My dd will be 4 next month. She has been potty trained during the day for a couple years now, but only recently has been staying dry at night. During the day, she uses the bathroom 100% independently, and only needs my help if she has an especially messy poo. (Lol.)
Most nights, she wakes up between 1-3am needing to use the bathroom. I always have to get up and take her... But I feel like it is something she could do on her own... If I get a nightlight for the hallway, and put a light of some sort low enough that she can turn it on without using a stool. (I've seen battery operated stick-on lamps that would be perfect.) My husband doesn't like the idea of her being up and about on her own at night and thinks we should continue the way we have been until she doesn't wake up at night. (Easy for him to say, as he works nights, and isn't home to take her himself. Lol.) he isn't super adamant about it though, so if I push it he will likely agree to at least try it out for a while.
So, out of curiosity, how do you mommas handle this situation?
Eta. The reason my husband is leery is because he has heard stories of his escapades as a child... He was one of those adventurous kids who, unsupervised, would get into all sorts of trouble. His mom told me about a time she got up one morning to find him asleep in the clothes dryer. I think he is worried that she will take after him there. Lol.
My kids didn't get up very often at night at that age, but when they did, they went on their own.
A good nightlight is all she needs :-)
For our daughter, we just gave her permission.
It had not occurred to her she was allowed to get up on her own at night and walk out of the room. She had been taught to stay in her room until we came in to get her.
Imagine her surprise!
If you are sure she is able to go on her own at night, without you being aware, you can tell her and give her permission.
I know some parents were not comfortable having their young children up and walking around the house, without them being aware,. Our neighbors were worried about what their oldest would get into.. she was . Um .. adventurous and fearless.
Not sure what your husband thinks is going to happen to her in the middle of the night, because most likely she'd get up, pee, go back to sleep.
She might not stop waking in the middle of the night ... ever. Some people just wake in the middle of the night. They just do.
If she can take care of business on her own, let it. It really is part of being a big girl.
My kids always got up on their own. They make this really tiny lights that can plug into the bathroom outlet or in our case the hall. They were bright enough that you could find your way but low enough that they didn't wake you up. The bathroom itself has a GFI that has a light to show it is operating, believe it or not, that is enough light.
Can you tell it was a big deal to me to not fully wake up my kids?
My kids went to the washroom at night on their own starting at three. They had a night light in their room and in the hall and a small step to reach the bathroom light and sink. I don't think they got up to pee a lot at night, but when they did they didn't have any trouble doing so on their own. We don't have a really huge house, so we can generally hear if anything is going on that shouldn't be, and when they woke up at night they just wanted to pee and go back to sleep.
ETA: I'm sorry Jessica, but very few kids I know need assistance in the bathroom until they are seven years old. Mine only needed assistance with bum wiping until they were five, and they never woke up to have a bowel movement in the middle of the night. I work with pre-school and elementary children and all of the children are expected to be independent in the washroom. So it may be YOUR Gods honest truth, but not mine.
If she is not afraid to get up on her own then let her go by herself. My kids all went on their own at that age. You could introduce it as big girl stuff.
My kids went to the bathroom by themselves if they went at night at all. Leave the bathroom light on, and if you have a staircase, I'd baby gate it to be sure she doesn't fall or go downstairs.
We started letting our son go by himself before his 4th bday. I was done getting up every night.
Your daughter is more than old enough.
The less human interaction she has at night, the better. If she's capable, let her go at night. There is no reason for your sleep to be interrupted every single night for something she can do alone. If she's roaming around, that's another problem, but discipline can handle that. If there's an area she shouldn't be in (by day or by night), put a lock on the door - such as the laundry room.
You're right - it's always easier for the parent who isn't there to just say you should be up all the time!
You'll be getting up plenty often when she has a nightmare or the belly flu - no need to be up when she just has to pee. Let her take care of it in a quiet house. Put up sufficient night lights, put the step stool in front of the sink so she can wash her hands, and put a hand towel right next to the sink so she doesn't have to think all that much.
You do know most kids do NOT wake up during the night to go to the bathroom right? They go to sleep, stay asleep all night, then wake up in the morning and their kidneys signal their body they're awake and the bladder fills with the first urine of the day.
Kids are supposed to sleep all night. If she's waking up to go pee I'd think something was wrong.
I think she's fine by herself.
But I babygate the steps because I don't want anyone falling down them when walking half asleep.
If she's not scared or something...why not ask her if she's comfortable going alone.
Make sure she understands it's pee, then back to bed.
You could have her tell you, then go herself the first few times.
My son is 11, but he's always been an "out til morning" kind of sleeper.
She's ONLY four years old and she really does need your help. She may be toilet trained in most ways but children aren't really 100% done and in control until about 7 years old. That's the honest to God truth. You may feel that she "should" be able to do this 100% on her own at all times including when you prefer to sleep all the way through the night, but she's asking for help because she needs it. The alternative is crusty butt.
All of my daughters and all of my various friends' children and my in-laws' children and every single person I know that has children has had their children wake during the night. It's 100% completely NORMAL and if anyone tells you something different... well... it's not true.
Don't restrict her liquids or you'll risk dehydrating her. Just help her while she needs it. This won't last forever. At some point she'll stop asking for help.
