Hi everyone I just found this site! What a great place to get some other moms/dad's advice!
My DS is my first he's 2.4 years old, this will probably be a few questions rolled into one lol.
1. To be fair my DS hasn't been around many children his own age,
Maybe a handful of times. I don't have anyone I know that has kids, so I've been trying to find some programs around here, but there are so few and so far away. The other day an old friend was in town with her so who is 2 also. They came over and right away my DS wants to hug and kiss the kid. It seemed like he was in awe at first, walking up so close to him, then the hugging and hand holding came. He did this same thing to another child, like 4 yr old a few months back at a birthday party. He will not do this with adults, thank god. Is this ok? My family and I are big huggers and kissers, if it matters.
2. He's unable to put on socks and shoes on. It's hard for me to even get his shoes on though, he tries but can't get them on.
3. He doesn't really ever want to color, he'll scribble a bit then he's done. I try to get him to copy lines or a circle and he just doesn't want to. He only likes coloring in the bath with his bath crayons.
4. Another one I was worried I read on a milestone type chart. It said your child should be able to use a stick or some other implement to reach a toy that they can't get. My DS doesn't do this. If he can't reach something he either climbs to get it or will say "mommy, I want xxx." I think this was under cognitive development, which worries me :(
He's such a nice little guy. For the things he can't do he can do lots of other things. He knows all shapes, colors and letters. Can identify numbers 1-10 and count to 4. He speaks fairly well, mostly all sentences. He's very observant and comments on EVERYTHING lol. He likes to pretend to play the drums and guitar and likes to cook in his kitchen. He can do his puzzles and can stack blocks (when he wants to ;) He's polite and always says please and thank you. He knows all his animals and their sounds.
The milestone lists really scare me if he misses one or two. Are they set in stone or can they sometimes be taken with a grain of salt?
He sounds like a perfectly normal 2 year old. Relax and just enjoy him. They learn thru play and just by doing everyday things.
He sounds perfect! Enjoy him!!
I never consulted a milestone list. My daughter did what she did when she decided she was ready to do it.
All normal. Normal not to give a darn about coloring or circles, normal to NOT want to "perform on command" (if you want him to do X, he refuses? Normal!), normal to be affectionate with stranger kids, normal (and smart) to ask mommy for X rather than using some stick (?) to get it. Normal not to put on his own socks and shoes yet.
I would strongly suggest that you join a weekly playgroup with other moms who have kids the age of your son. He will get regular play time with kids his age and you will get to know mothers who have kids this age and possibly older kids too -- so they can reassure you that he's fine. Some churches or community centers host playgroups. Or look at your local parks and recreation department or community center or recreation centers for "toddler and me" classes where moms participate alongside children this age in tumbling, or finger painting or whatever. Classes can lead to play dates and friendships for both of you. Do things that expose him to other kids and you to other parents. You need mom friends to reassure you that he's fine.
Please ignore most of the "milestones" stuff, unless it comes from your pediatrician. If you saw that chart online, that is not a good place to learn anything like that. You will drive yourself crazy worrying over one item on one chart on one website or in a magazine. Ask the doctor if you have a concern but don't get wrapped up in surveys, questionnaires or charts about where your child "should" be. Please, please stop looking at them at all! They are stressing you out and HE can detect when mommy is stressed, believe me.
He is not even three yet and the things you describe like identifying numbers, talking, play, etc. sound great. He sounds like a fine young guy.
He sounds like a normal, healthy, absolutely delightful little boy.
Please, please just throw those milestone charts away. At 2 and change, a child should be walking (though it's normal to take plenty of tumbles) and using some words. He should recognize his parents and show good verbal comprehension. *Everything* else is icing on the cake.
I say this as the mom of a little boy who "failed" just about all his milestones up to age 3. And I was in agony over it. I am not exaggerating. At your son's age, my son still couldn't speak in full sentences -- maybe 2- and 3-word clusters at best. He didn't start doing puzzles until he was almost three. And he was terrified of all other children; huddled in a corner and hid.
Today, at 7, he is reading at a 6th grade level. He's taught himself the multiplication tables and the concept of exponents and square roots. Uses words that you see in the SATs, and spells them correctly too. And, um, he STILL doesn't want to color or draw. Ever. I just don't worry about it anymore ;).
I hate milestone lists. Do YOU do everything that typical adults do? Are kids allowed to have likes/dislikes and things that they just aren't interested in? Maybe he doesn't want to color. Maybe he doesn't use a stick to get something because he knows you'll do it.
My daughter hardly talked at all until she was 3. Everyone kept telling me to get her into speech therapy, maybe she's hard of hearing... blah blah blah... She's just fine now!!
Your son sounds wonderful, and you sound like a great Mom, and everything's gonna be fine!
Welcome to Mamapedia! This is a great site with a lot of really great information.
Your son is just FINE! My daughter started head start this year, 3 and 4 year olds, and her teacher is teaching them that we can hug and hold hands, but no kissing on the other kids. I think it is completely normal that he is doing these things.
As for his shoes and sock? I don't think most kids at this age can do that, so the fact that he is trying is a huge thing. Don't worry about his not being able to do them.
Kids don't start drawing circles and more than scribble until they are older, I think circles are a 3 year old milestone. But, milestones are a continuum. They are not supposed to hit all the milestones right at the month it says. If you are unsure please ask your pediatrician, but from what you are describing here your son is right on track. Good job with the letters, numbers, etc. He is doing well and that means you are doing a good job.
1-4 - all normal.
Make an effort to spend more time around kids his age - playground, mall, grocery store, playdates at your house or theirs etc etc and be more observant in how they behave. You'll soon see how normal your child is.
Your son is doing just fine. Milestones are not written in stone. They are a list of what a child is working on around that period of time/age. Every child has their own timing. Some will meet the milestone early and some later. The one with the stick is not a usual milestone. And why would he reach with a stick when he can climb or ask for help? I suggest that you look at milestones as a guide and that you consider them while using common sense. Also know that the majority of babies do reach milestones, tho some will reach them later. And pediatricians are only concerned when a child shows multiple deficits. The likelyhood of your baby having a problem is small.
Look for and celebrate his success. Only pay attention to the negative when he is way behind in more than one milestone.
He sounds normal.
1. It sounds like he really loves to be around other children. Have you tried the YMCA? Ours has preschool play set up in the gym every morning with bouncers, riding toys, gymnastic equipment etc. There are lots of kids there to play with. When my kids were little I figured out what time of day the local daycare took the kids to the playground and I took mine at the same time so they would have lots of kids to play with.
2. At that age my kids could get slip on shoes, Crocs and rubber boots on. When you shop for shoes buy the ones he can put on himself. Saves everyone frustration.
3. My boys never wanted to colour at that age or any age. They learned how to colour at nursery school, and they did it well, but they never enjoyed it. It was boring work as far as they were concerned.
4. I would not give this milestone another thought. Why try to get a toy with a stick if you can simply ask someone to hand it to you, or climb up and get it. It think the point is he figures out how to get the toy.
With milestones there is such a huge range of normal. Don't worry, you will know if there is something wrong.
All normal. My kids hate coloring.
Those milestone lists are more like guidelines. No child is going to be developing exactly the same way at the same rate as they say. I.E. My younger brother did not start talking until he was two and once he started he never shut up. He graduated salutatorian of his high school class, earned a law degree from UT Austin, and has been practicing law since 1990. Pretty good for some one once labeled "retarded" because he didn't measure up to the "standards."
If you're really concerned, talk to your pediatrician about it, but it sounds to me as if you're doing a great job raising a normal little boy.
Oh, and check out your local library for toddler story times. I took both my girls to those regularly because they weren't usually around other kids their ages. It's a break for both of you for an hour; you might both find new friends. Good luck.
I have a 2 year old too (almost three now!) and this all sounds completely normal to me! There is a website meetup.com where you can sign up for moms groups and meet with other moms and kids. That is what really helps me, to check in with other moms. It may be nice to have this support as they get closer to age three - for me it's gotten more challenging and it's great to know other moms going through the same things.
I just want to agree with the other moms that he sounds perfectly normal and also make a suggestion about where to meet other moms & kids if you're looking for that. Have you tried your local library to see if they do a story time? We recently moved and, besides church, that is where my 3yo gets the most interaction with kids other than his sister. :) You're doing great!
