't agree with someones opinions...ignore them...skip their answer if you know that you don't like what a particular person has to say. They will never know that they have struck a nerve...and you will not be upset.

Opinionated or rude responses don't bother me. Because of course, this is subjective. What might seems rude to one person is just straight talk to another.

To use the "report this" link, the post or response has to sound psychotic, downright aggressive, use curse words, use racial, gender, sexual, etc. slurs, or seems to be from a troll or minor.

I never EVER use private messaging to chastise or try to "change someone's ways".

I sure wish they had a frown face you could send instead of a flower sometimes... Now having said that, I kind of feel sorry for the haters. They must be very miserable to not be able to give constructive criticism instead of spewing hateful words. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a difference of opinion. But I do believe that we should be respectful of how we say things. Hence goes the old saying "Its not what you said, its how you said it".

If they are abusive I would report, if they are just stupid I would ignore. Not much point in arguing with a fool.

You may be translating passionate about a subject into being offensive to you.
Some people just have strong opinionated personalities and don't have the ability put it "nicely". Some topics ( breastfeeding, CIO, feeding solids early) just set people off.
If you don't like what they have to say , ignore them.
Also remember you can't hear tone of voice on a forum.

Okay, I know I am probably one of "those" moms. I tend to be very opinionated and know a lot about several topics. I have often got hate mails and usually don't even read my emails.

One time I did go to my account and read one. I was surprised at one answer and I will share that now. This person was having a problem with their mom and I felt really sad for the mom's mom. So I told the adult daughter that I thought she was out of line and more.The daughter wrote me an email and thanked me. She said she didn't realize how bad it seemed to others and that she was going to still love her mom and try to help her but that she was going to stop being so bossy to her.

When you post a question you are opening up yourself to people who don't agree with you to answer. That person may be a mom who has been in the same situation as you, they may have experience with a family member doing the same things, so many women are on here with different opinions.

You can expect moms to tell you when they see you doing something wrong. In their opinion.

I think making an infant cry for hours a horrible cruel thing. I think they should be turned in to child welfare for being cruel and inhumane. I think letting a baby cry for a few minutes to see if they'll go back to sleep is fine.

I think locking a child in their bedroom at night while they are awake and crying is cruel and inhumane. Then punishing them the next day by locking them in their bedroom for not going to sleep on time is cruel. I think putting your kids to bed isn't always easy but there are things one can do besides locking the kids up so they can go watch TV or have alone time withe their husband.

I have a lot of years in child care and can almost always find the regulations for an area and state law about most child care questions. I have a lot of years experience in working with people with developmental disabilities and can tell people about different ways to think about their loved ones school meetings and other issues with helping them.

I often come across rude. Sometimes I type and type then read my answers and then go back and re-write it to make is more acceptable. Then sometimes I am really annoyed at the person treating someone the way they are writing and tell them so.

But still, all answers are acceptable here. As long as there is not name calling and innuendo about inappropriate things. It's an open forum for ALL to answer. If you don't like an answer move on the next one and then next one.

Hi Mama
I often thought of this myself and I see some like you described,a small minority.
As soon as I see their name I am thinking " oh,what is she going to say".
Also I think if their answer gets to the extreme offensive then the report button can be pushed. Otherwise I will put it down to all the different personalities that make up this site.
I am usually an advocate for speaking up but in this case I think I am going to ignore and just not send a flower. I don't want to get into an online war!!
All the best
B.

KiwiMama, I agree with the other ladies that differences in opinion should be welcome. Sometimes I read things that I think are actually dangerous, like telling someone not to have surgery because it's primative - I'm still shocked over that one, considering the woman who needs the surgery may actually have cancer. I DID report that one, because I felt so strongly about how dangerous that post is, but Mamapedia didn't delete the post. So for people who think that just reporting a post gets something removed, not so. The moderator makes the decision when he or she looks at it.

Sometimes there are people who are so nasty. Some of those folks are gone from the site because they don't like being told to play nice. There are some ladies here who are very matter-of-fact. I actually like that, unless they are using the words "get over it", which really bothers me. For women whose husbands are catting around behind their backs, it HURTS me to see posters tell them that if they were a better wife, their husband wouldn't look at another woman. (I don't report that - I just think it's awful to say when there is NO indication of it in that in the post.)

I also read women's posts who are so passionate about certain things, and sometimes in their passion, are a bit harsh. But I don't always think they mean to be that way - it just comes out in their excitement. I am probably guilty of that too.

If you believe someone is so offensive and extreme, I think you would be doing the entire forum a favor by reporting the person each time you feel he or she is totally over the top. Either they would appreciate it because they haven't figured out that they are too rude, or they will not like it but tone it down, or they will leave the site.

All my best,
Dawn

I like to read the answers and if I find one I don't agree with or I think is way off, I just ignore it. If I think they showed great insight, I send a flower. If they are really over the top (abusive, cursing, or extremely hostile), I have reported them just twice in like 4-5 years.

From reading some posts yesterday, I guess I missed a doozy because they pulled the question as well as all the responses.

If you find someone's answer offensive (abusive, off-topic, etc) then you can report that response. There is a button for that on the same line where you would send someone a flower, send them a message, etc, right under their response. If you simply disagree with a person's stance, that is probably not a good reason to report them, but an abusive response is. I hope that helps.

I've been known to be somewhat opinionated myself and I have received my share of hate mail at times.

This place would not be a good forum if we all thought alike. However, I try to keep in mind that anything I type, I would say to the face of the person asking the question. I do think a lot of people hide behind the computer screen to sound off on someone.

Everyone has an opinion and if we don't like what someone says, just move on, don't attack, if it is really offensive...report it.

i would hit the report button and complain i have done it on one girl and we may be talking about the same girl. or send her an email letting her know but i thinkthe report button is better

Some people need a dose of honest reality, but I doubt that's what you are talking about. Moms on here are looking for support, and ideas, and are really trying their best to navigate through motherhood, parenting, and being a wife when there is no instruction manual. The best we can do is ask for help and be open to everyone's opinoin. A person that consistently posts negative comments and attacks is probably not a very happy person, and likely is not very successful at being a wife and a mother, so her advice should be ignored anyway. Take advice from people you can look up to, people you aspire to be like in someway... people who make you a better person.
If someone posts something you don't agree with, move on. If someone posts something that is truth, but is spoken too harshly, read it, think about it, and move on. If someone posts something simply to be mean, demeaning, and rude, click the report button at the bottom of their post. It will be reviewed by mamapedia and will be removed if they agree with you. If they are reported enough, their account will be revoked. This is a place to get support, and there are rules of conduct that are supposed to be followed. The only way they can enforce the rules though is if people report offenders.
If you are brave enough, you can send the person an email letting them know what you thought of their post. I say brave, because you may likely be attacked yourself after that.

In the case of the teens that were on here I asked the people who run this site to ban the URLs. In the case of moms who are offensive, I ignore it.
And what you find offensive may not be to me, it may be very helpful.

Just ignore it. Unless it is a perv or a troll-then report.

some ppl just feel very passionate about certain subjects. Its all how you interpret them. I would just ignore them. If you see the persons name just skip over it. Don't even read it. This site is for your questions and no question is ever stupid. So if this person bothers you then report them. I know how you feel. Some ppl on here can make you feel down right stupid for asking a question. And some answers can be very hurtful. But like I said report them if you find it offensive.

I report them as inappropriate and explain that I find it rude and offensive or pretty much completely unsupportive. I too hate the "your too sensitive" answer because chances are those people have said or done something rude. I treat people on here how i would want to be treated and if it takes some overexplaining then that's what it takes.

I take it with a big grain of salt - or just flat out ignore it. This is a group of moms from all over the U.S. Our country is split nearly 50/50 on most of the big political issues right now. So...It does not surprise me that people disagree on here but it is interesting to hear different viewpoints.

Well some people are just too sensitive and cant handle the truth, what you should really be asking yourself is am "I" a good person, a,m "i" doing all that i can. Dont you realize that there is no margin for error in motherhood?, You cant follow the wrong book, advice or road and remain a good person. Your best ISNT good enough unless its right. Go dig a hole and put your head in it for not being able to just instinctively know what to do.

hahaha, just kidding, yeah i hate those answers too.

I joined this site to help and learn. I don't know about the rest of the Mom's on here but I don't feel that anyone has the right to criticize someone else especially when you don't know that person or their situation. There is a report button for a reason. I look at this site like I look at the world there are rules and laws for a reason and if we turn a blind eye to people that brake them we are saying it is OK to act or speak in a rude way with no consequences. I just don't think it is helpful to be mean. They put a report this as inappropriate for a reason so I think that is the way to go. If someone is rude in a response and other Mom's want to directly contact them in a private message that is fine too but we can't delete or remove their posts only the owner or moderator can. This site can and is very helpful most of the time and yes we all have a right to express our opinion but I don't think we have the right to judge or be rude or down right mean to people when we haven't walked in their shoes and we don't have all the facts. So to answer you what would I do I would report them with an explanation as to why I think what they said is inappropriate!

Wow, lots of good responses to this question! One thing to keep in mind is that a written response doesn't have the voice inflection. That can change the whole meaning of what someone is trying to get across. I had my mother in law get upset over an email I sent and couldn't figure out why. When I called her and we talked about it the "humor" I typed came across wrong without her being able to hear the sarcasm in my voice. If I think something might not sound right I try to read it through a few times before hitting the send (or post) button so I can adjust the "tone" of what I'm saying.

I don't like reading posts from people who insult others, and I work hard at not ever being rude. Sometimes it just comes out that way without meaning to. I do however get a kick out of some who are so far off the mark, so wacko, and crazy. I love to read them to my husband and see his response. I think we all like to feel as if we know it all,(I really do yaknow..wink wink) or at least more than someone else. And love to scream out loud "WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?" We all have differeent opinions and come from different places where certain behavior is acceptable and some is not. If someone was to be extremely nasty, mean, hurtful, or use filthy language I might be tempted to report them just so I know I tried to do my part to clean them up a bit. But for the most part I just let it go. I bet most of us have at times read a question, and wanted to tell them how stupid they are acting and get our own frustrations off our chest. Doing so at someone else's expense is just not right and most of us have enough self control to just look past it and move on. I do feel pretty much the same as GrandmaT in a lot of ways. (wish she was my neighbor) So just try to ignor the name that sets you on edge, unless it is so unacceptable you just need it to be reported. Then move on and let them live thier miserable life by themself.

Hi :) I could have wrote your post! It's hard not to to feel offended when someone is plain rude in their answer even if it is their opinion. Knowing I will never actually meet the person helps so I would say just ignore it. There are a bunch of interesting people out there :)

Don't read the responses if they bother you. This forum is to get a broad sampling of people's opinions/viewpoints/advice. If someone cannot handle hearing it, they shouldn't post their questions on this type of forum. If someone takes the time out of their schedule to respond to a question, then they felt it needed to be said. Not everyone expresses themselves the same way, we are all our own people. You need to have a thick enough skin to let things that bother you, bounce off - and except it for what it is - someone's opinion. In the end you decide what you want to do with it.