hi everyone. God this site has been a life saver!
anyways, i have a son who is 3 1/2. He'll be 4 in august. He has always been such a busy body. He's often been commented on how he is "all boy" as everyone puts it. However there is always this lingering worry in me about his attention span or lack therof. I know, i know he too little to be expecting much, but i'm not expecting much either. Just a little bit is all. for examaple, i signed him for for a sports sampler class at the ymca. it's only once a week for a 1/2 and there are kids in that class his exact age and some a little younger. Today was hockey day. As the teacher is showing them how to hold the stick the kids were mesmerized. all they wanted to do was hit that little tennis ball the way the teacher showed them and had a blast. there was no rules, just them running around. My son couldn't have paid less attention. He was waving the stick around (which could've hurt someone) got extremely frustrated when he didnt catch the ball faster than the other kid and had about 3 meltdowns in a 1/2 hour time span. the last 5 mintues he finally got the hang of it, but then the class was over. Or if we buy a age friendly game, he will NOT let us show him how it's played, so we stand back and let him have a try then he gets mad cuz he doens understand it then we try to step in and show him and that point he doesnt ever want to play that game ever again (candyland was one of those games) it just gets frustrating and i find myself never wanting to work with him on things because theirs no point and starting a war. then I get mad at myself for not working with him enough.
He seems to be this way when we try to teach him ANYTHING. we try to show him how to hold a crayon, he's staring off at the ceiling. we try to do his letters with him in a fun way, he could care less and we often find him looking in every direction except if i bribe him with a hershy kiss, then maybe he'll give it a shot. Dont get me wrong, we try all kinds of different ways of showing him things, in fun ways and it works sometimes. And some days are worse than others.
my question is does anyone have or had this same problem? and if so what helped? and also did this pose a problem when the child went to school. My son hates to be shown or taught anything that requires too much concentration and i worry that he'll be "that kid then never pays attention and is in his own world"
We have brought this to our pediatricians attention, but of course he's too young to realy say anything and we'll just have to wait until school. However she does understand our concern and seems to see what we are talking about.
i would call your local school district and have your son evaluated.
They have various free programs to help children..
One program is called early on.. it identifies children with potential problems and gets them help before they go to school- so they will not have problems.
I am not a fanatic about cutting things from the children's diets. I am also not big on labeling children. I had a hard time with labeling, so it took awhile for me to see that my child was ADD. We were so strict with him! He was very boy! That is what I thought, very stressful when your child can not interact like other children. But when I read your question, I thought of my niece. She was diagnosed pretty earlier by tests from competent doctors to be ADHD. She is very difficult, like your son is. Her mom was alway's frustrated! She was being medicated and she showed little improvement. Well a doctor at her church told her that sometimes food allergies are misdiagnosed as ADD/ADHD. She ran out of the basics one weekend and had to be creative with her meals. Her daughter acted different, and when she sat down to think about what was missing, she determined it to be wheat. She was formula fed and wheat is a thickening agent in formula. She showed little signs even as a baby. She has been wheat free and happy for a month. She can interact with others and is on no medicine. Her mom said the best part is that she has a club at school and has friends in it. She couldn't interact properly before then. I tell you this story because as mom's we know when things are just a little different. Don't let people blow you off. If you are concerned try different things or ask until you are satisfied with the answers. Good Luck, it could be a phase, maybe he will listen when someone else is teaching him.
Hi Nancy,
My son will be 5 in August. He is in a Taekwondo class. He does really well. It teaches him self control and disipline. There is another little boy in the class that has a really hard time focusing. The instructor for the class is great with kids. It's been about 4 months and there is a huge improvement with this little boy. He does great now. So contrary to one of the other mothers, I would keep him in the sports class or maybe try some other class. I think it is good for kids to have someone other than a parent teach things to them. Plus, I don't know about your son but my kids act much more behaved for other people then with me. I don't know if that makes sense or not but it does in my head. LOL! Good luck.
Chris
Nancy,
There have been clinical studies that show the link between dietary and environmental factors and ADD or ADHD. If you are interested I would be happy to forward more information to you.
L.
This sounds like my child. I will say(IMO), he is much too young for organized sports--I would wait a couple years. My son was just like this and when he first started school it was hard.
I know everyone wants to jump on the ADHD bandgwagon, and believe me enough people will--so please don't you begin. he needs you in his corner. I know my son had a hard time paying attention, because he does not like to sit still, but he is very bright and my husband and I both felt he would mature. This has been 6 years, and he has matured and is getting WONDERFUL grades, even though the teacher has to talk to him many times a week. I'm OK with this (he is not a bad kid) I think this is thier job and I have had many jobs that I have had to deal with worse things(Ha!).
Find some age appropriate interests of his and go from there. He will mature. So, just let him be and love him.
GL:)
Go with your gut. If you feel your little guy is really "different" (attention span wise) then others his age, then have him evaluated by a professional. They will NOT diagnose ADD/ADHD at such a young age, but you will have some idea if he LOOKS like he is showing characteristics. The treatment for it at this age is behavior modification and a professional can help you with this.
He may also have some food intolerances as another person suggested. Unless he has really bad stomach pains and/or diarrhea he doesn't have food ALLERGIES, but certain foods (especially dyes in foods) can cause a lack of attention. You should read "Why is my child hyperactive" by Dr Fiengold...available on Amazon.com. If you are local you can borrow my copy (Ypsilanti Township). You should also google:
"food colors hyperactivity" and be prepared to be amazed!
I HAVE been where you are right now, my son is almost 6 and DOES have ADHD but we don't medicate him, we eliminated a lot from his diet (red and yellow colors set him off!) and added omega 3,6,9 supplements and set clear limits for him, pick our battles, enrolled him in karate, and above all...realize that this is his personality and everyone is different. It has been a long 6 years, but once I found some support from others in the same boat and realized I wasn't crazy (for thinking he was different)everyone felt better :-)
Good luck and please feel free to contact me off list for some more advice or to borrow some books.
J.
