Night Wakings in 6 Month Old - Which Strategy to Choose?

There is no right answer, just what's right for you and her. At this age, they shouldn't need to eat, but there could be a growth spurt. OR it's behavioral and she doesn't want to be alone. I am not a fan of leaving them - although it probably wouldn't hurt her and she may sleep through the night. With mine, I'd go in and not feed her and every 10-15 minutes lie her down rub her back or sing, then leave... she knew I was nearby but I didn't want to get in the habit of feeding her all the time. It's really trial and error and your comfort level... My sister would leave her child unless she was uncontrollably upset... and they are great sleepers now!

When babies wake at night it's because they need something. Please don't ignore her cries for fear of creating a bad habit. Do what your instinct tells you and comfort her, nurse her, whatever to soothe her back to sleep. I learned the hard way with my first child that the books just don't always have the answers. I tried everything with her including the "cry it out" method when she was about a year and all I ended up with is vomit to clean up in her crib because she was so upset and my husband and I were a nervous wreck. When I finally followed my heart and just took care of her, she developed great sleep habits on her own. No matter how many times she woke at night, I would comfort her and treat her as I would want to be treated if I had a problem. She now goes to bed very easily and sleeps 10-11 hours straight! You can not spoil a baby by meeting her/his needs. It only helps a baby to trust you and strengthen attachment. Eventually she will sleep through the night and you will too (unless of course you have more children--smile). Parenting is a 24/7 job, rarely convenient, but always worth it. R., Happily married midwife M. of 3.

I just went through this with my son (he is turning 8 months in a few days) but its been going on since he was 6 months old. He would go to bed around 7:00 and would sleep all the way until 4 AM and wake up and babble etc. He never got upset etc but just like you I thought well I will feed him, that will make his belly full and he'll fall back asleep faster. Well, come to find out he started expecting this and in all actuality he didn't need the feeding (mind you he is 22 lbs) and I was only a distraction. Long story short, Ive stopped going in there. Slowly over the last 2 weeks he is almost sleeping through until 6:30ish. He may wake once in early morning and babble but that wake time is getting shorter and shorter. Its taken a little while (not over night!) to see the change but I understand it can take at least 4 days and up to weeks or a month to see the change. My advice is to keep being consistent and slowly she'll get the idea that she needs to sleep. Focus on the long term. Good luck!

I agree with D M - do what feels right to you.

We kept our daughter in our bed for the first year of her life. Most people are probably cringing, but they didn't have cancer and chemo to deal with along with a newborn. So, it worked for us to deal with all the stress in our lives (beyond just normal day-to-day stresses). Today (at 26 months) she's a solid sleeper and seldom needs to come in bed with us. Her older brother (almost 4) is a horrible sleeper despite being in a crib at a much earlier age.

We all have different sleep tendancies, so I find it hard to believe each child can be trained the same way.
Find a way that works for you, and don't worry about what other people think. I personally won't do the Cry it Out method. Just doesn't seem right to me.

I understand your frustration and dilemma. I have 5.5-month-old twins, so we're up a lot at night. I'd been trying to change their sleeping patterns for two months and having no luck. In fact, it seemed to be getting worse. I finally got tired of fighting it and realized that my big boys (16.5 and 19 lbs) may not need to nurse for nourishment at night, but they do need reassurance that I'm nearby and available if they need me. For the past two weeks I've been reacting to their cries by picking them up and offering them the breast if they ask for it (they give my face open-mouth kisses when they want to nurse). Suddenly, naps and bedtime are so much less stressful. They're even waking up less frequently at night! We're down from 4-5 night wakings per baby to 3--which is a major improvement in my book.

I guess I just wanted to say that you're not alone, and to encourage you to consider why you feel your baby's sleep pattern is a problem. Does she show signs of needing more sleep? Are you overtired or angry at night? If your answer to these questions is no, then maybe you don't need to worry about this now. Personally, I had to get past the idea that night waking is a bad habit. It's the way babies are programmed. It's essential for their survival that they keep M. nearby. Also, I had to remember how short this time period is for them and me. As long as I'm not feeling overly tired during the day and getting sick, I don't mind getting up a few times at night to help my babies feel safe, secure and loved. They'll outgrow this eventually; we all do.

If your daughter is sleeping that much at night at 6 months, count your lucky stars. Babies generally won't sleep through the night until they're at least 2 years old. It's unnatural. Read The Baby Book by Dr. Sears, or at least check out what he says about it on his website: www.askdrsears.com. Until they're 2, babies are in different stages of teething, as well as physical and mental growth that changes their sleep patterns quite constantly. Your baby is communicating with you when they cry. They are trying to tell you that they need you. If you ignore that, the only thing that will happen is they will learn they cannot depend on you when they need you. Nursing her and helping her go back to sleep are the best things you can do for her. Another thing to keep in mind is that their sleep schedule will change constantly until they hit at least 2 (sometimes 3) due to all those changes, and then potty training. Trying to get them on a sleep schedule this young will only frustrate you and hurt your baby. They're not meant to sleep through the night. And weight has nothing to do with it! I would find a different pediatrician. I know an excellent Naturopathic Pediatrician if you're interested. But at the very least, check out Dr. Sears. I would say by nursing her when she wakes up and helping her go back to sleep IS focusing on the long term. It will get to a point when she will not really be nursing at night, and you will realize it's more habit than she really needs it. When that happens, you can start night-weaning and she will start sleeping longer at night (this only took about a week with my daughter when she was about 16 months, and because she was ready, there were very few tears). When things get frustrating, just remember that everything at this age is temporary. It will all change within 3 months. Hope that helps. Good luck!

Hi,

I am no expert, but I never let my baby cry at night. I always got up to nurse her myself and she was a happy healthy baby and a wonderful, calm little girl now. I don't recall her being 20lbs at 6 months old. I would have to look at her baby book, but she was born at 7.5lbs and was always right at her weight and above average on the chart for her height. If the Dr. thinks that she is over weight and thinks you are feeding her too much, are you giving her enough water throughout the day? Maybe she just needs a pacifier. I would suggest that. I didn't like the whole pacifier idea, so she sucked her thumb more...but a binky always helped. Try it and if it doesn't work, maybe just give her water when she cries in the middle of the night and rock her to sleep.

Hope this helps. Please keep us updated.

Jen

I agree, you may have to try a few things and see what works. I used to just let our daughter babble, she would get bored and go back to sleep..

If she started to cry.. Like a frustrated cry.. I would go into her room,. not turn on the lights, not speak to her not look at her face and change her diaper, lay her down with her fist in her mouth and pat her back for a little while,.. many times, she went right back to sleep..

I usually get mine up right before I go to bed and feed her then. I know she will wake up in the night anyway,and this way its on my schedule. Also, if you are not breastfeeding exclusively, give a formula bottle at bedtime, I did this also and it helped my daughter sleep a lot longer. (I still breastfed the rest of the day with no bottles) That bottle at bedtime was like a big turkey dinner, and then she would sleep all night, good luck

Read Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution. Your baby is getting a full night's sleep if she's getting over 5 hours. She's too little to go all night long as defined by us. I don't encourage night weaning until they are close to one year, and that's IF it seems really necessary and it's done gently. She is still so young and she needs you at night.

i would do some serious research before deciding about crying it out...the stress levels it produces in babies are pretty scary, and the body's natural opiates are released in response to all that stress, which is why babies finally quiet...not because they're "learning" how to be on their own.

it comes down to basic biology. In a hunter-gatherer society, babies would sleep with their M.. Being separated would be a big problem for a baby. We come from that model, 100,000 generations of our history. We have only 100 generations of being this industrialized society that separates babies and trains them. We fight basic biology when we try to force it. It might be something we think we need, but it is a lot of work, and it doesn't even make it easier on us--that's the crazy part.

So my advice is just let her lead you. if she's hungry, feed her. If she needs comfort, comfort her. If she wants to be close to you, hold her. All this control we try to exercise--what is it really teaching? That she doesn't have a voice, that when she tries to tell you her needs she doesn't get heard? I am a big proponent of sleeping with your baby, and I can tell you that after three kids, we have no sleep issues, no behavior issues, no problems--just three very confident, easy, pleasant kids. I'm not a hippy, I'm a well-off suburban M. who was lucky enough to have someone be frank with me early on. And it was easier getting them out of the bed when they were older.

If this isn't going to work for you, just be there for her when she needs you. But you'll get a lot more sleep if she's with you. Having a baby shouldn't be this hard. I would just let it be easy.

I hope you find what works for your family, and I wish you so much joy with your baby! Look at www.mothering.com if you want to learn more about natural choices. It's a life-changing, eye-opening, feels-right-to-your-core kind of experience to learn about this stuff. Good luck!

Ok, I have my FIRST baby at home right now, she just turned 5 months old on Saturday and has been sleeping through the night for almost 2 months now. I was worried at first, because she goes about 12 hours between the last bottle of the night and the first in the morning. She sometimes wakes up around 6 am, but TALKS herself back to sleep. If she cries I come and usually change her, tuck her back in and put her music on (always works).
My M. suggested a schedule for her and I resisted, but would never go back now. I kept a chart of her bottles/naps for a week or two, just to see what her natural pattern was. Now she has 4 bottles a day: 8am, 12pm, 4pm, 8pm. I was having trouble with naps, she sleeps too long and I don't sleep at all, so I let her sleep unless its time for a bottle. I also started keeping her awake later at night so that she will sleep through. Not forcing her, but playing and keeping her stimulated until 10:30/11pm, and I can put her down with music/paci in her crib, she puts herself down. Hope this was of some help! Good luck