No More Naps?

Hey A.,
Ben stopped napping pretty early, too. I get exercise videos for kids and do them with him. Then every other day we take a bath together. That seems to work pretty well. I hope that helps. :)
blessings,
J.

Hi A.,

I recently took my 2 years old daughter in for her well-visit, and my doc advised me that the afternoon nap should continue until she's 4. She told me that if my daughter is not "sleeping" during this time each day, it is still a good idea for her to get a "rest" period where she can be alone, quiet in her room without too much stimulation. That being said, there are also schools of thought that believe the total hours of sleep are more important. At his age, he should be getting 12-14 total hours of sleep. If he is getting all of this at night, he may not be wanting his nap. That would be for you to judge. Some days my daughter just refuses to nap too - and I think that's typically because she slept so well the night before.

As for your exercise and shower dilemmas, my advice to you would be to shower in the morning. Get up a half an hour before he gets up and get your shower in so you're good for the day. You can also exercise in the evenings after he goes to bed. I have recently started doing this myself and, although at first I wasn't thrilled about the idea, it is working out very well. When I was working full-time, I never exercised until I got home from work anyway, so this isn't that far off. If you're really a morning person (I'm not!), try getting up an hour before he does - get your work out and shower in and you're done!
It's never fun to have to re-invent our schedules, but such is life as a mom! I used to work out and shower during my daughter's morning nap when she was young enough to be on a 2-nap schedule. Once she dropped that nap, it was time to figure it out all over again!
Hope this helps!

We moved my son to a big boy bed recently (he's 21 months.) In order to encourage quiet play on weekend mornings (usually he's up at 6:30...) we left his bookcase of books and added a few puzzles. We've always had a baby gate in the doorway -- I don't want him wandering the house in the middle of the night but do like the door open so I can hear if he wakes up.

Encouraging "quiet play" was for weekend mornings - not nap time. It's bitten us in the butt because now his room is a little too fun. So what we've done is just ignore him and let him play and we've found that he eventually tires and will climb back in bed for his nap. If his room is kid-friendly and harm-proof, do your excercise and take your shower while he's having quiet time/napping. He'll be fine. On those days where Alex would play a little longer than I liked, I would wake him at his normal nap time to make sure we kept to his schedule and would then put him to bed a little early since his nap was shorter for that day.

My daughter will be three this June. She has been taking naps on and off, usually 3 times a week. If she takes a nap she will go down later for bed. I prefer when she doesn't take a nap because that means she'll be in bed by 7-7:30PM. I worked out in my basement for 13 years and I have found the best way is to wake up before they wake up. Yes, I was waking up at 5:30AM. Or to enlist your husband's help. Does he come home really late or can you work some sort of plan with him? I also would exercise after putting them to bed. This however wasn't the best because many times I would use the excuse of being too tired. As for taking showers. I use that time for t.v. time. I have a t.v. in my room and a couch so I would set her up and then get into the shower. I would keep the door opened so she could come and say hi if she wanted then she'd go back to the t.v. Since January I have been going to a gym (a christmas present from the husband). It has a fabulous kids day care. I can leave them for two hours max. They have organized activities (no t.v.) and I don't have to make an appointment. It has been the best thing ever. I wish I would have done it from the beginning. If you find something you can afford and it has this type of kids facility I highly reccommend it. I was always against the gym when I first had kids because I thought it would be so much more convenient to do at home. I will tell you nothing compares to the gym I go to.

A., He probably DOES Need a nap. And, so do you~! If the change to the big boy bed has brought about leaving his bed to play, this is a power struggle you will have to win. Sorry, but you will probably have to be a mean old mom who makes sure he takes a nap in his bed every single day. This helps you keep your sanity, get time to yourself. ANd, at his age, he needs a nap. Don't let fear of holding him to the mark torture you. Naps worked before big boy bed, so they will work now. Maybe even changing his bedtime, uptime, you will help him stay in his bed because he will be more tired. I remember these days. If you catch him out of the bed, place him back in the bed. Make sure he knows that you are in charge and that when you say stay in the bed and lay down, you mean it. It's not about being mean, it's about making sure it isnt about what a two year old wants, it's about what he needs to grow and be at his best. I believe most all kids (and some adults) need daily naps in the afternoon, period. It makes mommies more happy and kids easier to learn and such. Good luck!

I also have a 2 and 1/2 year old who has moved to a big bed. Although she is taking naps--her wake up is not consistent and I was very worried about her getting out of her room and into something--she loves lotions and shampoos and can get them in her eyes. I put a doorknob cover on her side of her door--I still have the baby monitor so I can hear if she needs me or is trying to get out but don't have to worry that she will get out and get into something dangerous without me knowing. It doesn't bother her--if fact, I am not sure she even knows it is on the door.

By the way--I also have a four year old boy who stopped taking naps when he turned three and is now taking them again since he started pre-school.

I could never put my little girl in a schedule with nap time and she went out of crib when she was 14 months. I take her with me in the shower and we have a lot of fun. And I save time too, since I don't have to stay in the bathroom watching her playing for hours when I give her a bath. If she doesn't want to come into the water, very unusual, I just lock the bathroom door to make sure she can't go out and let her play with my lipsticks etc... safe stuff. Of course I moved everything dangerous from cabinets and keep them really high. As for exercising, we do it together, it's a lot of fun, as soon as I put music she starts dancing and jumping.

Try doing all the soothing things with him , reading hugs etc. then lay down on the floor by his bed and tell him it's time to go to sleep. If he tries to talk ,ignore him .Eventually he should fall asleep and you can sneak out and take your shower,etc.Remember to leave the door open a little so you don't wake him when you leave.

Hi A.,
My daughter stopped napping at 2 as well (I know, it really sucks). All kids are different & they don't fit into a neat little time table. I have a son who is almost 4 & he still naps for more than 2 hours a day (go figure). It sounds like your boy has just outgrown his nap like my daughter did. The good news is that the weather is starting to get nicer & he will begin to play outside & be more active. This may tire him out enough for him to start napping again. If not, don't force it on him, just make sure he's sleeping enough at night. If I were you I would join a gym that has free child care. Almost all of the gyms now offer it. Work out in the morning & shower at the gym. Then give him some quiet time when it usually is his nap time. If joining a gym is beyond your budget then get a jogging stroller & go running/walking with him outside. Then take your shower when he is having quiet time. If you're really freaked out by leaving him while you shower then bring him in the bathroom with you. He can either take a shower with you (family bath time), or play with some toys in there. I would not suggest working out in the evenings after he goes to bed because working out stimulates you & it will be harder for you to get to sleep at night. Another suggestion would be to have plays dates with some other moms who have the same problem as you. Revolve the play days so that you can take turns working out while the other watches the children. Hope this helps.

Do we have the same son?? =)

For the month just before we switched him to a toddler bed (this week), my son hasn't napped. I have tried EVERYTHING (joined a soccer program, took him for long walks - where HE walked, no stroller), to no avail. He'll fall asleep in the car after 3 or 4 pm, which means I know he's tired, but he just can't sleep.

I have gone against everything I used to say I believed in, and have instituted a quiet time that usually involves him laying on the couch watching a calm movie (winnie the pooh is a favorite). If he is zonked enough (AND my 8 month old is sleeping), I'll slip my shower in, and also that's when I start dinner or run up and down the stairs (we live in a condo building) to do some laundry. If not, I shower at night once they're in bed, which is NOT my first choice, but I also have a nursing baby and somehow the mornings never work out for me to shower in the small window between when dh showers and the baby wakes up.

I think you can still have a rule where he has to stay in bed for a time (half hour?) and read or just "rest". Even if you don't feel safe about showering, at least you can do your exercise or have a little down time.

I totally hear you on this problem!

T. M

As far as exercise... turn it into play time for your son. Let him exercise with you! He will think it's fun and play along. For shower time... really the only thing you can do is to take a bath or something and just take a bunch of his toys in the bathroom with you, sit him on the floor and let him play while you take your bath. If you don't have a bath... get a baby gate and close off his bedroom so he cannot get out or a place close to your bathroom... he will be fine as long as there is nothing he can hurt himself on.