My daughter, age 2, has within the last few day decided that she can no longer sleep in her own bed. She has only slept with us once when she was sick. She wants to sleep with us, but I don't think it's a good idea. She screams and screams for hours, and she won't stay in her room or bed. She throws the biggest temper tantrum I've ever seen. Which is not normal for her. She has a nightlight in her room, and she listens to stories on a tape to help her relax. We have always kept the same bedtime routine, and bedtime. Nothings changed out of the ordinary. It's very stressful to her older brother who has to go to sleep becasue he has school. I've always been very adamant about bedtime schedules to avoid this. I don't know what to do. Please help.
I've been sitting in her room with her until she goes to sleep. I don't talk to her or make eye contact. I did forget to mention that she recently had a cast put on her leg from a trampoline encounter. But she had that for about a week before this had started. Last night she went to bed without a fuss, but tonight she said "I can't sleep in my bed" She wanted to go anywhere but her bed. I held her, and we prayed together. She was still crying when I laid her in her bed. I layed on the floor beside her bed and closed my eyes. It didn't take her long to stop crying and fall asleep. She knew I was there. Thank you everyone for your advice. I will keep you posted on this to let you know how it goes.
I am having this same exact problem, could you please write me with anything that works, S. ____@____.com
Maybe you could try making a palette on the floor next to your bed for her? That way she has you nearby, but she won't get addicted to sleeping in bed with you.
Hi, my name is T. and we recently went through this with our 2 year old son. We found that if we gave him one of daddy's shirts to sleep with it made him calmer and it made him feel more safe. He has since then slept in his own bed with no complaints...
Hi V.
I know your pain. I have a 2 1/2 year old and she went thru the same like yours. What my husband and I end up doing was laying down with her for a couple a days, so we could re-assure her that going to bed by herself is ok and nothing is going on in her bedroom. Remember could have been a bad dream or one of our night lighting storms that could cause her to be afraid and she don't feel secure anymore in her bed and by herself. It work for us, hopefully it does for you.
Good luck
M.
My son is 3 and did the same thing. I did not want him sleeping with us.... but, I finally let him and the newness of it wore off... soon, I would pretend to sleep with him in his bed, then once he fell asleep I would go to my own bed. It's worth it for more sleep...:)
They won't be kids forever...:)
Try staying with her in her room for a little while to make her feel secure in there while she is in bed. She's probably having dreams and is scared to be alone. It's important that she feel safe and comfortable in her own room instead of only yours. Don't ignore her. She should know that mom is not far if something is frightening her. Every now and then my son has a scary dream and I always come to him in his room and talk to him, pray, and sing a song. Then he's ready to sleep. (He is now 31/2) You can also reward her in the morning for staying in her bed. Hope this helps.
My 1yr old went through this last week. It lasted about 4 days. But he is now back to normal. Do you think she may be getting sick or is ANYTHING going on in her world that may be causing stress. That was the issue with my son.
Since 13 weeks he's been an excellent sleeper and has been in his own crib, as with you only slept with us when sick and that wasn't even the whole night, just till he dosed off. But last week he REFUSED to sleep in his crib and would throw tantrums for hours, getting so worked up I was in tears.
My advice would be to keep up your routine and it should pass. Another possibility could be that she is over tired. Have you considered moving up her bed time?
We had this problem and just layed down with our son until he was almost asleep. If you wait and leave after she falls asleep she may wake up in the night screaming because you aren't there (we went through this too). We eventually figured out he was "scared" of a new clock we put in his room.
However, I still think something has changed that has her behaving this way. You say her brother goes to school, is this something new this year that could have her bothered? Is there something new in her room? Talk to your pediatrician, maybe they can give you some insight.
The same thing happened to me about 2 months ago. My daughter will be 2 in september. What type of bed does she have? Our problem was that Erin just wanted a bigger bed. She now has her own twin size bed and we have not had the same problem again.
Dear V- I have 2 boys ages 6 and 4. My 4 year old still sleeps with me. Worst mistake ever! lol She could be having nightmares which is the cause of the clinginess. Hold strong with your desision on making her sleep in her own bed. It is a phaze and she will grow out of it. If you start letting her sleep with you know, you will have a very hard time beaking that habit.
You said in your e-mail that nothing's changed, but it really sounds like from her behavior that something's different? You might want to call your pediatrician. Mine has had great advice for behavorial issues. Like you, I have heard that co-sleeping is not a good idea, but you should do what you feel is best for your family. One of the books we have suggests that when they are upset, sick, etc. instead of letting them in your bed, lay down in THEIR bed to comfort them. Might give you some peace? Maybe give it a try for your son's sake. Good luck. Sorry I don't have more advice.
As the mother of a child with sensory issues, I learned two odd things that completely contradicted everything all the classic children's books and theories taught on sleeping. First, he was stimulated by the music playing in his room and that actually kept him awake. Didn't matter that it was classical lullaby stuff (Brahms, Beethoven, all the CDs designed for putting kids to sleep at night). The other was that the nightlight actually SCARED him rather than making him feel more comfortable. I laid in his bed with him one night after his Occupational Therapist suggested I try to see things from his point of view. Do you have any idea how scary some of the shadows coming off of dressers, lamps, nightstands, etc. can be by the light of a nightlight?! Turned out they were sure scaring him.
We made those two modifications and they helped almost right away. FYI- they do make a specific type of lullaby music for kids with sensory issues, so eventually we tried to use that at night, but he still prefered the quiet.
The other thing we had to just suck up and get over was our perfect idea of HOW he had to go to sleep. Once we realized he just plain needed one of us laying with him until he fell asleep (which usually took no more than 1/2 hour, which was a lot better than fighting and stressing about it for up to 2 hours like we had been), bedtime became a snap. He'll be 4 in just a couple of weeks. We have our bedtime routine of jammies, books, and kisses. We lay down with him in his bed and he's asleep in less than 15 minutes. Is that wrong? I'm sure some 'professionals' would say so, but it's peaceful, stressless, and gives mom and dad no choice but to lay down and relax a few minutes every night. Something neither of us do by choice! Good luck!
ONE THING YOU CAN DO IS ALLOW HER TO FALL ASLEEP (WITHOUT YOU) IN YOUR BED, WHEN SHE IS DEEPLY ASLEEP, PICK HER UP AND TAKE HER TO HER OWN. BRIBERY AND REWARDS ALSO WORK. TOMORROW WE'LL GO TO THE PARK IF YOU BEHAVE TONIGHT, IF YOU CAN BE A BIG GIRL ALL WEEK I'LL GET THAT TOY YOU WANTED. LATER, YOU TELL HER SHE HAS BEEN DOING FINE, THERE IS NO REASON FOR HER TO THROW A FUSS OVER NOTHING AND BOTHER HER TRYING TO SLEEP BROTHER. NOW IF SHE DOES IT, I TELL MY DAUGHTER I WILL GIVE HER SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT. IT'S LATE, SHE HAS HAD WATER, PRAYERS, AND FUN, NOW ITS TIME TO SLEEP.
