Night Waking

We use a star chart for my daughter who is also 3 and did/ does the same things. It has helped tremendously. She gets stars for not yelling to us from her bed, for going to sleep in her bed on her own, etc. At the end of the week she gets rewarded if every night she earned her stars. We also set up consequences for things like waking up her brother, etc. Loss of dessert, no special outing... Good luck!

Hey T., I went through that same exact same thing w/ my L.o. she was 3 1/2 also, and would get up for anything and everything.
one night I was jut sooo tired and was just done w/ her waking me up to go potty when she didn't have to, or to come crawl in bed w/ me, and thrash everyhere... I Just got finished watching an episode of super nanny, LOL. I really do like her, and the couples osn had a similar prob. and he was 2. I figured If it could work for him I could try it.. That night about 3 hours before bed, I cut off all her drinks, snacks, ect... made sure she went potty right before she went to bed, and explain how If she needed to go potty in the night, there was a potty chair right by her bed, (just in case) and to go potty on it if she had to go, and to not wake me up because shes a big girl and can do it by herslef. But if she didnt have to go potty, she needed to stay in bed and sleep, and not to get up and crawl in bed w/ me, but even if she does she hjhas to come right back in her room and sleep in her own bed cuz shes a big girl and cannot sleep w/ mommy at night any more. The same goes for anything else, and If she does get out of bed except to go potty, then go right back into bed, she will have to go right back into bed. Then when she got up that night, she came in, and asked to go potty. I Told her she ws a big girl, If she needed to, there was a little potty in her her room, and that I'm not going to help her so go potty byherslef like a biggirl, then go back to bed. She decided to scream and cry at that, then try to get back in bed w/ us. I said no maddy, remember what I said b4 we went to bed? If you get up, that u were going to go right back in bed, and u couldnt sleep w/ me at night time. Then grabed her hand and said come on lets go back to bed. She then threw herslef down, and started crying again. I picked her up, didnt look or talk at her and put her in bed, and coverd her p, and left. 10 min. later she came back, I grabed her hand, didnt look at her or talk to her again, then led her back to bed. I did this like 5 times a night for 2 weeks, then she finally stopped. It did dut down to like 2c after 3 days, then once a night after 7 days. I worked wonders for me.

My favorite book on this subject is short, sweet and too the point. It is called "Sleeping Through the Nihgt" by Jodi A. Mindell. I don't know if your little one is already sleeping throught hte night but if not, this book is a fabulous resource. I also have the "Healthy Sleep Habits" book. It was helpful but I really, really loved this one. Both my munchkins (and quite a few of my friends' kids) have awesome sleep habits because of this book! Good luck. I know night-waking is tiring for everyone involved.

Hi T.,
I HIGHLY recommend the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth on sleep training/problems. He is an amazing pediatrician who specializes in sleep. One of the most important things is to make sure your son has an early bedtime, between 6-7pm so he is well rested. The difference in behavior is unbelievable! A friend of mine was having problems with her 3 yr old son's behavior until I suggested an earlier bedtime. It has been ONE week and she is amazed by the change. When your son gets out of bed, SILENTLY return him to bed without making eye contact. You may have to do this many times, but within a few days he will stop, as long as he is going to bed at an early bedtime. You can also try talking to him about it before bed, letting him know that he needs to stay in his bed at night. Email me if you have questions about Dr. Weissbluth's methods.
L.

Some moms may completely frown on this but it worked for me. You know those child proof door caps you can put on the knobs. Put one on the inside of his door, if he knows how to pop it off, tape it together. My mom actually switched the doorknob around so the lock was on the outside. It keeps them in and forces them to stay in. My almost three year old did the same thing to me and this has worked. There was one night that I actually heard her get up, she tried to open the door, couldn't and then returned to bed. There may be some crying nights, but they'll learn they can't get out of bed. However, if your son has to get up at night to go to the bathroom, this probably wouldn't work. My girl is still in pull-ups for night time. Good luck, I can relate, it's very frustrating.

T.,
My oldest will be 4 in May and he does the same thing, in fact it sounds just him, stubborn kid and all. A couple of weeks ago though, he started to get up and complain of leg cramps, so I have linked his getting up to growing. Just my own opinion, but he goes through stages of this getting up and down. Another thing you might ask him is if he see's movies while he is sleeping(dreams). Does he watch tv right before bed? That could be another reason. Hope this helps.

It sounds like you're talking about my son. He's now 5 years old but he's been in a big boy bed since he was 2 (he never liked the crib). He was a constant night waker (still sometimes does it). What helped me a lot was a sleep chart. If he slept in his bed for so many days in a row, he would get a prize. The prize was not always something that we needed to spend money on. We would reward him by allowing a "family time sleep over" on a weekend evening (i.e. set up an air mattress in our living room and all sleep together), or a special project, etc. This seemed to work. Now he's a big boy and doesn't need the chart. We just assure him that if he sleeps in his bed like a big boy, we will always have something special to do.
I also found that a routine helps. Here's our routine: Say goodnight (whether I put him to bed or daddy puts him to bed, he says goodnight to the other parent and to his little sister); brush teeth; go potty; read a book; kiss goodnight!
It may take some time, but i think it might help.
GOOD LUCK!

hi! i just wanted to say that he is old enough to not need a nap during the day, and may sleep better at night if you eliminate any daytime naps.
good luck!

sometimes my boy gets up and sleep walks. usually he doesn't repond when I speak to him. But almost always he wakes because he needs to go potty. You could try to cut off drinks after 6pm and wake him to go potty right before you go to bed.

Hi T.,

My son does the same thing. He is 4 1/2 and has been doing it since he was 3 and we brought home his little sister from the hospital. We tried sticker charts and we tried candy bribes in the morning if he stayed in bed all night. But both of those only worked for a few days and then the novelty wore off. Finally a few months ago i was so crabby from lack of sleep that my husband had the bright idea to put the baby gate in front of our bedroom door. That way our son could still wake and walk out of his room if he wanted especially to go to the bathroom. But he could not come in and wake me up. Now the first week of this we had some crying at the gate in the middle of the night because he couldn't come in, but after the first week we could just tell him to go back to bed without having to take him ourselves. Now we don't even wake up at night to his night wakings. I don't know for sure if he is still getting up at night because he doesn't wake us up if the gate is on the door. But there have been a few nights when we have forgotten to put the gate on the door and he has come in to wake me up for water or to snuggle we us. That first week when he was crying a lot about the gate I told him that mommy needed her sleep so I wouldn't be cranky in the morning and that until he could sleep in his bed all night without waking up mommy the gate would stay on the door. I think he noticed a difference in my mood in the mornings because that is when he would stop coming to the gate altogether. I don't know if it will work for you, but it might be worth a try.

From birth, my son has slept in his own room. When my son turned 4, he and I went to visit my parents. He slept with me for 2 weeks. When we returned home, he started waking up constantly and coming to our room. I thought the disruption to his routine caused his behavior. My husband and I (and our son) were exhausted. What we realized a few weeks later was we caused the problem by installing a totally different night light in his room when his old one burned out...several times a minute the night light would turn off and turn on with a different color...which it was designed to do. It scared him because it would cause shadows to appear and disappear. It took a few weeks for my son to explain why he was coming to our room so much. Once we fixed his original night light, he slept through the night again. Something simple caused havoc in our home!!

Have you changed something simple in your son's routine or environment? I understand how exhausted you all must be. I hope you can figure this out soon!

If your like me, a softy, it can be hard to send a frightened child back to bed. When my kids were frightened, rather than letting them crawl into bed with us, I let them make a bed on the floor in our room. They could bring a pillow and blanket and sleep on the rug in our room. It was not as comfortable as their own bed but they were reassured and not alone. They only did this if they really needed the comfort and I felt better about not sending them away.

He may be scared and doesn't want to admit it. I found out when my daughter grew up that she had many fears I had not been aware of, but she didn't want to admit to her fear as a child. My first son did what your son is doing, but he wanted to get in bed with us. I don't recomend that, and I don't really have a good solution. I stayed with my son and sang to him, but that didn't teach him to comfort himself.