Non Sleeping Infant

Updated on August 29, 2007
L.B. asks from Winter Haven, FL
13 answers

I have a 9 month old baby boy, my first child.. He is still waking once to twice at night.. Was wondering if this is normal -- any tips on how to get him to sleep through the night. He is a healthy 25 lb baby boy-- I know he can sleep for at least 8 hours without eating.. I don't know how else to get him back to sleep except to nurse him. Please help an exhausted mom -----

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So What Happened?

Thank you everyone for your advice... After 9 months of not sleeping I now have a problem with not being to fall asleep.. However, last week I began to let my son cry it out.. I have tried this before but could not stick to it.. I would eventually go in and get him and soothe him.. But I had enough, I was only able to do this by turning the volume on the monitor off so I could not hear him if he woke up in the middle of the night then after 4 nights of him crying I'm sure... I now have the monitor on at night and he now is sleepiing a straight 10-12 hours without waking.. He is also a much happier baby when he wakes now.. Also he is taking longer naps... Sleeps promotes more sleep... Thank you everyone

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S.

answers from Naples on

Hi L.
What I did with all three of my children was to give them cereal before bed, either in a bottle or a small bowl. Not to much or you may have a little one up all night with a belly ache. The only other thing I can think of would be to shorten the last nap before bed. Hopefully this is helpful.

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T.F.

answers from San Francisco on

I don't think it's at all abnormal for a 9 month to not sleep through the night. The suggestions of soft music or ocean sounds and an article of your clothing are good suggestions. One thing that worked for us was to use diaper doublers. I think it was the shock and discomfort of the wetness that was waking our baby. I also don't think his weight is a factor. I know it's hard when you're exhausted but try to enjoy the time you have with him when he wakes. Believe me it's all over way to quickly. Good Luck.

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C.J.

answers from Naples on

I have a 21 month old and an 8 month old. I have created a bed time routine, so they know it is almost bed time. They take a bath and we read books. In their room I play the same soothing cd and they have the same items in their bed each night (pacifier, blanket and one toy or book). I have found the key to be once you put them to bed, you must stick to it. At this age they can sleep through the night 10-12 hours! He is probably waking because he has internal clock set to wake up and he cries cause he knows you will come. So you have to reset his internal clock - which may mean him crying himself to sleep. If he is going nuts I would calmly go in his room lay him down restart music or whatever you do - but do not take him out of be or talk, just remind him it is bed time. This is a challenge, but both of you need a good nights sleep. Good Luck

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P.G.

answers from Orlando on

My son is nine and still wakes up at least once a night. I wake up at least twice a night. It's normal to wake up throughout the night. We go through lighter and deeper stages of sleep throughout our sleep cycle. Most of us just roll over and go back to sleep. If your son is used to having you around when he falls asleep he will want you there to get him back to sleep.

I guess there are ways to train your child to put himself back to sleep, but I didn't use them and didn't really want to. I didn't want my son to be alone and crying at night.

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K.J.

answers from Naples on

Sounds like you are reliving my first born son's sleep pattern. So not fun. I feel for you. This is temporary. There are so many different parenting philosophies out there when it comes to sleep training. You have to find one that suits you and your little man. I was not a "let him scream it out" parent. I relied heavily on a paci once he was at the 9 month stage and I knew he was just not a self soothing baby. There are many that would disagree with me on this, since you have to help them find the paci in the middle of the night when they loose it. But also there are dental concerns raised when you are nursing your child to sleep when teeth have erupted. So look through the parenting info on sleep training. The first baby stuff is so trail and error. My son slept through the night for the first time one week before his first birthday. They just finally learn to settle themselves during the different sleep cycles in the night. Good luck! K. J.

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L.Z.

answers from Punta Gorda on

I did the same thing ..
My daugther now is 21 m and she has been sleeping through the night since she was 4 m ( 12 hours )...
Sometimes she gets up ( i can hear w/ monitor)and she goes back to sleep by herself.

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J.H.

answers from Fort Myers on

Hi L.,
Well I don't know if I have advice for you because I'm in a similar boat with my 8 month old daughter, but from what I've been reading this is still pretty normal. My daughter gets up at least once a night, sometimes twice. I guess at this point they are starting to go through separation anxiety and the wake-up are more about reassurance and security, then about hunger. I nurse to sleep also. According to the reading, this is a stage that will pass. HOpefully sooner rather than later.
-J.

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P.P.

answers from Orlando on

You might want to try putting some soft music in the baby's room. Also, put a robe or somethign that you where with your body fragrance on it. Because , it's not so much the milk the baby hungers for more than it is the comfort of your touch, or even your scent. Get a nice teddy bear and dress it in one of your clothing items that you frequently wear. It should work.

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J.P.

answers from Fort Myers on

Wow L.... I woke up today sad.. wondering if anyone knew what this was like. It seems everything I read or whoever I talk to people are saying their babies are sleeping through the night. NOT MINE! and its getting unbearable. Last night, I ended up crying along with my baby boy and my husband had to comfort me as well. In my situation, sometimes its every 15-30 minutes he is waking up. He NEVER sleeps more than 2 hours straight. I'm beginning to think there is somethign wrong. I wondered if its teething, but how long does that last?? This has been going on for weeks now. ANd even before that he still woke up every 3-4 hours for a bottle. I've tried the CIO method.. he just goes on and on and gets to the point where he is UNCONSOLABLE. Someone told me its him being spoiled, I get so upset at this. How can a baby crying every 30 min be crying because he is spoiled? Also, he seems to have nightmares... EVERY SINGLE FREAKING NIGHT.. and I don't know what to do. He is crying in his sleep, as if he were in pain or having a horrible dream. It happens way too much and my doc is like whatever. Has anyone else ever heard of these nightmares that babies have? Anyway im sorry I don't have any suggestions for you... I was going to post for advice but saw your request and wanted to write. Good Luck.

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K.W.

answers from Orlando on

Oh you must be so tired!
He doesn't NEED to be nursed--he just accustomed to it, so he WANTS to be nursed...at his age-he should be able to sleep 11-12 hours w/o needed to be fed or woken up.

Now you just have to teach him how to do so. Ideally, the transition would be easier for him if someone besides you, his food supply, would go in and comfort him to help him back to sleep-but you can still do it yourself, it will just be a bit harder.

First, stop nursing him at night--comfort him back to sleep but don't let him nurse. Give him a bottle if you have to, to help with the idea that mommy is not open this hour, but if he does take the bottle, you'll have to ween him of that too--so i recommend not doing that unless you can get him to sleep any other way.
Sooth him, rock him, shh him, pat him, (don't talk to him) to help him get back to sleep. The first night will take the longest-so stay strong, but each night will get better. If you nurse him--it will only take that much longer-so don't doubt yourself, remain strong and remember your goal--to have BOTH of you have a good night sleep.
He may continue to wake up after this--because again-his clock is set to do so, if he continues to wake up after you have weened him of the feeding--then you'll need to start going in there less and less-so he learns hwo to get himself back to sleep without your help.
I highly recommend getting
The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems: Sleeping, Feeding, and Behavior--Beyond the Basics from Infancy Through Toddlerhood by Tracy Hogg
http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Whisperer-Solves-Your-Problems...
The library has it if you don't want to buy it.
She goes into much more detail on getting your baby to sleep through the night and dealing with different feeding issues associated with it. If you stick to her plan, you both will be sleeping through the night in a week or so....

Good luck!

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M.A.

answers from Orlando on

Hi L.! I can relate! My son is just about to turn 10 mos next week. At the 8.5/9 mos mark, I was losing my mind. My son was still waking up anywhere from 2-4 times a night on average and my body and mind were struggling to function. We tried a few things...since I am breastfeeding, I thought maybe I just couldn't keep up with his needs (I could hear his stomach growling when I nursed him in the night). So, we started giving him a bowl of oatmeal right before bed. After a few nights of this, he started waking up less. Then, when he did wake up, instead of going right in, we would let him cry a little bit. We were shocked when he started falling back asleep a few days in. Then, after a few nights of this he woke up even less. Now we are getting a full night's sleep out of him (8:30pm-7:00am), with an occassional time that we will get up once with him in the night. One more thing...we also started increasing his food intake throughout the day. We made sure he was eating 3 good meals a day and offered healthy snacks once or twice as well (sometimes he'll take it, sometimes he won't). We also started offering 2-4 oz of water, but that was because he was constipated.

I hope this helps. I know how hard it is when they are STILL waking up that much at that age. Hang in there...it only took us a few weeks to turn things around!
M.

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N.S.

answers from Orlando on

My son is 9 months old and starts "talking" in his sleep - and it gets louder and louder that my husband or I have to walk over and put a pacifier in his mouth. That has been going on for atleast 3 months. We stopped feeding him at night because he was getting used to us feeding him and he was waking up. Don't stop all together. Start slowly and slowly take away a feeding (that is if you are still feeding him at night) We would just come in, rub his back, face, etc and put a pacifier in his mouth. Now, he doesnt' expect to eat but still "talks" in his sleep that it wakes us up and we also freaked out he may completely wake up that we rush to put a pacifier in his mouth. Another idea, I rock my son before he goes to bed. That sometimes eases the "separation". Feeding food before they go to bed (ie oatmeal, etc) doesn't work. You just need to slowly start taking away night-time feedings. Take one away, wait a couple of days then take away another. Just play it by ear. Eventually, he will get used to it. Hope this helps.....it's just what has worked for us.

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T.B.

answers from Lakeland on

L., Oh my gosh, I have been there! Actually, just there. My son is 14 months, and JUST started sleeping through the night! He was still getting up every 2 hours! My problem was that he would wake up, and the easiest thing to do was nurse him back to sleep. So at 13 months, we stopped nursing at night. Now, that wasn't the magic answer, either, because he needed to learn how to fall asleep on his own- he had always nursed to sleep. We tried EVERYTHING! There are a lot of sleep methods out there, and I would encourage you to try a few out, because every child is different, and what will work for one baby will not work for the next one. What eventually worked for us was a modified cry it out. Don't cringe when you hear CIO! I know I did, but like I said, we tried everything, and this was the only thing that worked for us. It started at naptime. I put him in his crib, and sat on the floor with my computer or a book, and ignored him. He didn't cry right away, he just played for a bit, and then got bored and started fussing. He eventually was crying, but only for maybe 10 minutes. Then after he realized I wasn't going to take him out of the crib (****This is a BIG hint, you HAVE to be consistent, whatever you do) he went to sleep. Then we tried it at night. He would wake up still, but instead of nursing him to sleep, I would go in, give him his binky and pat his back and he would go right back to sleep. I would NEVER take him out of his crib, unless of course he had a poopy diaper. Once he realized there was nothing good going on when he woke up, he started sleeping through the night. Now he goes to sleep at 7:30, and usually won't wake up until 6:30-7. It's also a good idea to establish a routine, so he knows it's bedtime- read him a story, rock him, whatever. Hope that helps.

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