Hi everyone. This is something of an embarassing question but I need help with it and you moms are very good at helping. Before I had my daughter, I had a high libido and then after I had her I started taking the depo shot for 2 years and then I decided that I would switch to the pill because the doctor said that it would give me a little more libido than the shot would. I have been on it since april and I havent had much of an increase. Are there any moms out there that have gone through this? Or do you know of anything that I can try to increase my libido without having to take any pills? Thanks in advance for all your help.
You're definitely not alone... the pill KILLS my libido. I've just explained to my husband that its not that I dont want to, it just never occurs to me on my own :) So now he's sure to remind me regularly to make sure that I dont forget about him... LOL.
Also, talk to your dr. Mine said that some pills are worse than others in this area. It didnt make any difference for me, but switching brands might work for you.
Its very common to have low libido as a mom, especially after contraception.
If you persist with the ob/gyn and have them do a bloodtest to measure your testosterone level, you'll probably find it is low (its what gives us our sex drive and all women have this hormone), and they usually have creams you apply vaginally (also helps with dryness) or a small pill you can take to help kick start your system back where it was. It takes a few weeks to feel the full effects.
If the ob/gyn says you are "normal", there are herbal treatments, (I take one myself) that act like testosterone in the body and it sure is nice to have a sex drive like I'm 20 years younger again!
Good luck!
I agree with Allison. Find a time during the day that you feel more inclined. Don't let anyone pressure you, including yourself. I also try to make some time for me and my husband, at least once a week, to reconnect. Spending quality time together is so important. Quiet time, no kids. I don't always get this time in during the week, but I try. Having kids takes alot out of women. Our whole lives change. It's a delicate balance, but with a little time and patience (on everyone's part) you can bounce back from this. I still deal with this, however, it isn't as bad as it was. I have learned how to relax more and go with the flow. I also have a wonderful man in my life that really tries to understand how I feel and gives me the space I need.
I have had this happen right after I had my kids. The doctor said that it was partially due to the pill and partially due to the fact that, believe it or not, your life is WAY different now and you are emotionally exhausted as well as physically exhausted at the end of the day because of being a new Mom. We had to start having our intimate encounters earlier in the day (during the little one's nap time) when I had more physical and emotional energy. It ended up getting better for me as my kids got older and more self-sufficient. I also found that my libido dropped due to the fact that my body didn't look the same after child-birth. I didn't feel as appealing as before I had my kids even though my husband said that I was just as appealing. I had to work through that one on my own. Good luck!
Hmm. Libido? What's that? Yeah, feelin' your pain here. My son just turned a year old almost two weeks ago, and I haven't had sex with my partner since BEFORE I gave birth. We don't really talk about it, but maybe we should. Have you talked to your husband about this issue? He may actually have some ideas of his own. For me personally, I'm so caught up in working full-time (I'm actually building a new career), taking care of the baby and the house and our financial responsibilities and feeding us and whatever else I have to do during the day that I rarely even think about sex until it's too late (literally, late at night when sleep is the primary goal). Oh, and did I mention that we co-sleep with my son? If you haven't done so already, I think the first step is talking to your partner to find out how much this is actually affecting him, and if it isn't, maybe you can give yourself a break and allow your body to work this out naturally. I think it's quite common for moms to not have a huge sex drive after giving birth and caring for someone 24/7/365.
I hope that you can find a simple solution to your problem, and also forgive yourself for being a different person after bringing life into the world.
I wish you the best of luck, and also, if you do find out anything, let me know.
Take care,
M.
Definitely a subject we can all relate to. My sex drive is very low and I'm not even on the pill! I used to be this energetic, adventurous, do-it-where-ever-we-can kinda gal and now I seem to make every excuse not to. I agree with everyone that as moms, our lives are busy and we tire easier but I also think that we say to ourselves, "I'm a mom now and moms don't do stuff like that". My husband is very patient but does get frustrated and tired of being a frequent friend of "Rosie and her 5 sisters" (if you get my drift) so the trick for me is to just go with the flow (or talk myself into saying yes) and once we get started, I remember why sex is so fun. Ask for a back massage, telling him to go lower and lower and eventually it'll lead to more...you'd be surprised how awesome it will be (I know from experience). Also, communication is key because it will give him an understanding of where you're coming from and sometimes open new ideas, etc.
