Hi Leanny,
I could have written your post 6 years ago! You are in a very difficult stage in life! But it is only a stage, I promise. I don't know if this is much comfort to you, but your son will grow out of it in about a year. I think some moms told me that too, and while it was slightly comforting to know that things will improve, I wanted help NOW! Really, in my case, time and Prilosec helped. I tried everything: altering my diet to help with milk allergens, Nutraminagen (sp), thickening, etc. I am not advocating this for you because the risk of SIDS, but my little man was so miserable sleeping on his back. He would scream and scream and I would cry right with him. I tried elevation but he would end up kind of scrunching down to the foot of the mattress. When he was put on his tummy, he'd sleep comfortably. We learned that because he would sleep tummy to tummy with my husband sleeping in a recliner. He spent several nights sleeping like that. Then one day out of total and absolute desperation, I put him on his tummy for a nap and, Zonk, out like a light. That day, I cried tears of relief that he was in less pain, but then I had a new crop of fears to deal with...SIDS. So we bought a mattress alarms that sounded when there was no movement on the mattress for a preset amount of time. (Again, I'm not recommending this, I'm just sharing my experience.) Ugh...the decisions we parents have to make! He wanted to be carried all the time because he felt comforted by me. And it was mostly me that he wanted...not family members and that caused quite a stir. My biggest help was a Bjorn sling (if I'm recalling the name correctly). There are probably better slings out there now. But I "wore" my son for most of his first year! :-) I now look back fondly on that sling wearing year which absolutely AMAZES me because it was soooooo hard!!! Girlfriend, do what you can for yourself when those opportune moments arise: bubble baths, soothing music, read a book, pray, take a walk, join an on-line support group, etc. Whatever gives you strength to persevere. I'm afraid that is really ultimately all that helps, time and persevering.
Hang in there. It will get better!
K.