My son was fully potty trained, day and night, a year ago, at three years old. we moved and he started preschool and he regressed, both day and night. we got the daytime back under control rather quickly, but after a month or two, gave up on the night time - i figured that i would rather buy pullups than fight a losing battle. i decided that i wouldn't push it and would go by his cues, which i've always tried to do.
SO now, a year later, he has never once woken up dry. he is 4 now, and literally getting too big for his toddler bed. we are ready to switch him to a twin, but before that, i have been wanting to bring up the subject to possibly see if he would be night time trained before we switch him. i started talking to him about it the other day, and lo and behold, he states quite simply, "mom, i don't want to wear pullups tonight, i want to wear underwear to bed." so we had a lot of discussions about how if he needs to potty at night, he can get up and he has a little turtle that lights up, that he can take with him for a light, if he wakes up wet, he can come and get me, etc etc. the first night went great, he slept ALL night long, and woke up dry. i couldn't believe it! i was so excited, and so was he. well long story short, the next night, he woke up only when he peed the bed, twice. the next night, he wet the bed once, then slept dry till morning. the next night after that, two accidents again. needless to say, i am fairly certain he can physically do it. and i am confidant that he really is trying. i just don't get why it's not happening. especially when he went months, about a year ago, with no accidents. any suggestions? my husband suggested setting an alarm to get him up, and i know some people do this, but is it worth it, when you're basically admitting he can't do it, by doing that? i am a little frustrated, and don't know how to proceed. i have not made him feel bad about his accidents...i just feel like i am missing something, or doing something wrong. when everyone is on board, and i know that he can do it physically, why isn't he?? anyone have any suggestions? should i just resign myself to buying pullups once again?
well thanks ladies - sometimes the best thing about this site is to tell us what we already know but are having a hard time accepting :) it stinks and i am SO broke i hate the thought of buying pullups again, but i suppose i already knew the answer...he obviously isn't ready. i really wish i knew how he was dry for so long, a year ago...makes it a little harder to accept! but yes, i will probably end up putting him back in them. but thank you for putting my frustrations in check. yes, he is still so little...! thanks again!
Limit drinks before bedtime, none after about 7 p.m. or so. I used to take some of mine potty before I went to bed even if they were sleeping, they would get up and always go and then slept all night. Some are deeper sleepers and just don't want to wake to go and other issues could be involved too but you will have to keep on it and not give up.
You're missing something - he's not ready. I know it seems weird, but his body is not waking him up. This is not a "trainable" skill when he's asleep. It's a developmental thing, it has nothing to do with intelligence, maturity or will power. It's called nocturnal enuresis and some kids have it until college. Really. It's more common in boys but girls have it too. The one night he was dry, he probably didn't sleep well because he was so nervous about being dry. The alarm is pointless - he needs to sleep uninterrupted.
My son had it until around 11. For now, put him in night time diapers or "big boy night time pants" and stop letting him interrupt his sleep with midnight potty trips, alarms or waking up wet. If it continues past 5, consult your pediatrician or a pediatric urologist. There is a simple medication that will stop the problem - we did that. I don't love medications when there is another option, but there just isn't. Our son went off it at about age 9, but the problem returned, so he went back on until around 11.
Please explain to him that his body isn't ready. He's completely normal. He can't control it, period(even though he was dry at night for a time). Think of it like sleepwalking--he's asleep, he doesn't know what his body is doing, he can't control it, and he doesn't remember. Waking him up at various times in the night isn't the answer---that just messes with his sleep habits. Pad his bed, show him how to pull off the wet layer if he wakes up, and don't focus on it. Time is your friend.
Unlike daytime potty training, night dryness is not a behavioral issue, it is a physiological one. At some point the bladder matures to the point where a child will either hold the urine all night, or the body will wake the child up to go. Waking a child at night to "train" will not work, and will only make everyone tired, and pushing the issue when the bladder is not yet mature is only setting the kid up for heart break and disappointment. The average age that night dryness is achieved is between 2 and 5, with 6 or 7 not uncommon. Even if he was dry before, he is obviously not waking up now. If you want to go to a bigger bed just get a waterproof mattress cover. I would keep him in pull ups at night until he wakes up dry every night for at least a couple of weeks. With my boys I waited until they were dry a month. I know you said he did it before, but if he is not waking up than his body is just not ready.
Setting a timer with my son was a NIGHTMARE. He woke up cranky and confused and angry with me for waking him up. He would flat out refuse to go. It was not worth the fight and argument it turned into. We were not too concerned about night time training, I was just tired of the expense of pull ups. So we double sheeted his bed...placing the pad from his crib in between the layers. We also pulled out extra pjs and undies and left them out to grab easily. If my son had an accident, he changed while I stripped the bed. We didn't make a huge deal out of it at all, just changed as quickly as possible and tucked him back in, it didn't take very long...maybe two or three weeks for him to be nighttime trained. But again, I wasn't expecting him to train. We have several friends with kids older than 4 who are still not nighttime trained, each kid is different.
From what I've read, nightime is not under the same control as daytime and can take up until they're 5-6 years old or more to be completely nightime "trained". He's asleep, he can't "decide" to wake up. When we wake up to pee at night, it's our bodies doing it. Perhaps the stress from all the changes just threw him off. I'm doing the night time pullup thing myself - my little guy is almost 4 and I'd rather him be comfortable and me get some more sleep than obsess about it. At least it's only 1 per day (pull-up wise)! :)
i'm guessing you have tried this, but i'm actually going through nighttime potty training with my daughter who just turned 5. yeah, i know. like others have said, it isn't a trainable thing. they just have to be ready. but what does help us a little is limiting her drinking before bed, & making her go potty before she goes to bed. this works about i guess 60% of the time, & she does seem to be doing better since we started this. i have also read before (& i think i will actually start using this since she is doing better) is making a sticker chart. each night he is dry, put a sticker up, & after so many, reward him.
anyway, good luck to both of us!
Google potty alarms. My ped. recommended one for my son when he was 4 and it worked great!
The alarm snaps onto his underwear and there is a box(alarm) that snaps onto his shoulder, if it detects wetness the alarm goes off, it wakes the child and they stop peeing and then can get up and finish in the bathroom. My daughter just turned 4 and I am going to start using it with her soon.
