Niece Without a Childhood

I'm not sure that there is a way to confront your brother. However you can always try, but like you said if he takes off then the only real females your neice knows will be gone. If you feel it gets to be a big enough problem then consider talking to dhs. they can keep it confidential and if your niece is not getting taken care of like she is suppose to be then the best place for her to be is out of the home, but not with her mother either, because that seems to be a little too much responsibilty for a young girl like that. I have a step daughter who came to us because she wasn't being taken care of by her mother and not having clothing that fit her and being neglected really effected her in many ways. not only at home but with the children at school also.
well good luck and i hope you can help her.

Wow!! I understand you concerns!! I feel sorry for your neice!! Sounds like your brother needs a reality check!! I dont know how close you are to your brother but it sounds like you need to sit down and express your concerns with him. These are serious issues! His daughter was there first and his girlfriend needs to realize that!! If she cant except his daughter then she needs to go!! Maybe try introducing your brother to someone of better nature. Sounds like he needs pointed in the right direction when it comes to women.

Hi, A.. It sounds like your brother refuses NOT to have a woman in his life. It sounds as if no one in this situation is happy, but are there for the company. Your brother needs to realize that he HAS a child & that child is HIS responsibility. He is supposed to protect that child, nurture that child, and make that child feel loved. It sounds like your poor niece is not getting any of this from either of her parents. I know this is a touchy subject to bring to your brother's attention, but this little girl's future is at stake. He may not see the things going on with his current girlfriend...and it may be because he does not WANT to see them. Don't attack him, but this issue must be addressed before this girl looks to another boy her age for the things she is not receiving from her father. Maybe your mom could talk to him. Whoever the most influential person in your brother's life is would most likely need to be the one to bring this to his attention. Good luck. I know it's a tough one...maybe the best place for her is with her grandparents...where she can feel loved & protected...even if it's not necessarily the easiest thing.

You are going to have to show your brother a little Tough Love get the daughter over to your house and then call your brother and first tell him not to try anything stupid or you will get CPS involved even if you really wouldn't just tell him that. Then tell him that until he can grow-up and have some balls and BE A MAN and deal with the girlfriend and stand up for him self and his daughter that she is not going to come home and then tell him all of your concerns If that don't work then take it to the next level that girl needs a mother figure and a father figure in her life or unfortunately she will turn out like her mother and report the mother that is not right what she is making that girl do that girl deserves better

hi A., i also have a brother that was left to raise a little girl all on his own. even though he has stayed single the entire time it has been very difficult for him. i think one of the most important things to do is to get yourself into her life as quickly as possible. i'm not sure if you live near them at all, but maybe you could talk to your brother and tell him that you would love to have another girl in the house every once in a while, to have someone to talk to! if he doesn't agree right away, bring up the point that you could talk to her about girl stuff, like periods, training bras, and stuff like that. if he hears that he doesn't have a "first period talk" with her, he's sure to jump on that. it sounds like he is a loving father that really WANTS to do what is best for his daughter, but is kinda cluless as far as what that means. maybe he thinks that ANY woman in her life is better than NO woman, but is actually bringing destructive women into her life. i think that as her aunt you can really have a possitive influence on her. my neice is now 19 and is really well adjusted. she has gone through all the issues that normal teens do, but she has come through them and is truly a joy to be around. good luck!

As much as you want to help, the best you can do is support his decisions. It's hard to watch a younger sibling make mistakes without trying to correct him or her but he has been the father and the teen seems very good, with no bad behaviors. That shows he's done a good job with her. I wouldn't try to interfere. Good Luck.

Hey,
The advice I would have is approach your brother, do it non-judgementally and just pose all the evidence to him. Explain to him that your niece is blood and that bond can never be erased and should not have to be because of some immature woman. It is so sad when a so called adult reign terror over a fresh new life that needs guidance and support. If only there was some way to make your brother understand his daughter needs him, the "adult" woman should not. She had after all been through her adolescence. Just approach him in a kind way trying to make him realize a little bit of the pain and anguish his own flesh and blood is experiencing. I know this probably is not too helpful. I am horrible at giving advice when the subject makes me so upset. My first instinct is annhilate the woman, just kidding, but really she is supposed to be the adult in this situation. Can she be approached? Well just know that my prayers are with your niece. C.

Sounds like the Girlfriend is jealous of your niece. If your brother won't stand up for her then someone else should. Someone needs to put the girlfriend in her place and make it clear that if she wants your brother, she needs to accept the whole package. If your niece is treated badly and knows her own father will not stand up for her, just think of what her adulthood would be like. She might marry an abusive man (physical or maentl) and just take it. She won't stand up for herself and her family won't either. It sounds like she would be better off with you, but you need to put your foot down for her and say, ENOUGH!
M. S.

I am so sorry to hear this!! There is no need to make children feel this way and it makes me angry to know that there are children out there in this situation! I think that if you go to your brother and get angry then the situation will be even worse for your niece. I think that maybe there is a need to get the state involved again. You can call in a request to the state and tell them that you think that she is being neglected and you don't have to tell them your name! Even if it makes people more aware of the situation that is what you want...the state will contact the teachers and doctors and other people to investigate. I think that will help to have people looking into their family and at that time your niece can tell them what she thinks. She is old enought to choose what she wants to do. Maybe talk to her before and see how she is feeling toward the whole thing. Good Luck I will be thinking of your family!!