Nothing Has Worked...

yep some kids sleep some don't , there's nothing you can do really.
My now almost 9 yr old didn't sleep all night until she was 3. My son slept all night at right around a year. Both raised the same way, both breast fed, my son longer than my daughter , both very different kids.
My high needs , non sleeper still does not sleep well, She's also ADHD and gifted.
I have BTDT. And when they did sleep all night it just happened suddenly , I woke up one morning and realized neither one had gotten up. I came to the conclusion that you can't really do anything to get them to sleep all night, they do it when they are ready, and these CIO methods might help temporarily but most children have a relapse. I don't like to cry myself to sleep why should I make my kids do it.

wow what a long road. I really feel for you. I can't even imagine how exhausted you are. My husband and I "sleep trained" for lack of another word our son a few months earlier than that. You can start by expressing milk and mixing it with rice cereal, or if your little one is rejecting the bottle still, maybe try a feeding of rice cereal right before bed. I added applesauce to mine (unsweetened) to entice him. So I made sure he was going to bed with a full tummy. At first I tried going in to comfort him but that never seemed to work. Finally i was stuck between "is he really hungry?" or "Does he want attention?". So we agreed to let him cry it out. I got a lot of opinions for that decision friend family and friends. The first night he screamed (we stayed close so to make sure he was still breathing and not trying to jump out of his crib) for over an hour. It was the hardest thing to hear that. I was crying to while my husband was at some points holding me in bed so I wouldnt go pick him up. We doubted our decision so many times that night. But we let him cry. It took 3-4 nights. But he slept through the night after that, and much to some family and friends surprise, he is still a very healthy and happy little boy. From time to time he still wakes us (He's almost 3 now) and we cuddle and love him, but if it starts to get into a pattern (more than a few consecutive days) and we KNOW he is ok, we let him cry it out again and this time it only take about 5 minutes. I wish you the best. I don't know if that helps or not, but I really hope you guys are able to get some rest SOON!

Hang in there!! Your are not alone! My daughter didn't sleep through the night until 18 months!! She sounds similar to yours...I exclusively nursed her 'til she was 13 months old. VShe's very strong willed, hated car rides, hated getting her diaper changed. She would wake up 3-4 times per night for practically 18 months! We were exhausted (we also have a 4 yr. old), but somehow managed to get by. We never believed in cry-it-out methods (I hated the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child). I personally would NOT recommend letting her cry herself to sleep. I strongly believe my daughter's poor sleeping was b/c of teething. She got her 1st tooth at 3 1/2 months, got her 20th tooth at 17 months. Then voila...she started sleeping through the night. It sounds like you are nursing her to sleep (which I did too). I would stop the night nursing & nursing to sleep, but instead sit in a chair in her room, near the door. I think she needs to stop associating falling asleep w/ nursing...although just plopping her in the crib & leaving is too drastic a change. So, replace the nursing w/ sitting in a chair. If she cries when you do this, you can try the age appropriate pick up / put down method from the book The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems by T. Hogg. We did a variation of her method. My daughter is now 21 months old, and until 2 nights ago, we were sitting in her room in a chair until she fell asleep for bedtime & naps. Your baby can surprise you...my daughter is a great talker (8 word sentences already) & I finally decided to talk to her about it...& bribe her. So, I said if she falls asleep like a big girl she will get a prize the next day & voila, it worked! 2 naps & 2 bedtimes so far. So, your little baby will get better...hang in there, don't do anything that doesn't feel right in your heart. Nursing her all this while shows great affection & your baby just needs to slowly wean away from that & build the confidence that she can fall asleep herself & put herself back to sleep when she wakes. Good luck! This too shall pass!

I'm so sorry you're having so much trouble. I'm not sure that I can help you, as I stopped feeding my son in the middle of the night around 7 months and decided when he woke in the middle of the night that he needed comfort, not food. He continued to wake once or twice in the middle of the night regularly until he was about 13-14 months old, and toward the end, I used the CIO method. I didn't use it because I believe in it particularly - I used it because once I had gotten up so many times each night, I was unable to function and would simply pass out in my bed, whether or not he was crying. That actually did work. Within about two weeks, he figured out that I would come in once to make sure he was okay and then that was it. He stopped calling for me when he woke in the middle of the night (unless he has a nightmare or is truly upset about something, and then he still calls for me) and began soothing himself with books in his crib or his lovey. It wasn't ideal, but I'm not sure that I could have physically continued the cycle as it was, and in the end, it worked with us. I wish you the best of luck with whatever you do.

This is one of the main reasons I didn't breastfeed very long! I go nuts without uninterrupted sleep, and it wasn't worth it for me or my babies. Everyone was MUCH happier and more content when we went to formula and rice cereal in the bottles. Many on here think that's just horrible, but my boys are in great shape mentally and physically and I'm not an emotional wreck, so I think I did the right thing. I would seriously consider weaning her and getting something more solid into her before bedtime to see if that helps. I don't know your situation, but you may want to wait until she's actually sleeping through the night before getting pregnant again. I'm so exhausted when I'm pregnant I require extra sleep any way, and if I was still getting up with #1 when I was preggo with #2, I probably would have killed myself or someone else.

Truth? My kids were 5 before they really started being good sleepers. You do sound like you have a strongwilled little one.

You probably would already be doing this if you could, but Daddy should be the one to go in and pat the back, since she ought to know by now that he doesnt have what it takes to feed her.

HAve you tried a dream feed?? my understanding is that, you put them down like normal and then instead of waiting for them to wake you UP. you go in and rouse (is that the word, is that even a word at all) wake them slightly, nurse them and put them right back down. sort of like how you half wake and adjust your pillow etc and fall back asleep with out ever really realizing what you've done. That would keep her full if that's the issue and maybe break what ever sleep cycle deal she had going that is waking you. Sorry if this is something you've tried, i don't know weissuman, things change even in five years.
But i do commend you nursing! I think that is awesome, and you will make it through and be able to sleep at some point. I would seriously rethink baby #2, but that's just me.
good luck!

I hate to tell you this, but some kids are just wired this way. I have two beautiful daughters. My oldest had sleep issues until she was about 9. Seriously. My younger daughter was sleeping through the night when she was 6 weeks old and has slept like a log ever since. I didn't really do anything different with them. Maybe your #2 will be like mine and be a perfect sleeper! :-)

It is wonderful that we have so many resources as parents. At the same time the variety of methods, books, and expert advice available can sometimes make us feel like we are somehow failing. I agree with what you said at the beginning of your post. Children are just different and what works for one family may not turn out the same for another. I don't know what you have tried or what your beliefs are regarding nursing and sleep, but can you look back and think of a time when you got more sleep than now? If so,can you go back to what you were doing then? Personally I struggled with what we were doing with our son, it was different than what I had intended and I felt people looked down at me for it. In talking with my doctor she gave her opinion that if our way allowed us to sleep, than just accept it and stop sharing/discussing with other people. So I got more sleep and stopped feeling guilty. I co-slept with him and allowed him to nurse when he wanted to. No getting up and then becoming too alert to fall back asleep when he did which had been a huge problem for me. Eventually he slept through the night and I weaned him, two things I thought would never happen! With our new baby...it is sooo much easier. Yes we are more relaxed as parents but it is more than that. She is just a good sleeper! Good luck to you!

At this age, the child should be sleeping through the night and if she does wake up, putting herself back to sleep. What is her diet consist of besides breast milk?? She should be eating table food (not jared baby foods) and getting a bed time snack before she goes to sleep like yogurt or some cereal like kix or cherrioes.

It sounds like she is using you as a pacifier when she wakes up and now it has become a bad habit. Offer her a sippy cup of water (not a bottle) when she wakes up instead of the breast. After a while it won't worth her waking up for water and she'll put herself back to sleep. Have your husband go and offer her the water instead of you. After all, he did help with conceiving the child so he needs to help with these issue too. I don't think co sleeping at this age is a good idea either as that will cause another hard habit to break when you want her back in her own bed again.

You'll have to stand you ground on this and not give in. It will probably get worse before it gets better but it will work if you stay firm.

I was only able to BF for 3 months due to milk drying and a horrible case of mastitis but they were both sleeping through the night at 2 months old. So it is possible!

Good luck!
S.

First of all....I feel your pain!!! We went through an awful time with my daughter (now 4). Then we had our son who hasn't been a perfect sleeper. A friend suggested a book (I know you said you were done, but it saved us!) Dr. Richard Ferber's "Solving you Child's Sleep Problems". He teaches you how to cry it out sanely. It took about 9 days for us, but he sleeps all night and takes good naps now.

I promise that it gets better. My dad always tells me with humor "Baby, don't worry, he'll quit doing this when he cant get a prom date." I know that 's not helpful, but it might make you laugh in the midst of the problem. Hang in there...it will get better.

Poor mommy, you have put in so many months already. Bad news: some babies just don't sleep well for a couple of years, or even longer. I'm sure they would if they could.

My daughter was a terrible sleeper for two and a half years, and her son didn't sleep reliably through the night for at least a year longer than that. Many babies wake very early, 4 to 6 a.m., alert and ready for their day. There are so many reasons we can't even know, which of course drives us mad. Could be hunger or thirst or developmental leaps or upset schedules or illness or teething, could be genetic, could be chemicals in the environment (I get horribly jazzed on common cleaners, all scented products, and much more).

Good news: It does eventually get better. Someday you'll look back on this year or two and be amazed that you did survive. And attitude can help – not flogging a belief that it must/should be different than it is. Because sometimes, it just isn't, no matter what. Life with babies is demanding, and usually one of the biggest demands is on sleep. We hear this over and over from experienced parents when planning a baby, when pregnant – and we can't begin to imagine how really tired we'll be.

I don't know if this is something you'd be willing to try, but co-sleeping saved my sanity when I was nursing. I remember it now as a most precious period. When my daughter self-weaned, she also happily moved into her own bed – we had no issues giving up co-sleeping. We were both just ready for it.

Another idea: I sometimes did overnights with my daughter so I could do some of the getting up with my grandson. It seemed to give the whole household a big boost. Do you have anyone you can ask such a favor? I've also heard of parents taking a night in a hotel with a paid sitter doing the overnight, just to get some sleep. Not many of us can afford that kind of luxury, though.

I'm a little worried to hear you're trying for number two when you're still so overextended with your first. If you end up with another baby that doesn't sleep well, will you manage another year or more of this?

I considered my son a GREAT sleeper, because he'd sleep in a great big block from 7pm - 8am from a few weeks old. He'd wake to eat at 10, 1, & 5... but that's all he needed. Eat and asleep again. (I've taken care of infants who only sleep for an hour or two, and then are AWAKE for several hours... sleep another couple hours... AWAKE for a couple hours. Some just happy to be awake "I sleep when I'm tired, I'm awake when I'm not... what's the problem?" and others who are MISERABLE, ear infections/ gerd/ etc.). I just made sure not to go to bed until after one of the first 2 feedings (10pm or 1am) and then I only had to wake up once or twice. At some point he dropped his 10pm and 5am feedings... so it was just the 1am one -right around a year and 3 months). At that point, I just quit going to be before 2am.

(( btw...I nursed until 9mo, lost my milk, and did formula for the next many months. (Exclusively until 1 year, and then supplemental until 1.5/2 years old).))

One month, however, I had to pay $1500 for books... which KILLED my budget. I was used to paying $500 or less. So when the last of the "big" bottles had to get tossed... I was stuck with the little 6oz ones. OMG. The nightmare of that month. Because he'd fall alseep at the end of the bottle, even if I had another one ready... and then wake up every 2 flippin hours. As soon as I could afford to get the 20oz size again... POOF... back to his 1am bottle.

So it's one MORE thing to try. The whole bigger portion thing.

That and a good book. I really ENJOYED nursing in the middle of the night... because I had the gihugo (giant, huge, enourmous) chair, blues playing in the background, and a 70 book long mystery series to read (i read rather fast). Not enough that I didn't circumvent having to wake more than necessary... but by making the middle of the night nursing times enjoyable to ME (nursing is boring, lovely, but boring) they were less painful.

Reel up out of bed. Stumble down the hall. Turn on the switch. Look down to see if I'd remembered my clothes. (while formula feeding insert *ignore* the baby and heat up a bottle already premade in the fridge, wondering exactly how bad of a mother I was for those extra 60 seconds of stumbling, but probably not as bad as if I had carried him out and dropped him and or landed on him) Pick the baby up. Adjust for gravity. Reel toward the gihugo chair. Collapse. Start nursing. Realize that the decible level had miraculously decreased. Smile /kiss /murmer /stroke eyebrow (don't ask about the eyebrow, I have no idea why or how it started, but at 8yo, it will make him sleepy in the middle of a bday party). Grab book from arm rest or preform herculean feats of bendy-ness to fetch it up off the floor from where I had knocked it off trying to reach for it. Start reading. Remove baby's hand from paragraph that needed to be read. Croon tonelessly along with the music in the background. Burp (for us this took at least 30 minutes). Put book down. Breathe baby smell. Realize that baby smell needed some work. Lay baby in crib. End up with dirty diaper in one hand and clean diaper on baby (no idea how, happened while 1/2 asleep. Stumble into bathroom. Forget why I was there and stare at myself in the mirror for several minutes trying to remember. Pee. Wash up. End up in bed (apparently there was no actual distance between sink and bed). Be mildly confused as to state of dress. (Either how I had managed to become undressed -or had I bothered?-, or why I was laying in bed with my bathrobe on and something bulky and uncomfortable poking me through the pocket.) Remove bulky thing from digging into left side of pelvis. Hurl somewhere in the general direction of the floor. Ignore complaints from hubby about throwing things at him.