Newborn Sleeping - Dallas,TX

My own experience - my breastfed, cosleeping babies did not sleep through the night until well past 9 months old. They did not sleep in their own bed until closer to two and a half.

I would not do it that way again.

S.

Hi! I'm a big believer in teaching kids to fall asleep on their own, but even so, 6 weeks is pretty young. I would try to just get him into a good routine (I think schedules help enormously with sleep training) and try to get him used to sleeping away from you. That will probably mean rocking him until he is very drowsy for a while then staying close by until he falls asleep. Once he's used to doing that, and is used to the idea of regular nap times, I think you'll find it easier to guide him towards putting himself to sleep. Good luck!

J.,

As you know every child is different but I can tell you that mine weren't able to self soothe or get on a schedule until they were about 8-10 weeks old.

My two were breastfed and did not sleep through the night until 12 months...however, they were easy to put to sleep also in a pack N play bassinet thing. I would make sure to swaddle him nice and snug; my two had to have two thin blankets for them to feel snuggly--one did not work. The second blanket should be sort of stretchy to give a good hold. Both of mine were swaddled until close to 6 months of age....

I would not allow him to cry for that long, though. The restriction of clean oxygen for that long is detrimental to his brain development. Do what works and you will get through it...if him falling asleep on you and then putting him in the PNP works, then do that. Don't put too much pressure on making him grow up faster than he is ready or on you to make something unnatural work. It is hard to do that and meet your needs, but there has to be other options than to make him quickly adjust. Dr. Harvey Karp has great material on infants and so does Dr. Sears at www.askdrsears.com

Hang in there and I hope everyone gets some good rest soon. Good luck going back to work....

You have gotten alot of great advise here. I agree mostly with Linda F. As a mom of six, I breastfed all my babies and they all slept with me until I stopped nursing. They need and want the safety and comfort of their mom.

Please continue to breasrfeed as long as you can. Even if it is only at night. Since you will be away from him most of the day he will enjoy you nursing and the comfort of your body next to his. It will be an adjustment just not having you during the day. Sleeping with you at night will also be a big comfort to him. He is too young to just cry it out.

Please consider hiring an in home sitter(who is recommened by someone you trust)as I used to work in a daycare in the infant room and babies are 10in a room to 2 workers. It is not easy to give every baby the time and attention they all need. There were days when some just had to cry until we could get to them. In home care he would have the comfort and love and his needs met more than at a daycare.

Continue to nurse and let him sleep with you. This will help soo much from being away from you for so long during the day. Use your natural instinct as a mom and trust your first reaction to the situation. It is the right one.Hope this helps. Many Blessings. E. F.

I think you are expecting too much from such a little baby. First, he needs to be swaddled and cuddled to sleep--a few minutes of holding and rocking will go a long way. Also, just before you go to bed--rouse him just enought to get him to nurse---that will fill him up for all toi get a better night sleep--then hold and rock and swaddle---this will work and he will sleep through the night very quickly--but just to lay him down awake and expect him to go to sleep--that is unfair to him--he is just out of the womb--very close and very warm environment.

Me--Mom of 2 and Nana of 3!

It is not healthy or safe to let a 6 week old baby cry for 1.5 hours.

Your baby is six weeks old! Why would you let him cry for over an hour? Buy a co-sleeper bed for him or rock him back to sleep, but don't let him feel abandoned in the middle of the night. I don't mean to sound rude, but I just don't know how anyone could let a baby that young cry for that long or at all for that matter. Please reconsider your approach and good luck on your return to work.

Especially since you'll be a working mom, YES, let him sleep with you as much as he wants. It is so bonding for him and you. Babies are not naturally meant to sleep by themselves. My son has slept with us since day one and as long as your attitude is that you WANT him in bed with you, everything will go completely smoothly and you'll both be happy. I HIGHLY recommend co-sleeping for a million reasons- but especially for M.'s who are gone during the day.
Also, by the way- I know a Mom here in McKinney who is looking for a child to babysit in her home. If you're interested, email me and I can give you her info. Or at the least, I would highly recommend you give a second thought to the daycare option- increased risk of sicknesses, less attention, left alone to lie on back of head and cause encalepathy(sp?) Take Care!

Personally, I think 6 weeks is too young to expect the baby to get into a routine and fall asleep on his own. I would wait until he's closer to 12 weeks. He's just a baby and won't be one for long!

I read and followed the book "On Becoming Babywise" with both my boys (Now 4 1/2 and 2). They were on a schedule by 2 months and were sleeping through the night by 3 months. They have always napped very well too - my almost 5 year old still naps to this day. I recommend this program to all my friends - it is foolproof!

I read "on becoming babywise." thsi book teaches your baby how to sleep by putting them on a schedule. orginally you are supposed to feed them every 3 hours and then at night after 6 weeks you let them sleep until they wake up. this helps them tell the difference between day and night. but be careful to not be too rigid. it teaches you that hunger patterns equal sleep patterns. and to learn the difference in their cries. demand fed babies have no real schedule and are fed on demand so their hunger patterns are out of whack and therefore their sleeping, it worked for us. Our daughter is a wonderful sleeper and now i know if she randomly wakes in teh middle of the night, soemthing is wrong.
she slept through the nigth with 12 hours at 4 mos. she takes 2 naps a day and still sleeps 12 hours a night. But of course, I was told to never co sleep- it's hard to break that habit. she has always been in her own bed, then I started putting her in her crib for her naps at about 3 mos. adn gradually to sleep at night. she sleeps in her own crib in the dark and people always tell us how happy she is. it's because she's getting good sleep and knows her routine. the book says a routine equals a happy baby b/c they know when their needs will always be met such as eating, diaper, playtime and naptime.
it's a controversial book, but all i know is everyone who does this has happy, content babies adn children. babies don't know their needs- they learn what we teach them. if they get fed everytiem they cry, then that's what they'll learn. if they sleep with you, then that's what they'll learn as normal and it will be hard to break.

Julie,
this is the hardest part of newborns that many parents struggle with. Let me just say that new babies are used to you constantly wrapping them in the womb Read Dr Karps Happiest Baby on the Block. As a pediatric consultant the fanilies I work with are getting excellent sleep results of at least 1 4 hour and sometimes a 5 hour sleep set by 2-3 weeks of life. The majority of my moms are nursing and there are some key factors in helping a baby sleep better when nursing. Feeding very frequently during the day, swaddling, providing white noise during sleep cycles, particularly at night are all key factors. I have a happiest baby class that parents bring thier babies to at The Nestingplace and most are amazed at the immeadiate response. I would be happy to help you with a private class if you would like.
I see many people with older children for both pediatric and lactation consultations because those first few weeks can be so difficult and we forget the newborn tricks we no longer need as they get a little older. Please feel free to call.
You can get a copy of the Happiest Baby... dvd at your local library for free btw, the information works and easy to do once you know how.
good luck and congratulations on your growing family.
K.

I think that 6 weeks might be a little young for self soothing, but not too young to get them to sleep in their own bed. I have nearly 3yr old twins that have been sleeping thru the night since they were 6 months. they never slept with us, instead snoozed in a co-sleeper by our beds. They were right there if they cried and I didn't have to worry about their safety or them becoming dependent on sleeping in our beds. I just don't like to start a habit that I'm going to have to fight to break later.

I would try rocking him to sleep or letting him fall asleep in your bed, then moving him to his bed. When he wakes up and cries, feed him or comfort him until he falls asleep then put him back in his bed. The first couple night might be up and down, but I PROMISE you that the end result will be he will sleep in his own bed. You and your husband can have restful sleep and so can your son.

My daughter-in-law breast fed her two boys. She always feed them and held them until they were asleep, then put them down. She didn't start putting them down awake until after 7 or 8 months. 6 weeks is a little early to try to get a schedule. Their little stomachs aren't on a schedule yet.

Good luck and get the baby out of your bed as soon as you can for your sake. You will need your sleep when you go back to work.

D. Kimbriel
Grandma to 2 great boys

At that stage, I say do what works to get him to sleep. I, too, would be nervous having him sleep in my bed--I know it works fine for lots of moms, but I used to work in a shelter where a newborn suffocated after getting stuck in the crack between the wall and the bed, so I've NEVER let DD sleep with me, even for a nap. She's always been in a bassinet or crib. BUT, when she was that young, we would rock or nurse her to sleep. Do whatever keeps you sane. Breastfed babies do eat more often than formula fed, but at 3 mos my DD would go from 11pm to 5am, then back to sleep until about 8; by 8 mos she was sleeping 7 to 7. At 6 weeks, I was still up every 2-3 hours. I recommend the book "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer"--my results weren't quite as extreme as the author claimed, but it did help a lot, particularly in recognizing when DD was nursing for comfort rather than nutrition, so I could make the rule that "mom is not a pacifier." GL!

My second child only slept for 30 minutes at a time until she was way past 6 months. By that time I was a basket case. (She's 32 now and still very demanding!) My only defense was to nurse in bed so I could stay sane. All children are different, so whatever you read in a book might not apply to your baby. Take it easy, do whatever you have to do with your husband's help (be very thankful you've got such a good helper and let him know you appreciate it immensely), and remember that at 6 weeks, babies are going through a growth spurt and will want to nurse constantly for several days in a row, so this may be one of the problems.

Growth spurts happen at 3 weeks, 6 weeks, 12 weeks, and it might seem like nothing you can do will help him sleep. Many nursing moms quit at this time because they think there is something wrong with them or their milk supply.

Your body is just getting used to supplying him with the milk he needs right now. If you are planning to keep nursing after you go to work, remember it takes about 12 weeks to get a routine going for nursing, where your body is ready to respond to what the baby needs and you feel comfortable with nursing again. The baby's not sleeping when you want him to is all related to him being so young.

The current issue of mothering magazine has several articles about how to safely co-sleep with your baby. It also talks about studies that show mothers get more sleep with their child within arms reach than separated. Maybe check that out.

There is a great book by Elizabeth Pantley called "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" that has some great advice and ideas. Personally, I'd say that if you don't have any issues with it, just keep letting your baby breastfeed and sleep with you as long as possible especially with you going back to work. It will be a tough adjustment and more than anything, little ones need to feel safe and secure when going thru periods of adjustment.

J.,
6 weeks is really too young to establish any kind of routine - except for your baby's. Everyone else will get more rest if you just go with what the baby wants until at least 3 months ... that's only 6 more weeks. We followed a program found in a book called "Healthy Sleep habits, happy child." You can find it almost anywhere. Dr. Weissbluth is the author. I promise you if you work this routine into your already busy schedule it will work and soon your little one will be sleeping for 12 hours straight! Just give yourself some grace and wait a few weeks.

Having them sleep with you is the sweetest time of infancy. If you're worried about it then visit Target and buy the in-bed sleeper for the baby. It's like a pad with low sides and a night lite at the top so you can nurse, put the baby next to you and not be concerned about rolling onto the baby.

I pray you have found a day care that will help you with your schedule. And, I hope you have family or friends that can give you a break.

Suzi

I have three of my own children, I use to own a day care and I am currently a NICU nurse. ( So I take care of lots of babies) My own children sleep in the room with me but not in the bed. I used a bassinet that I would pull up to my side of the bed an I could still touch them at night. I breast fed all three of my children and they all were great sleepers both during the day and at night. With my children I swaddled them we also swaddle all the babies in open cribs in NICU. They may not like the act of being swaddled but they all calm down and will sleep. Baby's like to feel there boundreys. Some babies like to smell their mothers breast milk so we put a cloth that has some breast milk on it next to them the smell helps them feel secure.

We used the miracle blanket to swaddle and a sound machine with white noise to help them sleep. I recommend the conair one. You can get it in the pharmacy section at walmart. My twins started sleeping in their cribs at about 4 weeks. I woke up and went into their room to nurse at night or brought them into bed with me but always put them back to bed after feedings.

It is such a myth that breastfed babies take longer to sleep through the night. My dd slept through the night the first night she was born. We had her at a birthing center and when home that day. No problems sleeping. Every night she fell asleep and slept like a champ. Wait until he is older. It is interesting to note in all the adoption education literature they acknowledge that babies who are left to cry develop depression and attachment disorders however in popular writings everyone ignores the issue.

I wouldn't attempt any sleep training until 4-6 months. At this age the baby needs the feedings, changes, and bond development- now is when he learns to trust that you respond to him when he needs you. Around 4-6 months he should have developed that trust and you can do some basic sleep training (keeping in mind that 6 hours is considered sleeping through the night at that age and ALOT of kids don't sleep through the night until 12-18 months old). Sleep training now could cause seperation anxiety issues later.

I did have my daughter sleeping in her crib from day one, but we rocked her to sleep until she was 6 months and able to comfort herself.

I have found so much great advice on the chat boards of www.mothering.com :)

J.,

Your baby is too little to self sooth. He really doesn't know how and depends on you to sooth him. I think 3-4 months is a better time to try to let him put himself to sleep and even then, it's helpful to help him out some, but letting him calm down and be almost sleep before putting him in bed. A light mobile on the side of the crib helps a ton. My 3 1/2 month old daughter loves it. It will also help to put him already asleep in the crib/pack and play instead of in bed with you. I know it's tempting (I have done it myself many times - I am also breastfeeding), but like you said you end up not sleeping well and the older the baby gets the more used to it he will be and than it will be harder for you to break the habit. My first son started to sooth himself to sleep around 4-5 months and has been going to bed on his own ever since. You just need to give your baby a little more time. He is still too young as of right now and just doesn't have the maturity nescessary to self sooth. Just my opinion and what has worked for me.

A. H.

My breastfed baby slept through the night quicker than my other children, so I think it depends on the child, not what that book said . But my last feeding for the night before laying her down for the night in her bed was more like 9:30 or 10:00 and she slept until 5 a.m. which I thought was wonderful. I started feeding her rice ceral the last feeding of the night, and think that really helped. Each child is different, but if your baby cries over 20 minutes or so, pick it up sooth it rick it and put it right back in bed, and make sure the bed isn't too cold or hot, and it think the comforting will help. When you put it to bed the time it cried so long, it may not of really been sleepy, as they do start staying awake longer at this time also, and then the combination of not sleeping with you for the first time. Pat it and even sing to it a little when you first lay it down if it starts to cry, and then walk off. Good luck.

I am a birth and postpartum doula, and also teach "The Happiest Baby On The Block".
Letting a baby "cry it out" does cause the baby to detach even at this early age. In the first three months, when a baby cries, it has a definite need. Sometimes that need is to be close to Mama or to be held. Babies in the first three months, especially the first six weeks, do not move around, so you don't have to be fearful of the baby getting caught somewhere. Co-sleeping is very good for a working mom to keep that connection with the baby. Most problems with babies being injured are women (or men) who take medications or drink alcohol, which causes them to lose that natural ability to sleep light and wake up when the baby wakes up. My daughter has an 11 mo. old who slept with her until just recently. She still puts her in bed with her if she wakes for an early morning feed. She has successfully, fully breastfed her this whole time and she went back to work at six weeks. I would suggest finding a babysitter at home for the first three months. If not, I would suggest eliminating the formula and pumping to feed the baby. The baby would have less chance of getting sick in a daycare center because of the mom's antibodies in the milk. You need to fully breastfeed though. It is more work, but well worth it. My daughter's baby has not been sick except for a few teething times when she had a runny nose. She has never had to take antibiotics or medication in 11 months. If you nurse throughout the night, then the baby does not need as much during the day. They should have one longer sleep period during 24 hours, and it could be during the day rather than at night for those first few months.

Go online and order "the Miracle Blanket". It is WELL worth the money. It keeps the baby in the tight swaddle that he/she needs during the first few months, or as long as the baby is happy with it. Warning........they will fight it while you are swaddling, but pick them up and turn them on their side facing away from you, or toward the stomach and they will immediately get quiet. (most of the time) Get the DVD or contact me or the other woman who mentioned The Happiest Baby. It really does work!

I think that 6 weels is a little young to try to establish a schedule, at that young the baby is hungry when he is humgry and sleepy when he is sleepy - you will just have to be a little more tired at work and go on the schedule he sets. Many of us working moms have had to do it.
There is one thing that worked wonders with my son though. It is called the amazing miracle blanket, you can find it online (do a google search) My now 9 month old would not sleep in his bassinet or crib, only with us. The first night we used this blanket he slept 10 hours. It really was amazing. I would diaper him, wrap him, and then feed him wrapped up and after the feeding put him down; sometimes asleep already and sometimes still awake and he would go right to sleep.
Good luck, you have to do what is right for your family. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for whatever choice you make. You are the momma and have to do what you feel is right for your children.

You are doing the very best for your child by responding in a loving manner to his needs. Newborns do not have "wants", only needs and therefore cannot be "spoiled" at this age. Do what works for your family to help everyone get the sleep that you all need. What works for one family may be completely wrong for another.
I will advise that putting a breastfed baby on a strict feeding routine, ie "Babywise", will diminish your milk supply greatly and could interfere with weight gain. I understand that you are supplementing with formula as well, but if you would like to continue with some nursing you'll need to maintain your supply. This is best done by nursing on demand in the early months, even through the night. Breastmilk is very quickly and easily digested. this combined with the tiny tummies of newborns is the reason for their need to feed more frequently even at night. Formula is much more difficult to digest and therefore takes longer for them to feel hungry again.
Good luck with your return to work and congratulations on your new little one!

Well, my babies were difficult to get to sleep for the first few weeks. Even beyond six weeks. With my now 6 month old there were many nights, like you, that I gave up and just put her in bed with me. I wasn't able to let her cry that long, at that young of age. So, I put her in bed with me b/c that is the only way that I was able to get some rest. Eventually, I was able to just lay her down where she would take a pacifier and sooth herself. It is a trained skill - babies don't automatically know how to soothe themselves. However, you may give them opportunities to learn. I found the best time was during nap times b/c it was not disrupting your evening sleep which is the most important. Feed, rock and lay down awake...see what happens. At 6 weeks I wouldn't really expect a whole lot. Good luck.

I think 6 weeks is too early to have him "cry it out". They don't have the ability to self-soothe at that age. You should just do whatever is working best for you to get your sleep esp. with you going back to work. You need as much sleep as you can get.

I have an unusual situation. My kids are 7 years apart exactly, (they share a birthday). With my oldest, our daughter, we could not get the breastfeeding together and I gave up and went to formula. With my youngest, our son, I breastfed exclusively. Both kids slept through the night at exactly 8 weeks old. They both slept in their cribs in their own room from the day they came home from the hospital. With our daughter, we rocked her to sleep and had issues when she was a year old with her waking up several times a night. The doctor told us she needed to learn to put her self back to sleep. We never had these issues with our son, as we put him in the crib and left him to go to sleep.
Jen D.-Frisco