Not Finding Out the Sex

There's no reason to give in. My husband has never wanted to know ahead of time. For the first 2 pregnancies I didn't want to know either so we both found out at the delivery. My last pregnancy was twins and for some strange reason I just had to know. I would have been happy with any combination of babies but I JUST HAD TO KNOW!!!! He didn't want to know so I had the tech write down the sex and asked my doctor at the next appointment. Since we always referred to the babies by a nickname I was able to keep the secret and hubby found out at the delivery.

We didn't have a choice....

When I was pregnant with my boys - my voice got deep - it was hilarious. When I was pregnant with girls - my voice got higher, my nails grew and my hair grew...

IF my husband didn't want to find out the sex - I would honor that. I would NOT go behind his back to find out.

No one has to give in...just get the ultrasound done and don't tell him what you find out. Compromise made.

I don't get why people want to find out before delivery. It is one of the most wonderful surprises you get in your life, why ruin it?

Why does anyone have to give in?
The ultrasound tech or doc can tell the one who wants to know without telling the other one.
Hopefully the one who knows can keep their mouth shut and not spoil it for the one who wants to be surprised!

Strange, you can find out and honor his request and do not tell anyone, so his wishes can be honored.
Not sure why this cannot be done so that both of you can be satisfied.

You both do not have to be the same on it.
He doesn't want to find out, so fine.
You want to find out, so fine.
Just tell the Doctor, your Husband does NOT want to know.
That's it.
You can find out, then just don't tell, him.
No biggie.

Just because one knows the other doesn't have to "not" know...they just don't tell.

We wanted to be surprised...so we didn't find out until each of them popped out! It was fun going over boys and girls names...the nursery was done in a pale yellow and pale green, well, not just that - we did the Hundred Acres Woods "theme" and one of our friends is an artist, came in and drew the tree, Pooh, Tigger, etc.

I knew, and my husband didn't want to know ... so I didn't tell him. I also didn't tell anyone else. I kept that secret for 9 months, even from my family and co-workers. It was kind of fun:-)

I'm the same. I WANT to know! Lol. Knowing my baby's gender brings it into a deeper sense of reality to me, and I very much enjoy planning based on gender... I LOVE buying cute little dresses, or little man outfits. Lol. Gender neutral shopping can be so boring, IMO.

I don't think it's fair to say you shouldn't be allowed to know just because he doesn't want to... It can be very easy to keep it a secret from him. Just limit the people you tell the gender to, and ask that if they buy you anything that is not gender-neutral to keep it at their place until after the birth... Or you can store them under a blanket in the baby's room, or under a tarp in the garage. Then it's on him to keep his curiosity in check. :)

This one is easy. Whichever one DOES NOT want to find out should be the one honored. It's not fair for one of you to know and the other one doesn't, especially since if you find out it would be very easy for you to slip on the secret. You might not tell HIM the secret but you could tell other people and/or start buying items that are gender related. Then he'd find out when he wanted to be surprised at the birth.

You can make a deal that neither of you find out the sex for the first child but with the next child, you get to find out during the pregnancy.

EDIT: Look, once you know, you can't unknow it. It's fun not to know. You'll live. You'll manage. There's no reason to go against the parent that doesn't want to find out, and go through that aspect of pregnancy as a couple. Why take that away from the person that wants to keep it a surprise? Why steal away the anticipation? Why be a Grinch?

Hubby kind of wanted to know, but not enough to make it an issue. I did NOT want to know. I love surprises. (Yes - I get the whole "but it is still a surprise in the ultrasound room" thing, but just not for me :) )

I didn't find there was that much to change. Yes - neutral clothing. But, I am a thrift bargain shopper, so I bought somethings for each gender. Heck - at $1 per piece I could afford to!

I think you should just wait. I would be worried about slipping up. If you do fine out, would you tell others? THEY might slip up! What about buying stuff. I did see a lady on t.v. that kept all the clothes covered with black garbage bags, but that would be too much for me!

With our first we did not want to know. With our second, I did not want to know but my husband did. My OB/GYN asked my permission before she told my husband. I had warned my husband that if he spoiled my surprise we were going to have a 3rd baby!!! Pregnancy hormones?!!

We've had 4 kids, we found out with the middle 2. My husband has always wanted to find out. I guess I had a weak moment with those 2. I felt like I was the one going through the pregnancy & ultimately it should be my decision. I know that's selfish but true. My husband admitted it was a great experience not knowing, he just doesn't have the willpower to wait. Our last baby was a girl, after 3 boys & he thanked me over & over , that we waited, said it was the best surprise ever.

We didn't find out with our first. We weren't hoping for a specific gender and were perfectly happy getting everything gender neutral, since we knew we'd have more kids anyway. It was fun to be surprised in the delivery room. Our first was a boy so, with our second, I decided I wanted to find out. I really wanted a girl and probably would have been a little disappointed initially if it was a second boy. I figured I'd rather be disappointed at 20 weeks and thrilled at 40, rather than have even a pang of disappointment once I delivered. Luckily, our second was a girl so there was never even of a pang of sadness.

Both ways were fun, but there definitely is an exciting element of surprise if you wait.

There's no way in heck I'd be waiting to find out if it was possible to find beforehand. Thankfully, husband agrees.

When we were having our first, we did not want to know and did not plan to find out. Then mid second-trimester, I had a scare with some bleeding and an overnight hospitalization. It left me feeling like if I might only have a tiny bit of time left with my baby, I wanted to know who that baby was, so I called my OB's office to ask for that portion of my amnio results, which I had declined knowing earlier on. I did not tell my husband. I did not tell anyone that I knew. I liked having the secret, being the only one knowing this thing about my baby.

It was hard not to slip in front of my husband, and having no one to show the cute things that I bought to. My husband was not angry afterward, he was glad that he did not know and didn't care that I did. I enjoyed getting to call everyone after with the news of a baby girl and her name (we had not released the chosen names to anyone beforehand).

Good luck

With my son we didn't find out. I KNEW it was going to be a boy, but he still wanted confirmation that I was right. I flat refused to allow the tech to say at the ultrasound. It also pissed his family off that I refused to have that ultrasound reveal. They hated having to buy gender neutral stuff.

Now, he and I had only been dating a couple months when I got pregnant. So, that had something to do with it all too.

We did find out with our daughter, and will be finding out with this one as soon as we're able.

You can find out with the ultrasound and he can find out at the birth. Just don't tell. You know your physician will know and he/she will be able to keep a secret. You can too.

My DH and I have two children together. The first one was born in 07 and he didnt want to find out the sex and we didnt, but the second who was born in 09, i did want to find out the sex, so we agreed that since he got his way the first time, this time it was my turn. Worked out great!
BTW, the second one was a boy so that made it even better! Our first was a girl!

It's a wonderful surprise no matter when you find out. I was glad to know for both of mine so that I could decorate my nursery for a boy and so that I didn't have to take back a bunch of girl clothes. (As if I'd have time to shop after the baby came.) I went shopping for gifts for a friend who was pregnant and didn't know the sex, and I had a really hard time finding clothes that weren't blatently one or the other...

With our first my husband wanted to know and I didn't. Since I was the one who was pregnant he let me choose and we didn't find out. This is probably an old wives' tale, but I had also heard or read that labor is often easier for those who don't know the gender. I have no scientific backing for that! With our 2nd I DID want to know, for a variety of reasons. I was also a somewhat high risk pregnancy and had a Level 2 ultrasound so it was easy to find out the 2nd time around. There are benefits to both ways. Best wishes!

I didn't find out the sex with my son. My husband was curious, but he figured I was the one who was pregnant -- it should be up to me. So I do think whoever is pregnant should have a bigger vote.

That said, it was wonderful for me to be surprised when my son was born. And it wound up being an important part of my parenting. I don't want to assume that a boy has to be all about trucks/sports and a girl has to be all about princesses. My son wound up being so much more unique and interesting than that, I'm glad my thinking wasn't all tied up in stereotypes.

But if you're the one going through the pregnancy and labor, you really should have at least a "vote and a half" :).