So my 19 month old spent the majority of the weekend with our 8 yr old niece- circus Sat. morning, family party Sat. night, and Sunday my husband took them both to the park. OF COURSE Sunday night our niece started vomiting and now has a high fever. She stayed home with grandpa Monday and today, but her mom has not made her a doctor's appt. We are supposed to go to his parents tonight for his mom's bday, and of course Thursday is Thanksgiving, so that's another family gathering. Now, I realize that whatever she has, my husband and daughter have probably already been exposed, but so has much of the family at the party Saturday night.
So my question is- am I crazy for wanting to keep all of us home this week? I don't know if it is H1N1, but of course that's my suspicion. I've had my shot, and my daughter's just got it today. Even if it's not that, I really don't wanna deal with ANY kind of sickness, esp since I'm pregnant. And even if the niece stays home from the festivities this week (which I know her mother, and it won't happen) I'm afraid of other family members carrying it without knowing. My doc told me it can incubate in the body for a week without you showing symptoms.
UGH. I think even if I convince hubs that my daughter and I should stay home, he'll still go himself and bring whatever it is home. I'm not usually this paranoid about germs but I really don't know what to do.
Am I being nuts?
ALSO, I really don't think it's the same as going shopping or whatever, where there's a possible risk. In those situations, yes we wash our hands before touching our faces or anything like that. And those "possibly" sick strangers are not getting close and certainly not touching us. But, in this case, I KNOW someone is ill, and to be sharing the same air with her, and letting her play with my daughter?? (If we go, it will be impossible to keep them apart) I just think it's asking for it.
Thanks to all the moms who responded. We skipped on the dinner last night. HUGE, HUGE fight. Not that I care. It's nice having the bed to myself :)
Most likely will not be going tomorrow either. I told him if it's that important for him to see his parents, he can just stay the whole week at their place!!
You're not crazy at all! Do what you feel is right. Both of my children have diabetes so we stay away from functions that we KNOW will expose us to sickness. It's impossible to avoid all together and we don't live in fear.....but a little wisdom goes a long way!
No matter what you decide I hope you have a happy, illness-free Thanksgiving!
A.,
I don't think you are crazy. I think that you need to protect yourself (and baby) and little daughter. Yes, she and your husband may have already been exposed, but that doesn't mean you should subject you or anyone else in your family to more germs if you can help it.
Let's be honest - none of us want to be germaphobes. But this is said to be one of the worst flu seasons yet. I think it's easy for people who DON'T have infants or small children to say we're being paranoid. Well, I'd rather be paranoid at this point, than grieving the loss of a child due to something that is SOMEHOW preventable.
I'm with you. At risk of annoying your family, I would opt to stay home. I would also have a serious talk with your husband about supporting your decision and HIM staying home too.
From what I understand, you can't tell if it's H1N1 unless your niece gets tested while she's sick. If your SIL is rude or ignorant enough to bring a sick child to a family gathering because it's "a holiday", then you should stay away. Also, be careful about having other family members over to your house (or visiting with them) after they've been around your sick niece.
We have had to become very cautious in our house - insisting everyone entering washes hands or uses hand sanitizer. We have a newborn and I don't care who gets upset with our expectations in our own home. Like you said, sick people need to stay away from your home too because just breathing illness onto you can get you sick.
Good luck.
Hi A.,
I agree with you that this is a great time to stay home and just have your thanksgiving at your house...you can talk to the rest of the family on the phone.
My daughter came home sick from college recently (she's better now), and our pediatrician gave her a sick child checkup and stated that people with H1N1 tend to have high fever...but other things can also trigger a fever and not be H1N1 so only the doctor can figure it out. I was trained to make sure that my kids go to doctor if they have fever of 101 or higher. Unfortunately, because its your niece with the mystery illness, you cannot just drive her to the doctor because it is her parents decision when to get medical help for their daughter.
So, I agree that your safe thing to do is just be home and enjoy your family...and make plans to get together with the larger set of relatives when people are healthy again.
C. L
mom of three
prenatal yoga teacher
They need to take your niece to the doctor to get her swabbed to see what she has.It isn't fair to anyone if they don't.You MUST protect all of your children. That is your job as a parent . You are probably going to have to remind your husband of that. My kids just got over influenza A which they say is H1N1 . My daughter had a 104 degree fever and was seeing bugs in her bed because of it. She had a low grade fever for over a week. She was on Tamiflu and cough medicine,tylenol and motrin. It was not fun. My husband and I didn't get it thank god but her twin brother did but not as bad. Good luck to you :)
I don't think you're crazy! If the other mom won't take your niece to the doctor than I would try to keep your whole family laway from her right now. Talk to your husband and try to get him to see that you need to protect your two little ones. Good luck!
Hi A. -
you are not crazy. You are pregnant and have all the right to be concerned. No need to feel bad about that. I think when we are pregnant we just have these stronger instincts and worries and sometimes it is hard for others- especially males- to follow on this. This winter is even harder because of all the hype and panic about the H1N1 flu. I am 31 weeks pregnant myself and I am very pre cautious about the infection risks in my close environment. I also believe that a Thanksgiving gathering is different than a trip to the grocery store because everybody is bringing food, eating together, playing together. I don't think you will be able to enjoy it if you are not comfortable going. And if knowingly sick relatives are attending then it is your choice to stay out of there. It would be great if your husband and you could just stay out altogether and agree on that. It sounded a little bit like that might be hard. I think it would be best if you could work it out together but you are not nuts and the reason why we all feel so strongly about it this year is because the CDC and the media are firing up anxieties with the way they are spreading any kind of news about flu related complications and deaths. That I actually found really crazy and not helping the situation at all but that is not the topic :) All the best for you!
You have valid reasons for skipping these functions. I know I wouldn't go.
If your first instinct is to stay home - then do it. Let your husband go, but ask him to avoid contact with the sick niece.
Stay well!
When my kids are sick I keep them home. There will be other festivities in the future. If your niece's mother will not do the responsible thing, then I think you absolutely have the right to stay home and keep your daughter home too. It's worth the fight with the husband. If the family objects, you can always blame it on the pregnancy and say your ob/gyn said it was the best thing to do. I am very adamant about this sort of thing because my twin boys caught RSV last year right before Christmas because an aunt brought her "a little under the weather" son to a family event. Since it wasn't the first time she's done this, I did my best to keep them apart and called the pediatrician the moment the boys developed a fever. The only reason my boys didn't end up in the hospital was because our amazing pediatrician squeezed us in and we were able to catch it early.
Your gut instinct is right. Your first job is to protect your children. 18 months old is still very young - you don't want her to be sick if she doesn't need to be. Hope you all have a great holiday.
The family should understand. This H1N1 is no joke especially when it comes to young children and pregnant women. They should beware themselves because this flu is so unpredictable. I would stay home with my daughter and if your husband goes I would have him sleep in another room to make sure he hasn't picked up anything. You have a small child and an unborn child to protect. Be that mother lion that protects her children from all dangers. If they don't understand then that is their problem. Better safe and well then sorry in the hospital.
Hello A.,
I don't think that you are crazy at all for not wanting to spread the germs and cause a whole family to come down with a nasty flu. You being pregnant,can cause even more complications. I would for sure stay away, call them on the phone and wish all a very happy holiday.
good luck
I would stay home if I were you. From recent experience my son had the stomach flu on Friday and I got it two days ago. I am 35 weeks pregnant and from the throwing up and 'other bathroom festivities" I ended up with contractions all day (I thought my water was going to break with the heaving). I am still unable to eat much today and here and there I have cramping, but I would not wish on anyone what I had yesterday.
Best of Health to you!
If more people would stay home when they are ill or know someone else is ill, wash hands, get plenty of sleep. Stop making extraneous trips to stores when ill to get a movie or pick up one last thing. These illnesses would not spread as quickly.
That is a huge pet peeve of mine! I would keep my family home and tell them exactly the reason why.
