Night Terrors!!!!! - Hopkinsville,KY

Hi A.,

My son, who is now 4.5 years old, used to have these all the time, but I'm glad to see he is finally outgrowing them, and that it's been about 6 months since he's had one. He started having them once he turned 2 years old, and luckily, I knew exactly what it was when it happened, because my niece used to have them as well.

As posted previously, the child does not remember the episode. I guess a night terror is different from a nightmare in the way that they happen during different sleep cycles...I believe a nightmare happens during the REM cycle, while night terrors do not. Although doctors aren't exactly sure what causes them specifically, they do believe they happen when a child is either overtired or stressed out. This has definitely been the case for my son, but I've also noticed it happening the night before he wakes up sick with a bad cold!

You are not supposed to try to wake the child up because it actually freaks them out more. Talking to them too much or trying to hold them can make things much worse. All you can do is ride it out. When this happens to my son, I just sit next to him, say quietly that "Mama is here", and sometimes try to touch him gently on his back just to let him know that I'm with him. Sometimes this does have a calming effect, but sometimes it makes him scream harder...it's sort of trial and error each time and I just have to see if that works or not. What's crazy about all this is that there are times when the child can seem wide awake...they can open their eyes and even talk to you, but they really are asleep and won't remember a thing! My husband didn't believe that I should just let my son go through this, so he would try to wake him up, but he soon realized that the more he tried to wake him up, the worst my son got. As if I would let my son go through this for the hell of it? Duh. :)

I do know that most episodes can average 5-40 minutes...the longest one we've experienced has been 20 minutes, but they usually last between 5-10 minutes for us. And it's also been known to happen more than once per night, but that is rare.

You said next time you will keep your son in his crib until he takes a nap. Well, you can't really force your son to sleep (my son completely gave up naps at 2.5 and my daughter gave hers up at 2)...so if he doesn't take a nap for you, just try putting him to bed an hour earlier. Works for me!

My son was completely potty trained by the time he was 2.5 years old...I did not force this on him, he pretty much did it on his own. He had shown an interest at a young age and we just sort of encouraged it, but we never put pressure on him. There was about a 2 week period where he went from wearing underwear exclusively to the point where he no longer had any accidents and I was able to claim him as being completely potty trained. It was during this 2 weeks when he had the most night terrors! Before, he would have an episode once every month or two, but during this time, they were occurring almost every night, sometimes twice a night. I did not associate the night terrors with the potty training at the time, but a few months later, I looked back and realized, "Oh yah, that is when he had the night terrors!" I was surprised because I knew night terrors could be caused by stress and I didn't realize the potty training was so stressful for him because we really were laid back about the whole thing, letting him take charge. But now I realize it must have been stressful for him!

My daughter is just 20 months younger than my son, and she has never had a night terror! It's so strange how their little brains can be wired so differently...

I hope I was able to give you some good insight..good luck!

D.

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I'm sorry you're having to go through this, but my doctor has assured me that it's much worse on the parents than on the children. The children have absolutely no recollection of the night terror; that's one of the differences between nightmares and night terrors. Sometimes we remember our nightmares. I had night terrors as a child, but my mom didn't know what they were then. My niece had them, my cousin's son had them, and my youngest son has them, so I guess they can run in families. I thought my son had outgrown them about a year ago because he went 5 or 6 months without having one, but then they started up again. He is almost 6 years old. He seems to have them more often when he is over-tired. It's difficult now because he really still needs naps, but he's in kindergarten and they don't nap. I have him nap on the weekends and that helps. It has never gotten easier for me to watch him having a night terror. It's always hard. I hope your little one doesn't have them too often.

I had night terrors as a child and they totally freaked my mom out. She took me to a doctor who identified them. There really isn't much you can do other than keep him safe. I eventually grew out of them, even though I continued to sleep walk and talk. I still talk a lot in my sleep as an adult.

From what I understand, you don't want to try to wake him up. I guess just try to cope with them and wait it out.

My son had them a few times over the course of a couple years. He did grow out of them just as everyone promised. I think they are called night terrors because they are so terrifying for the parents. My son never awoke from one and never ever remembered it the next morning.

Don't have any magic solutions for you. I just held my son and though I didn't feel is wasn't doing anything for him....It made me feel less helpless than just letting him struggle alone.

I've had no experience with these but have heard that they are very unsettling (of course for the child, but for the parent as well). Hope he'll have a better night!