Nighttime Feeding - Forest Park,IL

No, I don't. I have fed all of my kids at night if they cried to be fed. I lived through it (so far:). This is such a short time....you need to do what feels right to YOU and remember that whatever you choose is temporary.

My pediatrician says no. He says to lessen the feeding (which is hard for me because I breastfeed) but not to completely take away his food. I feed my son about 4oz of baby cereal at 8 pm then give him a little bit of breast milk. I pump at 11 so in the beginning he was waking up at 12 to eat, but since there wasn't a lot for him to eat he started not waking up till 3am, I'm on that stage now, I feed him at 6am then I go to work, so my overall goal is to have him not wake up at all, but I just don't think it's right to let him sit there and scream. My daughter had a hard time sleeping through the night and once she was old enough to drink water I would give her a bottle of water when she woke up. It soothed her at the time and within a week she didn't wake up at night anymore

"I cave in b/c I just can't watch him cry for food." That has to be the saddest thing I've read. How is nourishing and nurturing your *infant* caving in!?!? You are providing him with a basic necessity that he is obviously telling you he needs. His little body is growing by leaps and bounds!

Ok, here's the thing-your son has a medical condition that prevents him from feeding like a "normal" infant and getting all his necessary nutrition in the daylight hours. Are you really comfortable with the idea of denying him nutrition because it doesn't fit into your schedule? You said yourself the days he is better with his reflux he sleeps, the days he loses nutrition via reflux (spitting up feeds) he wakes. Your son is very clearly telling you when he has needs and when he doesn't. You really need to follow his lead. He is not being a baby tyrant. He wants to eat and soothe the pain his empty tummy is giving him.

And 6 months is not a magic age for sleep. I taught my kids to sleep but never, ever ignored their needs at night. And they learned to sleep thru the night at different times but I followed their cues and their needs.

I don't know why parents choose to ignore what their infants are telling them under the guise that they will spoil them or ruin their sleep habits forever. We have parental instincts for a reason. You'll do well to listen to what your mommy gut is telling you.

If a child is hungry feed that child. That's my completely honest opinion. I personally hate the opinion of "training" your child in respect to something like this. At 6 months they really are too young to be doing something like claiming to be hungry when they really aren't just to "control" you.
If he's throwing up during the day that means he's not always getting enough to eat and therefore he is honestly hungry.
I fed my kids when they woke in the night if they were hungry. My oldests are 10 & 7 and ya know what..they sleep at night perfectly fine and have for a good long time now :)

I fed my daughter every night at about 1:00 a.m. and 5:00 a.m. until she was old enough to stop needing to wake up and eat at these times. This was at about 13 months old. I know I was lucky that she never, from her first day, woke up every two hours, and was more than glad to feed her when she was hungry, twice each night. Then down to once, then none.

Also, having reflux means that when your stomach is empty it HURTS. (I am dealing with acid reflux myself right now, and my doctor says eat or drink something, do not let it continue hurting as that makes the acid problem worse).

And you are not "caving in", you are feeding your hungry baby. Babies aren't "theoretical", they are small human beings who don't always follow our schedules. I did not let my baby cry.

After two kids, one a great sleeper, and one not, I honestly believe that most kids need night time feedings until around 9-12 months. They are just hungry, period. Yes, you can train them to not need to eat, but they need to eat. My great sleeper woke around 3:30-4 every morning until around 10 months, then he shifted to 5am, and then, around 12 months, he just stopped waking. 9-10 hours at 6 months is great!

If you know he is hungry, feed him. One waking at 6 months is NOTHING. He'll gradually out grow it.

Your son is crying to get he wants. He is hungry and he wants food. How else is he supposed to communicate that? If your son is hungry you need to feed him. Otherwise you are teaching him that when he is hungry and crying, no one cares or responds to him. That is not the same as teaching 'self soothing'. And since he is only eating 4 oz at a time it has already been 7-8 hours since a small feeding when he wakes up. When my son was that age, his last feeding was between 11 and 11:30 and he generally slept through until 6 or 7 am. And everyone thought that was great. That is not any different from your son except for the start point. And my son did not skimp on his food consumption. I would try moving your last feeding later.

Did you know that most pediatricians actually have very little nutrition education? Most of what they tell parents has more to do with their own personal beliefs then actual medical knowledge. Hard to believe I know but it's sadly true (same thing goes for infant sleep habits and training). You can normally tell if a pediatrician has bothered to keep up on new research by advice (and that's all it is!) they give parents when it comes to nutrition and sleep. Any pediatrician that give blanket statement like "they must sleep x hours at night by x age" isn't worth the money you are paying them. Every single child is different. They all have different personalities, different dietary and emotional needs. A 6 month old infant that is waking in the middle of the night hungry should not be left to cry. It's cruel and is teaching that poor baby nothing positive. Instead that baby is learning that mommy and daddy aren't going to be their when he is in pain unless it's convenient for them. All that baby knows it that he is in pain (he has no concept of time or of day or night) and the only people that can save him from that are his parents. Find a new pediatrician. One that will look at your child as an individual instead of a number. And keep following your mommy instincts cause you really do know your child best and you know that he needs that extra feeding.

If he's hungry, feed him. I still do the occasional middle of night feeds and DD is 10 months. Even if its for comfort, I let her nurse if she wants it. I wouldnt let a baby cry if you *know* hes hungry.

Per our Pediatrician:
for the 1st year of life, nursing/feeding on-demand is very important. Breastmilk/Formula is a baby's PRIMARY source of nutrition. It is a 'building block' period. AND during growth-spurts (which 6 months is), a baby will naturally need more intake, to keep pace, with their growing and development. Every 3 months, is a growth-spurt time in a baby.

All babies, have varying appetites each day. You cannot predict how much they need nor when. Feeding is a 24/7 day and night thing.
My kids as babies, had GINORMOUS appetites, and I nursed. Around the clock. They woke at night, at least every 3 hours or less. Normal.

ALSO a baby often has what is called "cluster feeding' which means they will go through periods of even needing to feed... every.single.hour.

It is a myth, that a baby this age does not have to be fed at night.

Your baby has reflux. So that itself wakes a baby. But still, they need intake.
I do not believe, in a young growing baby, that they can be trained not to feed, if they are hungry.

Then there are things like teething, which wakes them too. MANY things going on at the same time, for a baby, that wakes them. Even a parent snoring. It is not easy for them either.

Like I said, babies wake at night, It just is.
They are hungry or teething or just need comforting.
My kids as babies, woke too... and it is normal. And I nursed. So only I could do that.

I do not, agree with your Husband.

Your baby is very young. They need to feed, if they need to feed. On-demand. Feeding a baby by a "schedule" ... is very not good for them. Because, you cannot predict their appetite, needs, hunger, nor should they be kept from feeding, if going through a growth-spurt.
They need... the intake and sustenance.

Your baby, is normal... even with his reflux.

A baby is a baby... and this is normal.

Babies, this age... and older, do wake at night. It is normal.

The book "What To Expect The First Year' is good.

SHOW your Husband, all these responses.
You are the Mom.

all the best,
Susan

Sleeping through the night is considered 6 hours so depending what time he goes to bed he may in fact need that 3 am feed especially when it is not every night.

It is hard to say, I mean if he is really actually hungry, than I would feed him. But, your doctor and husband do have it right that a child that age should be able to go all night. My boys both went from 8 until 530 or 6 every night from 2 months on. I would not just let them cry though if they did wake. I would wait 5 minutes to be sure they would not go back to sleep on their own (which they did 98% of the time), and than if they did not I would comfort them without using food. If your child keeps crying for longer and longer times it is because so far what he was learned is that if he just keeps at it you will give in.

Hi Trisha, there is NO magic number (6 months, 6 weeks, 11 months) in which any given baby will sleep through the night. They are all different. They are ALL helpless infants who rely on YOU to sooth their every discomfort. Knowing you will ALWAYS be there for them will enable them to become independent self motivated induviduals.

Why we want to 'train' infants to behave like toddlers, toddlers to behave like kindergarteners, kindergarteners to behave like high schoolers, high schoolers to behave like adults I will NEVER know!

You 'cave' because you are a good mama and your mothering instincts are RIGHT ON.

You WILL sleep again. Infancy is heartbreakingly short, and lays the ground work for your child to feel like the person he loves the best has 'got his back' which will give him the confidence needed to go forth and prosper (sorry to sound so very righteous but I would like to strangle your pediatrician, you know they told my mother's generation not to even bother trying to nurse their babies cause formula would make them fatter and thereby more successful in growth too, but we know that's ridiculous now).

You keep following your gut, Mom, it's not CAVING when it's a SIX MONTH OLD BABY!

Enjoy him.

:)

I feed my 9 month DD twice a night... once around 1:00 am and once around 6:00. She probably doesn't necessarily NEED it, but the extra nutrition definitely doesn't hurt. I tried 'training' her not to wake up, but I always caved because WHAT IF she is genuinely hungry? She might be in a growth spurt, or maybe she's teething (my DD never 'fills up' when she's teething, so needs that extra bit at night) Plus, she has reflux so it helps her to have something in her stomach. I can get her back to sleep without feeding her, but then she will only sleep in 1/2-1 hr increments until she gets fed. And you know what? lately, she has been waking up later and later for that first feeding.. which naturally pushes that second one later. I figure it won't be too much longer before SHE drops one of the feedings, then eventually the other. I just feel better (personally) knowing that she isn't laying there hungry. (I don't even have anything against CIO... I think it can be a good thing to teach babies how to fall asleep on their own... BUT I don't think a babies hunger should be ignored.)

I think it's cruel to allow Ferberizing or CIO. Your infant is crying for a reason - hunger, wet, scared, lonely, confused, alone in the dark, etc... not to manipulate you.

Babies need a lot of nutrition, even if it's from formula. Tho formula is harder to breakdown and digest... you need MORE of it to get a similar amount of basic nutrition than you would from breastmilk - which is the opposite... you need more breastmilk of higher nutritional content because it's so much easier to digest.

If you feel horrible allowing your child to cry for comfort or food - follow your Mother's instinct.

If it's any help, my daughter's pediatrician told us she was "right where she should be" going 8-9 hours in the first stretch of sleep without waking or nursing. This at 6 months old. She typically wakes between 3:30-4:30am and I nurser her then. This is a dramatic improvement over the 4-5 wakings/night we were experiencing when she was getting her first two teeth, learning to crawl, etc.. We did absolutely NOTHING to change her nighttime sleep for the better. She did it on her own when she was ready. I'm under no illusion that things will stay this way. I EXPECT that my daughter will hit additional hurdles with regard to sleep. I EXPECT it and therefore it's easier to ACCEPT it.

Whatever your son is doing now is temporary. My advice is to continue to follow your instincts (they're right!). This too shall pass!

Good luck!

My son doesn't keep food down very well either we even went to a specialist at Children's in St. Louis (long drive). We learn so much from that appointment it was amazing. We learned that babies do not have reflux and that it is just because their little throats are so short. We were also told to not give as much breast milk/formula and to start giving him real food that was heavier. We now give our son a container of baby food with 2 tbsp of cereal (dry) and mix it together along with a 3-4 oz bottle. Since we have started this he is keeping his food down much better and is sleeping much better.

However, when he does continue to spit up during the day and right before bed I ALWAYS feed him in the middle of the night when he wakes up (actually my hubby does). We know he is hungry and he does sleep all night when he goes to bed full. I agree with you and wouldn't deny him the food. Your little one can not help that he can't keep the food down. Poor thing. I really feel your pain on this one. We too had a meeting of the minds before we agreed on what to do.

Not what most moms have said but this is how it went in my house....

At about 7 months with both my son and daughter we stopped feeding in the middle of the night. They were used to us responding to them when they cried, so although they didn't need to eat they were upset. It took 2 nights of crying (approximately 20 minutes a night) and from then on the slept through the night. I think if your son is really hungry, then feed him. It may also be that he thinks that is what he "needs" to fall asleep - even if that isn't true. Babies create habits and routines like we do, and a change in their routine is difficult.

I think your mom's instincts are the strongest, and you need to listen to them. You say that when he eats well in the day he doesn't wake up to eat at night, but if he eats badly he does wake up - it sounds like he definitely is hungry, it's not just a habit otherwise he'd do it every single night.

Although at 6 months I think he still would wake up hungry and it's ok to feed him. The book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, by Dr. Marc Weissbluth, says it's perfectly normal and appropriate to feed a baby 1-2 times a night until they are 9 months old. That is when I started 'training' my son, but was always very gentle about it and never just ignored him. Either myself or my husband would go into him, give him some water or cuddle him, just to know he wasn't being ignored. And he would sleep through very quickly. (Sometimes we hit bumps in the road for travel or colds, but we get back on track once the schedule is normal quite easily.)

You also say your baby has a serious reflux problem. In my opinion, and obviously I'm not a doctor, I say go to him and feed him if that's your instinct.

And doctors have been known to be wrong!

Good luck to you, and check out that book if you can. Show your husband the sleep cycle diagrams where the sleep expert/pediatrician says it's ok to still feed your baby at this age, AND he has a special issue with the reflux.

Follow your instincts and feed him. My four kids all slept through the night without a feeding at different ages - from one month old to over a year. Each baby is an individual. Don't beat yourself up and think that you are "caving." You are being a responsive parent and that is a great thing.

Tell you what, lock your husband and your pediatrician in a cage and don't feed them and see how loudly they scream for food. It drives me nuts when I read stuff like this. Every child is different. Feed the baby! He will eventually grow out of his need for food at night. There is no set pattern that fits EVERY CHILD out there. Some kids sleep through the night at 6 weeks. My pediatrician fed me the same line that at that age they should sleep through and not be hungry. I did not listen and I have happy kids that sleep well. Go with your gut.

Gotta add one more thing, my husband will still get up in the middle of the night and eat if he wakes up hungry or if he is up late he will eat before bed, he can't sleep if he doesn't have food in his tummy. The same applies to you kids.

lets be realistic here ....you are asking the question, why? because you KNOW that your pediatrician is giving you the wrong answer. sure it may work for some kids that way but seriously you know YOUR child! you need to do what is best for your child and for you and i think that you clearly know the correct answer here. no book or doctor or other parent can tell you how to raise your child the correct way

Well I think that the "cry it out" theory shouldn't be used here just because growth spurts are still a possibly. I would give more per feeding during the day that away you know that he is getting enough if he wants it. And yes he should be able to go through the night without a feeding. We never allowed any "wake time" during night time feedings. We changed the diaper if needed (very quickly) did the feeding, burped and then straight back to bed without any lights or talking. Both of my boys slept through the night by 6 weeks old, no kidding.
I would really suggest you feed him more per feeding during the day and then let him go without during the night.
Best Regards,
C.

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I'm sure I'm repeating what everyone has said, given the two answers I briefly skimmed over: feed him. He's still so little. Every kid is different and since he has reflux, it makes even more sense that he'd be up and hungry. Those schedules ("babies can sleep thru the night at 6 months") are just general benchmarks -- my friends and I have healthy babies all over the map on those supposed milestones. I know it's tough to still be getting up during the night, but this too shall pass. Follow your instincts -- your baby needs you and is hungry and by going to him, you're teaching him that his needs will be met which will make him more confident and secure. If later on it turns into a habit vs. a necessity (I'm guessing this is what your husband and MD are concerned with), you'll deal with it then. And it will be fine. In the meantime, by all means follow what you instinctively know and feed you sweet little baby! Best of luck to you.

I am a huge advocate of cry it out, but even I kept feeding my daughter at night until SHE was ready to stop, which in her case was around 10 months old. As long as baby goes back to sleep after feeding, it is ok to do it (i.e., he is not waking up to play at night). We did CIO to get her to go to bed and down for naps, which worked wonderfully. Especially given the fact that your son doesn't eat much in one sitting, he could be genuinely hungry. And even if it's just for comfort... so what? Everyone eventually learns on their own to sleep through the night - he won't go to college needing a bottle in the middle of the night.

Yes, your husband and doctor are correct that theorectically he should, but that isn't what all babies do! If your son is sleeping most nights from 8:30 unti 3 or 4am, I would say you are very lucky! My son never slept more than 4 hours without waking up to nurse or have a bottle until he was about 9 or 10 months! We tried everything, read all the books, knew that most babies do sleep for longer stretches but not him. He wasn't ready yet but once he was about 10 months it started getting better and at a year he slept the whole night 7:30 until 6:30. I think you are doing the right thing by still feeding him, he is hungry but slowly stretch for that goal of 6am. He will get there but he probably just isn't quite ready yet. Good luck!