Night Time Problems

I find it so odd that people put their kids to bed so early. Until it was mentioned on mamapedia I had never heard of anyone putting their kids to bed before 8:30 or 9pm. My friends routinely do 9 or even 10 for kids just starting school.

If you were my friend and we were sitting side by side visiting I would tell you that he is old enough to be up until at least 8 or 8:30 pm. That he is going to be starting school in a year and you will most likely find that the other kids his age don't go to bed until the later time. He does not need to go to bed that early.

When do you spend time as a family? What does he get to do after dinner?

If you have to be up and at work by 7am I can see why you'd enjoy him being up as early as he wakes up. That's way too early for me. I'd rather have some time in the morning before the kids wake up to get my day organized. That's just me.

I think he is telling you in every way he can that a 7pm bedtime is just way too early for him and that he needs to go to bed later.

How much physical activity Is he getting during the day?
Children this age need a lot of really active play during the day. This means, running jumping, yelling, climbing peddling...really in day care they are outside at least 1 hr in the morning, but more like an hour and a half. Again in the afternoon.

Your son has so much energy you would be amazed at how he could stay outside all day if he had friends and enough outdoor equipment.

Get on to his really active play, concentrate this week and see if it helps. everyday, outside for an hour or hour and a half in the morning and again the afternoon.

The nightmares are normal. Very intelligent children tend to have very vivid dreams. They are very detailed and very realistic.

Do you all know about dream coins? To me and you they look like quarters, but when placed under his pillow they become a powerful talisman that will keep the bad dreams away. Tell him about them and give him 1 or 2 to try.

My mom also taught me that when you have a bad dream, if you will turn to your other side, the bad dream will not come back. Tell your son, to try it. He will be amazed.

He really is growing out of "nap time" he should try "quiet time"
. The way this works is he can either stay in his bed or make a palate on the floor. As long as he is quiet and stays in his bed or on the palette, he does not have to take a nap.

I suggest you make the room as quiet as possible, as dark and cool as possible. Play quiet music or a sound machine. If he has played for that hour and a half, had a nice hearty lunch and wiped down with a warm wash cloth on his face hands and feet, he will probably drift off.

Wake him quietly after an hour and a half, it may take him a few minutes to wake up, let him watch a video, then snack and another hour and a half or 2 hours of play outside.. Maybe go swimming.

After a quiet dinner, keep things calm, bathe him, place him in bed, read a few stories quietly, do not engage him in the story, ..maybe rub his back as you read.. He will conk out.

Hope this helps.

I find that if you engage children in bedtime activities like bath.brushing teeth and preparing for the next day like getting clothes ready. They seem to want to go to bed. As for bad dreams I tell them to make up a cartoon in their head to think about as thay go to sleep.Also keep them busy all afternoon naps are only for you a break if you will. Keep them up and don't send them to bed before 8 pm. you will see they will sleep later.

Maybe my kids just don't sleep that much, but my 13 month old goes to bed between 8 -8:30pm and wakes up at 6:30am. She takes a 2hr nap during the day. My 3 yr old may or may not nap for an hour or 1.5 hrs. She goes to bed sometime between 8:30 and 10pm (she's in her room at 8:30 though) and wakes up between 6:30 - 7am.

Try pushing back his bedtime to 8pm. Make sure he's getting plenty of physical activity during the day, and see how he does with his naps WITHOUT you laying by him. Make it "quiet time" where he can sleep if he chooses to or just play quietly in his bed.

I went through similar problems with my twin boys last year when they were 5 1/2. We made them some Native American "dream catchers" from a kit we bought at a local craft store. We hung them above their beds and explained how they would trap the bad dreams. We also promised if they got scared during the night one of us would come lay down with them. Before bed we tried to focus on positive, happy things and read funny bedtime stories. They each picked out a stuffed animal to sleep with that would help keep away any nightmares the dream catchers missed. I think it really only took a few weeks for the nightmares to subside. Unfortunately, your son is at the age where his mind is becoming more active and imaginative, which often time leads to nightmares. My pediatrician told me that nightmares sometimes occur during times when your child is experiencing a developmental milestone.

Now we just have problems getting them to sleep because they are staying up talking, reading or writing in a notebook! Since their sleep schedule was off from summer, our pediatrician suggested melatonin. I have been giving them 1mg about an hour before bedtime and then they're out like a light!

Sounds like you or he need a few nights at grandmas. Seriously, if you remove yourself from the picture, he will have to manage without you, meanwhile you get some sleep and a respite from the sleep deprived daytime rudeness. If you remove him to grandmas where there are different rules and different activities, again, his sleep might be improved, meanwhile you get some sleep and a respite from the sleep deprived daytime rudenes.

The Ferber book would have you putting him to bed a bit after the time he actually goes to sleep, and waking him at his usual hour and allowing only short naps should he choose to take them. After a few nights of successful sleep at 10:30pm, you can start ratcheting his bedtime back to a more "reasonable hour" 10, then 9:30, then 9, then 8:30, then 8.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

For me what sometimes work is calling with my son Archangel Michael, we say something like this: Archangel Michael thank you for taking care of me, protect me and guide me thru the night, Archangel Michael thank you for helping me go to sleep, Archangel Michael thank you for giving me beautiful dreams. Thank you,thank you, thank you. I took some time one night before bed time and talked to my son about Angels and how they are always around to help us and protect us, that they are beautiful and they love us very much and that specially Archangel Michael is a protector and that he can always call on him when he feels afraid.

I do not know if this could go aginst your believes, for me is natural I love Angels and has been a good help when my kids are afraid, maybe is just focusing on something loving and positive just before bed. My son now 6 calls on Michael by himself and feels sure that he is taking care of him ;)

Good luck, sleep time can be frustrating!

what does he watch on TV? I just heard the findings on KSBJ (the local Christian music station) that children who watch violent tv shows have WAY more nightmares than those that watch Seaseme street, barney, etc. Also have more problems just GOING to sleep!!! It was just on this past week. Since I don't have little ones anymore, I really wasn't paying that much attention.....sorry.....

My son decided he was scared of the dark, so I showed him the stuffed animal I had growing up and told him how I always felt like she kept me safe. He sleeps with a stuffed animal when he gets scared, and it helps him. Maybe you could try that.

Also, I've found that if my kids wake up for some reason during the night that they sometimes keep waking up at that exact same time out of habit. For example, my daughter woke up every night while we were on vacation and continued to do so when we got back. One night I didn't go help her, and she eventually went back to sleep and stopped doing it. So maybe he's waking up out of habit.

I hope you figure out something that works!