Noise and Chaos Could Also Be Entitled "Holidays"

Yes, and I have to take small breaks. A walk alone. Hot bath. Up before others for some quiet time etc.

I find things to do. I move to another part of the house, take a shower, find a book to read, listen to music, make myself busy. I have also told the kids to go outside (like our mothers did to us) or we have a tradition of the men taking the kids to the park, which is win-win for everybody. The kids love their dads and uncles and the moms and wives get a break. My introverted BIL started that, I think to get out of the chaos in the kitchen. No one has a big house so we all have to deal with the noise. If YOU do not think it is too cold for YOUR kids, send 'em out. Maybe they'll enjoy a snowball fight and their cousins will beg to go out, too.

If the space can handle it & I'm socializing then I'm good for a while. If the space is too small for the number or exuberance level of the people or if I'm trying to accomplish something then my tolerance level is much lower. I have a bit of a split personality when it comes to being around others; I enjoy being with a group of people, having friends over, parties, etc...but I also desperately crave alone & quiet time.
Anyway, I'm a big fan of sending kids outside. Unless it's really too cold then they are fine with at least 15-20 minutes of running around like maniacs outside. We've also used garage space or a shed as a kid area for goofing off when the adults need quiet time.

So, in that situation, I just put on my best big girl attitude and go forward. This will be my Thanksgiving for several hours. I just have a couple glasses of wine, remember that it's great that all the kids can get together and see each other, and I keep in mind that it's for a short time. If I wanted my kid to go out, I'd just go out with him-- no matter what other parents are doing.

I'm a fairly introverted person who really doesn't like noise, however, I choose to be flexible, remember it's temporary and that our hosts (my aunt and uncle) are being incredibly gracious to open our house to all of us. They will have people who are being anti-social and complaining; my job is to be a gracious guest for the relatively short time I'm there. Worse case scenario-- "I love the fall weather-- I'm going to take a quick walk. Anyone want to come along?" and be back in a short while.

I think if the house was set up how you describe it might drive me crazy. That's one reason my husband and I refused to buy a home without a finished basement- it's a total life saver. The kids go down and shut the door - we don't hear much from them. We have an open concent floor plan as well and it works great for entertaining larger groups of people, so I personally love large groups for the holidays.

However, if it were as you described, I would probably need to talk myself into a lot of patience before going.

My kids are now 15 and 12 so I'm past the really loud years. So yes, when I'm in the environment you describe, it gets to be too much for me. Even at restaurants now I notice when the little kids are louder and it starts to get on my nerves. I don't have many friends with little kids so I don't have to experience this anymore. YAY! So if I were you, I would show up and then when it got to be too much, its time to go! Good luck.

My wife's parents do thanksgiving every year at there apartment in New York. It's crazy. It's like 60 people in a 2,000sqft apartment. I get really overwhelmed and often have to go outside because otherwise I might have a panic attack.

My wife's parents had 7 kids and they all have at least 2 kids, plus they invite family from over seas. Luckly most of them live in the city so everyone is only there all at once for really 5 or 6 hours and not all week end but it's still absolutely crazy.

Meh. I have 4 kids, so 10 kids at my house is a pretty typical Friday afternoon. When I'm working from home. I can tune it out, but I'm used to it. I am one of 5 kids and we routinely had 10+ kids in my house on any given day with friends coming over.

It drives my husband crazy though. He has one sibling and grew up in a relatively quiet house. If he comes home from work to 8 or 10 kids in the house, he goes straight into our room and tries to nap or just leaves and comes back later.

At a family gathering if there is no place to go that's out of the way, I think you just have to steel yourself and go in knowing that's how it's going to be. If the weather is nice, go for a walk when you need to. Invite others to come along and if they join you, great. Also, bring things for the kids to do outside. Even if the other kids don't go out, you can send your own out and that will reduce some of the noise a bit.

Yes.
Not long - a few hours tops.
Generally I don't have that many people over - I just don't enjoy it.

When our neighbors throw parties (one does Christmas, another does Halloween, etc), they have fire pits and hold as much of it outside as possible.
Everyone brings their own folding/camp chairs and a side dish or dessert.

Additional:
A whole weekend? At the in-laws?
I'd go stark raving insane.
I'd seriously think about getting a hotel room.
Stop in, do your usual thing, but when you've had enough, say "Good night! See you after breakfast!" and go unwind at the hotel.
In fact - it's SUCH a GOOD idea that maybe several others will want to do the same thing - and kids can tire themselves out at the hotel pool in between visiting in-laws.
Too many hamsters in close quarters will eat each other.
It works about the same way with relatives packed into one house at holiday time.

Is this your house? Take charge. If I am the host then the guests should do what I have planned for them. I would announce to the kids that it is time to go outside and play. If there is one parent who is not on board, then let that little snowflake stay in the house while the other kids play. Or offer snowflake a jacket. Do you have a rec room in the basement? Set up that area for the kids and let the adults visit on the main floor of the house.

ETA: Even on their turf you can lead by example. Stand up and announce "It's getting a little loud in here and the kids seem like they need to get some fresh air." Then instruct you own kids to get their jackets and head out to play. Maybe some others will follow suit and you will have started a new tradition. This is one of the many reasons I do not understand open concept homes!

oof. yes, my tolerance for other humans is very limited. even when it's the kids and their friends, all of whom i adore, i need to get away from it from time to time. and when it's big family holiday stuff (or shopping, gods give me strength) it's even worse.
can you escape to a bedroom to read for an hour? or are yours young enough to require your presence?
so......., yes, that would drive me crazy. i could put up with it for a few days if i had to, so long as i could get away for brief intervals- a walk, or some locked-in-the-bedroom time. if it were going to be, say, a week or two, i'd have to come up with some better coping techniques, i guess.
good luck, hon!
khairete
S.

Yes! And I have 3 kids of my own. Thanksgiving should be interesting. We are going to my husband niece's house. She is single and has two large dogs. She is having her parents, her aunt, my family of 5, plus our chocolate lab puppy, my parents, and we just found out another of my husband's sisters who has two young children. Luckily she has a full, finished basement where at least the kids can hang out and run around.

I try to tune some of it out. I've learned to do that with my own 3. I get very anxious when they're being wild and crazy. I don't do a lot of playdates for this very reason. We have a small house and nowhere for them to go, so I just avoid having kids over for the most part.

That would/does drive me nuts. My son has a 1/2 birthday party which is a pool party - the kids only have to come in to use the bathroom. We have a fall pumpkin carving party - also the kids are outside as much as possible (actually we are all outside if possible). Otherwise, I do not have large numbers of young children come to my house. When my son has a play date the kids are generally outdoors or in his room. Attending parties at bounce places and other loud kid venues was in fact torture when he was younger. Happily his parties are now generally drop off ones. The worst I have to deal with regularly now is one day a week of car pick up at his school. It is probably 30 adults each bringing along 1-3 younger (pre elementary school age) kids and conversing LOUDLY in the school entry way. And they all seem perfectly happy - completely don't get it.

I'd lose my mind too.

1. Yes, it drives me nuts. I usually bring my Kindle and go find the quietest place I can to read. Immerse myself in a good novel.

2. If our kids were being that noisy, I'd encourage them to quiet down or go outdoors. If all the children were being so noisy that an adult conversation could not happen, I would step into the fray and tell them they need to bring the volume down. If they want to holler and yell, they should go outside. Indoors is not the place for yelling.