Not Eating - Lees Summit, MO

My son is 20 months and for the last two months he has been pretty picky too, extremely picky at times. He is coming out of it now. I know that kids go through stages like this in the toddler years. All I know is that I just fed him anything he would eat that was nutritious (we don't let him have sugar hardly ever). He was a chicken nugget fiend, but he loves crackers big time too! He wants chips, but we don't let him have very many since the are not high in nutrition. Hopefully it will pass soon!

Hey C....
I have a daughter that is turning 2 at the end of this month, and she too went thru the same eating habits. She went thru a phase that she wasnt eating at all, but when she did it was something so small that I worried 24/7. I questioned her doctor, and she stated that that was perfectly normal. They all go thru that, like a growth spurt. Then also, she went thru the hot dog and chicken nugget phase, and pretty much still to that. Well she'll eat a little beef or other chicken, but not much. From her docs point of view, it's to show their independentcy by eating those w/ their fingers... they dont need help. Just give it some time, and he'll grow out of it... and then you wont be able to keep enough food in front of him. He'll scarf it all down. That's what my daughter is at now... just give it some time, and he'll get thru it. He wont let himself starve thats forsure!

I would check with your doctor at his next checkup if he is still not eating, but remember that it is common for children at this age to change their eating habits. Children will not naturally go hungry! If he had a cold and was sleeping a lot, his body may not be needing as much food. When he really starts feeling better, he may go back to his regular eating habits.
When I had a daycare, we had a little girl that could eat VERY little food and did fine. She would only eat very select foods and very little of them. She was thin, but not unhealthy, really. So I would never force a child to eat, but provide him with healthy foods AND foods he likes all on the same plate. I do encourage all parents to get their children in the habit of at least trying a food, but not to force them. And remember, what he sees you eat, will influence what he eats!!

I've read everywhere that children will eat when they're hungry and not to worry if they skip a meal some times. If they have a good lunch, and won't eat dinner, it's not a big deal if they only have a little bit of it. If the meals are important to you, don't give him lots of snacks in between, just something light at snack time. Also, don't let him fill up on drinks before he eats his meal. Juice makes you feel like you're more full than you actually are. You may want to visit the dr. if it continues for much longer.

Decreased intake and food refusal is very common at that age. Their growth starts to slow around 18 months.. thus they need less.

Your responsibility is to provide healthy food for meals and snacks. His responsibility is to eat it when he is hungry. If you force the issue, eating will become and power struggle.

I suggest the Ellyn Satter RD books.. I believe her website is ellynsatter.com, but you can just search her name. She talks alot about the division of responsibility in feeding your child.

I've had this problem before. First, if children don't eat when they're sick, doctors and the books say don't worry! Even when we're sick, it's healthy to eat but we may lack the appetite. It's hard to impress on children to eat when they don't feel like it, so don't worry.

After children are sick, they tend to get spoiled. My son goes through this after every time he's sick. I coddle him, hold him, pay 100% attention to him, etc. My son also went through a stage when he only ate junk food and meat. No veggies and fruits. How I broke him is that I didn't feed him any junk food, only meat, veggies, fruits, and rice. At first, he wouldn't eat it. Sometimes he would shove hiw bowl and scream. I would take his bowl away and tell him not to eat, and act like I was eating his food. The first few times, he didn't care. But then he got hungry. After a while, he would eat, spit it out, and then I would go through the whole charade of taking away his food, telling him not to eat, and act like I was eating it. This worked for me. It took a while, I would say 3 or 4 days before I happily began eating healthy food. Despite all the energy that went into it, it was definitely well worth it b/c he went back to eating healthy food.

hi chrisi,
I would say to get him to start eating again start of with the crackers and stuff, try applesauce things like that more blander foods, nothing greasy. He might be still affected by the way things taste. Start out small and then work up to the things that you would rather him eat. I wouldn't force it that will probably cause you another problem and put you and him in a power struggle. Hang in there he'll eat, good luck W. mom of 4

First of all I wouldn't worry, everything I have read says they need way less food than we think they do, and even if it seems like they aren't eating much it usually evens out over several meals so they end up getting what they need. Just a thought, you say you also have a one month old. It could be that he has realized that not eating gets a reaction out of you and gets him attention that he is missing due to the new baby. I know how hard it is to give the older child as much attention when you have a new baby, I had my second when my oldest turned 2. I would just try to acknowledge him as much as possible at other times, and not make an issue out of him not eating. He will not let himself starve, and paying attention to his refusing to eat will probably just make it worse. Just keep putting healthy food in front of him, and when he is hungry he will eat. Good luck!

It can be very frustrating I know. I've dealt with it with my children too. Never ever force a child to eat though. One thing the doctor told me when I had discussed my concerns with this(greatly with my daughter who's always been on the low end of the weight charts) he told me to not worry because a child will not starve themselves. One thing I did was began to evaluate their eating habits. Like how much were they snacking during the day as opposed to eating actual meals. This was actually a big factor for us. I would give snacks when they were hungry for them so when it came time for supper and lunch, they weren't hungry anymore. I also set a time limit. Like during the day, no snacks after about 10:30-10:45 so they'll have enough time to be hungry for lunch at noon. Also, they are the biggest determinates in the equation. As long as your child is growing and is healthy. Then the factor of how much, or how little, they eat shouldn't be a big stress. Every child is different. My oldest daughter eats so much more than my other two. It's just kind of who they are, as well as their preferences in food. Also, another thing to keep in mind is the growth they go through. Sometimes they have growth spurts where they will eat ALOT. Next thing you know they level off their growing and their appetites decrease. So I wouldn't be too concerned with this. If you see a significant drop in weight or activity then I would contact the doctor.

Hi C.,

We went through this recently with my 19 month old, she had an eari nfection and was on antibiotics and wouldn't really eat anything. I've found that when I make her meals, I try to do things that will last a few hours, string cheese, apples, grapes, crackers, pb&j sandwiches. Then if she doesn't want to eat when I give it to her, I leave it on her table and eventually she goes back and eats when she's ready. Maybe his stomach shrunk when he was sick and it's taking some time to readjust. OR it could be that he's just not quite hungry when you feed him. Keep trying eventually he'll eat when he's hungry, but if you try to force him, its just frusterating for you and not really helping him. I promise, when he's hungry, he'll eat. :) Good luck!!

My daughter is 21 months and does the same thing periodically. Lately she has been eating one good meal a day and the others are going mostly in the floor. I don't think it is a good idea to force him. His system should work itself out and he will eating like normal again. Also, he will eat what you give him, eventually. So if all he is eating is crackers, don't give him crackers. Just be sure that you are offering lots of other more nutritional choices. He will eat when he gets hungry.

All of my children have gone through a spell where they stopped eating. We would only offer them meals at their normal eating times. If they did not eat, then they would wait until the next meal. We also only offered them the normal foods, not snacks or crackers. A child will not starve themselves although you may feel like they are. It can be so frustrating, just stick to your guns, and make sure they are getting plenty of fluid.

My kiddo just got over the same thing (same age). I was pretty concerned, and we were already at the Dr. for an ear infection, so I asked him about it. He said it's a phase, don't worry, keep offering variety of foods, but be prepared with the old standbys. But KEEP OFFERING OTHER FOODS. Mine went through a PB&J phase. I swear, she ate it every day for lunch and dinner for 2 weeks! And she still asks for it at every meal! But, eventually, she would pick at what i had made and decide she liked it. Now, she's back to eating better. One thing I want to mention, b/c I am a health nut: b/c of all the hydrogenated oils in peanut butter, I chose a brand that was free of hydrogenated and partially-hydrogenated oils. Those are Trans fats, and they are B-A-D!!!!! And I only made the PB&J on 100% whole wheat bread, with All-Fruit spread (less high fructose corn syrup and sugar than jelly). So, consider that if your kiddo only wants a couple of key foods, make them as healthy as possible. I.e., whole wheat pasta mac-n-cheese, whole grain crackers with no hydrogenated oils, turkey dogs, etc. Otherwise, you're stuck with a picky eater who prefers junk! No bueno, you know? Good luck!

it takes a few weeks to get everything to stop tasting like snot or cold medicine. Leave his favorite things out for him to graze on until you know he's 100% better. Work in a little more juice and pedialyte just to be safe.