My son was potty trained at 2 yrs, 3 mos. Pull ups at night until now. I have occasionally mentioned that, some day, he will wear undies at night, because that’s what "big kids" do. When he asked how “big kids” don’t wet their beds, I’ve told him they get up to go potty or their bodies are just ready to hold it until morning. So now, my 4 1/2 year old son has decided he doesn't want to wear pull ups at night anymore, yet he's still wetting his bed. His mindset is there, but when is his body going to get with the program?
Last week, he awoke to find that he had forgotten to change into a pull up before he went to bed and stayed dry! Now he's decided that he doesn't need/want to wear pull ups to bed anymore and wants to wear undies at night. So, after going 2 more nights dry and 4 waking in the morning to wet pjs and bedding (yippee, thank you waterproof pads), he agreed to having me wake him in the middle of the night to go potty rather than go back to pull ups.
My too busy son would rather just pee into a pull up than take the time to use the toilet, but even he tells his 1 yr old sister that “only babies” wear diapers/pull ups during the day. I had to ban the pull ups until right before lights out (hubs gets 'em ready for bed early evening and was still putting him in pull ups). Even with a pull up, my heavy sleeping son could still wet his bed and sleep right through until morning in a squishy pull up, wet pjs and bedding. Gross, but ultimately not my problem until he tries to climb into my bed! He thinks it's fun to strip sheets, make his bed, and do laundry (I'm too tired to do it mid-night!)
So, one night I didn’t wake him (well, I was too tired), and he stayed dry. Another night, he wet his bed and blamed me for not waking him up! I'm just wondering how long before *I* don't have to wake him mid-night? I’ve thought of one of those alarms, but he can sleep through an alarm clock! He just, finally, started sleeping through the night too (an entirely separate issue), so I would like to catch up on my sleep!
Thank you all for your opinions. I'm in full agreement that his body has to be ready to either hold it all night or wake him enough to use the toilet. Maybe I didn't make that clear when I wrote that that is what I explained to my son. I also know waking him won't train him to wake himself. I also won't let him drink anything past 6 and he uses the toilet before his bath and right before lights out, yet he can still soak thru a pull up. I am not the one who thinks he’s ready to wear undies to bed; he is.
But I also think I may have missed that window of opportunity when he would have been eager about the whole issue. Some may disagree, but after conferring with other moms and grandmas, they seem to think there is a window as well. Some may disagree with giving my son so much control and say I should just tell him what to do and that should be that. Well, he’s the kind of kid whom I’ve had to allow to make his own decisions after we discuss what may happen. So, we go through a lot of screw ups, but he gets it after that.
Anyway, my son is convinced to wear pull ups again after repeated wettings. The 1st night, he wet his pjs still. The 2nd, he wet his bed. The 3rd, he climbed into my bed in the morning before I could catch him, then he peed and wet my bed! The 4th morning, he was walking down the stairs, sat down, peed and left a puddle on the stairs. My son must have a humongous bladder because this is all while wearing overnight pull-ups and no evening fluids! I truly believe that there's no way his pull-up will ever stay dry, day or night, because it's a short cut for him to just use it rather than walk over to the toilet. He's even told me so. He’s even told me that he wakes up in the morning and pees while still in bed rather than use the toilet. He still tries to trick me and will be dishonest about changing into a pullup, because he doesn’t want to take the time to change and also wants to wear undies to bed. I've explained to him that it's fine, but it’s his decision, so it’ll be his responsibility to clean up. So, he’ll sheepishly change.
Two days ago, he actually used the toilet in the morning while still wearing his pull-up. This morning after 3 days of stomach flu dehydration, there were some dry patches on the pull-up, so he said he kept it “mostly” dry. I praised him and reminded him to go a whole week so he could wear undies again. He seemed happy with himself. His preschool teacher suggested pull-ups over undies, because that is how they potty train their students. Let me just finish the laundry and we’ll see….
My daughter wet the bed, less and less frequently, until she was 8. Waking him will not guarantee that he will be dry, and will lead to other issues caused by interrupted sleep. I would explain to him that this is out of his control, and that he needs to wear pull-ups until he is dry a certain number of nights in a row.
Please stop waking him up. It isn't helping him. It is just going to make him more tired and it isn't doing anything to help his bladder develop or his brain to turn off the urine production.
He needs to stay dry at least 2-3 weeks every night before he gets to stop wearing pull ups, unless you don't mind doing a lot more laundry for the next couple of years. I can't afford the extra money it costs to do laundry each and every day. It is at least 2 loads more, times 30 days in the month, that is 60 more loads of laundry per month.
To wash and dry a load of clothes it costs me, utility bill increase, about $1.5 per load. That means the increase of bed linens and jammies would add $45 to the bills, if that does not include water then that would add even more cash being paid out. Then there is the additional laundry detergent and dryer sheets and fabric softener. I use Gain, it is $10 per 45 load box. The bleach is a couple of dollars a gallon, dryer sheets are a $3-$4 per box, fabric softener is also. So add that to a normal month it adds up to
$45 or more for utilites, electricity and natural gas
$10 for water if not paid in rent or lease
$10 for extra laundry soap
$2 for bleach
$4 dryer sheets
$4 fabric softener
So, not using pull ups when someone is not staying dry is very costly, it could add up to $75 a month to your bills plus it takes up your time, which is worth something too.
A box of Huggies overnight pull ups are under $20 at Walmart. Even if you need more that one box, that would still not add up to the higher amount of the added laundry, plus I like having free time to not do laundry.
All the alarms do is make more laundry, every time he sprinkles or dribbles it will go off, making even more laundry. Plus everyone in the home will start having signs of sleep deprivation. It serves no purpose to put anyone through this.
You can search this topic and read the same responses over and over and over again. We all say the same thing over and over again. It takes time, the brain has to tell the kidneys to stop producing urine. The body one day clicks and when the chemicals in the body signify the body is asleep certain things are supposed to happen, we don't act out our dreams because we are somewhat paralyzed, we don't make urine so we sleep all night and do not pee due to a full bladder, it does not matter how much we drink, a dry bladder is less likely to wake us up to go. The body does what it is supposed to whey it is time.
Search in the box for night time dryness, nighttime potty training, etc...you will find all kinds of information.
Waking him during the night is not necessarily going to keep him dry. His body has to be mature enough to hold the urine. There is no way of knowing ahead of time when that will be. This happens to some kids by the time they're 4. With others they're much later, say 8-10.
I would not wake him during the night. I would tell him he has to wear pull ups, that big kids do wear them until their body is ready to stay dry all night. Tell him that when he stays dry for a week straight you can try again. Emphasize with him that it's not something he has control over. It's a physiological maturation thing.
My son was 7.5 before he could stay dry through the night.
We kept him in pullups at night till he woke up dry 2 weeks in a row.
Some kids are 11 or 12 before they can manage it.
This is not something he can control no matter how much he wants to.
Tell him it's up to his bladder and his bladder is not ready to go without pullups yet.
Next trip to the doctors office, you can discuss it with the doctor and he/she'll tell you and your son the same thing.
Stop waking him up... his body simply isn't ready. There's nothing you or he can do until it is. He can be excited on the mornings when his pullup is dry, and you guys can talk about how hard he's trying on the mornings when he's wet.
Both of my twin girls daytime potty trained just after they turned two. One of them started waking up dry at about age three. The other still isn't dry most mornings, and she's almost five. She really wanted to wear undies like her sister so we tried limiting water, waking her up, sticker charts... but nothing worked. We're all a lot happier and better rested now that she's back in pull ups. I wish wish wish wish wish that she would wake up dry - but it's not going to happen until her body is ready.
first off it's not your "job" to wake him up. technically it's HIS job to wake himself up. BUT it's not his fault when/if he doesn't. don't make him feel bad about it, but i would make him wear a pullup. just because my 5 year old son is in the same place - often waking up dry, but when we go with undies, we are still stripping the bed at least half the time. tell him that his body isn't ready yet. yes big boys wear underwear to bed, and he is getting SOOO big (name things he does that are big-boy, like making his bed, getting himself dressed, etc) but just not quite ready to wake up dry. tell him if he can wake up dry for FIVE NIGHTS in a row (or a week, marda and i are on the same page, i just didn't read her response first lol), then he can go without his pullup. make sure he is capable and comfortable getting up in the night to go potty (make sure there's a nightlight if needed, etc - he should not need your help to do that) and get him a calendar so he can keep track how many days he's been dry. these are all things we are doing. i want to encourage but not pressure. good luck!
I just explained to my son that he had to wait for his body to be ready to wake him up when he needed to go in the middle of the night. I reassured him when there were accidents that I wasn't mad at him, and that it takes some people longer to be ready to go all night without a pull up. And to give him a goal, I told him that if he woke up dry 7 days in a row, then we could try sleeping in big boy underwear all night, unless he had another accident. I'd say he was probably 4 1/2 before he reached that goal, but we have only had mayber 2 or 3 accidents since then, and he turned 5 in December.
My 5 yr old son sounds like yours. He really wants no pull ups at night. He gets excited when he goes a few night without but after 3 nights of waking up wet I told him we would buy the small package of pull ups and then try again after those were all gone. It seemed to cut down on the stress a little and he was ok with that idea. We are on the last few right now and he keeps reminding me that when they are gone we will try again.
You've already had lots of great answers. One thing that hasn't been mentioned yet, so I'm not sure if it works or if it's just a myth, is to limit liquids a couple of hours before bedtime.
If you don't want to keep buying disposable pullups, you can buy a couple of cloth-diaper equivalents- they allow you to stuff them for heavy wetters, and it's still waterproof on the outside, and the microfleece against the skin wicks away moisture so it feels dry to the touch. I never bought these but I did use my pocket-stuffed cloth diapers as night-time pullups for my daughter. I think they were around $15 each. (The difference between the cloth diaper and the cloth diaper pullup is that the diaper has snaps or velcro closures on the sides, whereas the pullup is sewn on the sides so it functions more like underwear). They can be washed like regular laundry, no extra load, and if it's dry, easy to use again.
Assure him that lots of "big kids" are still using night-time pullups. My friend's daughter has been daytime trained for years and still has waterproof pads at night. Totally normal.
Best wishes!
My son & daughter were both potty trained at 2. My daughter has had probably less than 10 nighttime accidents in almost 6 years. My son, now 5, wears a pull-up at night. He didn't use a pull-up last summer and did fine but had to go back to them last September. I think it's because he's better rested in the summer - no school & he doesn't have to get out of bed by a certain time. (He's always loved sleeping!) Otherwise he sleeps to deeply to wake himself up to go. he is finally starting to wake up in the night again so hopefully soon we can get back to undies.
If you have extra waterproof pads, I've started making my son's bed with two sets of fitted sheets and pads. If he has an accident, I can just strip off the wet sheets and pad and then have a dry fitted sheet and pad already on the bed. Saves a lot of time and gets me back to my bed sooner!
I just wanted to say don't worry there are others out here who wonder about that too! Well meaning friends that have kids my daughters age are surprised when they find out my 3 1/2 y/o still wears a pull up. My 2 y/o wakes up dry alot more then she does but I haven't bothered all the "tricks" to get them to stay dry. It will come. Ensure he goes to the bathroom before he goes to bed and try buying the overnight pull ups, they hold more
Every child is different and what works for one won't necessarily work for another one! I guess I was just super lucky!! My son had been potty trained during the day for a while but I always put a diaper on him for naps and at bedtime (Pull-Ups didn't exist back then!) One night when he was just over 2 yrs old, he said he didn't want me to put the diaper on him because "only babies wear diapers". I calmly told him that it was fine but if he wet the bed I'd put a diaper on him again because I was not keen to wash wet sheets. He agreed to my terms .... and never once wet the bed! :) My daughter had a couple of "accidents" after she thought she was ready, but was dry more nights than not. I simply didn't make a big deal about it and they pretty much trained themselves! Good luck to all of you still going through the process! :)
Everyone is right about his body being "ready". It turns out that there is a hormone in the brain that tells the bladder to hold on to the urine. Until your son's brain manufactures this hormone he will not stay dry. The brain typically starts producing this hormone around 4 or 5 but as you can see from the responses, and, as with everything with kids, there is a wide range of what can happen.
It is all about when his body is ready. My son overnight trained himself a few months before he was completely trained during the day. He was night trained at about 2 years, 10 months. This is pretty unusual though. I limit, but don't cut out water before bed, he has to pee before he goes to sleep, and I remind him not to sleep on his stomach. There is no shame in wearing pullups at night for as long as he needs. I would not wake him up to go though, but if he really wants/needs you to do that, give him a time limit (say, 3 days) and then stick to it.
