No Parents Allowed?

K.,

I was reading other responses and saw the name Dr Dvorak in VA. We have a Dr Dvorak here in Baltimore, but he is an old man (I wonder if he is related). Anyway, he and his partner Dr Clemens not only allow the parents into the room, but Dr Clemens had my husband hold my 3 y/o in his lap for her first dental appt. Laid her over both of them so he could see into her mouth, kept is short and sweet (not that much to see yet <g>) and gave us a little thing to floss with that she loves. She now thinks the dentist is neat.

Good luck. Not all keep the parent out or just strap them down.

I remember when my son was 6 and getting a crown on a tooth, that broke off the first day of kindergarten. The dentist wouldn't let me go back. My father, with a temper, showed up and charged back and made a royal scene when they refused to let me go back with him. We changed dentists.
Grandma N.

Was this at Kool Smiles? I took my daughter there once and was able to watch her through a viewing window. Another mom told me that she told the staff that they would not see her daughter if she couldn't go in the back with her and they let her go.
I have been back there once since, but I too think that we will be changing dentist.

that policy is absurd, especially if they have never been to a dentist they are going to be scared there are alot of tools in the dentist office.That is like telling you that you have to leave your child with a stranger who knows what could happen in that room without you.I am glad you found a dentist that will go along with your wishes. I did not like my daughters first dentist he told me that if I talked to her at the same time she would not listen to him, basically telling me to be quiet.needless to say we never went there again and he was supposed to be a very good pediatric dentist.I to have found a good dentist for my daughter if you do not feel comfortable with them neither will your child.

when i took my daughter, although younger, she sat on my lap! i think it's weird. i get it for some procedures. you don't go back with a surgeon for example but for a simple checkup?

Although I am a laywer, I am not aware of any laws regarding this policy. They are probably allowed to set whatever procedures they want and you are free to switch dentists. I'm glad to see that you did find another dentist for your family. I don't understand how a place stays in business with a crazy policy like that. We've always been able to stay with our son at our dentist's office.

I think parents should be allowed with their children in the dentist's office. However, I think that parents also should NOT share their own fears and dislike of the dentist with their children. Let the child show his own colors and develop his own comfort level with the dentist/doctor. It will encourage stronger provider/patient relationships if the parents interfere less with the actual medical procedures, and if the parent is just along to watch quietly from the sidelines and offer a smile that says "I'm proud of you."

I can see recommending that the child go alone because the children might do better, but forbiding the parent seems odd if it is based on anything other than perhaps the size of the room.

I would find another dentist.

My daughter has been going to my dentist (not a pediatric dentist) since she turned 3. I went in once with her - her first time, and during the following visits, I sat in the waiting room. I have no problem with that. I think it creates a bit of fear in the child when the parent is around, and it simply confuses matters b/c the child doesn't know who's "in charge." She does well, and I've heard nothing but good things once her examinations were over. I know that you found a new dentist; I hope s/he works for you. But keep in mind that you won't be able to be there for your children their entire lives. Gradually giving them some space from a young age on, helps them to become independent and responsible.

If the dentist you took them to was Kool Smiles...they don't let parents go back because they strap the kids to the chairs. I got this info from someone who interviewed to work there. I wouldn't take my dog to them!!!

My pediatric dentist definately allows us to go back with our kids, however they do have us sign a statement that we will leave if we are asked too. I think this is because some children act up only because their parents are there and some parents make a little fussyness into a big deal. However, at the same time, this dentist realizes that every child and family is different. If they ask you to step out for a few minutes, you are allowed to wait just out of sight and if your child doesn't calm quickly you can come back.

Otherwise, I would not leave a three year old alone, but I would feel comfortable with letting a six year old go alone under the following conditions.
1. The child was comfortable going alone.
2. I have talked to the dentist previously
and 3. Two adults would always be with my child and the room would have an open door.

HI K.!
You are not out of your mind, nor should you apologize for your wanting to be with your kids for thier dental appts. We go to Greenbrier Dental (DR Ethridge) and I have NEVER had an issue of waiting more than 1wk for an appt (even when I have referred my military friends or my in-laws when they moved down here--no one waited more than 1wk for their first appts or rescheduled appts either). The staff at Greenbrier Dental is wonderful!! What I have issues with (for the dental industry) is how they put kids in an open setting..with lots of seats. You know, 1 seat after another, in an open room so X is sitting next to you getting his/her teeth worked on or cleaned while you are doing the same. As a kid I only experienced that in CA. But as an adult with children I am finding that the open setting practice is the mainstream for all dentists (CA, NE, VA, NJ..etc,--we are military too).

With Greenbrier Dental, my eldest who is now 10 but was 8 a the time, was put in a room just like the adults for her first visit. After that she was taken to the general open room. I talked with the staff and they told me that if I would prefer her to be in a room (as the adults are treated) that it would be fine. I asked my daughter if she cared and she said no...apparently it is only my hang up. But with my 3yr I was told when setting the appointment he would be put in a room and I would be in the room unless I didn't want to be. HECK, I wanted to be there and I was THRILLED at his getting the room setting.

I tell you all this so that you know you can request your preferences and Greenbrier Dental is accomodating. Atleast they have been for me, my family & my friends.

Good luck! M. Bates

Wow, absolutely not! I'm pretty sure that's not legal, and I certainly wouldn't tolerate it!

Moms NEVER let them take your child "back" where you cannot see. My son was abused by a dentist. His teeth were pulled before novacain (SP?) and was attached to the chair by the tubes for the nitrous oxide. It was horrible for him and had I not questioned the bill and written to the State's Attorney's office I would have never known the dentist was under investigation for such horendous acts. The man did loose his license but I have never had a dentist decline my presence.

About me: SAHM mom of 5, 2 grown, still homeschoolong 3 in high school.

I am a military spouse too and I will not put up with that. I have a awesome dentist for my children and I have a 5 year old son and a 2 yr old daughter which has an appt. today. I am aloud to be with both of them. The Dr. I see is DR. Dvorak and she is awesome with children. She also takes the military ins. She is located in Woodbridge. Do not take except no when it comes to kids and DRS. You have all the right in the world to be in the room with your child.
Good Luck
S.

I let my daughter go back because i knew she could handle it but i was given the choice. If you don't think your children can handle it you should be given a choice.

I know a year or so ago, there was a big hoopla about a pediatric dentist in this area that had that kind of policy. There was a loooong discussion on our API listserve about it, because the policy was on the back of another sheet, and not "right out there" for the parents to see. It listed the steps they would go through if the child was uncooperative, from gently holding the child down to strapping them to the chair. And all the while you were in the waiting room, thinking all was going swimmingly. (I can see why people don't want to go to the dentist...) While I can understand that there are dental situations that require this kind of set-up (an emergency extraction, a bad filling), I couldn't get past the idea that they wanted parents to let their children walk through a doorway to a hall, and then another room with someone they didn't know, and hope that they all were decent people. I have a lot of trust in people for myself, but I'm a lot more cautious when it comes to my kids. I'm glad that you found someone you were more comfortable with. Our current dentist has let me go into the "cubbies" with our kids, but they are getting to the point that they are more comfortable, and any whining that happens is mostly a result of trying to test the limits, if you know what I mean. But we are always in reach, as the office is pretty open in it's floor plan.

yes me and my friends have have talked about this a few times. and you have no idea if they are fussing in the back or cared til afterwards. kool smiles is one of them. we go to schrumpf and herman on kempsvile dr and love them. i can see why they do it but i think it should be up to the parent if you ant to go back with them. the last thing you want to do is make a kid ot like the dentist.

what i really dont like is that they dont tell new customers their policy or have it noted i the waiting room on the wall or something. i'd be making them let me go back there sense i had to wait so long and had made the appointment without knowing. was it in the forms you signed when you joined there?

Just wanted to say I'm glad you were able to find a new dentist. I am TOTALLY the same way. I guess I'm overprotective but that's my right. On the innocent side, I want them to be able to tell me what's going on WHILE they are doing the cleaning/exam (dr exams too!) rather than get a summary at the end. And, on the scary side, not saying it WILL happen but come on, with all the stuff in the news? What if they are a molester? Can the 3 year old really tell you something inappropriate happened? Doesn't matter if an assistant is in there, it's THEIR employee, they could be in cahoots.

That's crazy that that is their "policy". It's not like surgery where sterilization and other issues need to be considered. I think some people enjoy abusing their "authority".

I'd also let this other office know that they DID lose your family as clients and that you'll be spreading the word to all of your friends with children.

Good luck!

I would have asked my child was if they wanted me to go back with them. If they said yes, and the office was adamnt (sorry for the spelling) that I wasn't allowed to go back, I would insist further or just walk out and find another place. Or, I would ask to sit right outside of her room so I could see her and she knew I was there. Now, a 3 year old, I would insist and just walk out if they didn't let me.

I just read...glad you found a different dentist. :-)

I've wondered this same thing. And I know it's because they have to hold the children down to complete their procedures. That's also the reason my 3 1/2 yo has never been to the dentist. I'm on the lookout for one that I can go back with, because I will not torture my children.

My initial reaction is that's effin ridiculous. Has anyone ever been told they couldn't accompany their child with a regular doctor's visit? Or getting shots? Sure, for an operation where things have to be sterile and there's no way you can watch your kids getting cut open. But I've never been told I couldn't go back with my girl. Erin is not a coward but she would freak if I couldn't go with her.

If parents stay calm and help calm the child I can't see why they would object. Go to a dentist that will allow you to be back there. They don't even give you a chance to see how it will go?

I can see why they would want to strap children down at times, children have less control when something hurts. But that should be up to the parent if they want to continue a treatment if their kid has to be strapped down.

Either way, the parent should be allowed to see what's going on. Glad you went with someone else. I would.

-S

When my children were little (my oldest is now 45 and youngest is 34), I was not allowed in with them either. They behaved much better knowing that I was not in the room with them. However, before the first visit, the dentist insisted that we come in for a "tour" to let the children see what would be happening. They were even allowed to pick out a prize from the treasure chest. My chldren never gave the dentist any problems at all. When I moved and changed dentists, I was allowed in the room with them and they acted like they had never seen a dentist in their lives!!! I couldn't believe the difference, but I then saw the reason for the rules of the original dentist.

Hi - not sure where you live, but Ashburn Children's dentistry is really great for kids - and they would never say you can't go back, I find that really strange.

My husband is a dentist and he encourages (yet does not demand) this as well. The main reason is that the dentist wants the child to focus on him/her and do what he/she says...open wider, turn this way, etc. When the child is alone with the dentist and his/her assistant the process usually is very smooth and efficient. Generally, when a parent joins then the child is focused on the parent and turns toward them, sit up, etc. He says the process rarely works. He says it not only takes twice or three times as long, but also becomes confusing for the child, especially when the parent and the dental staff are both talking during the child's examination. I hope this helps.

K.,

I'd find another dentist. My daughter is autistic and wouldn't able to handle that type of situation and she is 4 years old. The dentist I was going to while my husband was still on active duty was awesome, but he's back in Newport News. I don't know if it is legal or not, but if you don't feel comfortable with your kids going alone, then that is your preference as a parent and nobody can tell you any different. Good luck.

Don't know if its legal, but if that's their policy I would certianly change dentisits

it's perfectly legal and really not that uncommon. and you always have the option of not going to that dentist, and i'm happy you've found one more suited to your family needs.
more and more dentists are discovering that parents are adamant (as we should be) about accompanying our children on any kind of medical procedure and becoming more accomodating about it.
however, that doesn't mean that those who don't agree with us are breaking the law.
khairete
S.

I had a friend that had this same type of situation with a dentist and I will tell you the same thing I told her - there is no way I would let my little one go back with strangers. Helloo - what a way to foster a good attitude towards a dentist - scare the heck out of the child. The main thing should be that the child and parent is comfortable. I find this whole approach of not allowing the parent to go back with the child extremly disturbing - what if something happened - you would have no way of knowing the real deal because your little one is proably too little to really tell you. I would have walked right out and said thank you I will find another dentist. Remember doctors are like any other consumer driven provider where if one does not work for you there are many more to choose from.

I'd find another dentist.

As a mother, I understand parents concerns about this policy, but as a dentist, I do not allow parents into the room when treatment is being done. This is because children do better in terms of cooperating with instructions such as when to open and close, and get much less upset when they are alone. Many times, they don't even know that a dental visit is something to be upset about until they see mom or dad acting worried or hear them say something disturbing like hurt or shot. In addition, it is very important for the dentist to be in control of the situation at all times. Moms tend to talk to their kids or touch them, which often causes them to turn or move their head in the middle of an injection or when there is a handpiece (drill) running at high speed in contact with a very small baby tooth. This is dangerous. In my office, any kid who doesn't willingly open for treatment or cries is sent to the pedodontist anyway. We never hold them down. For the record, the pediatric dentist here doesn't allow parents in the back either. This policy is taught in dental schools in Texas as a safety matter. I don;t know about other states, but if it isn't, it should be. And if someone isn't comfortable with this, I would rather them go elsewhere. They can distract their child and cause an injury in someone else's office.

K., stop now while you are ahead!! When I was a child, this was the policy at my dentist's office in Germantown, MD. Let me just tell you first hand that I was abused/tortured/teased or whatever you want to call it there. My Mom was not allowed to go back with me at visits and when I had a cavity, he drilled without novocaine. I was held down in the chair by the nurse and sometimes even strapped down. Afterwards, he would threaten me not to tell my mother. Being so young, I was afraid of him and never told my Mom until I was 10. I would have severe panic attacks when it was time to go to the dentist, and they continued until finally I begged my Mom to take me to a new dentist. My new dentist (also in Germantown) was AWESOME!! His name is Dr. James Vette. I don't know if he is a pediatric dentist, but he is surely amazing. I'm not accusing those same horrors of the dentist that you went to, but I think that is SO weird that they won't let you come back. There are plenty of dentists out there that do not have that policy. I think you should go with another one that will make you and your little bugs feel more comfortable!Good Luck!

This sounds an awful lot like Kool Smiles. If that's where you went, DO NOT GO BACK!!! I took my 2 year old there for her very first dental visit, and needless to say, she (and I) were totally traumatized by the whole experience, plus they also billed my insurance for services that they told me did not provide to her.
Since then, I found a wonderful pediadontist, Dr Heath Allen, in Hampton that encourages the parents to be there through the whole thing, goes out of their way to make it as un-scary as possible, explains everything that they are going to do before hand (they even let her use the mirror and tooth polisher on her doll first so she could see that it was not scary) and does not push the child to do anything that they are not comfortable doing, unless it is absolutely necessary. Plus, she got a Dora toothbrush and toothpaste from the whole deal, so she was definately a happy camper! :) Just keep looking until you find someone that you really like-it will be totally worth it for you and your girls! Good luck!

I am not sure where you are located, but there is Ellis Dentistry in Hopewell at ###-###-####. They are awesome and are in network with United Concordia. It did not take them long at all.

Best part, they are really good with kids. They are careful not to scare the child. I took both my 3 year old and 18 month old with great results. My 3 year old sat and "assisted" the hygenist while my teeth were cleaned and loved it.

Good luck! I am not a fan of not going back with the kids. I have friends who go and they watch through a window. I guess it works for them, just not for me.

I know it sounds strange, but I worked for a dentist for a while and it is reasonable. Often parents are more anxious and worried about how their kids will react to the dentist than the kids are. The dentist I worked for allowed parents to sit just outside the room in the doorway where they could see, but not be seen by the child. Surprisingly the kids were more at ease when their parents weren't standing around, often worried. A lot of people have anxieties about dentists and the kids pick up on it. My dentist was ok with the parents being there, but if the kids were having a hard time, he often asked the parents to go back to the waiting room and the kids would calm down. I'm not sure what the legal side of it is, but there's the dental side.

That being said I have children of my own, and until they are school age I wouldn't want them to go in alone. Just for their own feeling of security.

That particular dentist probably finds that the kids do better without a parent around, perhaps he has a unique style that lends itself better to one on one.

I guess if my kid (especially the 3 yr old) didn't have any issue with it, and sat still and didn't cry, I'd be OK with it.

If you don't like the policy, you should choose another dentist. It is not a common thing to disallow parents, in fact ours has never had such a request.

The fact that you are their guardian, you should be allowed. Have you talked to the dentist about it? Sometimes office workers get into a policy-ridden mode and won't budge.