Nursing on Demand Becoming Way Too Demanding

Jamie,
I just transitioned my 8 month old daughter into her crib from my bed. I love co-sleeping and I actually miss waking up and seeing her but my husband insisted our daughter get out of our bed before she turned 1. What worked with us was sticking to the same routine every night. At the same time every evening I change her into her pjs (sing and talk gently while I do this) and then I lay her in the crib. I put the paci in her mouth and play classical music. I stand by her crib for about 5 minutes and then walk away quietly. She cried for the first 3 nights on and off and now she's asleep within the 5 minutes I'm standing by the crib.
It takes a lot of patience. The most horrible part was hearing her cry but I kept telling myself it was for her own good. I guess the advice I have for you is to find a routine and stick to it and only nurse her when she's hungry, not to comfort her. Every mom is different and you'll find what is right for you.
I am also a SAHM who never gets a break! I know exactly what you're going through and sometimes I just crave an adult conversation. When I get a few minutes I write down some thoughts or read a book which, helps me unwind during naps.
Good Luck & God Bless!

I understand your situation, there is hope. Continue to breast feed, she is growing and needs you, you are her rock, her comfort, and she trusts you. Enjoy these moments as crazy as they may seem. DON"T listen to anyone who may try to convince to to switch to formula!! Goodness if you are able to breast feed continue to do so!! The benefits out weigh all the information about formula hands down! With that being said, look into the book The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley, I swear reading this will definitely help you get her back into a routine and you into a routine that you both can live with and if you want to, into her own crib for the duration of the night. I did the same thing you did with our first, nurse her till she fell asleep, transfer her into her crib and then at some point she woke up and needed me to go back to sleep. We did the co-sleeping option for a while, but it wasn't really working out for all of us, so we tried to put her in her own crib. Needless to say we did get past this little phase, but each baby is different DO read the book, really, check it out of the library or buy it, it's not that expensive and it is WELL worth the time and investment into reading. Take care and good luck! Don't worry, she will in turn get better and sleep through the night and give you the needed rest you need.

A. B

The key with "attachment parenting" and "the family bed" and this kind of thing is *balance*. I nursed on demand as well, and nursed both of my boys to sleep, but neither of my kids did this rapid sleep-wake cycle. However, when my younger son was about 20 months old, and was *still* waking up 1-3x a night to nurse, I was getting very tired of it, so started refusing to nurse him at night, and then ended up weaning him altogether. It was a rough go for a while, because he didn't understand why all of a sudden I wouldn't let him nurse, but after we got past that rough part, he began sleeping all through the night.

I also noticed sometimes with both of my kids (at 4-6 *weeks* of age with my older son, and somewhere around 7-9 months w/my younger son), that they slept better in their cribs. I think I was waking up my baby with my sleep movements, or I would awake too easily when he stirred but did not wake up. So, although I planned on having him in bed with me, he was transitioning to the crib by 1-2 months old. With my younger son, there were times when he would nurse and then stop, but not go to sleep, and I finally figured out by his movements that he was saying, "Ok, mom, it's time for me to go to my crib so I can fall asleep, 'cause this ain't working any more" -- but there were still plenty of times that he *did* fall asleep nursing, and *did* want to nurse to sleep.

The only way to change a habit is one day at a time. She's in the habit now of expecting you to nurse her at the drop of a hat, and while that was okay for a time, it's now out of balance, to where you're getting exhausted. It's okay to restore some of that balance and tell her no. You're not a bad parent if you do (and in fact, never telling your kids no is not being a good parent -- it's letting the kids be selfish and ride all over you) -- the key again is balance.

You can totally change your bed-time routine, or you can ease into it. You can still nurse her to sleep (lying in bed, or sitting in a rocking chair), and then instead of leaving her in bed, put her in her crib. Since you know she's not nursing out of hunger, I would suggest that if she wakes up in the first couple of hours, that you just pat her gently, let her know you're there, and tell her that she's not going to nurse, but she needs to go back to sleep, and leave the room, going back in in a few minutes. I'm not suggesting "cry it out" (and there's a book called "No Cry Sleep Solutions" that I've seen suggested, but haven't read myself), just suggesting that you gently get her (and you) to change habits so that she knows that she won't get to nurse every half hour, and so that you can get some much-needed sleep.

If you only nurse her every 2-4 hours (whichever you feel comfortable with, and feel free to be flexible), then she'll eventually recognize that there is no point in waking up and getting up since she's not going to get any nursing, and will probably sleep longer. But it will probably get a bit worse before it gets better -- she will protest this change, and demand to nurse, and cry, and you will get less sleep for several nights and perhaps longer. If you stick it out, there will be a time when it ends. But if you keep doing what you've been doing, you're going to keep getting what you've been getting.

Part of your baby's attachment may simply be personality. Both of my boys are "mama's boys" but my younger one is **much** more so. He's now over two years old, and although he's perfectly happy with his dad or with my mom, if I'm in the room, he wants to be with me, and he follows me around like a shadow a lot of the time (if he's not playing with his big brother, which does happen a lot of time). And he's always been more clingy. When I leave him with my mom or husband (which isn't often), he's usually just fine and acts like he doesn't even know I'm gone, but if I'm in the house, then he just wants me. So, you may just need to leave her with your husband for an hour or two on weekends and go to the grocery store, and see how she does -- probably just fine.

I think your solution of putting her into her crib is a great one -- and the only way I know of to do it, is just to do it. She'll get used to it, and then things will be much better.

Check out the book,"The no cry sleep solution". I forget who it is by, but she co-slept and nursed with all four of her kids. She has great solutions for all the challenges you are going through. You are doing the right thing, so don't feel like you are doing anything wrong. There comes a time in your life when you want to reclaim your life, and your body from time to time, from your children. Good luck with it all, as I know change can be hard on mommy and baby.

I, too, am a nurser on demand. Sometimes it isn't too demanding and others... well let's just say I understand your pain. I have started pumping and bottle feeding during the day so that my husband or others can participate in feeding and I can get somewhat of a break. I am also a co-sleeper who is getting ready to start the transition to crib(which is in our room). There are nights that he eats continuously and nights that he only eats once. Whatever it is, growth spurts or comfort, as much as I love it it will wear you out. So we have started breastfeeding while standing up with the baby in my arms in the lay down position. This is tricky and tough at first(he is 9 months). I walk around and he nurses and when he slips off the breast to start his sleep I lay him on my shoulder and continue to walk until he drifts back into sleep. We put him into bed and tuck him in, like you. If or when he wakes back up we try the pacifier 1st with gentle rocking with our hands without getting him up. Have your husband try this 1st if it appeals to you. If you have to get her up and walk with her again for a bit. We've stopped laying down to nurse except when we are both down in the middle of the night. And, there are occasions where my husband gives the bottle at those times when he wakes up 40 minutes after going to bed. This has been helpful. I'm not so locked down and he is sleeping longer. I do have to pump every 3-4 hours to keep up with demand. And, I do nurse occasionally in between. Your little one will step up her solid intake soon, probably, and this will help you. Our little one is currently teething and is refusing most of his food... I also think he is getting ready for a texture change. You are doing the right thing by nursing, but I understand you wanting a change. Hopefully, some of what we tried will help you. It is nice that I'm not the only who can put my little one to sleep anymore and that I"m not locked into being the only one to feed him. As for going out...? Load up with the bottles and get a friend to take for an hour or two. We don't have family either and daycare is not an option for us. Dad and I take turns and friends save my life one hour at a time by taking our guy for walks or sitting with him while I sleep for 30 minutes. That is great for us. And, my single friends get their baby fix(lol). Good luck with whatever you decide to do, but one other responder had a good idea... mothering.com. Also, yahoo.com in the newborn Q&A section will offer lots of good advice.

J.,

Nursing on demand can be trying, particularly when a child goes through a growth spurt and want to nurse every hour and a half. Fortunately she is also eating some solids. That should help. Is she eating solids before bedtime so that she may not wake up as soon as she would if just nursing before bed?

I feel for you because bringing a baby into your bed at night to nurse while you sleep is a sanity saver - at first. Then they want to have you next to them at all times! One thing to try is putting an article of clothing that you wore that day (i.e., your shirt) into the crib with her. Some children will wake up and then be okay because they smell your scent on the clothing in their crib and go back to sleep. That is one option. At this point it seems you are desperate for sanity (I've been there and I feel for you) - so, could you put a music CD in her room. Really, to have your peace at night and bed without a child music isn't so bad if it gets her to sleep.

Not having family in the area does make it difficult. Do you belong to any mothers groups? Or do you participate in any activities during the week that would allow her to get to know other little ones while you have a few minutes of adult conversation? If not and you need a few ideas, you can correspond back to me.

T.

the best advice i can give you is that you are going to have to get the baby a crib in your room or in the childs own room and you are going to have to let the child cry it out which isnt very fun but if you know that they baby is in its crib safe with whatever it needs then you shouldnt have to worry. you should put the baby down like an hour before you expect a bed time and then give nite nite kisses etc walk out and close the door from time to time you should peek in if you hear an alarming scream just to make sure the child isnt hurt but honestly this may seem bad at first but eventully itll work itself out.

At six months she defintely doesn't need to nurse that often in the night for nourishment. If she's waking up that often it sounds like a sleep issue--she's waking up and can't fall back asleep on her own so she wants you.
Have you heard of the book Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child? When our daugthter was about 5 months old she kept waking up and I would nurse her back to sleep. My pediatrician basically told me that I was creating a monster. Anyway, I got that book and just focused on the sleep part first. I will admit I did have to let her cry it out two nights but it only lasted ten minutes. My mother in law made me feel like a terrible mother but within a week she was sleeping through the night and did not need to nurse until morning.
My little girl also had a difficult time transitioning to her bed. The book I suggested also discusses this. Attachment parenting moms would probably scorn me but we would let our daughter cry. She would cry about 15 minutes before she fell asleep. But she would wake up as happy as can be. This lasted for a while. Now, she is a wonderful sleeper. I put her in her crib and she goes right to sleep. She is also a very secure and happy child. Letting her cry did no damage and eventually made our family much happier!

Ditto the other advice, and a couple of things you may want to try.

Up the solid food to an extra feeding in the evening.
Pump some milk for her and go take a break, you NEED that and in fact it's good for the kids too!!
You might want to start having her sleep at least part of the night in her own environment, just to give yourself a break and a smidgeon more sleep!
Every 30-45 minutes seems like she might not be filling up during her nursing, at six months old, but try several things that will work best for you and family. If you could find a way to stretch her times to a couple hours between feedings would give you some relief.
I believe in bf as long as you and baby are doing well with it.
Also I just had a thought, and I'm sure you're probably taking care of yourself, but make sure you're not anemic, or have any vitamin deficiencies.
Best of luck and keep us posted.

My little one is almost 3 but I remember those days. It can be very exhausting! I was afraid it would never end ... but it does. It gets easier. I promise!
I would recommend the No-Cry Sleep Solution, as well. I has wonderful advice specifically for your current situation. It's so wonderful to be able to nurse on demand and co-sleep, but can, at times, be very hard on Mommy. It will get better...hopefully soon.

Honey, there's nothing wrong with supplementing! Especially with all the Dha and such that they put into formula. I promise you that the baby has gotten the good nutrients by now from breast milk, that you won't be hurting anything. Nursing is such a wonderful bond, and there's nothing to say you have to stop! You can train your body to nurse when YOU want. There are so many moms that go back to work, and decide to only nurse in the morning and at night. They train their body to only produce milk at those times. You'll go thru a couple of days/week, of engorgement, and it will be really really hard to not express to relieve pressure, but eventually your body will comply. I know it was harder on me to stop, than it was for any of my children, when I finally decided to quit for good! I nursed my now 7 year old son for a year, but only nursed my now 3month old, for 2 months. It was just to hectic when I went back to work. Plus I'd gotten breast implants inbetween babies and the implants caused some problems with one breast. But that's a whooooole nother story!!! Anyway, just my opinion! Just something to think about!! Hope it helps!

How about letting her cry. After a night or 2 she will get used to it. You might also want to try getting her on a schedule. After all breakfast, lunch and dinner are at regular times.
My son is on a schedule. He eats every 3-4 hours from 7am to 8pm, his waketime and bedtime. At 8pm, he gets a bath, eats and then he goes to bed in his room where he sleeps. I get good sleep. A routine helps them to learn days and nights and what to expect. What's easier at the time, is usually more difficult later.

Hey Jamie~
My son just turned 3 months today, so I'm not as far a long, but I had gotten into the bad habit of falling asleep on the couch with him nursing in the middle of the night and waking up there in the morning.
To stop this, I have started pumping and feeding him extra before bed...he was/is a big guy from the start, so he needed more milk. Now he sleeps from about 7-7 and wakes up about once...he sleeps in his crip. When he wakes I turn on the hall light and barely crack the door. He eats a bottle of my milk at that time also MUCH QUICKER than he could ever nurse and is back in his crib in 1/2-1 hr.
Good luck!

There were three things that made my babies want to nurse more frequently.
#1 If my milk supply was low because I was not eating enough, drinking enough fluids, and/or not getting enough rest. Babies nurse frequently to increase your milk supply.
#2 If the baby was going through a growth spurt and was hungrier than normal. In that situation I would increase the amount of cereal and baby food you are giving the baby. She may need to eat three meals a day and a snack before bedtime. Try increasing her food and see if that helps.
#3 When they were teething they wanted to nurse more often. Have you ever had a tooth ache--it is miserable. Nursing is comfort for a teething baby. Check the baby's gums to see if you see or feel any teeth coming in. She may need a little motrin or tylenol at bedtime if her gums are hurting because she is teething.

It sounds like you also need some more rest. Try napping when the children are napping and take care of yourself. You can nurse the baby at night and ask your husband to move her to her crib after she falls asleep. You can nurse the baby and put her in her crib during the day at naptime. I don't think there is anything wrong with nursing her laying down. It sounds like you need some rest and that will give you some rest too.

When you need a break talk to your husband. It does not hurt the baby to be fed a bottle for a night and your milk will not dry up doing it. Take a night when your husband does not have to work the next day and have him feed the baby a bottle. You go to sleep and get some rest. It sounds like you need it.

I kind of did the same thing with my kids - only one of them was "demanding" but hindsight being 20/20, I realize that he was only "demanding" what he was used to! I spoiled him, so I had to UNspoil him! It is always alot easier to lay in the bed with them and let them sleep that way, but like you've learned, it gets to be too much as they grow. I basically HAD to stop nursing him when I found out I was unexpectedly pregnant with #3 and nursing more than 2-3 times a day can cause miscarriages within the first trimester. I basically quit cold turkey with him, but he was 13 months old by then, and was only nursing when sleepy. So he just had to cry it out! I think the younger they are when you do that, the easier it is for them to adjust. It may take days or weeks on end, but only feed her sitting up, then lay her down, whether awake or asleep. If she cries, she cries! I wish I had learned that earlier than I did. My youngest learned to self-soothe alot easier and never sucked her thumb or a pacifier! Sometimes it is the baby's personality, b/c my older son wasn't as clingy to me as the younger, but I know what you mean - when you can't even go GROCERY shopping at night by yourself while hubby watches the kids, it is ridiculous! I actually used to look forward to grocery shopping!!!

Anyway, there are many different theories and books and advice on how to wean them off of that habit, read them all til you are cross-eyed and try what seems like it will work, then try something else if it doesn't. She took 6 months to get trained into this habit, so it may take that long to untrain her! Whatever you decide to do, be consistent about it for at least a few weeks (what do they say - 21 days to make/break a habit?) before trying something else. I am sure she will adjust herself and she will still love you no matter what! :)

Hey Mama~
My son is now 26 months and we are just started the transition to his own bed a couple months ago. He is still nursing...yes I nurse him to sleep. He starts the night in his own bed and then about half way through the night he comes into our room. You are doing a great job mama...nursing on demand is a tough job...but it is really exactly what your baby needs. The strong attachment that your baby has to you now is extremely healthy. I would strongly recommend checking out the message boards at mothering.com...the mamas there will offer you a ton of support...not saying the mamas here won't...but there are entire forums for co-sleeping and nursing. Now about getting yourself a break....every mama needs one. Leave the baby with your husband...or a trusted friend if you want him to come along....a take a break...every mama deserves one. Keep up the hard work mama. Best of luck...oh...and mama...this too shall pass.

Hi! well it won't be super easy at this point, but the best route to take is forming new habits. I can tell you that I was one of those new moms (3 times) who needed some time for myself desperately, and the breastfeeding takes a toll on personalities such as mine! I just wasn't built for the constant nature of it long term. Don't beat yourself up if you need a break, it's very natural to feel that way! Confirm with your pediatrician, it is perfectly fine at 6 mos to supplement with formula if you need to. And as for the sleeping, she will get used to her own bed if she's exposed to it enough. Start putting her down for every nap and gradually extend it to nighttime. You may have a few rough starts, but it will save you sleep exponentially after she gets used to it (and SHE will sleep better in her own bed too probably, seeing that she's waking up consistently and needing to nurse to get back down). After a week or so, she will have developed her new habit and everyone can get some sleep. Good luck!

Unfortunately co-sleeping is a bad habit to break. I was unable to continue nursing my son after 5 weeks as I had abdominal surgery. A few months ago I took up the habit of taking naps with him since our landlord won't fix our air conditioner and my bedroom was cooler than his. Bad mistake. After about a week he screamed every night when we'd lay him down at bedtime. So.... I let him scream one night for about 5 minutes. I cried the whole time. He was so worn out from crying that he snivelled and choked on snot in his sleep. Since then I still take a nap with him once every other day (instead of two or three times a day) and he goes to bed fine on his own unless his teething is bothering him.
I'll try not to make this too long- I heard one mom say that she held baby for a few nights till he fell asleep, then put him in his crib. The next few nights she sat in a rocker next to his crib until he fell asleep, and did not pick him up when he cried, just patted and soothed him, then over the next few nights moved the rocker farther and farther away from his crib until he didn't need her in there to go to sleep. I should have tried this!

I'm not sure if this will help either but have you introduced your daughter to the cup yet? I've been using the Gerber NUK bottles and nipples, and when I introduced my son to the cup (only with juice mixed with water, for now) it was only a matter of days before he figured out how to empty it in a matter of minutes. Maybe slowly weaning your baby girl from depending on you for fluids and comfort will help. I might try these things seperately from each other, since babies who are often learning a new skill (like crawling) tend to be more excitable and wake up more often at night.

I appreciate & feel for you J.! First you have to know that you're not helping you or your precious little one by wearing yourself out like that. If she's being nursed 'on demand', she's using that as a pacifier to get mommy to jump at her every cry, which is unhealthy for both of you. As hard as it may seem, your little one needs to be able to cry herself back to sleep when she wakes up like that. It's not a cruel method, just reality. If she has no health issues (ear infections, colic, etc.) and you feed her before she goes to sleep at night, letting her cry herself back to sleep won't hurt her any. Typically this would only take a few nights of doing and she will realize that when it's nighttime - and believe me they know - it's time to sleep.

You've gotten lots of good advice already, but just wanted to let you know it does get better...sort of! My daughter did the same thing...she is now eight months old and I'm glad I kept going (most of the time!). Currently she nurses anywhere from 2 times a night up to 5 or so...just depends. I think most of the time it is due to her teething. She will have several rough days and then it will ease off and she sleeps much better. She was up about every hour around six months, especially when she was teething...now I can nurse and or rock her to sleep (if she doesn't fall asleep nursing) and lay her down in our bed and she will usually sleep until after I come to bed...anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours or more...just depending on the day. Anyway...she has gotten much better. I think of moving her to her crib every month...but it never happens...I think I secretely enjoy her company...

Havnt had time to read other responses but I think I know what you are feeling. My daughter was much the same way - very attached, slept with me, nursed a lot even through the night at 6 months old. Let me tell you, what made me change things was that I was done. Too tired and overstretched to continue this. So I decided to train her to sleep in her crib all night and slowly decreased the feedings through the night. It worked. Now she sleeps 11 plus hours every night and never wakes up. It was hard but completely worth it. Not only do I get a break, but she sleeps better in her crib. Now she points to her crib to go to sleep too! She loves her crib. I did have to let her cry and just visited her every 15 mins or so. I would lay her back down and give her the paci that she threw on the floor and said "night night." This lasted for a few days. It is hard. Completely worth it. I dont regret a thing. Hang in there. It does get easier.
L.

My guy was also very attached, and wanted me round the clock. He is also still a terrible sleeper at 10 mos so I feel your pain. Some nights I get no sleep! At about 6 mos is when I stopped nursing him in the night though (on my dr's suggestion), and he did pretty well with it. I would still go to him and do all the usual things, but just didn't nurse him. If this doesn't work because she is used to you feeding her, maybe your husband could try for a few nights. I think "on-demand" is really important when they are very young, but not at six months.

You should definitely go out, even just to get a pedicure or something. It won't hurt her to be without you for an hour. She doesn't need to nurse as frequently as she used to and she can eat solids if she is truly hungry. Once an hour sounds more like a pacifier thing, or else she is not getting enough milk and needs more solids- how is her growth? I had a really hard time allowing myself to even delay feedings at this stage because my milk was not as plentiful as it was, and I always worried about my milk supply. But it is important to get your sleep and some time to relax. My problem has always been with consistency, and even now, we are trying to change my son's sleeping issues from this. Whatever solution you choose, you need to be consistent, stick with it no matter what even when you just want to give in to get some sleep. And if it is important to you that she sleep in her bed, it is good you are trying to do it now- it only gets harder as they get older. I think the crib is going to help a lot, both with her sleep issues and your sanity. I hope things get better for you soon. I know how it feels to be so tired!

I would suggest reading The No-Cry Sleep Solution. It doesn't always work for everyone (obviously, nothing does), but it has TONS of suggestions for things to try in this kind of situation. Also, read up on the website Ask Moxie, which has a lot of mom-to-mom support for sleep difficulties, which there are a ton of in this world! =)

I was with you all the way, we had HUGE sleep troubles, there was a whole month in there where my son would be awake for 2 or 3 hours almost every single night, and now he's 2 and has begun to transition to his own bed by himself, and almost night weaned himself, and sleeps SO MUCH BETTER than I thought possible when he was a baby. (I say "almost" because I still know that when he's going through a big growth spurt or is fighting off a cold, I can expect him to nurse waaaay more than the average day and/or night.)

Good luck and here's hoping you get some sleep!

You may have to let her cry a bit at nap time. You can nurse her down but in a rocking chair or just sitting down on the couch. Do not lay down with her anymore. In the begining I think we all do it b/c we are SOOO tired but you have to break it now b/c it will become more of a habit. At night time you will have to have your husband put her down, maybe with a pumped breast milk bottle. Or, you can nurse her out on the couch and then give her to your husband to go and lay her down. I tried doing things differently with our 2nd b/c I fell into that trap with our first. I would nurse in the living room in front of the tv so it was noisy and maybe she would not fall asleep then I would pass her off to my husband. He would lay her down, pat her, rub her back, sing to her (all while she laid in the crib). She would cry and he would leave for 5 mins and then go back and rub, sing, pat, etc then go back after 7 mins, etc then 9 mins, etc In 3 days she was GREAT! To this day you lay her down and she rolls over and goes to sleep. It is magic!

We only ever put our kids in our bed when they were sick and I wanted to watch them or if they had gas and I needed to rub them, etc If not having a family bed is what you want, then you have to change it now or it will become a habit. good luck

Hi - I just thought I would tell you that as my mom is a pediatrician - she contsantly was on my back to get my daughter to sleep by herself - using the Ferber Method - Or Farber - but I didn't and she still crawls into bed with me and she is 8!!
So, I am sure my mom was right about this one - as moms usually are - but I used everything she was going through as a reason to keep her in bed with me. The only thing I regret is a lot of sleepless nights!
____@____.com

Hmmmm, my babies are 1 and 3 now, and whenever they were/are nursing like that it means they were 1) super-hungry (either in a growth spurt or I'd slacked off my liquid intake and my milk supply was down) or 2) uncomfortable (like teething, allergies, earache, what have you). It was always something like that. I remember getting very frustrated at having a baby permenantly attached to my boob and getting a wild hair to supplement or wean or let him cry it out. And then, viola, the reason for the nurse-a-thon would become obvious or resolve itself.

So my advise is... trust the baby. She knows what she's doing. She probably has a very good reason and would be glad to share it with you if she could, you know, talk :).

By the way, your description of how you put baby down at night is EXACTLY how I do my 13 mo old. I felt guilty about it being a bad habit with the older son, but now I've just decided that God must have made babies get sleepy when they nurse on purpose and who am I to fight a winning strategy? The three yr old doesn't nurse to sleep anymore (grew out of it all by himself) so I can testify that it isn't forever. Don't let others make you feel guilty about doing what works. (The alternative is doing what doesn't work. How much sense does that make?)

The crazy nightwakings is almost certainly due to one of the things listed at the top or, like you hypothesize, a reaction to all her awesome developmental leaps. She's so excited about being mobile, etc. that she can't sleep. If so, it's a phase; she'll grow out of it.

And, honey, it's obvious you are making every effort to be a good mom to those girls. And you're getting a little burned out. Remember to take care of yourself, too. Seems like an LLL leader once told me that you could safely skip one nursing a week without adversly impacting your supply. So maybe make a date with yourself to leave the girls with their dad once a week and catch a movie or go shopping or do a crossword at the local starbucks or something. Just to retain a sense of self and recharge your batteries.

This doesn't begin to address all the questions in your request, but it's already a novel so I'll wrap up. Deep breath, Mom. You're doing great. The girls are thriving. It's a lot of work, but this too shall pass.

Kiss the baby for me,
L..

I have a neighbor who has done this with her daughter. She is four and takes melatonin to go to sleep and wakes up ALL night long. She too is exhausted and wishes she had not have allowed her in her bed. She is hoping she will outgrow it when she starts school.

Hi J., we are in the same boat as you. I only nurse my daughter after she wakes in the day, but she sleeps with us and wakes about three times a night and nurses. She rolls over and goes right back to sleep though. I went through this with my first born too. It may have been a phase with my older one ... but it lasted months and months. With my first, I would just take a nap when he did ... I don't have the same luxery with my second!

I don't have a solution for you, because I didn't like the alternatives that were suggested for me ... like letting them cry it out until they don't expect it anymore. I guess one thing I did with my older son when he was old enough ... I offered him water instead. It is not as appealing to wake up for! It took awhile for that to work though.

Good luck - it is such a short time in the scheme of things ... and it will get easier.

D.
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Hi Jamie! I completely understand your pain. My son is now 8 months old and he went through the same ordeal at arouund that same age as yours. I found that it was because he was cutting teeth. As soon as his bottom ones were up then his top ones were coming through! I've been going through the same situation for two months now and have broken down crying a few times because I was sooo tired and my body just ached. This last week he finally broke the top ones and we are back to a regular nursing on demand routine (mine sleeps with me as well and I just fall asleep nursing him in bed) Hang in there and have patience for your little one --- I kept telling myself it won't last forever!! And it didn't! (just felt like forever for a while!)

Bad news... you are just gonna have to put her in the crib and let her cry. I did not listen with my (will be 6 on Sept 23) daughter and she is STILL in bed with me and my husband. She may not have had to nurse as often as your baby, but I was always tired from it. she could be asleep on me- my husband could pick her up and lay her down and she would sleep through the night, but if I tried to lay her down, she would immediately wake up. My husband didn't help me that much with her. WE now have a 6 mo old and she wakes up 5 times a night, but I am sticking to the crib with her.
Also, have you noticed if your baby is teething? My older liked to nurse more when she was cutting teeth. Try orajel and tylenol for the fussiness. Feed her solids as her last meal before bedtime as well. I hope something works for you because the older one would cry for 3 hours and that is why I didn't listen. Be strong! Good luck. oh, another thing... maybe your milk is drying up. Unfortunately, that happened to a friend of mine. If she will take a bottle, try supplementing with formula.

First, I commend you for being such a great mom! Giving so much of yourself and your time is the best thing you could do for your daughter. It won't last forever! My daughter is almost a year and we still do the same routine you mentioned. She has a crib in our room and is there for naps and initially at night, but once I am in bed and she wakes, she sleeps with us. She still wakes every 2-3 hours to nurse, but since she almost always goes right back to sleep, it works for me. My daughter's sleep patterns have changed over the months, so I think it has a lot to do with growing and developing. I think when you look back at this, you'll be glad you are making these important decisions. I couldn't imagine letting my girl cry to sleep!

I have 3 nursed children. They are age 14, 3 and 1. I have also been a LLL leader for 12 years. I have experienced the situation you are describing with all 3 of my children and have seen it a lot in LLL meetings. Unfortunately it is not uncommon. With my first child, I eventually weaned her from night time nursing (she was in a crib so it was easier to wean her) but she still woke every hour or so. I discovered that teething was the main cause of her nighttime waking. With both of my older children, they slept better once they finished teething at age 2. My baby is having the same sleep pattern you describe right now. She sleeps with me as well. ONe thing we recently found helps is if my husband lays down with her in another room at the begining of the night. she seems to stay asleep longer with him. Then he brings her to me to nurse once she wakes up and she spends the rest of the night with both of us.
I know this is tough but it does pass. Iwould suggest doing whatever you need to to get the most sleep you can for now. I have found that as the teething comes and goes so does the sleeping. You will have better nights thrown in to keep you going. I would also suggest getting a babysitter for short periods to give yourself a break. She will do fine without you for a little while. Maybe your husband can even watch her while you for a walk or something periodically. Any break does help.
You are not alone. You might also want to attend a local LLL meeting to talk inperson to other moms.