Newborn Wont Sleep Without Being Nursed

Do you know how much milk she is getting? Maybe she's just not getting enough to eat? I had to supplement my son with formula because he was the same way and I just wasn't producing enough milk. It's just a thought? Maybe you should pump a few times just to see how much milk you are actually producing?

I hope this helps and if not then I hope someone else has the answer for you. I know it's frustrating but hang in there, it will get better!!

Take care and good luck,

N.

I agree with Cheryl. That is exactly what we did and it took a couple of days, but then it worked like a charm. Oue daughter then was used to falling asleep on her own, without any crutch. we read all of this in the baby whisperer. it is an amazing book.

I think you've gotten some good advice. I enjoyed reading it, because my dd is 3 mos. now, and I still feel like I can't get anything done! She's happy, but I also have a two-yr. old and I can't leave the baby in a bouncy seat and leave the room for more than 30 seconds for safety reasons! I also have a six and an eleven yr. old. My house looks like a tornado hit most of the time!
It does get better, and I'm still trying to be at peace with my messes.:)
Just keep breathing and smiling, it helps.

You've gotten some great advice... I remember when my son was newborn he would basically only sleep on us. Nursing worked like a charm for him too (still does). The sling is great - try a Kangaroo Korner Fleece Pouch (they're super easy to use and she'll snuggle right in). Also going for a walk and letting her fall asleep in the stroller is good. (Or walking with her in the sling).

I would not worry about whether she's getting enough to eat. As long as she's got wet diapers and is gaining weight she's fine.

Also, I would not try and "sleep train" or let her cry it out this early. You are NOT setting up any perminant sleep habits this young. Babies cannot really learn to soothe themselves until they're ~3 months old. Until she gets to this age just do what you need to do.

My main advice is don't worry too much about "getting things done" for a while, if you possibly can. Feed yourself and get a shower in, but let your husband do the dishes, laundry, etc. Things will be a LOT easier in a few weeks if you can just hang in there and let things slide.

You are right that you cannot spoil a newborn in that you cannot hold and cuddle them too much...they need all the cuddles and love they can get. :) But you certainly can teach them poor sleeping habits without even meaning to. Right now it sounds like your daughter is dependent on nursing to sleep and stay asleep...something that will ultimately not allow her to get the restful sleep she needs. In order to break the habit, to help her learn to sleep without that crutch, you could do this. Nurse her a full meal and then give her awake play time, then place her down for a nap without nursing her to sleep a little later. This way she doesn't have the "crutch" of being rocked and nursed to sleep, but rather has that cozy rock and nurse time THEN play time THEN nap time without a crutch. Then when she wakes up from nap it's cozy nurse time again to start the cycle again. It will probably take a few days to get the rhythm down, as she is getting used to it and learning to let her body fall asleep on it's own, but it will come soon enough. Whether you do a "regular schedule" or not (I did and it worked great for us though I kept it flexible to allow for growth spurts and such), this routine helps the baby and you tremendously for SEVERAL reasons. So, yes, spoil your baby, but also help her along with learning good habits. I don't think it's likely that you are not producing enough...that's a very uncommon problem from what I've heard. I think it's purely a habit thing, that she's learned that she needs to be nursing to be sleeping. Keep drinking plenty of water and try the routine and I think you'll see a LOT of improvement with her restful sleep. Let me know if you have any other questions or anything about all this. :) Best wishes to you both!!

You have been getting some good advice
-you are most likely producing enough milk.... if she's gaining and having wet/poopy diapers... you are fine
- Slings will save you! I wear my 2nd baby all the time... while I clean, cook, eat, wash dishes, etc.
- As nursing gets easier you will be able to nurse in the sling and get things done at the same time!
- you cannot spoil a baby. A BABY"S WANTS ARE A BABY"S NEEDS
- Sleep training (ESPECIALLY at this age-- but I don't believe in it) is not a good thing for baby
- This too shall pass. Sounds like it could be colic, it could be reflux, it could be fussy baby. Things will change. There is nothing more important than sitting down with baby.

Dr. Sears has a good book on parenting a high needs baby but this may just be a phase. Deep breath. Relax

I had a fussy baby too- hang in there!!! She was much better after 6-7 weeks, if that is any reassurance!

Do you have an infant swing? My daughter liked the swing sometimes.

Try swaddling. I was never really good at it, but I thought their little arms needed to be free- now I know that that makes them feel like they are falling. Swaddle with arms inside. Babies R Us have velcro-type swaddling wraps that are easier than trying to fold and wrap a blankie.

Try massage. Google infant massage. My dd liked some pressure on her tummy. She also had to be burped pretty forcefully (I'm not saying beat your baby, but sometimes we're a little TOO gentle when it comes to burping!)

Slings are a great idea. They do take practice, but WOW- my baby would actually sleep in one!

Also, I co-slept. They make those little triangular shaped, terrycloth covered wedge things if you're worried about rolling over onto her. She had to be VERY close to me or else she would not sleep, but co-sleeping was just a miracle for us.

Try vacuuming or turning on a hairdryer, or a radio station that is set to static, and fairly loudly. This imitates the sounds she heard in the womb.

Hang in there with the breastfeeding too. I promise, the longer you do it, the easier it gets!!!

I joined La Leche League and LOVED it. I got such great advice- more for how to comfort and for my own sanity of getting out of the house and having a room full of women who were going through the exact same things!

Editing to add: Pumping to see how much you are producing is NOT an accurate measure. You do not produce as much milk by pumping as your baby can extract. This is outdated information given by doctors who aren't educated in lactation. It is *RARE* that a woman does not make enough food for her baby. You can easily count diapers to make sure she is not dehydrated. Also, not all breastfed babies poop every day, so as long as she is past the meconium stage, no need to worry if she isn't pooping a lot. Breastfed babies absorb MOST of the milk- it is that perfect!- so there is little waste to excrete! Most pediatricians will also weigh your baby for free as many times as you want to bring her in between well baby visits.

Congrats on your little one!
Amanda
-aspiring IBCLC

My first thought is maybe try wrapping her in a blanket before you nurse and put her down some babies like to be wrapped up even when it is warm out She maybe noticing the temp. difference when you move her. Or do you have a swing my daughter loved her swing or bouncey seat that you can take from room to room with you. Or better yet forget about all the other stuff for awhile and just hang out with baby.
Have a great day

My #2 was high needs too or at least it seemed to me that way as I had to take care of my firstborn ;)
During a day I used a lot bjorn or Kangooro Korner carrier. I also used swing (side to side) with white noise hairdryer CD ( which I found on Internet-- did search via google).
Oh and I also used miracle blanket for naps and nighttime (got it from the web).

With my first I used bouncy chair with vibration f-n but my 2nd child didn't like it at all.

Now he is a typical boy maybe still high needs! LOL

Another idea you might want to check on is reflux. Does she arch her back when you feed her sometimes? Crying for no reason for long periods of time? Might be something you should look into...? My son had the same problems but then I got him on infant Zantac for reflux and he was happier in a couple of days, and then was able to fall asleep on his own without nursing to sleep.

My son was the same way. Have you tried wearing her in a sling? This way she gets the constant movement and you can get things done and she is all cozy in her little "nest". My son wouldn't go to sleep without nursing until he was probably a year or so, but they do grow out of it. Good luck! I know how frustrating it is!

Hotslings or Maya Wrap might be a good place to start as far as looking into slings.

Please dont' think it is your milk supply. Pumping isn't an accurate representation of how much milk a baby gets anyway cause a baby is much more effective at getting the milk out than a pump is. If baby is falling asleep at the breast they are getting plenty to eat. I think PP probably had an unsupportive ped or someone who is like minded who told her to give formula. It is not at all necesscary. Alot of newborns are just fussy.....that's just the way they are. Their digestive systems are very immature yet for the first few months so this can cause some discomfort. Plus they are just learning about the world and all the sensory input alot of times overwhelms them.

I feel for you. My daughter was not fussy, but she wouldn't go to sleep without being nursed, and then I couldn't move from that spot until she woke up. Just like you I couldn't put her in her crib because she would wake up.
But, at about 3 months of age, I was able to start putting her down for regular naps. It was just like a light bulb turned on she changed so fast. So, try to hang on and hopefully it will get better. I just had to learn to deal with not getting things done.
Does she like a sling or baby bejorn? It would give her the closeness and bouncing and give you the freedom of your arms to get things done.

Get a really good baby carrier! W/ some practice you'll be able to nurse her in the carrier and have both hands free. Please LMK if I can help you find a carrier or learn to use one. I am NOT in the carrier SELLING business. But I do offer classes on babywearing. And would be willing to help you online too.

A.,
My daughter was the exact same way. She would need to eat very frequently and was basically over eating. She had reflux and was sucking and eating to soothe the pain. She would fall asleep on me, but as soon as I moved to put her down anywhere else, she would wake up and scream. She would never nap during the day and would finally be so exhausted that she would sleep from 10pm-5am. She would need to be bounced all the time and would scream in the car seat, swing and papasan chair. The doctor told me it was colic, but I knew something was really wrong, so I took her to a pediatric GI specialist. Turned out she had reflux and we got her on medicine and she was much better. She is still a high maintenance child and I still hold her and snuggle with her all the time, but she is doing so much better now. Good luck, I've been there and it's really tough. It will pass, but if you're really worried, check with her doctor about reflux.

A.:

You have received a lot of advise here...I think that you would benefit from the one on one with a board certified lactation consultant.

Babies fuss for a reason... it is our job to figure out why and what can be done to help them.

P., RLC, IBCLC
Pres. Lactation Support Group, Inc
www.lactationsupportgroup.com
800 LACTATE

I don't care what anyone else says. You can NOT spoil a newborn. Some babies need more attention than others. I really don't have any suggestions other than keep doing what you're doing, but don't let anyone tell you that you can spoil a newborn. Have you tried one of the new gliders that they have out? They get expensive, but well worth the $!! Good Luck!

I just want to second everything Elizabeth R said.
My daughter is 8 months now. She is a classic "high needs" baby.
It does get better, I promise. My daughter is so mauch happier now that she can move around on her own.
I also read Dr. Sears book. I do not co-sleep (which he advocates), and I am only a part-time "baby wearer" now that DD crawls and cruises, but his book was a good read. It was just so nice to read something that seemed to understand my "high needs" baby. I got a few snide comments and some really bad advice from people with "easy" babies in the beginning and I was feeling kind of frustrated.
Early on, wearing her was the only way I got any peace or got anything done. My DD wouldn't allow me to sit down! I don't know how she could tell I was 1 inch lower leaning on the arm of the couch, but she would protest LOUDLY! She was so happy when she was in her carrier all snuggled up against me. The natural motion of your body is what she is used to and should soothe her greatly.
Also learning how to properly swaddle your baby should buy you some much needed sleep time. It was the only way my daughter would sleep at night. During the day I could occasionally put her in a swing for a nap, but not regularly.
You CANNOT spoil a newborn, and the dishes can wait :)
Good luck to you, I truly know how hard it is. Just repeat to yourself "this too shall pass".

I highly recommend a sling! I got one for my second child after I brought her home b/c she wanted to be held all the time and hear/read lots of good things about them. Try the new native baby carrier website. Hang in there!

My almost 5 month old was the same way for the first 2-3 months. Especially in the evening he just wanted to nurse, even if he wasn't "eating". Just enjoy it, it will be gone before you know it. Definately get a sling or carrier- it saved me! Your movement will help her sleep and you can get stuff done.

My third was fussy. I figured out she had gerd. She would e fine upright which is why she liked to be carried. I don't like sleepling with kids or laying with them during naptimes I have four and babysit my nephew who is 5mths. So instead I got her used to the swing. She stayed in there during naps and bedtime. Also switched her infant seat to an upright infant seat. She's two now and really good about sleeping. If you're anything like me you are not going to like using a sling,so I'd keep trying all different things. And yes I do think you can get anewborn use to sleeping on a warm body with your heartbeat. If this means they're "spoiled" than yes you can. Hope this helps, good luck.

I have a high needs baby, too, and boy do I remember those days. You pretty much have to follow her lead. I nursed our newborn down to sleep for each nap, and I either layed there with him, or sometimes, very slowly, I was able to sneak away. It's hard, half of the time, he would wake up and we would have to start all over again. I also recommend the sling. Babywearing is a great way to keep the constant contact that most babies need, and you can get things done. Dr. Sears books are great.

I know it's hard, but remember this too shall pass. I still have to lie down with my son for naps, which is good now because I am pregnant again and need the rest. But it is hard to get things done. I suggest having house cleaning help if you can, and making lots of dinners to freeze on the weekends so you have them during the week.

For whatever reason, she just needs a lot of contact now and there are lots of babies like this. Just follow her lead. I know it's hard but it will get better!

I totally understand what you are going through. My son was the same way. I actually just went with the flow. I nursed him as much as he needed and carried him throughout most of the day in a Hotsling. He was content, I wasn't engorged and I could get things done. Sling - www.hotsling.com and nursing info - www.lalecheleague.org. Good luck!

Anything that gets you through the first 6-12 weeks is what is best. If your newborn will only sleep when nursing, if you haven't already introduce a pacifier. I am pretty sure that even lactation consultants will agree that you can't nurse the entire time your child needs to sleep. And it sounds like he/she is a pretty good nurser, so I would go ahead. Also try a bouncy seat or swing to put them down, and co sleep at night. My son was the same way, and after a breakdown in my pediatritians office at two weeks, these are the steps he recommended I take. At three months you can start getting them used to going to sleep normally, etc., but right now, whatever gets you through the day. Keep in mind, they are used to constant motion, it is all they know from being in the womb, even your breath would rock them gently constantly. Ease them in to stability a bit, vibrating bouncy seats are awesome for this!

Good luck and congrats!
Jen

Use babies magic tea to keep your baby cool. It soothes colicky babies naturally. I'e used this tea and it did good.

My second was the exact same way. It's frustrating because you need your sleep to care for your first born. My advice to you is to just let her sleep on you. Get comfortable in your bed or in a chair and lay back so that you can comfortably sleep holding her. She'll sleep better on her belly anyway (I didn't just say that...)
If you haven' tried a bassinet or somewhere for her to sleep that is smaller than the crib you might want to give that a shot. And have some sort of noise machine around her.
Good luck, it's a frustrating time but you should be in a better spot by 4 months!

www.sclb.net

Hi A.- I am not going to give you any advice on how to parent your daughter, I am going to let you know that you are not alone. I had a quick and easy adjustment to parenting one "easy baby" I didi not realize my first daughter was easy until my second daughter came along. I held #2 all the time or she screamed, she never took a bottle etc. Now she is #2 out of 4 kids, 6 years old and the sweetest most independant of my 4 kids. Know that this too shall pass, and before you know it she will be heading off to kindergarten like you son!
Good Luck
Bethant