Not Wearing Out the "NO" Word

you have lots of good advice. What worked 3/4 of the time was telling my daughter what she could do instead of no. Instead of saying "no standing on the chair" we would just say "sit down please" or "bottom on the chair please". You seem to repeat everything a million times, but eventually they get it. I know how frustrating it can be but eventually they will outgrown that phase of outlets and cords and move onto something bigger and better! LOL
I still say NO too, but I really try hard to be conscience of when and how I say it.
best of luck.

At 7m old it is all about redirection. I hardly ever tell my daughter (now 14m old) no, I just redirect her to another activity or say something like "Mommy is going to take the remote now, Thank you" or just offering her a safe toy she usually drops or gives me the thing I don't want her to have. If it is a matter of safety I just remove her from the situation without really saying much. I use other phrases like "we don't play with scissors". I pretty much just make the comment specific to whatever it is she is doing that I don't want her to do. I do catch myself saying "uh uh!" and shaking my head or "NO" sometimes, but try to follow it up with WHY I'm saying it. The garbage is a good example. If she is going for the garbage bag sitting by the door (waiting for DH to take it out) I tell her "We don't play with the garbage" then lead her away from it to something else.

Something my mom told me (she is a special ed teacher) is to be very specific in what you want your child to do and descriptive in your "discipline". This is a good thing to practice when they are little, before they understand, so that as they begin to understand you are already in the habit of it. For example, instead of just "Don't do that!" when they drop their sippy off the high chair say "please do not drop your sippy cup off of the high chair. If you do it again I will take the sippy cup away" then if they drop it again TAKE THE CUP AWAY! Never make a threat you can't follow through with. Anyway, I won't ramble. Just some advice I'm finding to work as my daughter gets older.

To avoid the overuse of "no" remove the offend object from his hands. Don't say a word. Lift it up high, out of his reach, and turn your back. If you can't lift it, say no. Then figure out a way to child proof it for future situations.

M.,

I started with a "no, please" if my kids are doing something that I didn't like or wanted them to do. That way they knew that it was not okay, but it wasn't just a NO!! Then, if either of my two went for the stove, or my hot cup of tea I'd use a sharp, strong, NO!!! that would stop them in their tracks.

My daughter is one to challenge authority every time you turn around, but she's compliant at least some of the time. The almost gentle no, please, or hands off, or not for you, added with a redirection of attention seems to work.

Melissa

You have some good answers already. I would add that I like to explain what something is for, rather than only saying "no". For example, "That is the garbage can. I put our yucky trash in there." as I move my daughter away. Or, "There are some dangerous cords behind the TV, and mommy wants you to be safe." as I take her over to her toys, etc.

Blessings on you and your little one!

We started using the words "dangerous" or "breakable" in a really firm voice while re-directing her to something/somewhere else. It seemed to help her understand the reason WHY we weren't letting her touch certain things. Now that she is a little older (18 mos) she knows when we say that's dangerous or breakable she leaves it alone. And we aren't saying NO all the time!

The best bet at your son's age is to redirect his attention instead of telling him no. If he seems interested in something that is off limits, you can find something similar that's safe and direct his attention to it.

In addition, you can use different words to tell him why you don't want him to touch something. "Ouch!" for something that might hurt him, "Hot!" for something that might burn him (or the stove in general, hot or not).

My daughter is obsessed with the dog's crate - we tell her that we leave the dog's house alone. Basically we tell her what we want her to do, not what we *don't* want her to do. If she follows through, we thank her for listening.

Hope this helps! Mobility presents all kinds of new challenges, doesn't it?? :)

A friend gave me the best advice when I was pregnant. That was to say "No thank you". I found the best thing to do expecially at this age is redirect thier attention to something they CAN play with. But when necessary say "No Thank You". I think it has kept us from over using the word. This way you are teaching them, instead of telling them they can't do anything. When you no longer use the word "No" it forces you to be more polite (we are in such a habbit of now, we even say it to the dog). We started this when my 2 1/2 was born and I think it has worked great. She was a big talker early, so had we been saying NO I'm sure we would have heard it a lot from her. She had 50 words before she started saying "NO", but it was at appropriate times not just to say the word. We corrected her to "No Thank you" and she picked it up in no time. Now if the doesn't want peas with dinner she says "no thank you". Hopefully it will work as well with my son too. Good Luck

Replacing No with what you can do works well - that way No works better when you need it.

Rather than No feet on the table - Feet on the floor. Stop putting your spoon in the milk - your spoon is for soup.

Anyway it's kind of hard to replace the no - but when I use it know my daughter knows I mean it - usually she gets really scared then crys but it keeps her from running out into the street.

Life isn't a fair and balanced affair. There is nothig wrong with having what you call an excessive number of NO's in your vocabulary. Think of the word No as a fence or barrier to protect your son. Couple the word with the reason why, short words like Hot, Break, Sharp, Fall.... so he can put one and one together and can begin to understand the why to the no. Babies and toddlers don't need a permissive environment to grow and thrive. A slap on the hand or a pop on the well diapered bum will reinforce the No as well as you don't want them to burn, break, cut or fall and hurt themselves. You can remove many breakables, but when you go to someone else's home, you would want to be able to say 'No, don't touch' and have your toddler understand rather than asking your host to babyproof their environment. Provide opportunities for your son to do things, have his toys available to play and explore with. He has his things that are his and others are off limits, they are NO.

Say "That is not for you" and redirect attention. Explain why they can't have it. Say it can hurt you, it is your sister's, etc... Save "NO!" for the dangerous things.
That's what we did and none of our kids went through the "saying no faze".