Normal 3 Yo Behavior?

Sounds normal.

We thought we were lucky and skated through the Terrible Twos--but the Threes were much harder! LOL

I always told my son "That's OK, I love you enough for both of us."

totally normal! My little bit is the same age and he says that stuff to us too. Just the other night he told me he wanted a new mommy b/c I was making him go to bed and he didn't want to. A few minutes later he was calling for me and crying so I went up there and he says "Mommy, I'm sorry, I want you as my Mommy always"

Sounds normal to me! Be thankful his crying only lasts for a minute! When my son was 3, a few of these fits would go on for lots and lots of minutes! 3's truly were worse than 2's in this house by far. But at a little over 4 it is rare for him to have an outburst. Just be consistent in how you handle and youre doing great!

It's a phase... my little guy (same age) doesn't do it all day, but then again he's in preschool most of the day! At home, though, he'll get upset and tell us something along the lines of "I don't care about you" or "You're not my friend"- both of which are phrases picked up from his friends.

I tend to respond with "I'm sorry you feel that way. We use kind words and you need to go in the other room until you are ready to be kind." We also try to get him to identify his actual emotion (frustrated, angry, sad, scared, etc) rather than just getting upset. He's getting better. He'll also tell us when he needs a timeout- if we ask "You are getting upset. Do you need a timeout to calm down?" Sometimes he's says "yes" and goes to his room to pull it together and sometimes he says "no".

Either way, it's a phase and the best thing to do (in my experience) is to not take it personally and try to use each episode as an opportunity to make him more self-aware!

It's a normal phase and you are handling it just fine! I would probably also say, "That makes me very sad to hear...to help him get the jist that he is being hurtful in his words:)

Dr. Sears has some great advice about handling the 3's and communicating with them and helping them understand their emotions... I agree, the 3's can be rough:
http://askdrsears.com/topics/discipline-behavior

It's definitely a phase, and I'd say you on a good path considering how articulate he is. When he comes back all calm, that's a good time to explore other words he can use to express his feelings: You are so mad and frustrated, you want to let me know, but it hurts my feelings when you say you don't love me, AND it's not true. So you could say "I am very frustrated, I need a time out, I'm going to go calm down..."
He's learning how to express himself, and what is and isn't acceptable. It could be much much worse.

Oh, so normal! My girls were angles at two! I kept thinking, "Wow, what were they talking about when they said 'terrible twos'?" I kept thinking that I had the best twin girls EVER--until they turned three. :( Yes, all you mothers who have been there, I hear you laughing!
OMGosh! One is the biggest whiner and fake crier ever and her fav new thing to say is, "your stupid!" (usually to me)
Her twin sister now wears her heart on her sleeve and everything hurts her feelings. She just hunkers down on the floor like a little tree frog (all arms and legs pulled in) and either cries or gives these huge sighs that let you know that her world just ended!
Fortunatly, everyone I know (including other mothers of twins, who warned me about age 3) says that it gets much better from here on out. At least until they are teenagers.

Yes, normal. Both of my boys skipped the 2's and gave me a 3yr old issues right around the same age. You are doing a great job with consistance he will snap outof it.

Keep up the GREAT job Mom!!!

You are doing great! My son is almost 4 and has started the "I don't like you anymore" stage...yes, it will end! You are handling it perfectly ;-)! I truly think the 3's are worse than the 2's!!! Stay strong mama!

Normal, he's just trying out the words. You are handling it fine and it sounds like he is too. And yes, they have to do the same thing over and over and over and over again until they figure it out. I certainly would not 'discipline' him for telling you his feelings - this is what he is feeling at that moment - so what if it's not nice - you want him to know he can tell you anything - even the mean hard feelings he will have.

Yes, normal.

My son, was so 'normal' from 1 and 2 years old. Then at about 3, he got more... expressive and emotional too.
I just taught him how to express himself, the words for his feelings, and that I am there for him.

Kids this age, DO NOT have automatic inherent ability... for understanding nor handling, their emotions.
Emotions, are not even fully developed yet, at this age.
Hence, their acting like this.
So they need, guidance.

Sure, its tiring, but this is childhood. They are not, succinct about everything yet. They are only 3. Even some adults are not articulate about their emotions. So in light of his age, he IS doing the best he can and he is normal.
But they need guidance.
Boys especially, NEED to be taught, that it is okay to have feelings and to express it. Good or bad.
I tell my kids, that even Mommy, has grumpy feelings or happy feelings. Its okay, but we LEARN how to say it. Which you need to teach a child that.

4 years old, is even harder.

I think you are handling it great!!!! he is doing it for attention and he wants you to get down and play or love on him. and by you pretty much ignoring it he is learning that it doesnt work. I cannot imagine how much it sucks to hear that, but just know it probably is just a phase.

First thing to ask yourself is has his routine changed at all? Secondly it does sound pretty normal. At three while they can talk their minds are still working faster then what they can communicate so there are major meltdowns. Even with my 4 year old.

To me that signifies a sensory processing issue. HAvbe him evaluated by a SIPT certified OT to see what is happening with his arousal and activity levels in his central nervous system.

Yes it's normal. If you're OK with it, then continue as you are. It may get worse, or is he's a natural angel, it may not. Saying something kind to him whenever he says something mean to you will not be an effective deterrent most likely to a three year old boy. If it works, great. If not, and you want him to learn he's not allowed to be disrespectful to you and throw fits, then discipline that particular behavior while keeping the rest of your day loving and possible as usual. If you're interested in that approach, this book is great, Back to Basics Discipline by Janet Campbell Matson. He will still love you even if you don't let him treat you badly and dive into the terrible threes (and fours).

Yes, if it doesn't come at 2 it will hit at 3 or 4. It is most likely a stage but I feel as with any other stage, it is a molding process. What if they get used to behaving a certain way? Luckily your son has learned to step away from a situation that gets him upset and calm down. Then he comes out and knows his words were wrong. That's a positive (as annoying as it can be over and over again). Maybe you can help him assess the situation and talk about how we can handle it next time. Give him words and tools to help him express he is upset but that no matter what, we still love each other. You can be mad at someone and still love them. That's important! And cudos to you for telling him you still love him. Ask him, "what can we do or say next time when we get upset or don't agree with something?" and then start the conversation. Sometimes we even role play the scenario to make sure he uses the right words. Imagine him saying something similar to his friends that don't want to play a game with him or a teacher that doesn't let him do something in class. What should he say in that aspect? Keep your patience up. Sounds like you are a good mom doing a great job!

totally normal phase. He is just trying to push your buttons using words. As long as you don't react more than you have, he'll give up and find a different way to try to get your worked up. When my DD was 3yrs old almost 4, she told me and my DH 'you aren't my only child' and stormed off to her bedroom. She said it because she was mad she got in trouble and tried to say something mean to us to make us sad. Of course we got a good laugh out of it especially since she was at that time, my only child! lol

Good luck
S.

You know what? My daughter would say the same thing to me at that age! I read the book "Your 3 Year Old: Friend or Enemy" by Bates and Ames and I recognized a lot of the behaviors. It's part of a series of books and has a lot of good developmental information. Apparently the half ages (2.5, 3.5, etc) are periods where you do see more challenging behaviors. The book made me feel better with regards to what was normal. My son just turned 3, so it's probably time to break it out again!