Not Really a Question. Just Feel Bad.

I'd ask the teacher if you can bring the other kids along.

Chances are the 4 year old will sit and listen, the 1 year old will toddle around looking at the toys and the baby will be in the car seat. How long can it take - 20 minutes. Just read the book and run. And pick a short book. :)

Can you get together with O. of the other moms with younger kids--make a plan, trade off & make it happen!

There are work arounds. You can do was another mom suggested and swap with another mom in the class, you can bring your infant with you to a birthday party and leave your husband with the other two kids. Your limitations are only limitation if you let them limit you.

I have a good friend that has 7 children. Obviously she is unable to attend every function of every childs class, so she allows the kids to pick 1 event per year (per child) to attend. This gives her children the choice on which event as well as she is fairly attending 1 event per child.

Good luck!

HI A.,
I know exactly how you feel. I went through this when my daughter started school. My Mom always worked though and I always wished that she could be in the classroom, so I had big time guilt about not being able to be in my kids' classrooms... that whole. I want my kids to have more than I did thing...

Anyway, it sounds like you are there to take her and pick her up from school? That's a big gift!! We all do what we can for our kids in the ways that we're able. When she looks back later she'll remember how nice it was to be able to come home to you and spend special time and do special things. Some kids don't get that because their parents are working and they have to be in an after school program. We all do what we have to do... just be grateful for the things you can do for her and don't feel guilty about not doing more.

Good luck!!

network! there are other moms in the exact same boat, you just need to find each other. obviously you can't go to something every month, but i'll bet you can make it to one or two events per year, enough to give your son a fun memory of mom in his classroom. good luck!
:) khairete
S.

I feel the same way a lot of times. Our school's PTA meetings have free childcare during the meeting, so it's easier for things like that. Maybe you can meet a class mom who would switch babysitting with you every now and then so you can go in. I know I get a mom friend to watch my youngest every now and then so I can have lunch with my kindergartner at school. Why can't his dad stay home with your other kids so you can take him to the birthday party sometimes too? You need to be able to get out and have some alone time with your child and his peers also,

A.,
Don't beat yourself up. You can only do so much. It wasn't until last year that I realized that I had never been on a field trip with my oldest - and she was in 5th grade! I bet there are many things that you WERE able to do with your oldest that you couldn't or can't do with having two young ones. I sure know I did a lot more with just my oldest before the other two siblings came along.

Here's what I did do - meet her for lunch at school - with my youngest with me; attend but not run some class holiday parties - with my youngest with me; send in items for the parties, cut out things for the teacher, etc.

Could dad take a day off of work - or a couple of hours for you to go read?

You are doing a great job as mom!

I remember feeling this way when my son was in first grade and I had a three year old and newborn at home.
Our school had many ways to help out, including jobs for moms who couldn't make it into the school. I worked on the yearbook, managed class book orders and worked on the school auction.
With four kids you have many, many years of volunteering ahead of you so don't worry, you will get there!
If you really want to get in the classroom this year arrange a babysitting swap with another mom.
As far as birthday parties go why can't dad stay with the little ones sometimes?

Well for field trips you'd need a sitter. Is there another mom that you can trade babysitting hours with?

Why does your husband have to take him to parties? Can you get away for the two hours?

Having kids doesn't mean that you have to stop attending things for your kids, but it means you are able to do less the more kids you have.

I also have a neighbor who has 7 kids and she barely makes anything...but when she does, she has all of the other kids in tow. It is what it is. But try and figure out what you CAN do and don't feel bad about what you can't.

I went on several field trips when mine were younger with a stroller and a child in it. It can be done you just have to pick the events carefully so it will work with a baby/child. I even took a toddler to some events in the class room but my children knew how to obey, yes that awful word again, and usually it worked depending on what it was. Maybe someone could come and watch one of the kids while you had just an hour or so to help out. See if someone couldn't do that. If not your child will understand. I think you are the one feeling the worst about it and maybe by the time your oldest son is in 2nd or so grade you can help out much more. I can't say 'don't feel bad' as I used to feel bad too when I missed something but you have no choice often. I doubt my kids remember the times I did make it and went. I should ask some of them.

Did you ask if the other kids could come while you read a book? My son's first grade teacher last year and 2nd grade teacher this year both don't mind if you bring younger siblings in for something like that. If it becomes disruptive though they ask you just gracefully leave. When my daughter was an infant I would wear her. When she was 1 she was just so happy to be there...the teacher would give her a little bucket with popsicle sticks to play with or something else. This year at age 2 it is harder but she is good for the first 20 minutes. That would be enough time to read a story. Only you know your kids though and what you can handle. Anyway, I'm sorry! If I lived near you I'd be happy for you to drop off your 2 oldest while you go for an hour.

Don't feel bad simply do what you can. When the baby gets a bit older you may be able to get more involved at your son's school. Even by the end of the school year the baby will be around 6 months old and you will be more abel to put thebaby in a stroller and go on class trips with the kids. Do you have a friend or family member who can watch the little ones for 2 or 3 hours one day a week a week so you can go to the classroom and help out? If not by next year you will be able to get more involved.

Many moms are not able to get to their child's class to read. But - most teachers will encourage you to come in to the class another time. I was never able to get to my child's class during the reading month - but I was able to get there at other times in the year and had a great time. Next time your husband has a scheduled day off, or if Grandma will be in town let the teacher know and I'm sure she'll be happy to have you in to read that day.

I once asked my daughter-this was many yrs ago when she was in -maybe-kindergarden-if she liked having me at school to read that day and she said, "No, you incited the children and the teacher was beside herself!"

Look-do what you can, when you can-when the little one gets older -you'll be there. You will also be able to help with the older children when everyone else has lost interest! Don't feel bad!

I work full-time so I also can't help in the classroom. I try to help in other ways. I ask the teacher is she needs any supplies or anything I can do from home. I also help the school by putting together the scholastic fliers they give each student, donating food for teachers and helping with after school events.

ugh I cant get to those parties b/c I work full time and am a single parent. I wish they didn't have the option for parents to come and make the other kids feel left out. I know some will say they have to get used to it, but at 5 when all the parents come and there are 2 kids without parents crying I J. think in their little minds they feel unloved.
My daughters school had a book fair where the kids got to have their parents come in and buy them toys and books and the kids without parents sat in the corner and watched and cried while the others got to do the fair...luckily my b/f saved the day and went, but those 3 other kids had to be sad=(
I get having helpers but not events when all parents can come unless its for a play or something

I know exactly how you feel. I don't know about where Suzanne L is going to school but I know HERE you can't bring siblings....ever. It sucks. I was never able to go with my eldest son on any field trips. So, last year when my son was in 2nd grade they were having "science day" at school and it looked so cool! I told my husband that I was going to volunteer at the school all day and I wanted him to take the day off. He was able to and I was able to volunteer. In fact, he brought the baby (she was about 5 months at the time) to the school around lunch time so I could go out and nurse her.
Every other school note that has come home has said specifically NO SIBLINGS and that has made it impossible for me to go to any class things for either one of my boys since I have a 12 month old. I know some people have said to swap watching kids, but your youngest is quite young and I know I wouldn't feel comfortable doing that.
Is there any way that your husband can go in to work late or come home early one day?
I am kind of confused as to why you can't leave the kids with the husband so you can go and drop off at birthday parties. That can be done!
Talk with your husband. OR, do you have family that lives close by? Maybe someone can come over that your kids know and trust and watch them once a month for a couple of hours so you can go to the school. Just a couple of ideas.
L.

My oldest is in 1st grade and I have two little ones at home. We are military and don't live near family. When my husband deployed, I needed help! A good friend/military wife and I will trade off babysitting during the day for appts and such. I also found a fantastic woman--a lifesaver--that will watch the boys during the day. She is 50 and her kids are in high school. She does not work outside the home, but likes the extra money. I volunteer at my son's school a couple times a month while the boys are with Mrs. Carol. I feel so lucky to have her! Maybe you could find someone through church, school, or in your neighborhood to be your Mrs. Carol.

why dont you get a sitter for an hour or two so you can yun up there for an hour for class parties and to read sort of thing. i go tomy daughters school once a week or two and like that i'm apart of it. the kids all know me and i get to help at center time. with my oldest i wasnt able to just run up there at my every whim i had to find someone to come sit at home with my youngest so i only went once or twice a year during the main parties. i live in chesapeake though so if you would like to get to know each other first i'd be happy to come over and watch your kids for an hour or two so you can be with your big baby:)

I agree with other posters about connecting with other moms who also have younger siblings. Maybe you can trade watching kids. You might want to ask the teacher if you're not sure what other parents might be in the same spot that you are. Don't bring the other two children without asking first. It's not always allowed at our school, depends on the teacher, and unfortunately in one class the teacher had to exclude all siblings because of a few that weren't watched while their Mom came to "help" out in the class.

When my oldest was in Kindergarten, a neighbor and I swapped every Tuesday. One Tuesday morning I would volunteer in the classroom and she would watch our 2 year olds. The next week she went in and I took the little kids. However, each of our Kindergarteners were pretty clingy, needy, and whiney when we went in. They had a hard time focusing on their school routine when Mom was there too. When it was the other Mom's turn, our kids were perfectly behaved. So we realized as much as we loved being there, it was probably more for the teacher, the other children, and for us than for our own daughters' benefit. The next year I only volunteered with field trips (if I had childcare for my younger, and I didn't always either so I couldn't volunteer for everything) and went in for programs.

Why can't you take him to the birthday parties? Take the 2 month old with you if your nursing. Why can't the other 2 stay with their Dad while you go once in awhile?

Hi, A.:
I live close enough to come help you out.
I have plenty of experience with children.
In fact, I just returned home from Bethlehem, PA,
will a Master's Degree in Restorative Practices and
Youth Counseling. Have had criminal records check and
worked in the Alternative School for experience.
Helped a mom out to get her child and the nephew back and forth
to preschool when the transportation was cut off for the preschool.
Call me if you need help.
Good luck
D.