NO Sleepadvice on Sleeping All Night

Does he sleep with a pacifier at night? If doesn't, give it to him. Or if you don't think it's safe, just try to calm him down before he goes to bed and when he wakes up.

I am not a fan of the cry it out method, but I do practice a controlled crying method. I dont know if it will help, but this is what I would try. When he wakes up crying let him cry for 5 minutes. Go in and soothe him and calm him down, tell him its time to sleep and then leave. If he then wants to cry some more let him cry for 10 minutes and then go in and calm him down and tell him he needs to go to sleep. Keep adding 5 minutes to the time until he goes to bed. Mine never make it to the 20 minute mark...they always give up. This way you do go in and comfort him, you do let him know you are there for him, but you will not tolerate the screaming.

Hi Careyln,

Your a single mom? The babies dad doesn't want you to let the baby cry? I'm not sure what the lay out is but you need sleep. My son is 7 months and I have let him cry. His cry isn't urgent but it can get there for a moment.... then he stops. So what ever you think is the right thing for you and if you let him cry please just know it's ok. If you work during the day or if you want to go for a walk or keep any social scene for you net work with other moms, YOU must sleep. If your baby calls for you, you get him each time, your going to be less to him in the long run. Sometimes I have just let my son cry..while he pulls himself up in the crib...other times the cry just sounded more alarming then others and he was teething or needed a diaper change. OR he just really could not do without me nursing him or holding him. Not to think I'm not consistant, just there is always an exception to the rule. It has worked for me.

I feel your pain! First off though, I have to say that I thought this was supposed to be a site where mothers can be given constructive advice/criticism, not be judged - and there are a couple I read in your responses that just don't sound comforting at all! My advice on that, ignore them! Now, as to the problem at hand - I also HATE the cry it out method and won't do it (causing great arguements with daddy, the reverse of you!). Every child is different and so is every family - figure out what's best for you and baby (I know your situation, so just ignore dad, Rene is a weenie anyhow and doesn't help nearly enough!). Some of the advice here is great - maybe try changing his schedule so he goes to bed an hour later and get him outside playing so he tires out more - hot food before bed might help, it works for me when I can't sleep. :) Are you sleeping in your room or in his? He probably just really needs you for whatever reason right now and it should pass eventually. BTW, I'll be at mom's tonight, if you're home, I can come over and we can talk more! xoxo

I hear you! My first, my son, didn't start sleeping through the night till he was almost 2 1/2 years old. It was difficult! I was pregnant and due with my daughter and was scared i would be up all night between the two of them. (my daughter slept through the night at 5 weeks and still does, she is not 13months) anyways, my son would wake up 2-3 times a night crying and crying. The only things that would calm him down was either a bottle of me laying with him till he went back to sleep. I tried the crying it out method, which was horrible and never...NEVER did work. I put myself and him through misery for 2 weeks for nothing. Eventually i just stepped back and looked at our situation... "this will NOT last forever!!" i had to tell myself. I now look back and actually "miss" those times where he "needed" me. I know he still does in other ways but even though i am glad i am getting my sleep now and that it was hard then, i am glad I...stuck it out and was there for my son when he needed me. You son too, will grow out of this stage. he is still a baby, he is young, he has his whole life ahead of him to sleep through the night, help him get to that point.
xo
A.

You say you are single but you talk about his father, or is that your father? You HAVE to get more than 3 hours sleep, or you are going to fall apart eventually. The only thing I can think of is crying it out - that worked wonders for us. Since he is older now, it will take a lot longer. You have to talk to "father" about this and let him know you can't live on 3 hours sleep. I really don't know what other method there is other than crying it out. So many people don't like the sounds of that method, but what else can you do? You really need your sleep.

I am a parent wimp - my kids are bigger then your and I still do not like to hear them cry (depending on the reason) And I never could survive the cry it out method, it just seems to hard on everyone involved to WANT someone and not get that person. Seems more sad then anything else, how do you feel if you were crying for someone and that person NEVER showed up? You would feel scared and alone!! So go be there for you son! I would try some things that did work at my house (also a single mom of three) I would NOT get in bed with the babies but I would go to them and rub thier backs a bit until they calmed down and would fall back to sleep, this way I could go get back into my bed and the little rest I was getting was good rest. My first two kids did not sleep all night until close to the age of 2 and the baby was sleeping thru the night early! The thing is that you want to teach your child how to go back to sleep on thier own, and how is scarying them by NOT going to them going to give them that security they need? Remeber that this too shall pass and one day you will miss it!! I know I do! With three kids it feels like there is not enough time for each of them and with work during the day there is not enough time!! So try looking at those night wakings as another way to bond with you son and let him know that no matter what Mommy will be there for him. Soon he will no longer want to cuddle and you will embarass him just by being his mom in front of all his friends. Child hood is short!! Enjoy each moment as slowly as you can.....God bless

Call Kathy Sinclair at http://www.babysleepsolutionsla.com/

Best money you will ever spend. When I was not getting any sleep I was missing out on life and my baby. I was not the person I wanted to be let alone a wife and mother. KAthy changed everything within a few nights for us and my son was 10 months at the time and waking every 2-3 hours thru the nite and up by 5-6am in the morning. I was drained.

Call her! You won't regret it!

R. K. ; )

what time do you put him to bed? sounds he needs alot more activity, get a trampoline :) excaust him every way you can and feed him a warm cereal before bed. have his dad be the one who comforts him, do not turn on bright lights or the TV... too interesting. get a hammock. rock him to sleep.

good luck, remember something always works, you have figured him out in the Past right ?

I still sleep with my Daughter... It's ok!

Go in his room for just a minute each time(just to check he is ok). It won't be worth it for him for you to come in for such a short time. Eventually, he will go to sleep sooner. Your going to have to let him cry. I did it. It's the worst thing in the world....but needs to be done. I was always thinking that my daughter will be mad at me. But, she was always happy to see me in the morning...no hard feelings!
What else are you going to do? You can't give in all the time. That's what is keeping him up.(and you!) Show him who's boss, at least when it comes to him sleeping. Don't give in and you will see that it will only be a few days of torture, and then you will shoot yourself for not doing it sooner...I know I did.
Good luck!

Talk to the father and explain your son NEEDS sleep for brain dev. so he needs to deal with the crying.

You said you could not deal with the cry it out method but then everyone suggested that you let him cry it out so I thought I'd offer you an alternative. I read The No Cry Sleep Solution and it has helped a lot. I'm not too concerned with my daughter sleeping through the night yet, she's still young, but the book worked magic for getting her to go to sleep on her own.
It's a little more work on your part and it takes a little longer but it's a gentle way to teach your child how to put himself to sleep and you don't have to deal with the crying. You can read reviews on Amazon. It has helped us so far.
I haven't slept through the night in 6 months and I just remind myself that my baby grows so fast. It won't always be this way.

Read "No Cry Sleep Solution" by Pantley

This is what I have done (I found a solution that meets everyone's needs).

1- I need to sleep
2 - young babies, toddlers and older kids need not to feel freaked out alone in their bedroom
3- DH can't sleep with kids in our bed

My 8 year old son was put in his own twin, own room at age 2.
My 4 year old daughter was put in her own twin mattress, on the floor next to her brother's bed at age 1.

With both, I stayed with them till they fell asleep. My son would wake up at 2am and I'd just stay there the whole night (I didn't want to be UP waiting for him to sleep.) I used to nurse both kids to sleep.

With my daughter (I weaned her at age 3) she usually wakes back up at 5 or 6am and I just go back to her room and we lie back to sleep (cuddle). No arguing, no fighting... I wanted both my children to know that if they needed cuddles or reassurance at night, they would get it.

I have a friend who did CIO and they had to drive her daughter in the car for naps (because lying down to cuddle just doesn't work for her). When her daughter - now 4 - is awake at say 4:30 in the morning, she is UP. Nothing can get her back to sleep.

The cuddling in bed will not last forever. Just roll with it.

I have nothing to add in addition to the other women's postings... except look out for "night terrors." This phase is developmental and starts at about this age. And the teething bouts too. Online there is lots of info about 'night terrors.'

He's only waking once a night, that' pretty good! I know but it is tiring....

All the best,
Susan

go for long walks in the evening and get him all tired out and then start reading stories at bedtime, he'll go to sleep. problem is, whomever is taking care of him while you are at work is probably letting him sleep all day

I think the cry method is definatley difficult. However I did it with my first child when she was seven months. It is hard to listen to but it doesn't last long. The first couple nights are the hardest and last like twenty or thirty minutes (for us anyway). And the time quickly decreases. I know it seems like an eternity but your son has to figure out that night time is for sleeping. With my daughter the crying lasted like a week. Short term trouble for a long term sleep. The older he gets the harder it is going to be to break the habit. I hope this helps.

I feel your pain. My son is 13 months old and wakes
up between 3 or 4, but will go down again with breast feeding
and coming into bed. I tried the crying out method and it did not work. People who are for CIO (including some of my friends) do not believe me--they think I did something wrong
or gave in. I assure you I did not-for two weeks. Finally,
I gave up more exhausted then before. It actually made things worse. The truth is, every child is different.
Different methods work for different people. My philosophy is that giving them a lot of love is not letting them take control over you. My son knows the word no. I don't let him
hit the dog or break the crystal. :-) But if wants a mommy snuggle at 4 am and drifts peacefully back to sleep--I am all for it. My sister went through this with 2 of her children
and by the time they were 18 months they slept through the night. They are now wonderfully intelligent and well behaved
at seven and ten. The five year old that she let CIO at 5 months--is now having horrible sleep problems. Go Figure.

Hi Carelyn, At 14 months they are old enough to understand about staying in bad, You are creating a bad habit by getting up with him, becasue now he knows you will get up so he continues to wake up, and until you break that cycle he won't sleep through the night, at 14 moths this does not fall under the letting him cry method, he's choosing to cry and disobey, and I don't blame your husbnad id he is having a had time with you getting up with him, you are allowing your son's crying at night to control your sleep and how much or lack there of you get. Kids are not supossed to have that kids of power or conyrol over their parents. Nip it in the bud now, before it gets worse, and it will get worse. J. L.