My daughter is almost 27 months and she has a lot of typical two year old tantrums. However sometimes I wonder what is normal toddler behavior. She is my only child and from the moment she wakes in the morning until bedtime (sometimes) she cries and carries on. My patience is wearing thin but I need some advice on how to help her manage her emotions better.
Alyssa cries EVERY morning when she wakes up (at 5:30 often) if I don't come in to pick her up and I tell her to go back to sleep. She will cry for 30-60 minutes on and off. Throughout the day her way of communicating is to cry and hit. I keep reading that at this age toddlers cannot express themselves and that is why they get frustrated.
My mother says Alyssa is a typical toddler and most of my friends say "this too shall pass." I just need some ideas to better deal with a 14-15 hour day with a toddler I spend the most time with. Plus for the past week, she will only nap for an hour in her crib. Maybe she is giving up her nap (I don't want her to) but I know she needs a good nap, otherwise she is cranky and irritable.
I am considering black-out shades for her room to get her to hopefully sleep more. Someone suggested that idea. Thanks in advance for the advice.
Thanks Moms' for the advice. Yes, my daughter is talking and pretty verbal. She can tell me when she wants to eat or she is tired (I know that when she rubs her eyes and cries or fights me to go to sleep). At this time I do not think she needs any intervention. I think she is acting like a two year old and some kids have more tantrums than others. She acts one way with me and another way with my husband but isn't that how kids are?! As far as the tantrums in the morning when she wakes up (if I tell her to go back to bed), I think I created a bad habit where she relies on me to come to her as soon as she wakes up. Once in awhile Alyssa will go back to sleep but rarely. She really does only sleep for 9-10 hours a night. So she definitely needs a nap, even when she fights me. As for getting out more, I definitely agree. Money is super-tight right now so the park, mall-walking and the yard (I have a pool) are mainly it. I do take Alyssa to Gymboree once-a-week, sometimes twice if the weather is bad. They have play gyms with mixed ages. On weekends I have the opportunity to bring Alyssa to a lake with my husband (and dog). I also will do the library if there is story time or an activity/event. I had black-out shades that I hope I can find but I will repurchase them like one mom suggested on Amazon. Thanks again!
Do you do bath time before bed? That will most of the time sooth toddlers and calm them down. The shades are a very good idea some children do like it dark to sleep and that way they still think it is night time. Try taking her to play at the park or just outside around 6pm (or right after dinner time) then bath time and put her to bed with a sippy cup of milk. She may be hungry at 5:30 thats why she is waking up.
Getting out of the house is helpful. Join a playgroup, library story time, some type of toddler class in your area, go to the park, grocery store, walk. These things will help distract her from the crying behavior along with help to tire her out so she will nap. They'll also give some sort of structure to your day. If she cries during outings, don't worry and don't stop going, she'll get better.
I think at her age she does still need a nap in the afternoon. We have blackout shades and they work very well.
go with the blackout shades! They did wonders for my kids and helped them sleep for hours more. You said you have 14-15 hour days with her, does that mean she's only sleeping 9-10 hours at night? That's definitely not enough for a 2 year old and I don't think she's truly ready to give up naps either. They have these cheapish ones on amazon that we love--they're called Redi-Shades and they are so simple and effective. Hopefully once she starts getting more sleep, her behavior will change for the better. Best of luck!
2 year olds are terrible.. she is too young to give up a nap. My kids napped until 4 and 5 years old.
I am wondering if she is teething.. 2 year molars can be painful. Sometimes when my daughter was horrible - I tried some motrin and she was nice again. Sometimes they cant tell you that something hurts.
Keep a log of her sleep.. write down the times she goes to sleep and wakes up.. see if her behaviour is worse when she gets less sleep. My kids need 11 hours of sleep.. If they dont get the sleep.. they are horrible.
get her out of the house..join a playgroup.. take a parent and tot swim class. go to the park, go ot the library story time.. you have to get her distracted from crying. hire a babysittere and take a couple of hours of mommy time...
Have you had her eyes and ears tested?
My son had to get glasses at 18 months, and up untill he did he was the crankiest little boy in the world.. frustrated because he could not see.. and we did not know... I felt we needed to do something so I went for all his checkups, and more... got his eyes checked, ears, speech... and trust me it is all connected. I dont want to scare you at all, I just want to let you know that there has to be a reason, no matter how small you think it might be, that your little princess is moody.
Could be teething, could be feeling lonely, could be that she reached the "mommy" period where she wants you at her side 24/7.
But, observe her, see when she is acting out, make notes. Call your pediatrician and give her/him all the symptoms and tantrums. It might be something you have not thought of.
I just learned my son has sensory issues and has difficulty communicating... that in itself must be frustrating. So the tantrums still continue.. but not as much as before he got his eyes checked..
Hang in there momma, it will get better.. talk to your pediatrician, and make appts to get her checked out.
For sleeping, make sure her room is nice and dark, maybe turn on a fan.. the white noise calms them.
Hugs
I noticed you said her way of communicating is by crying and hitting... Does she verbally communicate at all? I would run it by her Ped, to see what his thoughts are. I have a 3 yo and at 27months, she would try to tell me what was wrong. Like if she was tired, she would say "Ty-red"or hungry"Hun-gee", etc. I don't deal with the whiney part very well either! Kids develop so differently, it's so hard to tell what is "normal"these days!
Get the book Happiest Toddler on the Block
Black out shades, music, maybe put a book or something she can do in her crib that might destract and calm her. I agree with other moms about her teething. Also, is she verbal at all? Most toddlers at 27 months, are able to talk a bit and say a list of words. My son wasn't very verbal at that age, and the only way he could communicate is by crying, using his hands, etc..I would talk to her pediatrician, she might need some early intervention.
By son used to wake up at 5am every morning and not go back to sleep. The only thing that worked for me was to skip the nap. I stopped putting him down for a nap and now put him to bed at his normal bed time (8:30pm) and now he wakes up around 8am every morning. He was waking up that early simply because he wasnt tired. I also find that if I take him out to the park and let him run around he sleeps better at night. He is 28 months old.
She sounds like she is teething. Keep up with the naps they will get longer again. Black out curtains are a great idea!!
I agree with others about getting out of the house everyday. Now that is warmer you can go to the parks and pools. If it's to hot just put her in a stroller and walk around the mall. It will give you a mental break and her something to look at.
Going in at 5:30 every morning to get her to fall back to sleep will pass. If you do this now she will feel secure that you are in fact there in the house and eventually she will just put herself back to sleep at that time.
Also when she is tantruming start giving her the words to express herself with. "Are you mad"? "Alyssa is mad, she wants juice but mom said no"
Learned from a book, I sometimes act like my toddler when mad. I stomp my feet and make a mad face and carry on like I am having a tantrum - sometimes they have stopped freaking out just to watch me be a freak LOL
At that age, kids tend to wake up at the same time every day, no matter what time they went to sleep. Our 27 month old fought bedtime last night and didn't settle down until after 10:00. Waaaay too late for him, but he was bright eyed and bushy tailed at 6:30 this morning :-) I'm hoping for an earlier than normal nap to help get him back on schedule. He really needs to go to bed around 8:00, so I have a few tricks I'm going to use today to try and get him to bed on time tonight.
Some kids are a little grouchy when they first wake up in the morning. If you think it's more than that, then she's probably not getting enough sleep. She might need an earlier bedtime.
This is a tough age because they do lack the language skills to tell you what's wrong, and they lack the understanding to know themselves what is wrong.
Good luck! This is a tough age in many ways, but you'll get through it together :-)
