Not Sleeping

My son is only 7 weeks old, so I'm certainly not speaking from experience....but a number of my friends have used advice from the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child...and all of them have children with GREAT sleeping habits. I'm using the tips already, and so far, so good. The book actually recommends an EARLIER bedtime for getting children to sleep longer. Good luck!

Babies are different. Believe me. I had 4. My first didn't sleep through the night for almost the full first year. My second was sleeping through the night at 3 months. My third was waking up in the middle of the night just to play. Yes, I know, it's frustrating, but you basically have to wait it out.

Instead of putting her to bed later, try putting her to bed earlier. Seems weird, but it works. You can add something to the bedtime routine, like a bath (somehow baths seem to help as well)

Some babies need more time to develop their neurological systems in order to sleep through. At 6 months she no longer needs to wake to eat for nutrition, at this point it is comfort. You have several options. You can continue, and wait it out, she will eventually sleep through. You can 'sleep train' and if you choose to, I highly advocate against cry it out methods and recommend The No Cry Sleep Solution book. You can try to take one feeding away at a time, slowly, and introduce a different comfort technique like rocking, singing, using white noise, a comfort toy, etc. You can take the baby in your bed for part of the night in order to get more sleep.

You have options. You indeed need to find a way to get more sleep for yourself if it is becoming a problem.

Good luck!

Also, this is refreshing news: Studies show that only HALF of babies actually 'sleep through the night' before age 12 months!

Hi J.! I had similar problems with my daughter when she was 6 months, and my pediatrician recommended something completely counter-intuitive. If your daughter is waking up that often, she is most likely overtired, and isn't able to settle into sleep. the solution is MORE sleep. she needs to go to bed earlier. I didn't believe this at all at first, but it makes a HUGE difference. Unlike adults, who can stay up later and know how to sleep longer, babies cannot make that association, and thus wire themselves up to stay awake. She needs to learn to put herself back to sleep without food. Put her to bed earlier, like 5 or 6pm and do not feed her at night. if she's at normal weight, the chance that she actually needs to eat is extremely slim. you might have to endure a few nights of unpleasant, upset baby, but she will learn that nighttime is for sleeping and she does not need to eat at night. My daughter now sleeps from 6pm until 6am without a sound. it took about 2 weeks of her crying, me going in and laying her back down and it was really hard, but she was old enough to understand that if she cried, she was going to get attention and/or food, even tho she didn't need it. Good luck!!

J.

My daughter is 11 months and I am still struggling with this. Just in the past month has my husband began helping by at least going to fetch/make the bottle for me occasionally. At 6 mos my daughter was as frequent if not more frequently waking as your child. I thought is was going to need to be admitted for complete exhaustion and was going insane because I couldn't even consider the crying it out suggestion. It was about then when I started watering down her bottles. I started by making 6 oz but only putting 2 scoops of formula in vs. 3 scoops. Then I went to 1 scoop to 4 oz. over time. Don't know if this has been curbing her evening appetite but 3 nights in the past week, she did not make me get her a bottle and went back to sleep with me just patting/rubbing her back. Last night she was hungry or thirsty and she did 10 oz of water down formula. We started with a 6 oz bottle and she got mad when gone so I made her another 6 oz bottle with just ~1 scoop in it and she took another 4 oz about from that.

Like people say, "all babies are different." And I don't necessarily believe that they are waking out of habit and not hunger. I have found with watering her bottles down that some nights she wakes more than others and sometimes she drinks more than other times. For instance, one day recently when we were at the pool for 3 hours in the late afternoon (after 2pm) she woke quite a few times and drank 18 oz of watered down formula through the course of the night and a few nights before and since then she has needed none or as little as 4 oz. during the night.

Just keep telling yourself as I did, "You will eventually get to sleep." Heck I am still telling myself that because I still feel drowgy all the time. A book that has helped me with the mental support of what's happening and I have started a few suggestions as well as am planning to try others and do the sleep planning when we return from Vacation in a few weeks is "the no-cry sleep solution, by Elizabeth Pantley". I bought it because so many on this site have also referred it. It was $13 after shipping when I ordered it from a site online but I believe it is available in the big chain book stores as well. If you're like me the thought of reading, alone, makes you sleepy as if you aren't enough already but, it wasn't too bad-I did it in ~2 days on my commute to and from work-Some sections you can skip over because they won't apply to your situation so it goes quick.

Best wishes for a good night sleep soon.

J.,
Don't get discouraged. I have three boys and none of them slept through the night until at least 9 months. The main thing is to get a schedule that works so you can get rest. Share one of the waking times with your mate, and don't feel that your daughter "should" be doing anything. It's exhausting I know. There are books, of course. i was never an advocate of letting them cry it out but I know it has worked for many people. Whatever you decide to "do" about it just know your child isn't weird in any way. There's so much to learn for them in this first year, and some sleep and some don't.
Good luck!

I have a 12 month old that still doesn't sleep through the night. She still gets up at least once a night. Normally twice. I've found that just giving in to the idea that she may not sleep through the night for a long time, makes it easier on me. Good luck, I hope you fair better than me.

Hi, J..

I know sleep philosophies are a very personal matter... and can often be a touchy subject among friends. I really felt comfortable with the co-sleeping/attachment parenting philosophy for my young infant... as he got older, I felt some other parenting philosophies were also valuable. Some of my friends made me feel really guilty for deviating from the norm of my group. Whatever you decide to do, just trust your gut/your own mind, no matter what others tell you. I would encourage you to keep an open mind to various alternatives in order to find the right solution that works for you. I really don't think that there is one philosophy/approach that is truly effective for every stage of growth... just my opinion.

My son just turned 19 months and has fabulous sleep habits now... we did the "sleep training" process with him when he was about 5 months old. I would recommend reading the Weissbluth and/or Ferber book with an open mind. When I read the books, I realized that our son had strong sleep associations with two things: my breast/nursing and being held/rocked gently. He would fall alseep, we put him down.... then 2 - 3.5/4 hours later... awake and screaming... then, I would nurse or my husband would rock... and same thing. He would basically wake as he was coming out of his deep cycle and instead of soothing himself naturally back to sleep. By nursing him/rocking him, we were denying him the opportunity to fall back to sleep on his own.

My husband is much "softer" than I am, so I waited to do the sleep training while he was away on business. I knew that he would not be able to handle hearing our son cry. He was gone for about 7 days... when he came back, our son was sleeping through the night, and taking two naps a day happily... and he was still getting fat off my breastmilk/no solids. It was really difficult hearing my son self-soothe/cry, but I just focused on the end result... I needed to sleep, but I also felt that my child was not getting the rest that he needed either. He was so much happier and alert once he was sleeping through the night and on a solid nap schedule. I also felt like I could be truly attentive and alert and happier with him when we were all getting a good night's sleep.

Now, he is 19 months old... some of my friends who were scolding me for being a terrible mother have said that they should have done this with their kids... their toddlers are having a terrible time with sleeping and napping... still. All babies are different though, and I have heard stories of babies that just magically sleep through the night or grow out of it. My mother swears that I did... and made me feel so guilty when I would let my son cry it out.

Enjoy your little one and take care.

Hi J.,

Here are some web sites:

www.byebyecrybaby.com

http://www.bellybelly.com/au/articles.baby/15-ways-to-hel...

http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/13/top-ten-ways-to-...

www.kidspriorityone.org

Hope this helps. Good luck. D.

Hi Jodi,
When our daughter was 6 months old we started depleating her intake of formula at night. It took us a week, but she has been sleeping through the night ever since. The 1st night I only let her have 4 oz, the 2nd 3 oz, the 3/4 night we only let her have about 1 1/2 to 2 oz. the 5 night we did 1 oz (1/2formula, 1/2water) then we started only 1 oz water and by the 9th night she woke up and fussed for about 5 min (I didn't go to her) after that night I guess she thought it wasn't worth it to wake up for just water, so that was that. I hope this works for you. Our son we did the crying tech. and while this worked also we liked the formula tech. much better it was easier on my heart.... Good luck

Hey J., first thing is that she might not be getting enough milk at night to keep her full. With my first, I was nursing him but he still wanted to wake up every 2-3 hours to eat. His doc told me to give him formula for his last meal and that worked, he stayed full and slept all night. Now my third gave me problems as well. But she depended on me to put her back to sleep with nursing her. It was very hard but I completly stopped middle of the night feedings and just walked around with her until she fell asleep. After about 3-4 nights of this, she was falling asleep faster & faster once I picked her up. Then I just let her cry it out, it's hard but you have to do it. I promise after the first 2-3 nights of it, she will be putting herself back to sleep.

I hope this helps, I know it's hard but you will soon get some sleep.

Good Luck, O. (mom of 3)

Its totally normal for her not to be sleeping through the night yet! My 2 year old still wakes up to nurse a couple times a night. Check out www.askdrsears.com for more info. One helpful hint is to make sure you are sleeping whenever she does, naps, etc. It REALLY makes a difference!

Good luck, S.

All babies are different. My sone is 21 months and still does not sleep throught the night. Your daughter's needs when she wakes up will change over the course of time. My son would wake to nurse until he was about 15 months. We just shared a bed so that he could nurse and I could sleep. I only had to wake up long enough to get him latched on. Now when he wakes he comes and gets me to lay with him. Sometimes he goes right back to sleep and I can return to what I was doing or go to bed with my husband, other nights I fall asleep before he does. Find a system that will work for your family and enable you to get some sleep. Also I have found that the later my son goes to bed at night the earlier he wakes for the day.

I don't think this is that uncommon. A pain I know. Do you put her down to sleep when she is still a bit awake? If she learns to go to sleep on her own she might sleep better through the night. You can also try to get her back to sleep when she wakes up without feeding her. Ask your doctor, but she might not need the mid-night feedings anymore, it just might be an easy way of getting her back to sleep. I think I stopped feeding my son at night around 6-8 months. He still woke up at night though until he was 2. He wasn't a very good sleeper. Part of that was my fault. My daughter on the other hand is sleeping for about 6 hours at night, waking up to nurse, then going back to sleep for a couple of hours. And she is only 3 months old. All kids are different.

Hi J.,
I went through this although a little bit sooner and actually posted a question about it. (she was 4 months old at the time). I finally just quit feeding her in the middle of the night and she eventually just quit waking up for those feedings. She is five months old now. My pediatrician suggested that either she was hungry or just wanting attention and to put cereal in the last bottle before bed to see if it helped. All it did was give her gas pains. It did not help with extended sleep at all! You may want to give it try anyway, just in case. So I figured out she was wanting attention from mommy (as many nice people had suggested on this website!)
I put her down after a bath and a bottle anywhere between 7 and 8 P.M. Sometimes she gets up around 11 or so and will take a small bottle (4 oz.) depending on how much she has eaten during the day. Then we don't hear from her again typically until 5. My dr. also suggested giving her a stuffed animal to comfort her because she didn't want me going in to pick her up, etc. She doesn't seem to really care about the animal however.
The worst thing to do is try to keep her up even longer and later. That backfired on me big time! Like everyone else says, try putting her down earlier.
Full belly, earlier bedtime and resist the temptation to feed every time she calls for you. It's not easy and I feel your pain. I hope things start getting easier for you soon!

Have you tried putting rice cereal in the formula at night? If you are breastfeeding you can't do this of course, but if you pump or use formula you can. Always worked for me...my sister in law is doing the same thing with her 4 month old and it is working too. BTW it was at 6 months old that my kids both started "sleeping through the night"..definition about 5 or 6 hours...give it time.

Good Luck!

Have you considered feeding cereal at the last feeding of the day? I fed my now 6 foot tall 15.5 year old cereal at 5 weeks because the child was HUNGRY!! Once I started cereal, he slept through the night - no problems.

Some people think this is radical, but my pediatrician just smiled and let me do it my way. It's old school - as in very old school - but it works. My sister (now in 35) and I (now in my 40's) were both fed cereal when we came home from the hospital. We slept through the night. We were healthy and still are.

But, you've got to do what you think is best for you.
YMMV

When our daughters were little they would do that.. and we decided to give them a nice warm bath with lavender.. then make sure they have a nice warm bottle with a lil bit of cereal in it.. and make the room very calm n dim lit..

After doing that a few times the kids slept sound

Hi J.,
My 9 month old is just starting to sleep through the night. But, every now and then, he still does get up once or twice. Every time we went to see his pediatrician, I would ask her about it and she said to start a sleep training technique. There are several different techniques to use and you can pick one that works best for you and the baby. You can probably google "baby sleep training" and you'll get lots of info. I don't work, so I actually didn't mind getting up every now and then with him, I enjoyed rocking him back to sleep, it was bonding time for us. But a lot of moms who need to get up early in the morning to work need the sleep, so that's where the sleep training comes in. You're not alone, though. It may take some time for her to start sleeping through the night. It'll happen one night and you'll be so happy!
Hang in there!

Hi, J.. Our twin daughters did not sleep through the night until about 13 mos. Good luck. I think some babies are just good sleepers and some aren't (but eventually do become).

She is probably still waking out of habit, not actual hunger. You can pick one feeding at a time to eliminate and slowly reduce the amount you give her by 1/2 an oz for two consecutive nights. For example, instead of 5 oz, give her 4 1/2 oz for two nights, then 4oz for 2 nights, etc. When you get down to 2 oz for 2 nights, the next night give her a pacifier or rock her or comfort her however you normally do. She may fuss a little for a couple of nights, but she'll get it. Whenever you feel she is ready, eliminate another feeding. This really worked with my little one, and she is 8 months now. She now takes just one bottle a night, after 4 or 5 hours, then gives us another 4 or 5 hours (on a good night!).

Good luck!